I've been reflecting on growing up gay in my late teens and early 20s and realizing how often I ended up in situations where it took forever to meet a close female friend's boyfriend because they'd worry he had some level of discomfort about me being gay. Sometimes it was mild like them worrying theyMe assume I'd be loud or flamboyant until coming to their senses or being the type to be like "Just don't hit on me and we're good" unprompted, sometimes it was weirder like one guy genuinely worrying my sexuality was a cover and that his girlfriend was cheating (lmao), and other times it was just straight-up not wanting to meet me because he didn't like gay people. A lot of the time, once we actually met and had a few drinks, they'd loosen up and admit they were initially wary because of stereotypes or how they were raised, which I could at least respect since they were self-aware about it and apologized if it felt like we started off on the wrong foot because of their preconceived notions about me due to my sexuality. Unfortunately, I've also had the opposite experience where a boyfriend was polite to my face, clearly a bit uncomfortable, and then I'd later hear they didn't want to be around a gay person at all once they broke up (which in turn made me bad at my friend bc why did you continue to stay with him knowing he hated me bc of an immutable trait like me being gay?) Now that I'm getting older and closer to 30 than my early 20s, I can already see where this goes long-term. It feels inevitable that I'll end up in a situation where a female friend is married with kids and I get hit with something like "I don't mind that you're gay at all and love you, but my husband is more traditional, so maybe don't mention your partner around the kids because he'll get mad." I've already seen it happen firsthand with my sister, who's a lesbian, as her best friend of almost 20 years was always very liberal and pro-gay but after getting with a more religious, conservative guy she slowly shifted and suddenly my sister's relationship became something awkward that had to be tiptoed around because of him, to the point where they cut ties for good after my sister asked her former friend if she'd want her and her wife at her wedding only for her to blow up and accuse my sister of trying to say her husband dictates her belief system (which she claimed he doesn't but we all know it's the contrary lmao). The reason I'm thinking about this now is because I'm really close with a former parent whose kids I taught at a daycare and we've stayed in touch even after I switched centers. She's always been kind, supportive, and never once given me any weird vibes about being gay. She even congratulated me when I got with my boyfriend and hearts my stories of me going to drag brunches and **** like that, very socially liberal at least from my assumption. But her husband is VERY religious and very "alpha male" dudebro and I genuinely have no idea how he'd feel about me in a more personal setting, especially something like being invited to my wedding in a few years because I'm obviously going to invite her and intend to give a plus-one invite to be polite (esp as all the moms from my former daycare job are getting plus-one invites as well), but part of me pictures her coming to the wedding alone which would be upsetting as he's always with her at every event, be it wedding or party, I see her at. Curious if other people here have dealt with this kind of dynamic where the female friend is fully accepting but the boyfriend or husband is the wildcard and how you navigate that without it turning into something uncomfortable or limiting your own life.