Closed. Open is for whores.

Closed. I like the idea of commiting to one person and having that intimacy. An open relationship would feel weird to me

It depends on the partner. Right now my bf and I are semi-open, meaning we only play with others together. I can't imagine letting him go off and sleep with someone without me.

I hate how judgemental people are in these conversations. Yes it is possible to have a healthy closed relationship where neither party cheats, and it is also possible to have a healthy open relationship where both partners still trust and respect each other. Just because you can only conceptualise one scenario doesn't mean the other is wrong.

47 minutes ago, Faded said:

So if you wanted to have lots of sex with other guys then why get into a marriage so early on??

because I fell in love with him and he fell in love with me...? or is this not why people get married these days?

I wasn't gonna deny my feelings for him, nor deny my sexual desires, because either way I was gonna feel unhappy, trapped in a monogamous structure that didn't fully reflect who I am, or living with the regret that I might lose him simply because I was too afraid to be honest about my wants and needs

to me, sex and affection are not the same thing. my emotional intimacy, commitment, and love are exclusive to my husband, and casual sex doesn't compete with that (and I'm very explicit about not looking for romance or emotional validation outside my marriage with anyone I hook up with)

our relationship works because it's built on transparency and trust, and the understanding that love doesn't disappear just because desire exists in more than one place

Edited January 23Jan 23 by durrss

2 hours ago, durrss said:

because I fell in love with him and he fell in love with me...? or is this not why people get married these days?

I wasn't gonna deny my feelings for him, nor deny my sexual desires, because either way I was gonna feel unhappy, trapped in a monogamous structure that didn't fully reflect who I am, or living with the regret that I might lose him simply because I was too afraid to be honest about my wants and needs

to me, sex and affection are not the same thing. my emotional intimacy, commitment, and love are exclusive to my husband, and casual sex doesn't compete with that (and I'm very explicit about not looking for romance or emotional validation outside my marriage with anyone I hook up with)

our relationship works because it's built on transparency and trust, and the understanding that love doesn't disappear just because desire exists in more than one place

idk sounds kinda greedy. I was just wondering why marriage when that's literally the epitome of a monogamous structure if the love was so strong why would you lose him married or not?

2 hours ago, durrss said:

because I fell in love with him and he fell in love with me...? or is this not why people get married these days?

I wasn't gonna deny my feelings for him, nor deny my sexual desires, because either way I was gonna feel unhappy, trapped in a monogamous structure that didn't fully reflect who I am, or living with the regret that I might lose him simply because I was too afraid to be honest about my wants and needs

to me, sex and affection are not the same thing. my emotional intimacy, commitment, and love are exclusive to my husband, and casual sex doesn't compete with that (and I'm very explicit about not looking for romance or emotional validation outside my marriage with anyone I hook up with)

our relationship works because it's built on transparency and trust, and the understanding that love doesn't disappear just because desire exists in more than one place

Would you like to have sex with me?

6 minutes ago, Faded said:

idk sounds kinda greedy. I was just wondering why marriage when that's literally the epitome of a monogamous structure if the love was so strong why would you lose him married or not?

we're not married as in having a marriage certificate, but we live under a condition called "Stable Union" which is a legally recognized form of family formation in Brazil that doesn't depend on signing a paper to be recognized (as long as other people can attest that you're a couple in case of any legal issue)

"For legal purposes, a stable union grants rights similar to those of marriage, including property division, inheritance rights, survivor's pension, inclusion in health plans, and recognition as a dependent in tax filings."

I just thought saying we're married would be easier to understand

Edited January 23Jan 23 by durrss

13 minutes ago, Mythical said:

Would you like to have sex with me?

is that you on your pfp? cause I'm more of "get yourself a fat f***" type of gal

Closed. If you have to step out to me while we're meant to be dating, then we both may as well be single.

1 minute ago, durrss said:

is that you on your pfp? cause I'm more of "get yourself a fat f***" type of gal

No but I'm definitely not that either

53 minutes ago, durrss said:

we're not married as in having a marriage certificate, but we live under a condition called "Stable Union" which is a legally recognized form of family formation in Brazil that doesn't depend on signing a paper to be recognized (as long as other people can attest that you're a couple in case of any legal issue)

"For legal purposes, a stable union grants rights similar to those of marriage, including property division, inheritance rights, survivor's pension, inclusion in health plans, and recognition as a dependent in tax filings."

I just thought saying we're married would be easier to understand

Okay queen get your co-living romantic flatmate arrangement serve, maybe I'm projecting, maybe I'm jealous

Edited January 23Jan 23 by Faded

1 hour ago, Mythical said:

Would you like to have sex with me?

Yessss