I CAN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART

 

Average score: 5.90

High score: 10 (@Europe, @Ken Lee, @MusicLoverDude)

Low score: 1 (@Mark Rih, @Doogle, @Helix)

 

 

Sorry to be blunt: This is a bad song. Though it’s not quite riding in the same Kidz Bop boat as “ME!,” that carnival fun house chorus is legitimately abysmal and honestly beneath Taylor. Unfortunately, it’s also one of the only tracks on The Tortured Poets Department with a pulse, so it naturally served as the second single (with a behind-the-scenes tour video, because this era was about cashing in, not effort). “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart” debuted at #3 on the Billboard Hot 100 during the album’s release week and managed a second week in the top ten, but it never returned to the upper reaches of the hit parade, even as it climbed to #6 on pop radio. When it exited the Hot 100 in December after 31 weeks, it ended an impressive continuous two-year run by Taylor on that chart.

 

Best bit: “Lights, camera, bitch, smile” – whatever that means!

 

ATRL says…: “Ohhhhh I get why this was a single,” @Curaga said. It was @Ewan Chaos’ “favorite when the album came out.” @MusicLoverDude raved that the “prechorus is everything. Once again relatable.” @Ken Lee dubbed it “I Can Do It With a Broken Hymen,” which is apparently a positive review.

 

“I can never quite make my mind up whether I really like this one so much,” @makeawish wrote. “Sometimes I really get into the whole thing, others it can just feel a bit sluggish. I enjoy it more often than not but it's bugged me too often to ignore. Again, I could argue that the production is sapping it a bit.”

 

@Achilles. “did enjoy this quite a lot in the beginning, but it had an even shorter shelf life than the average pop song. It was a brief moment and nothing more.” @Hyune complained that “SongPop always pushes this song and I kinda hate it now.” @KatyPrismSpirit deemed it “literally the worst produced song in her career, literally wtf is this?” (I might have to agree there.) “That anemic breakdown, I-,” @Graves sputtered. “Girl, give it a rest…,” @Doogle sighed. And @Helix offered a simple “cringe.”

4 minutes ago, Reverie said:

Trying to spam replies to each song to get Supa more pages but I have nothing to say about TTPD...

 

This Was 2023 barely reached 30 pages, so this has been a marked improvement already!

 

1 minute ago, supaspaz said:

"I Can Do It With a Broken Hymen," which is apparently a positive review.

2 minutes ago, supaspaz said:

@Ken Lee dubbed it "I Can Do It With a Broken Hymen,"

5 minutes ago, Suilen said:

Deserved a bit better. Only the Joe songs are worth a damn on this album, huh? We love a trans ally.

 

Maybe you can help me out since @a_d_22 left me hanging. Who is "The Alchemy" about if not Travis Kelce?

 

I'm kind of an apologist for this song... I feel like it injects some life into the second half of the album.

 

LALALA LALALA LOOOOoOOOVE YOU

LALALA LALALA LOOOOoOOOVE YOUUUU

 

At first I wanted to write a shady comment, but you know what, kudos for being vulnerable and self-aware.

This was the only TTPD song I'd heard before this rate and I remember telling a friend I'd heard it and thought it was kinda boppy. His response was "none of the rest of the album is like that so don't bother"

Lights, camera, *****, smile

 

Florida!!!

 

 

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart

 

2 minutes ago, supaspaz said:

Maybe you can help me out since @a_d_22 left me hanging. Who is "The Alchemy" about if not Travis Kelce?

 

Well, I gave it a mid score, so probably about THAT man or creating the philosopher's stone analog for staying immortal on the charts, no clue.

 

1 minute ago, supaspaz said:

Maybe you can help me out since @a_d_22 left me hanging. Who is "The Alchemy" about if not Travis Kelce?

 

It's about Matty.

The sign on your heart says it's still reserved for me alludes to when they were previously together. 
 

 

Talks about making a comeback - this is all in reference to leaving Joe. 
 

He jokes that it's heroin but this time with an e is a joke he likely made to her about his heroin addiction (see Halsey's Colors)

 

The way she uses touchdown in the song too is like when a plane touches down, not an actual touchdown as implied by her putting a space between touch and down. 
 

