discussion The Depression Lounge

[Joyride]

feeling like **** atm, nothing's lifting me up

[Darkgalord]

Thinking about the future, life in general, paralyzes me with fear and anxiety. I get engulfed by this feeling of hopelessness. 

Humans are evil. 

[monologueNacafe]

I hate everything 

[monologueNacafe]

I'm turning 32 this month and life is pure ****. I feel like a failure.

[stars]

My life is a living hell. I can't enjoy anything and the slightest things piss me off. When will it end 

[JoeAg]

tomorrow morning, at 10 am my time, I will have my first ever family therapy session. it will be me, my parents, and some therapist they've met who I don't know. what I do know about him though is that he's my parents' exact demographic to a T. he's late 60s/early 70s, jewish, from the east coast, and from a big family like mine. we're going to be talking about my struggle to find independence. what REALLY sucks is that last tuesday I had a facetime with my parents that was lowkey traumatizing. I'm 27 and at this point I'm DONE with having my mother traumatize me over and over about how much of a disappointment I am compared to my four older siblings. it is exhausting and does NO one any favors. she mentioned that this therapist mentioned "group homes" I could potentially be put in for adults who can't take care of themselves. I CAN F*CKING TAKE CARE OF MYSELF~!!‽?‽‽‽?? like are you F*CKING kidding me? yes, I'm unemployed and having a terribly hard time finding work, and in part I'm sure that's due to having a gap in my resume, but I do have a plan. my best friend and I are planning on moving to Philadelphia at the end of the summer and sharing a cheap two bedroom and working in the city. my mom really doesn't want that for me, but in my opinion too f*cking bad. like girl. I don't know how this session is going to go, but if it doesn't go super well then I might honestly find it in my best interest to distance myself from her for a few years after I move. I'm just done with the constant butting heads of our personalities and I'm thankful she's helping me out financially but that has ONLY been with rent. for food, for everything else in my life, my best friend and I are relying on each other and scraping together our own funds to survive. foodstamps help every so often but I think I'm overdue and there's some complications so next month I might not even have any. this sucks SO much and to top it off my sleep schedule is godawful so I don't even know if I'm going to be able to sleep tonight and might have to just pull an allnighter and join the call in the morning. it sucks so much but I have other sh*t to do tomorrow. I just wanna cry.

[monologueNacafe]

🥺

[JoeAg]

I love my best friend so much but he's pissing me off a lot lately. we're planning on moving back to the east coast together in the fall (we're both from there) and we're going on a trip to NJ (his home state) later this month and this weekend we're gonna go hang with his great aunt at her nice ass house on the other side of colorado. but anyway, he's been falling asleep on me and cancelling our day to day plans nonstop lately. he falls asleep when he promised earlier in the day that we could go to the gym, he cancels on a movie or a shopping trip all the f*cking time. part of me gets it cause he has a job and I don't but he only works like 20 hours a week and idk. it shouldn't exhaust him as much as it does. I kind of think that the gym must mean something different to me than it does to him. me, I have barely anything going on in my f*cking life right now and i'm dirt poor and unemployed. the gym is my escape and it gives me something to focus on and keep me feeling somewhat okay about myself. i have a gym in my apartment complex too but it's not nearly as good as the planet fitness we go to. I also don't have a car, and he was kind enough to let me drive his car twice to the gym in the past two weeks when he's been too sleepy/lazy to go. unfortunately, i scraped his car on a light pole while pulling out of his apartment's lot two nights ago, so i think he doesn't want me driving his car alone anymore for awhile. it f*cking sucks cause it's 3 am here and I'm currently walking home from his place (a 50ish minute walk i don't mind) and i'm just sad. I don't even want to workout in my basement gym when i get home. I don't JUST hang out with him cause he has a car, we're like two peas in a pod and i love him dearly. it just makes me feel a bit isolated and dejected when he keeps cancelling on me. i'm a go with the flow type of person but he's testing my patience. i feel a bit lonely. i'm almost feeling over hooking up with different people all the time. i think this city just kinda blows at the end of the day. i thought it'd be better 

