20 hours ago, qurl said:

I'm sorry you're dealing with that sister

Sounds corny, but even finding community on ATRL can be a small comfort. Like at least you have this outlet to ask these questions and share your feelings.

We have very different lived / life experiences so I don't know that I can offer the best advice , but if you're a decent person I would say just try to go out to queer spaces and put yourself out there. Go to a bar and talk to a stranger and just be straight up and say "hey you seem interesting , I'm looking for new friends" .. one benefit of getting older, I've found, is with every year I truly care less and less what people think of me. When I've tried that approach (particularly when I lived in nyc) , sometimes it led to awkward experiences or people that weren't really interested in talking to me more than 5 minutes , but every now and then I'd end up talking with someone who became a new friend ! And in particular, if you have specific interests like video games, drag, etc certain clubs and bars will have themed nights where you're more likely to run into likeminded people. Again you're inevitably going to run into some rejection and awkwardness in doing all that , but you really have nothing to lose by just being forward and putting yourself out there. And it could lead you to finding new friends or a partner !

Worst thing you could do is resign yourself to loneliness. Everyone's tribe is out there, you just have to be diligent about find and cultivating it. And if you have the discipline to do medical school, I think you could apply that same determination to finding new people to add to your life. Don't give up !!

Thanks a lot. I will try better

18 hours ago, Janet said:

I live in the UK too and it feels so isolating as a young gay adult. No spaces to make new connections, outside of going on a night out (even that isn't great as most people are with friends already).

Do you live outside of London? Because that makes things even harder tbh.

Yeah, I live in Leicester. Nothing much happens with respect to lgbt events

18 hours ago, May said:

where do u live im in west yorkshire we can bump purses im lonely too !

I live in Leicester but happy to be friends and get to know anyone in the uk . I can send you a message here if you are down for it 😊

Making friends as an adult is challenging af. I've moved country twice in the past several years and managed to make some new friends but it's not easy. I think MeetUp is pretty good although it's certainly hit and miss. Bumble BFF is good too, I made some good friends there and even Grindr despite being the pits of hell for the most part. Also just forcing myself to say yes to things like if a strangers asks me to dinner or suggests an activity that isn't my usual thing. In my experience, bars and clubs are not usually the best way to meet someone especially for deeper connections. I think sports cubs, language exchange or meet up events work better.

Edited December 12, 2025Dec 12 by Robert

Life just doesn't seem worth living tbh

I don't think this is exclusive to gay men. I've been noticing that loneliness is one of the biggest and most overlooked issues in society.I asked on Reddit in different subs, and like 80% of the responses were basically, "I don't have any friends." Even people at a young age feel this way. The ones who have big circles of friends are actually more a rarity than the normal*
We are so connected yet so lonely.

I honestly love ATRL because we're a very family-based community, even though we're all from different countries. I feel less lonely here. It sucks sometimes that we're so far apart.....I wish it were easier to connect in real life-face to face.

I also want to mention that my brother is an immigrant in the States, and he's facing crippling loneliness there too.
Immigrants struggle a lot to be accepted in a different country. It can be incredibly hard to be an immigrant
Much respect to all the immigrants out there.
Even when they do their best, so many times they're still seen as outsiders and not treated as equals.

and there's a cold truth.. Sometimes to make friends you need to be very tolerant to shitty situations
Cause so many people today are loaded with situations and issues.
So if u get overly picky it will be hard to have good besties.
Sometimes you have to endure the mistakes of others and look for the good things. Yeah a bit toxic but nobodys perfect

Edited December 13, 2025Dec 13 by AvadaKedavra

On 12/12/2025 at 6:45 PM, Robert said:

Making friends as an adult is challenging af. I've moved country twice in the past several years and managed to make some new friends but it's not easy. I think MeetUp is pretty good although it's certainly hit and miss. Bumble BFF is good too, I made some good friends there and even Grindr despite being the pits of hell for the most part. Also just forcing myself to say yes to things like if a strangers asks me to dinner or suggests an activity that isn't my usual thing. In my experience, bars and clubs are not usually the best way to meet someone especially for deeper connections. I think sports cubs, language exchange or meet up events work better.

Thank you very much. We look into bumble BFF and MeetUp. MeetUp seems active where I'm based, will explore. Thanks a lot

On 12/13/2025 at 1:15 AM, AvadaKedavra said:

I don't think this is exclusive to gay men. I've been noticing that loneliness is one of the biggest and most overlooked issues in society.I asked on Reddit in different subs, and like 80% of the responses were basically, "I don't have any friends." Even people at a young age feel this way. The ones who have big circles of friends are actually more a rarity than the normal*
We are so connected yet so lonely.

I honestly love ATRL because we're a very family-based community, even though we're all from different countries. I feel less lonely here. It sucks sometimes that we're so far apart.....I wish it were easier to connect in real life-face to face.

I also want to mention that my brother is an immigrant in the States, and he's facing crippling loneliness there too.
Immigrants struggle a lot to be accepted in a different country. It can be incredibly hard to be an immigrant
Much respect to all the immigrants out there.
Even when they do their best, so many times they're still seen as outsiders and not treated as equals.

and there's a cold truth.. Sometimes to make friends you need to be very tolerant to shitty situations
Cause so many people today are loaded with situations and issues.
So if u get overly picky it will be hard to have good besties.
Sometimes you have to endure the mistakes of others and look for the good things. Yeah a bit toxic but nobodys perfect

You made really great points and I agree with you. Thank you very much for taking your time to.

30+ year old straight people are sooo boring. Their lives revolve around their spouse/children and their idea of social life is going out for a beer with their coworkers every 3 months. Dont even bother trying to enter their circles, they're maxed out.

Hello bestie! I know you'll pull through wherever you are.

I have nothing else to say but best wishes. Here's to 2026!

I hope you'll always look forward to your birthday every year.