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Ghosted a guy with autism...


Bacardo Royale
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1 hour ago, DonSiblon said:

You're trash for ghosting him. Give him some closure at least. 

 

7LwyOYV.gif

Exactly. Tell him that you got what you needed and you're done. And that you wish him all the best on his future relationship and fuckfests. 

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As someone who works with many clients with autism, I’m not understanding all of these comments shaming this person for asking for advice. Nothing rude or insensitive was said. 
 

Everybody with autism is immensely different. And who knows if his autism is really the cause for any of this. Be direct, clear, concise about what you want. If he isn’t receptive, that’s okay. It’s not your job to continue to explain yourself to someone who you barely know. You may have to block his number if he doesn’t stop, but just be clear about it first. It’s likely not that deep. What would you do in any other case, with someone who doesn’t have autism? It shouldn’t be much different here.

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My boyfriend is on the autism spectrum, and I love him to pieces <3 

 

I'm not going to act like I'm the spokesperson of people with ASD-- folks on the spectrum can speak for themselves. What I will say is that no person with ASD is alike, and I can tell you from dating two different guys with ASD. One guy with ASD was on the clingy side; my boyfriend is anything but clingy. ASD has nothing to do with being clingy. It's all on the individual. 

 

Direct/open communication, like others have said, is the best way to go. 

 

Perhaps he doesn't understand you're not interested. 

 

Also, people with ASD, just like other neurodivergent and neurotypical folks, have been rejected, dumped, and/or ghosted and have been just fine. Perhaps it's time to rip off the bandaid. 

 

All I ask is that you don't focus so much on a person's diagnosis-- focus on the person and how they set/communicate boundaries. 

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Why is OP getting so much backlash? Youve tried to talk to him and be nice about it but he wouldnt listen. Ghosting is the only thing you can do atp

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9 minutes ago, zasderfght said:

All I ask is that you don't focus so much on a person's diagnosis-- focus on the person and how they set/communicate boundaries. 

exactly. I've been dating someone on the spectrum for 4 years and I've probably spoken the word "autism" out loud maybe once or twice to anyone during that time

 

this thread should really be titled "Typical 20-something who can't communicate directly ghosts a guy they just had sex with"

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Ghosting someone with autism is where y’all draw the line? :rip:

 

Just do what you need to do. If he’s not understanding you need some space then block that number!

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Everyone in here lecturing you as if they’re angels :rip: 

 

Bro just ghost his ass he will get the point eventually 

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1 hour ago, Bloodflowers. said:

Just say "sorry, i don't wanna hang out. I am only into drugs and sex and you deserve someone who can offer you something more than I do. Wish you all the best *inserts Lana Del Rey - The Other Woman"

.

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Well you know it’s not like our diagnosis is necessarily what we are I mean I’m schizo by definition and I haven’t seen or heard voices and shet like that hallucinations and shet nah I mean right now Effi I think what you need to do is control your habitat to learn what is just happening rn fuqin shet can’t you hear that ugh

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Answer his next facetime while getting pounded by a bear with a 10 incher and he will get the hint :swan:

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why are you doing drugs? why are you having threesomes? none of this is safe. your poor body. please, learn to love yourself a bit. you are more than your body. you are a SOUL. You are part of the Universe. learn to have a connection. learn to love. then you will not feel the need to have sex and snort cocaine just to feel something. what do you feel is missing in your life? purpose? are you trying to hide pain? I'd really like to know what is fuelling your addiction and how I can help.

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39 minutes ago, Pikachoo said:

why are you doing drugs? why are you having threesomes? none of this is safe. your poor body. please, learn to love yourself a bit. you are more than your body. you are a SOUL. You are part of the Universe. learn to have a connection. learn to love. then you will not feel the need to have sex and snort cocaine just to feel something. what do you feel is missing in your life? purpose? are you trying to hide pain? I'd really like to know what is fuelling your addiction and how I can help.

sis, wyd…this is the good sis Bacardo, he’s always been like this :skull:

 

OT: It seems like you have good intentions, but ghosting him will hurt him more—in the long run—than just telling him directly. Trust me, he’ll respect you a lot more for it and your conscience will thank you. 