[JoeAg]

if I do move back to my hometown (in the DC area), my mom will very much be on my ass all the time helping me find work, but she'll also co-sign a place for if i live there. i yelled at her on pride sunday the other week, drunk off my ass (idk if her or my dad noticed) over facetime about my trauma and how she's negatively affected my mental health, and it was cathartic but she clearly still didn't really get it. my best friend is on the fence about this idea because he doesn't want my mom interfering in his life at all, and i get that

 

his idea (which i'm also kinda on board with but less so now because of what my mom's support conditionals are) was to move to philly together. this sounded awesome but my mom is vehemently opposed to me going with that plan. it sucks because either way i don't want to end up on the east coast, but i also think either of these plans would be a good reset for me for just a bit. i don't want to lose my best friend in any way, but i do think my mom's structural ideas and support might be best for me  it's hard out here for a b*tch for sure

[GuyNextDoor]

I moved to this new place and I want to go back where I was. Even if it was depressing and I complained a lot 

I guess the grass is not always greener on the other side.

 

On 6/10/2024 at 11:50 PM, stars said:

My life is a living hell. I can't enjoy anything and the slightest things piss me off. When will it end 

Same. Like I can never get satisfied and there's always something going on that bothers me and makes my life more difficult 

Edited July 4 by GuyNextDoor

[Inner Insanity]

I give up on love. I can't move on from a guy who I've loved deeply for years but who has no desire to be anything more than friends. Even though we've f*cked and done things partners do. I can't get over him and it's not like anyone else has shown interest in me. Dating apps have been worthless. I feel f*cking pathetic.

[YourFavoriteWeapon]

I'm honestly really ******* close to attempting suicide again. **** keeps getting harder and harder every day and I'm tired of being a disappointment to my family. 

[fountain]

35 minutes ago, YourFavoriteWeapon said:

I'm honestly really ******* close to attempting suicide again. **** keeps getting harder and harder every day and I'm tired of being a disappointment to my family. 

Baby no  keep fighting, take it day by day, you can make it through this hard time  I don't know your circumstances, but there is a world full of people to love you, I am certain you are not a disappointment. I hope you will feel better soon

 

[monologueNacafe]

I don't have anything to live for 

[cometz9]

My friend who I've known since we were kids died of a heart attack at the age of 42. We haven't kept in touch the last 3 years. I wished it was me instead of him 

[Elvenpath]

I felt really depressed for some months and I stayed in bed almost all day long. Then, I read that doing exercise is really helpful to fight depression so I've started working out in the gym 5 times a week and going for walks everyday. Now I feel so much better. I hope this can help someone like it has helped me when I learnt about it.

Edited July 22 by Elvenpath

[Mephisto]

Sending love to everyone here. I hope things get better for all of us. 

 

I don't like to talk about myself, mostly because I don't have anything interesting or fun to say. The last 2 years of my life have been terrible, just one problem after another. I feel like I'm trapped and there's no way out and no one who can help me. My job is crap, my apartment is horrible, I have no friends, and I feel anxious all the time. When I'm among people I wish I was alone, but when I'm alone I get depressed. 

It's always one problem after another, like I can never just relax and be happy. I can't even remember the last time I felt happy and hopeful about the future. I'm just tired of struggling all the time.

[Jotham]

I'm gonna be really sad when my summer job in LA ends. This is my first time living here since college and I miss this city so much. I don't want to move back with my family in the Bay Area.

[Dear Reader]

I really am at one of the lowest points in my life and it seems like nobody understands me and I feel left out. I kind of hate my job, my friends are all in their own lives and I feel stuck. My boyfriend broke up with me in February, I went back to add him on instagram this week cause I was missing him bad and found out he's with someone else. I feel miserable, ugly and lonely. I'm sorry for this post and for the horrible writing, I really can't put into words how low I feel right now. I have no one to talk to and I don't have the motivation/strength to go and seek help/therapy. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with these feelings? I feel overwhelmed with sadness. 