It seems likely that the song was written about Matty and then she started dating Travis right before she submitted the album and tacked the song on because she thought people wouldn't see through that. It's also further seen that So High School had to be included on The Anthology likely because she didn't have time to write a song about him and get it to the vinyl printers.

 

DOWN BAD

 

Average score: 5.96

High score: 10 (@a_d_22, @Europe, @jacklovesyou1, @Norte)

Low score: 1 (@Ewan Chaos)

 

 

The titular refrain of this midtempo heartbreak whine is presumably meant to be taken with a wink, though you can be never be sure with Taylor. She is many wonderful things, but skilled at conveying humor in her songwriting is not among them. And in the midst of an extended metaphor about alien abduction, “I’m down bad crying at the gym” just feels jarring and pedestrian. Nevertheless, “Down Bad” became the highest-charting album track from The Tortured Poets Department during its release week, all the way up at #2 on the Billboard Hot 100.

 

Best bit: that spectral synth from the intro, which sounds like an extraterrestrial communication

 

ATRL says…: “This is one of the Swiftie fan favorites...?” @Ewan Chaos asked. “Sounds like a D-tier Melodrama reject.” @KatyPrismSpirit thought it was a “horrible song, sorry.” @MusicLoverDude found it “a bit overrated but still decent.” @glitch laughed at the refrain. “She was really trying to win the gays over with that one,” he wrote. Even a fan like @makeawish found it frustrating. “Possibly one of the catchiest songs on the album but again there's a flatness that really holds it back,” he lamented. “Just a bit more sparkle from the synths and this would be great rather than ok. The moment when it becomes (even more) clear that Jack should have been fired into the sun.” @Achilles. theorized that “every pop girl has to have a song about aliens to accompany their song using Barbie metaphors so we were overdue for one. I do think that this is better than ‘My Boy,’ so that’s…something, at least. But again, the concept is just too cliche. I enjoy the chorus well enough and the way the bridge calls back to (and flips) the bridge of ‘New Romantics’ is an unexpected and welcome moment.”

Just now, supaspaz said:

"Sounds like a D-tier Melodrama reject."

But enough about Lorde's current singles! *rimshot*

2 minutes ago, supaspaz said:

Nevertheless, "Down Bad" became the highest-charting album track from The Tortured Poets Department during its release week, all the way up at #2 on the Billboard Hot 100.

Swifties are so unserious, I--

2 minutes ago, a_d_22 said:

It's about Matty.

The sign on your heart says it's still reserved for me alludes to when they were previously together. 
 

 

Talks about making a comeback - this is all in reference to leaving Joe. 
 

He jokes that it's heroin but this time with an e is a joke he likely made to her about his heroin addiction (see Halsey's Colors)

 

The way she uses touchdown in the song too is like when a plane touches down, not an actual touchdown as implied by her putting a space between touch and down. 
 

It seems likely that the song was written about Matty and then she started dating Travis right before she submitted the album and tacked the song on because she thought people wouldn't see through that. It's also further seen that So High School had to be included on The Anthology likely because she didn't have time to write a song about him and get it to the vinyl printers.

I did clock the heroin reference, but somebody has really got to fix these Genius annotations!

 

Same with "Loml." That really sounds like it's about Matty to me, but everything online is tying it to Joe.

Down Bad sounds like something that wouldn't have even made the cut for one of the 35 reissues of Midnights. Jack was tired.

 

2 minutes ago, Graves said:

But enough about Lorde's current singles! *rimshot*

 

I love them. They're at least B-tier.

1 minute ago, supaspaz said:

I did clock the heroin reference, but somebody has really got to fix these Genius annotations!

 

Same with "Loml." That really sounds like it's about Matty to me, but everything online is tying it to Joe.

I 100% agree the Genius annotations are terrible and loml is definitely about Matty too.

Well, it was catchy, which is an achievement for this record, but ultimately too cheesy.

6 minutes ago, supaspaz said:

@Achilles. theorized that every pop girl has to have a song about aliens to accompany their song using Barbie metaphors

10 minutes ago, a_d_22 said:

loml is definitely about Matty too.

Which is so crazy to me. I would kill for Taylor to do an interview about what the hell was going through her mind during that brief period.

My 1s being the bottom 3 is a kii. Now let's get botnite outta here.

 

 

4 minutes ago, Graves said:

Swifties are so unserious, I--

It's just because it was the third song on the album.