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Ghosted a guy with autism...


Bacardo Royale
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8 minutes ago, Bloodflowers. said:

Just say "sorry, i don't wanna hang out. I am only into drugs and sex and you deserve someone who can offer you something more than I do. Wish you all the best *inserts Lana Del Rey - The Other Woman"

screaming

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Ghosting in general is so lame, you're a grown ass adult, you can speak, you can write, etc. Why not let the other person know the reason why you don't think things will work out? :rip: 

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Hell I wish someone wanted to spend time with me

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19 minutes ago, Henry Torres said:

It's important to prioritize your own feelings and boundaries in any relationship, regardless of whether or not the other person has autism. If you feel uncomfortable with the level of contact and attention he is giving you, it is completely valid for you to set boundaries and communicate your needs to him. However, it is also important to be respectful and considerate in how you do this, as ghosting him may not be the most effective or kind way to handle the situation. It might be helpful for you to have a direct and honest conversation with him about how you are feeling and what you are comfortable with in terms of communication and time spent together. This can help him understand your perspective and may also give you a better understanding of how his autism may be impacting his behavior.

 

Some individuals with autism may have difficulty understanding social cues or interpreting the thoughts and feelings of others, which could potentially impact their ability to understand your boundaries and communication style. However, it is important to remember that each person with autism is unique and has their own strengths and challenges. It is not appropriate to make assumptions about someone's abilities or behavior based solely on their diagnosis. It would be better to have a direct and honest conversation with him.

/endthread

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Some of y’all need to learn how to have an adult conversation jfc, tell him this, and if he keeps contacting you after you told him to cool it and it makes you uncomfortable, just block his number :rip:

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Just tell him that you are not interested in having anything serious at the moment and move on :lakitu: At least give him an explanation

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23 minutes ago, Kimmo said:

So you’re telling us but not him? Sounds like you’re the problem… Hi, is you, the problem is you! 

 

21 minutes ago, AcidPrince said:

Sorry, but you are the problem. 

 

18 minutes ago, DonSiblon said:

You're trash for ghosting him. Give him some closure at least. 

 

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8 minutes ago, fountain said:

Why don’t you start asking yourself these questions instead. We live in a world where there are so many different ways to communicate thanks to social media and it takes literally less than a minute to text somebody. You could’ve given him the grace of that one minute and never have to see him again yet you’ve chosen to let him suffer and question what happened instead. At this point anybody behaving like this, like you, has the immaturity of an absolute child. You’re the problem here, grow up. 

I guess I didn't make it clear in OP but we had a conversation about it over the phone, I warned him that I may distance myself a little bit and for him not to be mad at me about it. Also I sent him a wall of text saying how much I appreciated him to soften the blow before I ghosted him. Anyway I appreciate everyone's answers whether you agree with me or not, I like to consider everyone's perspective

 

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Also I'm so annoyed rn, I replied to a bunch of yall and then closed the tab by accident before hitting send. Lost everything

 

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You know you aren’t  going to get any support in this right  :bibliahh:

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19 minutes ago, Limitless said:

DAMN! @Bacardo Royale you are getting ratio’d and you know you’re my good sl*tty sistren sjsbsksjsn

4 minutes ago, Katamari said:

You know you aren’t  going to get any support in this right  :bibliahh:

I did this to myself, the bedroom is not the only place I liked to be dragged

 

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26 minutes ago, Bloodflowers. said:

Just say "sorry, i don't wanna hang out. I am only into drugs and sex and you deserve someone who can offer you something more than I do. Wish you all the best *inserts Lana Del Rey - The Other Woman"

Basically this. Be direct but nice.

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it seems like he’s obsessed with you so just take a second…then say me too since im obsessed with me as much as you :WAP:

 

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Just be direct (as nicely as possible) even if you tell him you think it’s better not to talk anymore. It depends where he is on the spectrum but people with autism can take things very literally so if you didn’t make it fully clear perhaps to avoid hurting his feeling, he might have misunderstood. Ghosting is a pretty crappy thing to do regardless of whether someone is autistic or not.

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autistic men make THE best boyfriends. your loss

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28 minutes ago, Ice Cream Skies said:

I’m sort of in the same position, but with a guy who has bipolar. I haven’t ghosted, but it’s a hard situation to be in. I feel for you, OP.

Thank you, hope we can figure this out together :hug:

 

21 minutes ago, Archetype said:

You met this guy ONCE, and he's been hounding you every single day since despite telling him you need space?  You are not the first person he has ever hooked up with and will not be his last.  If he doesn't understand what "I need space" means, the only thing left for you to do is literally spell it out for him and tell him to stop contacting you, and block him if he doesn't let up.  I find it hard to believe he hasn't been in this situation with other guys before and there's only so much you can do, which, by the way, you have no responsibility or obligation to do.  

 

I'm all for approaching situations with kindness and sensitivity at first, but if it comes down to being harassed every night for hours, that's a problem and you need to start being more forceful so they get the picture.

Right I thought the thread would get more responses like this, but I guess people thought I ghosted him without warning or explanation. Most one night stands I never speak to again which is why I don't know how to deal with a situation like this. It's not like we were dating, it was just good sex and good conversation. But I'm not looking to make more friends atm. I'm considering being more forceful but I don't wanna hurt him ,  it's easier for me to ghost him ...

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43 minutes ago, Bloodflowers. said:

Just say "sorry, i don't wanna hang out. I am only into drugs and sex and you deserve someone who can offer you something more than I do. Wish you all the best *inserts Lana Del Rey - The Other Woman"

He's more into drugs and sex than I sweetie, kind of why I'm avoiding him too. It's more a *shades of cool* situation

 

35 minutes ago, yellowflame said:

I mean obviously ghosting isn't the best thing to do but damn y'all are acting like the OP dragged this man through the mud and spit in his face :deadbanana2:. I'm sorry but someone being that clingy after meeting once is just not right.

Haha thank you, yeah I'm a lil surprised at the response. I felt the need to thread it cause I never experience a one night stand being this clingy :rip: If he's like this already, I feel like it would be unbearable if we actually became close friends or boyfriends

 

 

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48 minutes ago, CrimsonX said:

What kind of drugs? 
 

ot: op you should let him down easy.

MDMA/ Molly

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If he's competent enough to have 3somes, do drugs and use technological devices it sure as hell was within his comprehension that you didn't want much else with him. Not your fault he pushed you into taking the extreme measure.

Edited by dumbsparce
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35 minutes ago, Bacardo Royale said:

I did this to myself, the bedroom is not the only place I liked to be dragged

 

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nnnnnn :deadbanana2:

Spoiler

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As an autistic person. Someone ghosting me would make me more than sad. I have troubles with understanding social cues or why people act the way they do when I'm around them. Sometimes I'm left with the wrong mindset, for example, I can get convinced someone hates me even tho that's not the truth. For me, the best thing is being honest and direct, that way it's easier for me to understand the state of a relationship. I can't assure you it's the same situation for the guy you're talking about. But I do believe ghosting him would be pretty damaging to him. 

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7 minutes ago, dumbsparce said:

If he's competent enough to have 3somes, do drugs and use technological devices it sure as hell was within his comprehension that you didn't want much else with him. Not your fault he pushed you into taking the extreme measure.

This doesn't make sense. Some autistic people are capable of doing a lot of things while having trouble doing other things. 

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2 minutes ago, GentleEarthquake said:

This doesn't make sense. Some autistic people are capable of doing a lot of things while having trouble doing other things. 

Does that include engaging in chemsex with strangers but not understanding when they tell you to back off a bit?

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