i've been putting in the self-work the past few years. Now my career is rising, my mental state is stable (or close enough), I'm consistently working out, and I have a better idea of what I want in a partner. So I'm putting myself out there to date again!

I agree with others who say that dating can be a lot of work or too demanding. But I do think there's a partner out there for me who can match my career-oriented spirit, and understands that when duty calls I gotta focus on work for a bit.

the only thing is i'd love for my finances to be in a better place. so i'd like a partner who sees our financials as separate (but we can help each other when needed)—or a rich man

Edited January 15Jan 15 by Jacobdaniel

1 hour ago, pphybrd said:

Because it hurts, the neverending cycle of meeting someone new, imagining, projecting, dreaming, only to realise he is just another man in the end. And the cycle repeats, and Im never loved the way I need to be loved. Hookups don't mean anything. They leave me empty and shrieking for love I need, but don't know how to receive. I see a good therapist, tho

sending hugs! i know it feels like a never-ending cycle. i relate, but i find comfort when i remind myself that true love and romantic relationships are special—and should be rare. If I could be in such a relationship with just anyone, it wouldn't be so special or meaningful. Unfortunately, it takes a lot of trial and error before we find a person who's the right fit. I know you'll find someone! Just stay true to yourself and what you need in a partner

i'm too cool just to be an album track

I just don't want to be in a relationship with anybody. That might change if I meet the right person, but I'm so happy with my own company and the friends / family I have that I never put much thought into it. It's sort of just accepted that I'm not a relationship person. The thought of having to share a bed with somebody else makes me want to pull my skin off. I think some people are just natural lone wolves and I'm definitely one of those people.

I'll admit that I find it hard being friends with other gay men and my current best friends are either lesbians or straight females and males as whenever I've tried to become friends with another gay man, they've always became really flirty and ruined it. I know it's possible for two gay men to be friends, but the ones I seem to meet mistake my kindness / interest as me wanting to be their boyfriend.

Because my boo is a DL and i still can't let him go

I'm selfish and don't want to deal with another person and any of their troubles/drama

Because I divorced my loser husband after only 6 years of marriage and have no desire or energy for a relationship where I have to start all over because I feel like I invested too much emotionally and financially - all for it to fall through because of his beyond dumb antics and recidivism.

I'm truly fine without the company of a m*n

3 hours ago, Arthoe said:

I'm not, been in a relationship for a year now.

5 years here. I love it. But if the sistrens are good solo that's alright too

Because I feel like a failure and wouldn't feel comfortable in a relationship with that mindset

I'm too content in my own life so they've really gotta be that ***** if I'm gonna disturb my own peace

Bout to be 4 years with an amazing man, don't lose hope sisters

Cuz I'm a hoe

1 hour ago, Midnight Sun said:

I just don't want to be in a relationship with anybody. That might change if I meet the right person, but I'm so happy with my own company and the friends / family I have that I never put much thought into it. It's sort of just accepted that I'm not a relationship person. The thought of having to share a bed with somebody else makes me want to pull my skin off. I think some people are just natural lone wolves and I'm definitely one of those people.

I'll admit that I find it hard being friends with other gay men and my current best friends are either lesbians or straight females and males as whenever I've tried to become friends with another gay man, they've always became really flirty and ruined it. I know it's possible for two gay men to be friends, but the ones I seem to meet mistake my kindness / interest as me wanting to be their boyfriend.

Almost all of this really resonated with me. I really struggled with finding gay friends too but I now have 2 who are just so crucial to my life because they understand me in a way my straight friends don't and we have never made a move on each other, I never even considered that. I think there's a lot of comfort in adult gay friendships - as an example I can really discuss dating life in a meaningful way with them and know they will be able to give me good advice - I hope you find some too

By choice. I was in a four-year relationship that cost me a lot of mental suffering and I was cheated on. I've been single for over a year and will remain single forever. I went on a few dates last year, but I did it out of curiosity, but unfortunately, everyone was so hopeless and boring. I realized that no one could offer me something I couldn't give myself. There's no such thing. Plus I have high standards (if you call being well educated, having a good job and money a high standard lol). Besides, I don't like affection in everyday life and like being alone; I have many hobbies.

Because I choose to be.

I am autistic so I have nonexistent social skills and people find me very weird and awkward, I don't know how to drive, I'm not conventionally attractive, and live in a small, rural town with not many guys to choose from anyway.

I was in a relationship years ago and was lowkey insane lol. I was very young and it was my first long term relationship. But after it ended, I felt so compelled to focus only on myself. I didn't date, go on dates, or even hook up for over 4 years. I worked on myself, transformed my body through healthy habits and going to the gym, got my masters degree, bought a house, and only last year started dating again.

And honestly, I think I spent so much time alone that now I'm soooo selective. I talk to men and they bore me. None of them feel like someone worth bringing into my peaceful life and shaking things up. They also usually just wanna **** and if they wanna get to me know, it never feels deep. Every date is me basically doing a therapy intake while they don't ask me a single question.

With that said, being single is more difficult financially and sometimes I'm lonely so I'd love to find my person but it's just now happening very quickly and I don't really care.

1 hour ago, Venice B said:

Because I feel like a failure and wouldn't feel comfortable in a relationship with that mindset

Ugh kinda saame

Also I met the man I loved 100% in the past but we didn't work together and didn't meet anyone else who makes me feel that way

Because im only into Asian men

Plus I'm fussy and been single too long and because I'm autistic it makes it hard for boys to like me for me without me masking to have them like me at first

I honestly gave up on trying to find someone and that vision of being in a relationship. Ppl just want to hook up and don't want any sort of commitment these days. I'll be a forever single girly and the occasional hook up here and there I guess🫠!

I'm looking to move soon - hopefully later this year, but I'm okay with next year too, depends on when I finish wrapping up my debt because I plan on getting a new car and traveling (while living in it) before I settle as well. I don't want any new attachments keeping me here, so I'm not trying to develop feelings for anyone no matter what they are. I am itching for a new relationship, though, so I will be looking to date once I end up where I want to.

Edited January 15Jan 15 by Cole

haven't met someone who is attractive and wants to commit (not cheat)

Personality disorder

6 hours ago, Soul Grabber said:

I also feel like dating today is too fast paced for me. It takes a while for me to develop feelings and feel comfortable with another person. But either they lose interest before that, or they expect me to act like their girlfriend after 1 date and I get scared away.

This. I'll never understand how some people come out of 4-6 dates with a new partner. At the same time if my own feelings don't develop as quickly as I think they should, I feel like I'm wasting my time not trying with someone else