Better Mistakes Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 (edited) 33 minutes ago, fountain said: @Better Mistakes - You Have Changed Me “Ain’t it funny that you hurt me and yet, I’m the one here who’s changed” OUCH. That line hit hard, damn. I think this is definitely my favourite entry of yours so far. The song is insanely relatable, I mean I’m pretty sure everybody has felt themselves in a position similar to this before, and you’ve done a really good job of taking that emotion and creating a song out of it, so great job. I also think this is the entry that has shown off your writing the most so far, I would love if in the future rounds you could attempt something like this again because I really enjoyed seeing your writing flourish like this, that like I quoted specifically was a total revelation but there were also many more in the song which themselves were nice. Overall I think you’ve shown some huge growth here, I think you should be proud of having written this song and I’m definitely hoping to see you higher up on the rankings this round, you deserve it Not the single I cared the least about having my best review so far I will say though, it has inspired me to revisit and work on writing lyrics with a bit more “depth” than the usual bops I write. And like all my songs that I write, that was one take. Thank you @fountain!! Edited June 4, 2022 by Better Mistakes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OreGuy Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 31 minutes ago, fountain said: @OreGuy - Simple As Red This feels like such a huge growth! I think this is the most poetic song I have ever read from you. I really, really enjoyed reading it. I think overall it’s a very touching song but the verses and particularly the outro blew me away, your writing in those sections truly excelled and I think you should be very proud of what you have written here. The outro specifically just made me so happy, I mean not from the lyrics themselves because obviously they are very emotional, but your writing there was just so good, it felt very confessional but also very wise and understanding, it can be hard to write in that style as laying things down like that can come across messy because of the amount of emotion but you executed it perfectly and that section just left me so impressed. I would love to see you working with this style again because I absolutely loved it. I think you should be really proud of this song, you’ve done a fantastic job with this challenge. Thank you so much And iirc, this is like the first time I tried to deliberately submit something really poetic in any PH/DH season bc personally, I wanted to always convey things straight to the point, I even tried to give it a nudge/excuse this song during the "Seems like I'm rambling but it's like this every time/Trying to be poetic to hide the imposter behind" line But I guess this works good, and I appreciate the feedback a lot so I'm gonna try to pump submissions in the vein of this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted June 4, 2022 Author Share Posted June 4, 2022 34 minutes ago, Julia Fox said: Coming for last place I fear Sorry queen, it didn’t resonate with me as much as your other work but I know you will bounce back next round Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted June 4, 2022 Author Share Posted June 4, 2022 37 minutes ago, Better Mistakes said: Not the single I cared the least about having my best review so far I will say though, it has inspired me to revisit and work on writing lyrics with a bit more “depth” than the usual bops I write. And like all my songs that I write, that was one take. Thank you @fountain!! Nothing wrong with wanting to write bops, this was definitely refreshing though even if you appreciate it less yourself. I’d absolutely encourage you to explore writing in this style more, maybe once you have and become more comfortable with it you might care more for it. Now that you’ve tried to once you can at least keep it in mind for the future and help diversify your writing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted June 4, 2022 Author Share Posted June 4, 2022 37 minutes ago, OreGuy said: Thank you so much And iirc, this is like the first time I tried to deliberately submit something really poetic in any PH/DH season bc personally, I wanted to always convey things straight to the point, I even tried to give it a nudge/excuse this song during the "Seems like I'm rambling but it's like this every time/Trying to be poetic to hide the imposter behind" line But I guess this works good, and I appreciate the feedback a lot so I'm gonna try to pump submissions in the vein of this. I’ve liked all your submissions this game but I definitely think this was my personal favourite, I really would encourage you to explore this more poetic side to your writing more! It was strong and I think this style suited you well. Not that you need to change your writing at all, but exploring other styles like this can benefit and strengthen your writing and I think in this case it really did Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Better Mistakes Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 20 minutes ago, fountain said: Nothing wrong with wanting to write bops, this was definitely refreshing though even if you appreciate it less yourself. I’d absolutely encourage you to explore writing in this style more, maybe once you have and become more comfortable with it you might care more for it. Now that you’ve tried to once you can at least keep it in mind for the future and help diversify your writing! I may just do. I wrote an album during one of the lockdowns called deja Vu that was supposed to be my sour moment, so this has definitely inspired me to look to it again and strike more of a balance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tylerbv Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 The overwhelming positive reviews I’m not sure what to