Welcome to the first segment of Dating Trouble!

 

So for a bit of context, I'm in the Balkans right now with family. We're doing a cute little tour through Bosnia, Croatia, and Montenegro. While here, I started talking to someone on *the app* and we made plans to meet. Need to make the trip more thrilling somehow! 
 

We agreed to meet around 5 p.m., and I even followed up saying, "i will see you then!" He replied "sure" with a thumbs-up and handshake emoji, so I assumed we were set. He asked if I had a car a few hours after, and I went no because I didn't want to drive intoxicated after & didn't even know him that well to want to get in his.

 

Anyway, I eventually get to the spot and wait outside for a bit, text him what I'm wearing, the usual. Then out of nowhere, he sends me a Google Maps link to a random bar in a town 10 min away and says, "look at the photos of this amazing bar." I replied saying, "looks amazing! but sadly i am not in [bar with cute town] haha." Right after that, he goes, "I have car lol," and then follows it up with, "I am on my way to you" That's when I responded with, "I prefer not to go by car after we haven't met yet, I'm sorry."

 

Mind you, I was already outside the bar we'd agreed to meet at. But instead of just saying okay or adjusting, he starts acting like I never confirmed the plan, or like I was the one being difficult, even though he was the one who changed things last minute and tried to pick me up without even checking first. Like... what? He proceeded to text me asking where I was 7 minutes after, but I already left. Was having a weird day already (dad had heatstroke while out, he's fine now thank gawd], weird man kept on trying to talk to me while omw to this literal bar) so my tolerance for this bullshit was non-existent lol.

 

So now I'm wondering... was I wrong for setting that boundary, or was I just being careful?

 

 

He sounds strange, I think you were right to leave after he didn't meet up in the agreed spot. Better safe than sorry

No trust your gut especially in another country. There will be more men. 

1 minute ago, infrared said:

There will be more men. 

sounds like a threat

you were 100% in the right, he was being weird and tried to steer you away from the initial plan. any reasonable person would be understanding of your boundaries. 

Edited June 12, 20251 yr by Dolce Vita

You did the right thing. Even thought I got in stranger's cars multiple times in my lifetime that's not something I'd recommend someone doing, especially in a foreign country. 

 

Kinda unrelated but have you been enjoying Montenegro? Always wanted to go there, it looks so pretty but I'm more of a big city gal myself so don't know if I would enjoy it  

no that boundary is completely valid. he was flaky with plans and you both agreed to meet at a certain spot. You dodged a bullet 

You did the right thing, in fact it took you too long to block his ass. 

stranger danger, he was probably going to steal your kidneys

You were not being difficult, you made the right choice not meeting him.

You both agreed on a time and place - he pivoted to another location for no reason, and then gaslighted you. That is a red flag.

 

He just wants to suck your cock in a car, literally

 

Or he's a shady *****

Y'all will literally log onto an app, hit up a random person you've never seen or spoken to a day in your life, meet up within hours, but the boundary is being in his is car? You got it.

 

13 minutes ago, JonginBey said:

Y'all will literally log onto an app, hit up a random person you've never seen or spoken to a day in your life, meet up within hours, but the boundary is being in his is car? You got it.

 

girl, people have to meet somehow lol. new friends and connections are not just going to 'happen', there's always a first meeting  OP was being safe and responsible by scheduling the first date in a public place and leaving after the person started being weird and tried to get him in their car. i don't see an issue here, what difference does it make that it was an app? you could meet a shady person that'll ruin your life irl too

1 hour ago, EtherealCat said:

stranger danger, he was probably going to steal your kidneys

agreed always be on the lookout for the killer

11 minutes ago, John Slayne said:

girl, people have to meet somehow lol. new friends and connections are not just going to 'happen', there's always a first meeting  OP was being safe and responsible by scheduling the first date in a public place and leaving after the person started being weird and tried to get him in their car. i don't see an issue here, what difference does it make that it was an app? you could meet a shady person that'll ruin your life irl too

A first date with someone you met five seconds ago from a hook up app? Y'all are not serious. 
 

 

2 minutes ago, JonginBey said:

A first date with someone you met five seconds ago from a hook up app? Y'all are not serious. 
 

 

36 minutes ago, JonginBey said:

Y'all will literally log onto an app, hit up a random person you've never seen or spoken to a day in your life, meet up within hours, but the boundary is being in his is car? You got it.

 

It's true but if I were abroad I would be cautious as well, seems fair

41 minutes ago, JonginBey said:

Y'all will literally log onto an app, hit up a random person you've never seen or spoken to a day in your life, meet up within hours, but the boundary is being in his is car? You got it.

 

well…. i don't see the issue meeting in a very public place with said stranger. i love getting to know people and a bar is a good way to do that  the precautions i set were understandable too i think. came here expecting a whacking tho

 

 

 

You overreacted and missed out on a really quality top with a car 

4 minutes ago, mercurialworld said:

well…. i don't see the issue meeting in a very public place with said stranger. i love getting to know people and a bar is a good way to do that  the precautions i set were understandable too i think. came here expecting a whacking tho

 

 

 

Don't get me wrong, King. It's okay to take safety precautions, but I guess the way I saw it was if you're already courageous enough to be meeting up with a stranger in a foreign country, then it didn't seem like boundaries were in place to begin with.

 

22 minutes ago, John Slayne said:

Stan them for clear skin

Isn't this a classic strategy flakes use to not show up but to make the other person seem at fault?

 

Like when I used to use *the app* I had 1 or 2 instances where I arrived at the appointed place and then get texts of a completely different location suddenly.

 

They never had plans to show up, they just want you to be the one to cancel and be at fault for it "not working out". 

 

Basically you dodged a toxic bullet. 

Dating trouble? B*tch what DATE

Edited June 12, 20251 yr by P.O.P

Why would you care if you overreacted? 

35 minutes ago, family.guy123 said:

Why would you care if you overreacted? 

well when you put it that way...