Wait you don't know who told the ex the news of you and your man dating? Are you sure the ex really knows? Like have the ex and yourself talked about things? Maybe this is a conversation to be had one on one with your bf's ex.

 

And if it's just the two of them going out on dates that you could be going on then I'd be pissed, ex or not. Not saying a partner shouldn't be allowed to do things w/ friends, but a lake day sounds like a date, unless it's a big group of friends going too.

 

You're very reasonable & just need to express all these concerns to the parties involved imo. There's a such thing as emotions cheating: "Emotional cheating occurs when a person in a committed relationship develops a close emotional bond with someone outside of the relationship, sharing personal thoughts, feelings, and secrets that would typically be reserved for their partner."

 

You look at this from the perspective of my ex who is my bff, we tell each other literally everything. We know who each other likes, why they dumped the last one, what funny thing happened during sex with whoever, etc. Which obviously we're different and have different experiences relating to those relationships in the first place, but I think that would be more inclined to what ex's being friends should be. Like why did he not tell him exactly when y'all started dating? I would think he's keeping him in his back pocket in case y'all don't work out if not actually cheating. 

 

Good luck, babes! Have a talk with him & then one w/ the ex

5 minutes ago, taemin said:

there are threads made for albums way more boring tbf!

Drag Delirium.

 

On topic, I think this can be a red flag if the reason is your bf still has feelings for the ex-situationship. I'd just talk to him, ask him how he feels and also ask why he did not want to tell the ex-situationship about your relationship. 

4 minutes ago, sha-nasty said:

Wait you don't know who told the ex the news of you and your man dating? Are you sure the ex really knows? Like have the ex and yourself talked about things? Maybe this is a conversation to be had one on one with your bf's ex.

 

And if it's just the two of them going out on dates that you could be going on then I'd be pissed, ex or not. Not saying a partner shouldn't be allowed to do things w/ friends, but a lake day sounds like a date, unless it's a big group of friends going too.

 

You're very reasonable & just need to express all these concerns to the parties involved imo. There's a such thing as emotions cheating: "Emotional cheating occurs when a person in a committed relationship develops a close emotional bond with someone outside of the relationship, sharing personal thoughts, feelings, and secrets that would typically be reserved for their partner."

 

You look at this from the perspective of my ex who is my bff, we tell each other literally everything. We know who each other likes, why they dumped the last one, what funny thing happened during sex with whoever, etc. Which obviously we're different and have different experiences relating to those relationships in the first place, but I think that would be more inclined to what ex's being friends should be. Like why did he not tell him exactly when y'all started dating? I would think he's keeping him in his back pocket in case y'all don't work out if not actually cheating. 

 

Good luck, babes! Have a talk with him & then one w/ the ex

I don't really know his ex - we were just together in the concert because we both happened to be going and otherwise his ex would have gone alone. 
 

This is so far the most insightful reply here so thank you for that  I'll put your words to use 

3 minutes ago, taemin said:

I don't really know his ex - we were just together in the concert because we both happened to be going and otherwise his ex would have gone alone. 
 

This is so far the most insightful reply here so thank you for that  I'll put your words to use 

You're welcome! Just do what you feel is right. And my real advice is no one is worth a headache, especially one that could turn into heartache. So honestly you could kick him to the curb and start over with someone more willing to celebrate love instead of hiding it from an ex 

Quote

in February we went to a concert and his ex situationship tagged along and we had to pretend we weren't dating because I found out he still didn't know about this –

You aren't being unreasonable. Matter of fact, this part makes me think you have the patience of a saint. If it was a situationship, it's not like they were actually committed, why would he need so much time to break the news to him? 

This man ain't even really an ex, but an ex situationship... Am I correct? Damn...

It's actually really weird and whatever you may be feeling is totally justified.

He's trying to make the ex jealous. I'd be furious, film a sex tape (preferably with the ex) and send it to him. **** that hoe

1 minute ago, dumbsparce said:

He's trying to make the ex jealous. I'd be furious, film a sex tape (preferably with the ex) and send it to him. **** that hoe

EHDNSNSDNSNSNSNAAN i mean if that was the case he should've told the ex he was dating since the beginning! 