expect. It’s my most personal of the songs so far, but admittedly my weakest imagery-wise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DatChickDoe Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 1 hour ago, fountain said: @DatChickDoe - Days Spill on Like Blood So you’re actually like nine words short of 500, but that’s very minor so it won’t be anything worth penalising in my opinion, but it should be noted. Your song is obviously extremely timely and very inspired by recent events, and the truth is it can be very hard with songs tackling themes of this nature especially when they are so fresh in the mind and raw. That said, I think you did a very good job with it. While it can be hard and all of those things, I think what you created here was very eloquent and quite the statement piece. It’s the type of thing that I can hear read out as performance art, at a protest or something. It’s powerful. The verse about the Buffalo shooting was particularly moving, and I think structurally it worked well as the whole song kind of built up to that moment, and then afterwards you have the verses which are more about reflection, and I thought that was a really smart choice. Ultimately, I think you’ve done a wonderful job, sure it’s a few words short but the song is very hard hitting, and I have to say it’s amazing seeing another huge leap in growth with you, you should certainly be proud. I am hoping to see you in that top ten this time! Thank you so much for your feedback and for the time you invest in reviewing. I am such a goober for falling short. It was a very therapeutic writing session. The theme this week was great. This week I am going to attempt to forgo the rhyming I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted June 4, 2022 Author Share Posted June 4, 2022 9 minutes ago, DatChickDoe said: Thank you so much for your feedback and for the time you invest in reviewing. I am such a goober for falling short. It was a very therapeutic writing session. The theme this week was great. This week I am going to attempt to forgo the rhyming I think. Thank you I was really hoping that this would be the case with the challenge and it could possibly inspire songs / writing experiences like this, and looking at the submissions I’m really glad we went with it. It’s the fewest we have so far but they are definitely the strongest in my opinion, so I’m really grateful to everybody who embraced this challenge and tried something new. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted June 4, 2022 Author Share Posted June 4, 2022 19 minutes ago, Tylerbv said: The overwhelming positive reviews I’m not sure what to expect. It’s my most personal of the songs so far, but admittedly my weakest imagery-wise. To be fair imagery is not everything and I don’t think your song required it, it’s personal story and the emotion presented was able to stand on its own in my opinion. Imagery might even have taken away from it and acted as a distraction, so I thought the way you executed the song was perfect for what it was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted June 4, 2022 Author Share Posted June 4, 2022 (edited) Happy Pride Month! This round we want to celebrate pride month, specifically looking at all of the lovely colours of the rainbow. So much of media, including music, is from the perspective of heteronormativity and lacks much needed representation, and we want to absolutely go against this with the round. We want you to write a song that is inspired by your own unique queer identity, and you can take this in any direction you want, whether that is looking at the beautiful sides of being queer, or the hardships of being queer. We very specifically are NOT looking for pride anthem type songs - we do not want you to write the next Born This Way. Instead, we are hoping that this challenge will let you personally write about and be inspired by your identity, ATRL is a diverse site and we would love to hear all of your different experiences and stories of being queer, what has made you the proud queer person you are today and your outlook on queer life. For any players who do not identify under part of the queer umbrella, we would instead like you to write a song offering an outsider’s perspective on the queer community. Ultimately this is a celebratory round, we want to hear about and give the opportunity to empower all of you and your experiences, your lives and your identities, specifically through the lens of the ongoing pride month. We look forward to a beautiful display of queerness. Judge's Tips: Write what you know, write about your own life experiences and your own identity. We are all unique in our own ways and we hope to see this shine in your songs, as already stated we don’t want a generic pride anthem but rather something that represents you and your own queerness. It may help to share any additional information that you are willing and comfortable to about the background of your song while submitting your entry, especially on a personal round like this, to give us the best chance of resonating with your writing and your stories. Songs due via Google Form by Thursday June 9th 11:59PM EDT @GentleDance @Prisoner @Legend E @Remmy @8thPrince @Achilles. @☆lex @Hanami-Blossom @RobDeWittBukater @hurricane326 @Hug @Arrows @Jackson @ughgabriel @Euterpe @Tylerbv @EpicSongFan @luckystrike @OreGuy @Augmented @boubour @TruGemini @Jessie @Julia Fox @Astro @JoeAg @mxtthewdelrey @DatChickDoe @Better Mistakes @Lorenzo22 @Insanity @D e v o n @Speezy @Obsession @Overprotected @Blue. @Kunst Happy writing! Edited June 9, 2022 by fountain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Achilles. Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 Oop. The way I called it! 1 minute ago, fountain said: For any players who do not identify under part of the queer umbrella, we would instead like you to write a song offering an outsider’s perspective on the queer community. LMAO if this was me I would simply bull**** a song about being a *** hag or questioning my sexuality. What the hell does an “outsider’s perspective on the queer community” look like? