going on a date in a couple hours . Ive been on dates consistently the past 6 months and ive always just been myself ( but a slightly less disgusting version ) , although Lately ive been wondering if theres some kind of unspoken tips or tricks to mastering first dates . does that make sense ?

Like are you guys going into these dates deliberately trying to present a ' hard to get ' aura about yourselves ? do you deliberately let the other guy lead the conversation or do you try and act engaged and have the convo bounce between you both ? the dates ive been on have all been fine , im not a weirdo and ive not come across any major weirdos as of yet , i get compliments on them but just no explosive chemistry or guys falling head over heels for me as of yet . they're always just fine . nothing more . i sometimes think because I'm so engaged in conversation and i ask the guy a lot of questions and try to dig deeper that i probably come across as overly keen , so the reward system is already ticked in the other guy's head … like , in his head he's completed the chase so the thrill is gone for him . but that's a whole other thread

usually id say i come across as pretty engaged and sincere ( ive been told ) and try to have smart chats with humour but i want this guy to be FERAL for me because hes so hot .. do i just act cold and mysterious instead ? please give me your tips and tricks atrl

Edited February 7Feb 7 by May

I think it's never worth it to play games or manufacture a persona around yourself. This will sound cliche but you should always choose to just be yourself and not downplay or overdo any aspect of your personality. Just stay kind, talkative and open. My philosophy is that the only aura worth creating around yourself during dates is that of openness and comfort.

I truly believe that if it's meant to be, it will be. And if someone sees you as an overly keen 'golden retriever' or a cold and mysterious 'ice queen', it won't matter if they really want to continue engaging with you. Acting or playing will always catch up to you and bite you in the ass sooner or later. Connections should be sincere and built on authenticity

I haven't been to a date-date in quite a while because I find them a bit too formal but I'm curious, since you've been on many dates lately, what happens afterwards? Were they all bad dates if they didn't end up in a relationship? What do you do if a date is just okay but there's no spark but also no major red flags?

Horny

I usually rip ass and say if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve my best.

It also depends on the way you guys clicked and the type of conversations you had before- if it was unserious, or more uptight.

You already presented yourself in the way that got you this date so don't make a plan or script that will most likely go out the window the moment you're there. From what I've seen you're pretty fun to be around with so good luck, you got this.

I always try to preach them the gospel of Jesus Christ

I personally think planning ahead isn't a great idea. Just be natural and easy going. If the Chem is there, the chat shouldn't be stressful

9 minutes ago, Lithium said:

I haven't been to a date-date in quite a while because I find them a bit too formal but I'm curious, since you've been on many dates lately, what happens afterwards? Were they all bad dates if they didn't end up in a relationship? What do you do if a date is just okay but there's no spark but also no major red flags?

it's a mix , and tbh im going down a bit of a rabbithole spiralling over how bleak dating culture has gotten now that it's all app-based . like , sometimes i'll come back from a date that i think went perfectly and the other guy seemed extremely engaged and complimentary … only to never hear from him again although im not a victim here because i feel like ive done similar also once or twice unintentionally ( life things popping up so the other guy mistakes me being busy/distracted as me being disinterested ) so i get it .. there are some dates where i send a follow up message saying they were lovely but i didn't feel a romantic spark , and on the flip side ive been on the receiving end of those messages too . i did have one guy go feral for me and had like a whirlwind 2-week relationship with him but it turned out he was love-bombing me and had done the same with many guys before me

i've literally had guys look me in the eyes on dates before and say **** like 'this feels right. This feels like the one' only to never get a text from them again dating in 2026 is insane

Catch me or I go houdini

don't be yourself

50 minutes ago, May said:

it's a mix , and tbh im going down a bit of a rabbithole spiralling over how bleak dating culture has gotten now that it's all app-based . like , sometimes i'll come back from a date that i think went perfectly and the other guy seemed extremely engaged and complimentary … only to never hear from him again although im not a victim here because i feel like ive done similar also once or twice unintentionally ( life things popping up so the other guy mistakes me being busy/distracted as me being disinterested ) so i get it .. there are some dates where i send a follow up message saying they were lovely but i didn't feel a romantic spark , and on the flip side ive been on the receiving end of those messages too . i did have one guy go feral for me and had like a whirlwind 2-week relationship with him but it turned out he was love-bombing me and had done the same with many guys before me

i've literally had guys look me in the eyes on dates before and say **** like 'this feels right. This feels like the one' only to never get a text from them again dating in 2026 is insane

Welcome to the world of dating sir! More common than uncommon with ghosting.

Just be yourself and have fun with no intentions at this stage. If theres chemistry you'll feel it and know. Always be clear and communicative afterwards and mirror their steps/actions. If theres no suggestion of a second date at the end of your first date, that is your signal to move onto the next person. Never overcomplicate it in your head waiting for validation afterwards, and NEVER second guess yourself if the chemistry is unrequited x

Edited February 7Feb 7 by masochizm

If they tell you that they are afraid of cats, then don't show them pictures of yourself with cats during the date. I kinda did that once (tho we still kept talking after that date but I don't remember what ended it)

Be myself.

Also depends on how my date looks. If there's chemistry instantly, I will definitely be the best version of myself.

If he looks ugly compared to his photo and there's no spark between us, I will just be cold and block him afterwards.

getting people to talk about themselves is the secret ;) also clean yourself up and avoid looking like a red flag.

Show him my ATRL activity tab

When I still used to date, I was basically myself but slightly more animated/bubbly because I feel like the everyday version of me can come across as kind of mellow or even disinterested in my environment. So I would always try to appear more present/animated.

With an open mouth and open legs

normally myself tbh. If they can't handle me and my favourite artists being my world they ain't for me

but idk I havent dated in 5 years back when I was denis stoff obsessed the guys were fine with it tbh. but now that im older idk how they will react.

16 hours ago, Hyune said:

normally myself tbh. If they can't handle me and my favourite artists being my world they ain't for me

HYUNJINˢᵏᶻ ☆ SUGAᵇᵗˢ ☆ MINGIᵃᵗᵉᵉᶻ

STRAY KIDS • AGUST D • ATEEZ • XDINARY HEROES • BTS • ENHYPEN • TXT • CORTIS • GOT7 • WAYV • BUS

ALLDAY • DENIS STOFF • THE READY SET • MAGGIE LINDEMANN • MGK • BRING ME THE HORIZON • TINASHE • VOILÀ • 360 • NESSA BARRETT • ISABEL LAROSA • DREAMCATCHER

This guy must have the patience of Jesus and/or he's deaf

Edited February 9Feb 9 by MonsterJohn

Just be yourself, it's better to present yourself the way you really are so avoid future problems.

5 hours ago, MonsterJohn said:

This guy must have the patience of Jesus and/or he's deaf

They were metalheads of course they were fine with Denis Stoff

I don't date gay boys. Only straight men with taste