How long have you waited before asking someone that you've been seeing 'what are we'? Is there like a set amount of time or dates you go on before you define a relationship with a guy?

3 months

6-9 months.

You ask "what are we"? 

Usually if you want the person to be oficial, here you have to as themif they want to be your bf/gf. Usually after 2 or 3 months together. 

It's not about time it's about feelings and logic. Is this person worth it? Am I ready?

You don't. As an adult, you should know whether this person is worth a lengthy courting period or not by date 3.

 

Most people can only keep up the facade they crafted by half a year, you should have as many warning signs that they're not worth keeping by then if you're a stubborn person.

 

But ultimately, most people are piss-poor communicators and even more desperate than they should be due to social pressure and low self esteem.

 

Men I've seen are told where I want to be and what I want from my partner on date 1, not conversation 1 or 2, 3 etc(like so many people have convinced themselves is okay.) Of course deceivers will lie and try to buy time to get what they're looking for from you(some want sex, some want a therapist, some want an opportunity they believe you can offer and some just plain don't want to be alone) but it's your responsibility to make sure that while enjoying yourself and getting to know someone, you don't waste your time.

 

Tl:Dr - don't bother. Adults should be operating on effectiveness based on results. It should come up naturally when you or them believe that you both are ready to take the other as a viable partner.

I guess in my situation we've been on 5-6 dates at this point, which is pretty new for me. I've never seen a guy so consistently. Usually by the second date I've found a reason to not be interested.  I actually like this person I've been seeing, and while I don't know if I want to be his boyfriend yet... I like that we've been moving slowly... I do want to know he also feels things are moving in the right direction.

Whenever you feel like it tbh

like 3ish months

My bf waited 3 days, and it was a no brainer for me  Sometimes you just know 

If you feel it can be something serious, you both just know