[Mephisto]

8 hours ago, Dear Reader said:

I really am at one of the lowest points in my life and it seems like nobody understands me and I feel left out. I kind of hate my job, my friends are all in their own lives and I feel stuck. My boyfriend broke up with me in February, I went back to add him on instagram this week cause I was missing him bad and found out he's with someone else. I feel miserable, ugly and lonely. I'm sorry for this post and for the horrible writing, I really can't put into words how low I feel right now. I have no one to talk to and I don't have the motivation/strength to go and seek help/therapy. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with these feelings? I feel overwhelmed with sadness. 

I feel for you bb, sending you hugs! Don't feel sorry for writing that post, it's good to let it out. 

 

I don't really have any advice since I'm struggling with similar issues every day. Sometimes I feel hopeless, other days my mood improves (usually cuz of something small, like playing my fave video games, or having a random nice interaction with someone).

 

But if you (or anyone else) want to talk, feel free to reach out! 

[Dear Reader]

1 minute ago, Mephisto said:

I feel for you bb, sending you hugs! Don't feel sorry for writing that post, it's good to let it out. 

 

I don't really have any advice since I'm struggling with similar issues every day. Sometimes I feel hopeless, other days my mood improves (usually cuz of something small, like playing my fave video games, or having a random nice interaction with someone).

 

But if you (or anyone else) want to talk, feel free to reach out! 

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and reply to it. It's very nice of you and you made me smile today 

 

I feel you 100%. There are better days, but yesterday when I found out a person I loved found a better person for them I almost broke down. I was driving when I got his text saying he was with someone else and I immediately started crying. It hurt too much to be replaced, specially when it wasn't my fault that we ended things. And even though I want to hate him, I can't. 

 

I'm currently at work and I don't have the motivation to do anything or to even concentrate. I have the Adele show in one week and I had gifted him a ticket to sit next to me and now I'm sitting alone. I feel sorry for the people standing next to me cause I'll be miserable lol. 

 

Anyway, same to you, if you ever need to talk, please reach out. Feels good to know we're not alone on this daily struggle 

[monologueNacafe]

Another crap weekend 

[monologueNacafe]

[JoeAg]

the standards of beauty in our f*cking community make me feel so f*cking SICK SOMETIMES

 

EVEN AS A F*CKING 27 YEAR OLD! like i shouldn't be STILL feeling this goddamn insecure after working out religiously and smiling more and learning to love myself more. I try and I try and I try and yet it's still the same outcome. I have the best sex life I've ever had at this point of my life, I've been recounting how most of my hookups this year have been amazing, and yet when I see other people my age getting hundreds of likes on twitter and I'm only getting like 30 at most, I just sometimes get back to my insecure mindset. what is it about me? is it my long hair? is it my height? is it my body still? how hairy I am? I hate it here sometimes, I feel like everyone in this goddamn city is still hotter than me and I feel like I'll never look the way I want to look. I have beady ass eyes, a big nose, a huge forehead, and I'm short. I finally have a job which is super amazing but what really sucks is just how THIS^ and my music-related jealousy always seem to just come back at random. aijsdfnogadiohsfns it feels like all of my therapy progress has been for nothing sometimes!

 

I KNOW I shouldn't be basing my self-worth off of external validation from a social medium but girl... way easier f*cking said than done 

[Bencharmer]

On 7/31/2024 at 5:09 PM, JoeAg said:

yet when I see other people my age getting hundreds of likes on twitter and I'm only getting like 30 at most, I just sometimes get back to my insecure mindset. what is it about me? is it my long hair? is it my height? is it my body still? how hairy I am? I hate it here sometimes, I feel like everyone in this goddamn city is still hotter than me and I feel like I'll never look the way I want to look. I have beady ass eyes, a big nose, a huge forehead, and I'm short. I finally have a job which is super amazing but what really sucks is just how THIS^ and my music-related jealousy always seem to just come back at random. aijsdfnogadiohsfns it feels like all of my therapy progress has been for nothing sometimes!

Social media's game is insane and random. There are plenty of people who could be your neighbour, who post the most everyday like content and they that got a lot of attention. Beauty/talent/lifestyle isn't always working. There are many things that depends on

 

Enjoy your job 🥰 It's not likes that are going to pay your rent 🤗