Have you ever had a close friend get married and not invite you to the wedding? How did it make you feel?

 

I have what I thought was a close friend, recently engaged. Now I figure out I'm not even invited to his wedding. Is this a cause to break up the friendship? 

Perhaps the friendship wasn't mutual?

I was on the other side of this (i got married and i did not invite some close friends). Two of my personal reasons in case they help process the news:

 

- one of the factors i considered when i made the list is frequency of interactions. If i haven't talked to you or spent 1:1 time in 2-3 months, you're out. 
 

- if i had invited everyone i wanted, the guest list would have been 70% my friends and 30% my husband's friends. I needed to rebalance that to grt closer to 45-55%. 
 

this was over two years ago. I explained these reasons to those i did not invite, they understood it and we're still close. 
 

My point is: it's not as easy as "are we not friends anymore?"

7 minutes ago, Contessa said:

Perhaps the friendship wasn't mutual?

I was just coming to say this.

 

Perhaps your friend didn't view the friendship in the same light that you did.

You weren't as close as you thought. That's okay. And yeah something like that happened to me before. To be honest, weddings are expensive and sometimes you just have to leave some people out. It doesn't mean they don't like you, they just prioritized other people on the guest list. Usually family has to be prioritized and some friends get cut. I wouldn't cut this friend off or anything, nor would I mention anything to them. The last thing you want is a pity invite. Instead reevaluate the friendship privately.

Yeah. You're not that close. I was in this situation before and the worse part is I had a secret crush on this "friend". He invited some of my close friend except me because he's trying to minimize the number of people. I never spoke to him after.

You ain't friends. Period. 

 

You need to love and value yourself and your friendship. 

 

That person ain't your friend. There is not even a question. 

call the FBI that day and say there's a bomb in the venue

Time to reevaluate that friendship. I probably wouldn't end the friendship, but definitely stop putting effort into maintaining it. 

crash the wedding reception 

So you weren't even invited to the evening reception?

 

I don't think he considers you a friend at all then 

Edited October 19, 20241 yr by Maneater
Spelling

next time you see them, act like you don't know them. it's what i would do, i like being petty 

I would steal the groom

 

that's amazing like you can have a full day off

Either block your friend or crash their wedding and tell them off!

There's a lot of logistics behind a weeding, so I wouldn't take it personal if I got an explanation about it. It's also very expensive. So I can be understanding about it. 

 

But if they don't even bother saying anything at all, I would just let the friendship die slowly. 

I would also find it strange if a close friend didn't invite me or I wouldn't invite close friends to my wedding if it was a wedding where not only family but also friends were invited. It seems that your friend doesn't see the friendship as closely as you do. I don't know if I would end the friendship, but I would change the dynamic. I would no longer invest so much energy in the friendship.

Edited October 19, 20241 yr by Anthinos

Some of the replies in here are kinda crazy. Obviously, if you thought this person was a true blue best friend that's one thing, but people have SO many reasons for wedding related decisions. When I got married, our venue had a maximum head count so we had to cut people we would've invited otherwise. Additionally, weddings are incredibly expensive. If you're serving a seated dinner, it can be hundreds of dollars per person. Sometimes people want really intimate weddings that just include family and their absolute closest friends. 
 

In general, I think we all make other people's weddings a little too much about ourselves. Once again, you likely know if this is a true blue scorn deep down. In most circumstances, I don't think it's worth ending a friendship.

show up unannounced, drunk and cause a huge scene. i'm talking public crying and throwing eggs on the married couple 

This is why Desi weddings stay being the most fun shebangs ever. All of y'all having lame ass boring weddings when you gotta invite the whole damn village!!

4 minutes ago, DevilsRollTheDice said:

Some of the replies in here are kinda crazy. Obviously, if you thought this person was a true blue best friend that's one thing, but people have SO many reasons for wedding related decisions. When I got married, our venue had a maximum head count so we had to cut people we would've invited otherwise. Additionally, weddings are incredibly expensive. If you're serving a seated dinner, it can be hundreds of dollars per person. Sometimes people want really intimate weddings that just include family and their absolute closest friends. 
 

In general, I think we all make other people's weddings a little too much about ourselves. Once again, you likely know if this is a true blue scorn deep down. In most circumstances, I don't think it's worth ending a friendship.

It depends on one's definition of "friendship" though. Personally, I wouldn't call someone I don't know for over 5 years and have spent a lot of 1:1 time together my friend. If such a person didn't invite me to their wedding I'd feel extremely disappointed and embarrassed. Now if it's a friend of a friend we kiki with when in larger groups of ppl, I wouldn't really care. I just can't see why I'd be bothered to maintain a friendship with someone I'm objectively really close with for over a decade if they don't consider me important enough to make "the cut".

2 minutes ago, dumbsparce said:

It depends on one's definition of "friendship" though. Personally, I wouldn't call someone I don't know for over 5 years and have spent a lot of 1:1 time together my friend. If such a person didn't invite me to their wedding I'd feel extremely disappointed and embarrassed. Now if it's a friend of a friend we kiki with when in larger groups of ppl, I wouldn't really care. I just can't see why I'd be bothered to maintain a friendship with someone I'm objectively really close with for over a decade if they don't consider me important enough to make "the cut".

We talked almost everyday for years. It just feels like a cut in the throat. Our other work friend is his best man.

18 minutes ago, Generation Braindead said:

We talked almost everyday for years. It just feels like a cut in the throat. Our other work friend is his best man.

Wow I really feel for you

i had a friend who made everyone in our friendship group (though looking back it wasn't really one) a bridesmaid beside me

So I kinda relate 

15 minutes ago, Generation Braindead said:

We talked almost everyday for years. It just feels like a cut in the throat. Our other work friend is his best man.

Even if your relationship was confided within the work place and financial limitations being a thing as well, I'd still squeeze you in the guest list out of pure shame. I had ppl I hadn't seen and talked with in years who still invited me to their wedding bc our bond was still strong despite the lack of communication.

5 minutes ago, dumbsparce said:

Even if your relationship was confided within the work place and financial limitations being a thing as well, I'd still squeeze you in the guest list out of pure shame. I had ppl I hadn't seen and talked with in years who still invited me to their wedding bc our bond was still strong despite the lack of communication.

I offered to take him on a vacation for a bachelor party. Bought them an engagement gift when they announced it. To be straight up told your not invited before they even have a venue or date is shitty.