Mental heath and stress has been so bad I haven't left my bed in 7 days I can't handle it I can't even eat. And doesn't help I had a fallen out with my toxic former friend, but that's low-key a good thing bc she be abusing me everyday about it

I genuinely am such a f*cking idiot and as soon as possible I need to change my line of work. I should not be a concierge anymore. I fraternize with residents in a way that gets me constantly into trouble. yes, I am personable. yes, I'm drunk as ffffeuck rn. yes tonight was fun af. yes, I am Joe. yes, I am charismatic. I was handsome in my early 20s and probably could be again if IIiiiiii cut my hair (which I plan on doing soon). I need therapy bad and I need to not be a concierge throughout the next decade

On 5/26/2026 at 2:04 PM, Hollywood. said:

Been really good friends with this guy for the past year. It was the first time I bonded with someone as friends in a while, where I felt safe to be fully open about anything and vice versa. Last year, on the anniversary of my best friend's death, he took transit to my work to make sure I was okay. We messaged daily and usually saw each other 2-3 times a week. The longest we had gone apart was 3 weeks previously.

However, over the last two months, it seems we've been drifting. Something happened in March, and it doesn't seem like we've been able to recover from it. He also went through a rough time in April, and so I gave him space. But now it seems like it's even worse.

He says he still wants to hang out, but disappears when I try to play things. Now he leaves me on read for like 24 hours at a time.

Anyways I finally asked him how he really feels, and I feel were drifting apart, and we ended up fighting. I kinda regret even bringing it up because I feel like I just killed our friendship, but at the same time, it probably needed to be done.

Well its possible things could cool off and we could overcome it, I have a feeling that it just might be time to move on. It sucks cause I'll miss him a lot. I haven't seen him in person since the end of March.

He blocked me so I guess that's curtains on this friendship.

Tempting to sell my BTS ticket and just kms

Im not wanted anywhere And when I try to talk to people they delete me and tell me go kill myself anyways

I can't do this anymore I'm not wanted in real life, I'm not wanted on atrl or the discord server I'm not wanted in army and stay community. Everyone of gm family died or doesn't talk to me and even though my mother is all I got it's not heathy for her to be the only person I can talk too

I got nobody and nobody to talk to after being disogsed with autism Australia has cut of all help for me to even talk to someone about my mental heath

Like all I want to go is just leave this miserable life I'm in

honestly I'll be f*cking so depressed if I'm only with men ever again for the rest of my life. literally what is it. what makes me so disgusting to women and to non-binary people that they never want to kiss me? WHAT. is it

36 minutes ago, jeauseph said:

honestly I'll be f*cking so depressed if I'm only with men ever again for the rest of my life. literally what is it. what makes me so disgusting to women and to non-binary people that they never want to kiss me? WHAT. is it

You look really cute on you pfp

But I'm a man

2 hours ago, Angelshark said:

You look really cute on you pfp

But I'm a man

thank you

On 5/31/2026 at 3:13 PM, Hollywood. said:

He blocked me so I guess that's curtains on this friendship.

I'm sorry.

This happened to me a while back, where I got very close with someone who I'd see on the weekly - and out of nowhere I was blocked on everything. It really does suck, and it took a lot of getting use too. I hope you find some peace, and you're not hard on yourself. I have since followed the 'bus ride' philosophy.. friendships are like a ride on the bus, not everyone is meant to go to the very last stop with you - but it's still okay to cherish those memories that they were on the bus for you before hopping off.

18 hours ago, Mezik said:

I'm sorry.

This happened to me a while back, where I got very close with someone who I'd see on the weekly - and out of nowhere I was blocked on everything. It really does suck, and it took a lot of getting use too. I hope you find some peace, and you're not hard on yourself. I have since followed the 'bus ride' philosophy.. friendships are like a ride on the bus, not everyone is meant to go to the very last stop with you - but it's still okay to cherish those memories that they were on the bus for you before hopping off.

I read about your friend in the other friend. I'm sorry that happened to you. I don't know why it's so hard to find real friendships this day. We use to real value great friends when we were younger and now people toss others out of their life for almost nothing.

In my case, there was something that happened that triggered this and I tried so many times to repair our relationship but it became clear he didn't share that interest.

I found he didn't block me on one app so I'm going to send a goodbye message, just for closure and start moving forward.

I like your train analogy for relationship. Not everyone will stay on until the final stop.