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2 hours ago, TaggedGalaxy said:

Answer his next facetime while getting pounded by a bear with a 10 incher and he will get the hint :swan:

:deadbanana2:
 

Spoiler

NAWT 10 inches :biblionny:

Spoiler

hot

Spoiler

:gaycat1:

 

 

 

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3 hours ago, Bones said:

and shet like that hallucinations and shet nah I mean right now Effi I think what you need to do is control your habitat to learn what is just happening rn fuqin shet can’t you hear that ugh

It’s no shade, but I didn’t understand any of this :thing:

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A lot of people with Autism are different. I got it and if a guy started ghosting me I move on

 

This man just seems clingy and creepy, i doubt its bc of hie autism just straight up tell him your not interested. 

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do you have any other personality trait beyond doing drugs and having sex :deadbanana4:

Edited by Bussea
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I’m on spectrum and I can be very clingy, I was ghosted+blocked by my ex before and had no idea why:deadbanana4:

BUT It’s all about the difficulty in reading social cues. Just deal with him like you would deal with any other person. Ghost them or explain them you’re not interested in them and there is no way you will be soon. Block them if u have to.

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If you've told him you need space and he's not respecting that, ghosting is your only option. I don't get why people in here are screaming about you needing to be direct when you've already tried that. Some of these posters have clearly never been endlessly messaged and called by a clingy guy.

 

I once briefly talked to someone at a club in grad school (very friendly, not flirty) and one of my classmates thought they were "matchmaking" by giving him my number :rip: Cut to weeks of this guy trying to call me, text me, DM me on Instagram, and message me on Grindr no matter what tactic I tried (sending texts like "oh wow" "nice" "damn" to try to cut off conversations, telling him directly that I was not interested, ghosting him, blocking etc.) 

 

Finally I blew the **** up on him when (after multiple unanswered messages from him), he sent me screenshots of three different wallets and asked me which one he should buy :rip: The next day, I very aggressively informed him that I was sitting at my grandmother's bedside at the hospital as she died while my phone was repeatedly vibrating from his stupid ******* texts :) That's what finally got him to stop.

 

Autistic or not, if someone isn't respecting your boundaries, that's not your problem. Tell him you're not interested one last time, then block him and forget about him if he keeps going 

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19 hours ago, Jack. said:

Everyone in here lecturing you as if they’re angels :rip: 

 

Bro just ghost his ass he will get the point eventually 

20 hours ago, dumbsparce said:

If he's competent enough to have 3somes, do drugs and use technological devices it sure as hell was within his comprehension that you didn't want much else with him. Not your fault he pushed you into taking the extreme measure.

 

2 hours ago, Vespertine said:

If you've told him you need space and he's not respecting that, ghosting is your only option. I don't get why people in here are screaming about you needing to be direct when you've already tried that. Some of these posters have clearly never been endlessly messaged and called by a clingy guy.

 

Autistic or not, if someone isn't respecting your boundaries, that's not your problem. Tell him you're not interested one last time, then block him and forget about him if he keeps going 

19 hours ago, TanjiroKamado said:

Why is OP getting so much backlash? Youve tried to talk to him and be nice about it but he wouldnt listen. Ghosting is the only thing you can do atp

Thanks guys , yall have put in words how I was feeling in my head about it. I feel less guilty now:rip:

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You guys need to grow some balls and stop ghosting people :rip:

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4 hours ago, Bacardo Royale said:

 

Thanks guys , yall have put in words how I was feeling in my head about it. I feel less guilty now:rip:

You’ve been clear in your communications, feel guilt and empathy for him ect.. like you’re good person boo don’t stress. 

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You should be honest, straightforward and polite.
Most probably he doesn't realise (at all!) that he's pushy with constant calls (not proceeding emotional information in a typical way is what autism spectrum disorders are about).
Some people with ASDs comprehend written information better, so, if he's still intrusive after conversation, just text him instead:

1. Explain that you enjoyed the night and fun with him.

2. But, as a drug fuelled sex addict, you personally don't want to make any deeper relations with your ONSs beyond singular encounter (and that's not his fault, that's just your twisted and/or damaged psyche).
3. Tell him that you find his continued attempts to contact you tiring and intrusive and that you want him to stop immediately.

You may also want to ask why he's trying to contact you first. Maybe the reason is banal (like... you forgot your buttplug, or he just wants to share with you his artistic photos of your prolapsed anus he took during sex or... sth as harmless)


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Edited by karma police
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