I find myself lonely. I used to have friends in high school, but it's hard finding friends in your adult years. 

Most of the people who i thought were my friends are not. That being said, there are so many people in my life I could connect more with.

nope, i don't have any friends at all since i left my hometown

and moved to a new city my old friendship faded away cause i don't live there anymore 

and for 7 years i have been lonely and didn't date anyone too

its hard sometimes 

so were technically boat mates

Yes, I have about 5 really, really close friends that's I've been friends with for almost 15 years now. Plus I'm really close with my family so that's also a bonus. 
 

You need to focus on yourself I fear if you're struggling - once you start doing things you enjoy, you'll become magnetic and people will be drawn to you. 
 

All the best!

4 minutes ago, Swiftie In Red said:

Yes, I have about 5 really, really close friends that's I've been friends with for almost 15 years now. Plus I'm really close with my family so that's also a bonus. 
 

You need to focus on yourself I fear if you're struggling - once you start doing things you enjoy, you'll become magnetic and people will be drawn to you. 
 

All the best!

The only friends I have are far away from when I met on Facebook dating. I don't have any in my hometown 

I'm lucky, I have a lot. I've known my best friend since we were 10 and we have a great friendship, I also have a super close friend that I've only known for around 3 years. Then I have at least 4-5 close friends and around 30 friends with whom I regularly but more casually talk to or hang out with. The only friends I made in my adult years are from work tbh. Other than that it was when I was like 20-21.

Edited September 16, 2025Sep 16 by ariananext

No, I don't really think about how lonely it is without friends but def how lonely it is without a partner or something and I ain't never had one.

I'd rather have no friends than ****/toxic friends.

 

When I was a child, I had a few people like 4-5 (friends and one teacher) that were in my life that just disappeared. Either because they moved away, changed schools etc.

And I never knew what happened to them, because they had never mentioned anything (they probably didn't know themselves).

I remember being so upset that they'd gone, and that I'd never see them again.

Even now, I still think of those people and wonder what happened to them.

 

Friends that stayed throughout school life, they either faded during high school, because they changed too much and became different people.

Like complete new personalities trying to impress new people, I guess.

Then others faded once we left school. Just never saw them again and I never had a phone or internet.

 

I fell and grew apart from my childhood friends. I really haven't had any actual consistent friends since. There's one I speak to regularly who could, perhaps, be considered a good friend. But even he can be a little wishy-washy, sometimes. I have more acquaintances than actual friends.

No not really. I am a homebody anyway. My sibling who is 12 years younger than me is my friend  we get along well enough if we wanted to go see a movie, we would go together. 

 

My best friend is my older ex-boyfriend who lives two states away.  but it is strictly platonic

 

I don't really feel like the type why "requires" friends. I value my alone time and have solitary interests. I am enough

I have a few that are low maintenance. We're on the same page in terms that, while there's a special bond between us, we tend to our daily lives and don't demand attention from one another. In my opinion this is pretty healthy; you're genuinely happy for them, it doesn't get overwhelming and it's not emotionally draining. The downside is how lonely it feels sometimes cause everyone lives far away.

Edited September 16, 2025Sep 16 by Spicy Pisces

1 minute ago, DivaCup said:

No not really. I am a homebody anyway. My sibling who is 12 years younger than me is my friend  we get along well enough if we wanted to go see a movie, we would go together. 

 

My best friend is my older ex-boyfriend who lives two states away.  but it is strictly platonic

I would say that my siblings are my friends too. I rarely hangout with anyone and I've never got in a relationship

7 minutes ago, noonbob said:

No, I don't really think about how lonely it is without friends but def how lonely it is without a partner or something and I ain't never had one.

I'd rather have no friends than ****/toxic friends.

 

When I was a child, I had a few people like 4-5 (friends and one teacher) that were in my life that just disappeared. Either because they moved away, changed schools etc.

And I never knew what happened to them, because they had never mentioned anything (they probably didn't know themselves).

I remember being so upset that they'd gone, and that I'd never see them again.

Even now, I still think of those people and wonder what happened to them.

 

Friends that stayed throughout school life, they either faded during high school, because they changed too much and became different people.

Like complete new personalities trying to impress new people, I guess.

Then others faded once we left school. Just never saw them again and I never had a phone or internet.