1 minute ago, taemin said:

EHDNSNSDNSNSNSNAAN i mean if that was the case he should've told the ex he was dating since the beginning! 

No bc then there's a chance the ex would have perceived it as him "moving on" and he wouldn't be inclined to potentially approach him again. Not clearing up what's going on with the "new guy" (aka you) makes the blood boil even more. I've been there, on both ends 

Leave his ass!!

That boyfriend of yours seems like a shady snake. 

 

Spoiler

Start dating someone else 

 

Edited July 1, 20251 yr by alexrex

Yes HUGE red flag. Sorry but he's obviously still messing around with that other guy.

 

Shameless gay!

He still has feelings for his ex situationship and he doesn't want him to know that he is dating someone else because he wants to keep the door open for him.

 

I'm so sorry.

 

1 minute ago, Kavish said:

He still has feelings for his ex situationship and he doesn't want him to know that he is dating someone else because he wants to keep the door open for him.

 

I'm so sorry.

 

Spot on, it really is as simple as this

Shady af. Start the car girl. 

ALSO

 

The fact he found out from a third party means the EX Situationship brought up your boyfriend and someone had to go "you know he's dating ____ right?"

 

Shady shady!

going 2 the lake together ? 2 do what ? throw rocks in the water?   it might be time 2 board ship  

 

& find out who that 3rd party is  cause with the info provided its probably just your boyfriend lying & trying to save face 

No sis, you're in your right to think that way. It's very weird that he hasn't told this guy that he's dating you, talk to him about this situation because it seems that he still has feelings for him and he's keepin the other guy around just in case so tell him what you feel before things start getting more serious.

1 hour ago, taemin said:

ok sorry for the lack of info ffffffff

 

they were always a situationship but my boyfriend wanted something more and the other guy didn't so they decided to just be friends ever since 

he shows no signs he still likes the other guy but I don't know until what point I can trust my own judgement 

and he lets everybody know we're dating - just not that one guy, which is why this is weird 

So why would he be afraid to tell the truth? That makes no sense.

 

You're not unreasonable here.

1 hour ago, taemin said:

So around a year ago I started dating this guy and we're now living together.

 

I've known he was friends with one of his ex situationships which I was okay with but months later I found out he didn't tell him he was dating, which I was slightly weirded out about.

 

in February we went to a concert and his ex situationship tagged along and we had to pretend we weren't dating because I found out he still didn't know about this – I was slightly ticked off by this but I was okay with my boyfriend needing more time to tell a guy he once had feelings for that he was dating. 
 

now he found out my boyfriend is dating via a third party that I still am not aware of (it's July and my boyfriend never told him) and they're going for an afternoon in the lake tomorrow, which I don't know if I'm comfortable with honestly.

 

Is it ok that I feel like this? am I being unreasonable? it's nice that he know knows we're dating but the fact it wasn't my boyfriend telling him after almost a year is really making me unsettled 

Your boyfriend is cheating on you with his ex. 
 

Why would you move in when he can't even tell his ex he's dating you? Omg

 

My heart goes out to you, if you need to PM to talk I'm here for you, I hope you can dissolve the lease amicably. But this relationship is done. Next time you need stricter boundaries. Don't let these gays sell you on open relationships and maintaining contact with exes, because that life gets messy really fast. 

he prioritized his "ex situationship"'s feelings over yours by not telling him you're dating. this is disgusting. tell them to go be together if they like each other so much

1 hour ago, tost1 said:

You live together and he's hiding it from an ex? BABE RUN

Yes this is the only right answer

he still wants more from the other guy and didn't want it to look like he had moved on by telling him about you

The "ex" finds out about you from a third party because your boyfriend couldn't even manage to be honest himself? And his immediate next step is to go to the lake with the very person he spent a year lying to about your existence? This isn't just "uncomfortable." This is a neon sign, flashing "BETRAYAL" in bold, angry letters. He's not just "not telling him." He's actively maintaining a shadow relationship, keeping his options open, and making you look like a fool in the process.

Not at all