1 minute ago, Hollywood. said:

I read about your friend in the other friend. I'm sorry that happened to you. I don't know why it's so hard to find real friendships this day. We use to real value great friends when we were younger and now people toss others out of their life for almost nothing.

In my case, there was something that happened that triggered this and I tried so many times to repair our relationship but it became clear he didn't share that interest.

I found he didn't block me on one app so I'm going to send a goodbye message, just for closure and start moving forward.

I like your train analogy for relationship. Not everyone will stay on until the final stop.

It's never too late I have learned to start developing new friends. I had a mindset that "now that I am in my 30s, making organic friends is impossible".

But both my parents, well into their 60s, have developed so many new friends - and really good ones - in the last few years, it gives me hope. Hell, two Thanksgivings ago they had to rent out a banquet hall because so many of their friends were invited to Thanksgiving Dinner there wasn't enough room.

I hope you don't blame yourself, or him, or any one aspect that 'triggered' this event. A friendship worth repairing can withstand even the hardest triggers. I hope sending the goodbye message gives you the closure you need.

4 minutes ago, Hollywood. said:

I found he didn't block me on one app so I'm going to send a goodbye message, just for closure and start moving forward.

Girl he just forgot to block you there. Don't do it! Closure is not a real thing, just move forward.

You're only going to make yourself more upset when he reads and doesn't reply

I'm ready to self-destruct and become a full time alcoholic but the physical symptoms are just TOO much It's a good sign that I have restraint and I can stop drinking when I start to feel sick but I miss the days when i could get blackout drunk 4 days in a row

53 minutes ago, KFC said:

Girl he just forgot to block you there. Don't do it! Closure is not a real thing, just move forward.

You're only going to make yourself more upset when he reads and doesn't reply

As a recovering alcoholic we were taught to make amends to those we wronged - whether they choose to accept is in their control.

So if he reads/ignores it that's on him - I've made my feelings known and I can just move forward. I don't like ending relationships on sour notes.

Erm, where is the search bar lol

Depressed about being the most hated person on atrl because people don't have a sense of humor.

I don't want to be a shut-in

I want to start going out and dating again but I'm scared of being perceived

Being in the gay community is just as isolating as being a gay closeted kid going to school in a conservative city. One that still clocked the tea and made your life hell. Just a vain **** hole with judgemental ******* who clique up and stay in their bubble.

On 6/7/2026 at 1:02 PM, KFC said:

I'm ready to self-destruct and become a full time alcoholic but the physical symptoms are just TOO much It's a good sign that I have restraint and I can stop drinking when I start to feel sick but I miss the days when i could get blackout drunk 4 days in a row

Girl don't!! My older bros an alcolhic and although he functions alright it still is such a bad place to be. I also had an alcoholic play with my heart and he truly is a sad individual. A sociopath as well. Idk if it's the alcohol or what but he was hurtful.

I'm at such a loss as for what to do with myself and my life

Sertraline + methylphenidate have been like a miracle for me.
While medication's good for me, It'll never be the cure. At least it helps me cope better with this cruel world.

On 6/17/2026 at 7:35 AM, youcallingmyname said:

Girl don't!! My older bros an alcolhic and although he functions alright it still is such a bad place to be. I also had an alcoholic play with my heart and he truly is a sad individual. A sociopath as well. Idk if it's the alcohol or what but he was hurtful.

Actually since I wrote that post I've realised that alcohol doesn't bring me the same joy it used to I should be happy but my life feels a bit empty now

1 hour ago, G.U.Y_Del_Rey said:

Sertraline + methylphenidate have been like a miracle for me.
While medication's good for me, It'll never be the cure. At least it helps me cope better with this cruel world.

Does sertraline **** with your libido or ability to get erect?

do you like teabags @KFC

Edited June 18Jun 18 by Bussea

I've had a past of self medicating but these past couple of years I've been on a journey of avoiding that. I say avoid because in a way (and I mean this in the most respectful way possible) I'm starting to think mental health is a joke or at least the way this country operates when it comes to it. I try to get my prescriptions but that sometimes leaves me financially crippled. So I try to talk it out with counselors and there's been time I leave some kinda speechless, no Gaga? I get one word answers and it feels like I'm talking to a friend who doesn't know what to say instead of a professional. I try to go to an actual therapist but the struggle is real when its easier to find weed sometimes than to get Ritalin

I failed my last exam. I've been eating calming pills like candies but they work little.