 

I've never had one either. I'm one of those people who don't date  I wish I was one of those people who's always in a relationship 

No, my parents raised me to not trust anyone and if they saw me hanging out with anyone in elementary they'd immediately accuse them of strange unrealistic things, and I really believed them up until around 19 years old when I sneaked out and met my first bf (now ex)

 

Eventually I enrolled in college and moved and I ended up trying really hard to meet people but I had/have a lot of issues from not developing so well in my younger years that I pretty much suck at socializing with others other than being sorta good at small talk where we can get something out of each other (imo). I got a little better and eventually was in a friend group (more like party friend group) in college before things fell apart after I got into a fight with the group "leader", which as you can imagine didn't end well for me. I graduated and now I'm back home so I can't really do much now... my dad says hanging out with men is gay  so I'm pretty much back at square one

Edited September 16, 2025Sep 16 by BBathHausOfGaga

When I got sober a lot of my old friendships just changed because I can't socialize at bars anymore and don't do anything after work except maybe grab a dinner or just go home and chill and prep for the next day.

 

i haven't quite found a new group of friends yet…. But it's okay I don't feel lonely.

I have a few, but I'm seriously in need for a few low maintenance friends that I can go out for a coffe regularly, but definitely not interested in someone I have to chat/talk every single day.

Yeah I have a decent group of friends made up from people I went to high school with (I'm 28 )

 

Spoiler

However I have two boyfriends so that keeps me super busy 

 

3 minutes ago, BBathHausOfGaga said:

No, my parents raised me to not trust anyone and if they saw me hanging out with anyone in elementary they'd immediately accuse them of strange unrealistic things, and I really believed them up until around 19 years old when I sneaked out and met my first bf (now ex)

 

Eventually I enrolled in college and moved and I ended up trying really hard to meet people but I had/have a lot of issues from not developing so well in my younger years that I pretty much suck at socializing with others other than being sorta good at small talk where we can get something out of each other (imo). I got a little better and eventually was in a friend group (more like party friend group) in college before things fell apart after I got into a fight with the group "leader", which as you can imagine didn't end well for me. I graduated and now I'm back home so I can't really do much now... my dad says hanging out with men is gay  so I'm pretty much back at square one

3 minutes ago, swaggerific said:

I've never had one either. I'm one of those people who don't date  I wish I was one of those people who's always in a relationship 

Same 

I've always found the idea of it so awkward. Like going out there and searching for someone, I'm not even talking about dating apps, I really don't think I could do that.

 

I'm really dumb, but in my mind I will meet Prince Charming naturally and develop a relationship organically. Ofc it's delusion cos it ain't ******* happened yet.

Plus anyone who is for me is probably in hiding too, not out there in the streets, clubs, bars.

 

Life is ****.

1 minute ago, noonbob said:

Same 

I've always found the idea of it so awkward. Like going out there and searching for someone, I'm not even talking about dating apps, I really don't think I could do that.

 

I'm really dumb, but in my mind I will meet Prince Charming naturally and develop a relationship organically. Ofc it's delusion cos it ain't ******* happened yet.

Plus anyone who is for me is probably in hiding too, not out there in the streets, clubs, bars.

 

Life is ****.

One day we will meet our Prince Charmings

Making friends as a working adult is probably the biggest shock of adulthood that no one ever talks about. We no longer have captive friendships (through school, uni, family friends, part time jobs with other young adults) and everyone starts settling down with their long-term partners and works full time. 
 

Also exacerbated by the fact that there's no social consequence for being a flaky friend. The wind blows the wrong way and people will cancel on you these days. 

I have like one friend who I see a handful of times a year and every time we hang out she invites someone else to be there and spends most of the time talking to them while I awkwardly third wheel, but it's better than nothing. 
 

 

But then, I might have a looser definition of friendship than others because in my mind if you're in a group chat talking to the same people every single day, some degree of friendship can exist there. Even if you don't know their names or faces, spending time with people talking about shared interests is… something like friendship, probably.

13 minutes ago, KMO said:

Making friends as a working adult is probably the biggest shock of adulthood that no one ever talks about. We no longer have captive friendships (through school, uni, family friends, part time jobs with other young adults) and everyone starts settling down with their long-term partners and works full time. 
 

Also exacerbated by the fact that there's no social consequence for being a flaky friend. The wind blows the wrong way and people will cancel on you these days. 

That's so true, I never thought about how hard it would be to make friends as an adult, especially for an introvert. Sure you meet new people at work, but if you or they change jobs, you likely won't hear from each other again. It's so hard to stay in touch with someone if you're not forced to see each other regularly. 

 

Another thing that took me a while to accept is that most people in our lives will come and go, not stay there forever. Even if you think someone is your best friend, maybe it's just because you're in high school or college together. Doesn't mean they'll always be there. 

 

Anyway my closest friend is an online friend and I hope we don't drift apart even with the distance. I also get along great with my brother, I've always considered him a friend. 

learning a lot about you guys in here 

I'm a loner but luckily I still keep in touch with some of my high school batch mates and previous coworkers   

Aren't we all friends here