Maybe you're just incompatible. He doesn't seem to feel comfortable being honest about drug use, and you're anti-drugs. Also 'as long as you don't do it anymore' is an ultimatum that doesn't really invite much discussion. That's not your decision to make, it's his. He might still be open to trying things down the line, and that's his prerogative. You're also free to disagree with it, and free to leave, but it's not up to you when all is said and done.

i don't mean this in a mean way but do y'all not have friends to discuss stuff like this ? 

Edited May 10, 20251 yr by ScorpiosGroove

This is his past where it should stay. If he doesn't do drugs anymore there's no problem. I get he lied about how many times but at least he told you the truth. Do you want this one thing that stands in the way?

I don't think shaming people like some are doing here is the best answer either. if he lied to you and is doing it now then that would be a problem but he's just being honest about his past and you asked him to be honest which he was so I don't understand why this would be a line that was crossed

Edited May 10, 20251 yr by anastaciabby

I still don't undertand if this is something new or from before your relationship

 

Either way leave him.

Because if this was a new development and you're againt drugs how are you compatible? 

And If this was before your relationship, this guy is dumb af because he lied and then he started to confess older stuff. 

 

Either way you don't share the same values

3 minutes ago, ScorpiosGroove said:

i don't mean to is in a mean way but do y'all not have friends to discuss stuff like this ? 

Thats what the lounge is for? There's threads like this every day, what's the problem ?

So you were ok with three times but the other couple of hours he spent on it is is the limit? The problem isn't the drugs, as you say it's because you didn't know about it and that somehow felt like a "betrayal". This is an unhealthy and dare I say toxic mindset. He's not stealing from your granny to fund his habit. You just don't know everything about him and that's normal. Your honesty is refreshing tho. 

Some of you are doing way too much about this.

 

Give him a chance - the past is the past. I think we've all lied to minimize judgment once in our lives. You can clarify how you feel about him. It's clear he likes you and wants to discuss this with you. You freaking out is only going to make him more apprehensive about being open. This is the first real test - if you run, then just break up. 

Omg such weird responses in this thread. OP is talking about his BF takling METH and yall acting like it's no biggie.

 

Really showcases the normalization of hard drugs in the gay community.

 

And no, drinking a beer or a wine after work is not the same as taking f**king METH so keep those "but, but AlCoHOl" responses

59 minutes ago, Whis said:

while having intercourse with a gay

Why is this worded like that.

See if Sabrina had just released Bed Chem music video, none of this would be happening 

3 minutes ago, katara said:

Omg such weird responses in this thread. OP is talking about his BF takling METH and yall acting like it's no biggie.

 

Really showcases the normalization of hard drugs in the gay community.

 

And no, drinking a beer or a wine after work is not the same as taking f**king METH so keep those "but, but AlCoHOl" responses

3MMC is not meth, let's start there

3 minutes ago, katara said:

Omg such weird responses in this thread. OP is talking about his BF takling METH and yall acting like it's no biggie.

 

Really showcases the normalization of hard drugs in the gay community.

 

And no, drinking a beer or a wine after work is not the same as taking f**king METH so keep those "but, but AlCoHOl" responses

Yeah someone asking OP if he drinks made me so angry  the audacity

This was before the relationship, we've been together for 2 months now.

7 minutes ago, Joesuxx said:

So you were ok with three times but the other couple of hours he spent on it is is the limit? The problem isn't the drugs, as you say it's because you didn't know about it and that somehow felt like a "betrayal". This is an unhealthy and dare I say toxic mindset. He's not stealing from your granny to fund his habit. You just don't know everything about him and that's normal. Your honesty is refreshing tho. 

It's not toxic. The other person lied, so it's absolutely fair to be upset about it. Trust is everything in a relationship and should never be compromised.

whether he does drugs or not, that's really his decision and has nothing to do with you.

 

but, what you can control is whether you want that around you or not. if it's something that's a done deal with you, then you should start thinking about leaving the relationship. 

Spike his drink and tell the police he OD'd, leaving you free to find a godly woman to marry

2 minutes ago, Whis said:

This was before the relationship, we've been together for 2 months now.

You should appreciate being honest with you even tho it took him a bit longer than you might have expected. He seems to really comfortable opening up to you even tho knowing youre strict against it. As long as he's not doing now, you two can grow together as a couple and will laugh about it in a few months

Edited May 10, 20251 yr by Nico Robin

5 minutes ago, katara said:

Omg such weird responses in this thread. OP is talking about his BF takling METH and yall acting like it's no biggie.

 

Really showcases the normalization of hard drugs in the gay community.

 

And no, drinking a beer or a wine after work is not the same as taking f**king METH so keep those "but, but AlCoHOl" responses

it's 3MMC not meth, two different drug compounds. they are both stimulants and share a similar compound name, but that doesn't mean it's meth. it's 2025, google is free for y'all to be ignorant like this  

3 minutes ago, Whis said:

This was before the relationship, we've been together for 2 months now.

2 months and you're mad he hasn't told you his whole life story? Do you get people to hand over their autobiographies on the first date?

If I was you, I'd move on in this case but would pay close attention to make sure there's no pattern. If it happens again - I'd end it. Trust is fundamental in a relationship. 

2 minutes ago, Whis said:

This was before the relationship, we've been together for 2 months now.

I get you wish he was more transparent but since this happened before you even were in a relationship with him I don't think its really your job to know what he did before that. if he did it during the relationship it would've been a different situation 

If he bought and streamed Radical Optimisim this never would've happened! You know what to do girlies

1 minute ago, tost1 said:

If he bought and streamed Radical Optimisim this never would've happened! You know what to do girlies

It's amusing you think I'm gonna fall for a tost1llusion

 

doing drugs is fine but only if you're blasting overpowered (2007) by roisin murphy