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeAg Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 (edited) i’m so sorry i’m gonna submit the one that’s overdue in a few hours i feel really bad that i’ve been taking so long on it, this week has f*cked me up in a lot of ways and i’ve been so tired from classes Edited June 4, 2022 by JoeAg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Into The Void Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 (edited) Some people on here are not queer what should they write about? Lol @fountain Not me I'm gay but not everyone is LGBT Edited June 4, 2022 by Insanity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prisoner Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 Y'all really want me to continue the sad depressing vibe huh well I'm on it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tylerbv Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 Welp this one won’t go well. I’m out and open, but I never discuss my sexuality Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GentleDance Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 3 minutes ago, Prisoner said: Y'all really want me to continue the sad depressing vibe huh well I'm on it This Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Into The Void Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 3 minutes ago, Tylerbv said: Welp this one won’t go well. I’m out and open, but I never discuss my sexuality Hmmm i never do really r we supposed to talk about our gay experience? I guess I got some ideas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted June 4, 2022 Author Share Posted June 4, 2022 4 minutes ago, Achilles. said: Oop. The way I called it! 4 minutes ago, Achilles. said: LMAO if this was me I would simply bull**** a song about being a *** hag or questioning my sexuality. What the hell does an “outsider’s perspective on the queer community” look like? I mean for example there were multiple people who wrote songs with social commentary for round three, and those are songs written from outsider perspectives as they are written about events that people were not actually present for, but still might have an effect either directly or just emotionally. There are plenty of ways you could tackle this round as a non-queer person, for example you could write a song about having a queer relative, or friend, or write a song overall about the discrimination the community faces from the perspective of somebody who doesn’t have to deal with the same things. But this is ATRL so I am in doubt that we are going to see anything like this… it is more so just out of consideration. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted June 4, 2022 Author Share Posted June 4, 2022 9 minutes ago, JoeAg said: i’m so sorry i’m gonna submit the one that’s overdue in a few hours i feel really bad that i’ve been taking so long on it, this week has f*cked me up in a lot of ways and i’ve been so tired from classes It’s okay, we are still in the midst of reviews and it’s understandable that life can hit like this, thank you for still trying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackson Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 are there any cis straights here? not to out them but Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted June 4, 2022 Author Share Posted June 4, 2022 10 minutes ago, Insanity said: Some people on here are not queer what should they write about? Lol @fountain Not me I'm gay but not everyone is LGBT There’s a part touching on that in the challenge post. 4 minutes ago, Insanity said: Hmmm i never do really r we supposed to talk about our gay experience? I guess I got some ideas Pretty much, yes. Just a song where the central theme involves your queer identity. 10 minutes ago, Tylerbv said: Welp this one won’t go well. I’m out and open, but I never discuss my sexuality Well… you could write about exactly that exploring why you don’t discuss it? Just an idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted June 4, 2022 Author Share Posted June 4, 2022 15 minutes ago, Prisoner said: Y'all really want me to continue the sad depressing vibe huh well I'm on it 12 minutes ago, GentleDance said: This It doesn’t have to be sad there are many amazing and beautiful things about being queer. Even if your own experience has predominantly been one of hardship, you could still choose to look at the positive side to go against this. Ultimately it is up to you, though. Shine however you want Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DatChickDoe Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 23 minutes ago, Achilles. said: Oop. The way I called it! LMAO if this was me I would simply bull**** a song about being a *** hag or questioning my sexuality. What the hell does an “outsider’s perspective on the queer community” look like? Sexuality is on a spectrum. One person can have 0% interest in the same sex or only a sexual interest on the same sex. A ? straight person and a ? gay person can be best friends. You could write a song from the standpoint of the heterosexual friend and then watching the struggles. A sibling could be homosexual for someone who identifies as heterosexual. It could be a piece encouraging their sibling to come out and offering their support. Go beyond what is the obvious approach and look at it from different angles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julia Fox Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 (edited) i have my song for pride ready… wrote it in just 8 minutes and it was fun! later I’m gonna revisit and change some things but is IT! It’s called Things I Did When I Was Little and it was written with this song in mind Edited June 4, 2022 by Julia Fox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.png.5c069777b1ab1d704a32825806767213.png)
Recommended Posts