I've been sitting on this thread for a bit, mainly out of fear of offending the north west gays with mustaches, but I don't think I can refrain from opening this can of worms.

 

I spent a lot of years convincing myself Bjork was a genius - and her music was iconic and groundbreaking, and of a higher intelligence. I came to this conclusion because a.) the pretentious music gays i usually am fully on board with - believe this of Bjork, and b.) I was really basing my opinion on a couple of songs that are actually good.

 

But I always remember I don't actually like her when I see actual fans discussing her albums and discography and I'm over here like, Vespertine is pure garbage and I really couldn't match any songs with song names except her most popular. ANYWAYS, I've broken down the reasons why I think Bjork sucks ass below:

 

1.) The few great songs in her discog sound nothing like her actual catalog.

 

 

Maybe you're like me, and Joga was your frame of reference. The song is pretty spectacular, once you get over her usual grunting and moaning of syllables, the production immaculate, the song is beautiful and pretty timeless.

 

Homogenic is NONE of those things.

 

The album is like an hour of no melody, bjork grunts, and nintendo wii music. Is there someone out there who actually enjoys 5 years? My nephew, a toddler, has a 3 note plastic keyboard that makes better songs than this.

 

 

 

2.) She's not as influential as you think.

 

I feel like Bjork is always credited for the indie/singer-songwriter girlies but I don't think that checks out. Even the current "Avant Garde" artists of today have stronger ties to the likes of Kate Bush, an artist who actually broke the mold in the 70s/80s, instead of Bjork, who started in the 90's. There's actually a mile long list of artists more influential in the 90's than Bjork, here's some for example.

 

Fiona Apple is more influential than Bjork.

Alanis Morrisette is more influential than Bjork.

Vanessa Carleton is more influential than Bjork.

Natalie Imbruglia is more influential than Bjork.

S Club 7 is more influential than Bjork.

 

And the list goes on and on.

 

3.) Her only listenable album is Post, released in 1995.

 

 

 

 

And thats unfortunate, huh? You'd think after 12 attempts over 4 decades that ANYTHING else would be a solid effort. Giving credit where credit is due that she has remained a full time musician for so long, but I’m gagged there are people who can listen to any album outside of Post, and maybe Debut, and actually enjoy it start to finish? 

 

 

Obviously, that is just my opinion. So I'd like to reopen my mind to Bjork and hear from actual fans of her work:

 

What is the appeal of Bjork?
Am I neglecting some genius tracks that might be buried in her discography of pings and pongs and mating calls?

What do you think is her best album?

 

 

 

 

I will pray for you and your lack of taste

 

She is not for everyone but she is a true original and saying Vespertine is garbage I just I- "Hidden Place" alone is spectacular, nothing else in music has ever sounded like it.

 

Her music is the primal childlike scream of her small nation of Iceland put through a gritty kaleidoscopic filter of broken up beats, shuffles and crunches

Her first four albums and most recent two are legendary I'm sorry you feel this way. And the way you tried to discredit her influence in the 90s like she wasn't one of the trip-hop pioneers 

Edited June 15, 20224 yr by Lachlan

All I will say is that Post is her best album yes

Unlistenable “music”

All I will say is that Post is her weakest album yes 

2 minutes ago, Protocol said:

I will pray for you and your lack of taste

 

She is not for everyone but she is a true original and saying Vespertine is garbage I just I- "Hidden Place" alone is spectacular, nothing else in music has ever sounded like it.

 

Her music is the primal childlike scream of her small nation of Iceland put through a gritty kaleidoscopic filter of broken up beats, shuffles and crunches

this is part of my problem because bjork fans describing her music is 10x more interesting and poetic than what I'm actually hearing.

Nah, you're just into more easy listening pop, which is fine, and you're entitled to your wrong opinion 

 

And Vespertine is her best album 

Edited June 15, 20224 yr by Egon Schiele

2 minutes ago, Lachlan said:

Her first four albums and most recent two are legendary I'm sorry you feel this way.

Utopia is carried by Arca and Vulva or whatever is a straight-to-the-trash kind of album.

 

 

 

She’s not a songstress. It’s an Emperor’s New Clothes situation among music snobs. 

 

1 minute ago, fauxtography said:

this is part of my problem because bjork fans describing her music is 10x more interesting and poetic than what I'm actually hearing.

That's because it IS interesting and poetic

 

 

because she has 0 actual talent and just tries to be as avant garde and experimental as possible to cover it up and charli xcx gays eat it up

1 minute ago, Keter said:

She’s not a songstress. It’s an Emperor’s New Clothes situation among music snobs. 

This is very rich coming from someone with Mariah Carey in their avatar who has re-written "Dreamlover" about 8 times to be a different lead single for each of her albums which also have the exact same album cover

i tried listening to her biggest songs and i couldn’t get past 10 seconds  

1 minute ago, sourtwink said:

because she has 0 actual talent and just tries to be as avant garde and experimental as possible to cover it up and charli xcx gays eat it up

It takes talent to make interesting, experimental music, but people who only listen to basic teen pop wouldn't get it

 

7 minutes ago, West Coast said:

Unlistenable “music”

I came here to say this. 

 

2 minutes ago, Protocol said:

That's because it IS interesting and poetic

 

 

All is Full of Love gets a pass for being on Joga but its 2 minutes too long.

Electric chair babes

I used to think the same until I popped an edible, went on a 5 mile hike in the Forest while it was snowing and listened to Homogenic and Vespertine as there was a winter wonderland around me. It turned me into a fan. I suggest you do the same 

thankfully you'll all be dead soon while bjork's music will live on forever 

Post her only listenable album? @theblackestday get in!!!

5 minutes ago, sourtwink said:

because she has 0 actual talent and just tries to be as avant garde and experimental as possible to cover it up and charli xcx gays eat it up

Girl bye Bjork has been an acclaimed iconic artist since before the charli xcx gays were even born

liking Big Time Sensuality should be a requirement to be gay

3 minutes ago, Taylucifer said:

i tried listening to her biggest songs and i couldn’t get past 10 seconds  

Buut but aCcLaiM!!11 and listening to her makes you cool and edgy.