tournament Golden Hit: Season 1 📀 Congrats to 8thPrince and Jackson!! 🏆🏆

[Jackson]

7 minutes ago, Aurora said:

While we await on final reviews/scores, keep working away at those hints!

 

Hint for my hints: I saw a lot of myself in your songs this week.

i know what you’re referring to but i still have no idea what songs each of your songs reference

[fountain]

3 minutes ago, Tylerbv said:

9

Your picture does appear ninth, correct 

[Achilles.]

2 minutes ago, fountain said:

Your picture is number 2 in one of the hints! It relates to the beginning part of your title Persephone (Another World)

I guess Tyler is right about the Shell one but I don’t get the correlation.

[Julia Fox]

Is mine 6 or 11?

[fountain]

3 minutes ago, luckystrike said:

none of these pics correlate to my song or maybe I'm too dumb 

Your picture is third 

[TruGemini]

The way I probably have the simplest title and still can't figure out which is mine 

[Galah]

 

 

Hey, Hitmakers! While we anticipate the upcoming Round 1 results show (which should begin soon!), here's a masterpost of all my Round 1 reviews.

If there is anything in your review that you do not wish to have public (lyric excerpts, references to your material etc.) I will remove it upon request.

 

Batch 1

 

1. @hurricane326 - “On a Sea of Glass”
Firstly, I’d like to both congratulate and thank you for having the first submission of Golden Hit! There’s a sense of reasoned ambiguity I find which makes your writing intriguing rather than confusing. I especially enjoyed the third and seventh sections and how they mirrored one another structurally, yet the longer lines didn’t feel at all out of place, and only emphasised their importance. The chorus element was simple but strong, and the verses flowed well—I especially loved the third quatrain. The entire piece very much had a “cold water” essence about it, and as far as channelling the element of water, I believe you’ve done a lovely job.

2. @DatChickDoe - “Mud”
I like the earth-meets-water approach to the challenge, and I also think incorporating mud into a song about a relationship is an interesting creative decision. Your use of rhyming is fair, however it is easy with AABB rhyme schemes to slip into writing lyrics in unnatural ways to land on a rhyme, so just be cautious of that. Details really make songs about love stand out, and I would have enjoyed a few more unique details—Why is their love complicated as sin? What promises were made? I also love a good bridge, so spending some more time fleshing that out would have definitely elevated this piece.

3. @Tylerbv - “Sail Away”
Anyone who knows me, knows I love my water imagery—and this was no exception. I honestly thoroughly enjoyed this entire piece. The structure, metre, and narrative progression were all very sound. I really loved the first quatrain in the second verse—the usage of “stick(s)” there was brilliant. Nitpicks, but avoiding rhyming “new” with itself in the chorus would have improved that section (i.e. “something true” could have worked?), and the bridge feels a little like a missed opportunity to really steer the song in a new direction so to speak—but what you have is sufficient. That said, I still enjoyed this a lot.

4. @Julia Fox - “Holy Ground”
Thanks for enabling us to read your entry! This was a very interesting one indeed. If I’m completely honest I’m not sure I understood many of the individual lyrics, but somehow it still made sense overall? Like a puzzle that doesn’t quite fit together, but you can still make out the resultant image. I really loved the third (and sixth) section(s), this was the highlight of the piece for me. I just loved how the spring imagery played into the earth element very nicely. I also really enjoyed the “orange trees” section. While I would say there is room to improve some of the more nonsensical lyrics, on the whole I enjoyed this, and it definitely felt grounded and earthly.

5. @Hug - “RAVAGED”
What I enjoyed most about this submission (pardon the pun) is that it’s exactly what Golden Hit is about—allowing creative risks and the exploration of styles you may not frequently use. The pre-chorus was cute, especially the “phoenix from ashes” lyric. The chorus is honestly great, and I can see it shining with a killer melody, but “stuffed like a rabbit” definitely pulls it back a tad, even as a token humorous lyric. Is Hüg your new rap alter ego? If so, I hope we’ll be seeing them more. Within the context of the song, the bridge is perfect, too. You’ve unquestionably channelled the element of fire with themes of passion and lust, as well as imagery and references to damnation, and I enjoyed this side of you!

6. @Better Mistakes - “Plastic Heart”
This submission is a lot more straightforward and conversational than the more metaphorical entries thus far—just an observation, not a criticism. The approach of conveying fire through an angry, jealous lover is definitely a good fit for the challenge. Lyrically, it would have been fun to see you play around with fire more without compromising the message of your lyrics, i.e. instead of your plastic heart bleeding, it could have been melted by the fiery rage within. Instead of the subject repeatedly saying they are jealous, perhaps they could have detailed some of the jealous actions they’ve done to show this rather than simply telling it?

7. @Astro - “Hypochondriac”
We love an artist development era! I liked the titular lyric, and I think it would have been an excellent idea to use that to steer the narrative of the piece, i.e. finding sickness or concern in otherwise mundane details or non-issues. I find the pre-chorus strong—it has a power to it which isn’t matched in the chorus, which could have worked better as a post-chorus element. It’s missing that focal point to connect these two sections. Your verses and bridge are well formed and conceptually I enjoyed this submission and its overall atmosphere, but a solid chorus and stronger elemental presence could have elevated it.

8. @EpicSongFan - “Scorching Memory”
Fantastic cover artwork! This song reminds me of the “Disaster Girl” meme, in a good way of course. You’ve done well to capture your main element and integrate other elements without them overpowering it, and the narrative progression is also good. There are a few techniques you could try to strengthen this—try showing some details, rather than telling everything. Looking at the third verse for example, these lines are very conversational rather than lyrical. They tell a story, but you could try conveying the same message with a touch of ambiguity, utilising some more fire imagery or metaphors to hint at this outcome rather than stating it outright.

9. @Hanami-Blossom - “Skydiving Raindrops of Honey”
This submission was very surprising—I did not anticipate worldbuilding like this. It’s a very intriguing angle. It feels like you have all of the elements covered, which is refreshing seeing as the main focus of your song is honey. The creative imagery is wonderful, and the lyrical devices used are advanced and advantageous to your piece. I would have enjoyed another verse section, simply because I enjoyed the pre-choruses so much. A nitpick would be that you’ve used honey to represent many different aspects in this fantasy world—water, love, life itself etc. Using honey in place of just one of these things may have helped bring clarity to the lore of this fantasy world a little, I feel.

10. @RobDeWittBukater- “Stranded in Your Arms”
I enjoyed this a lot—in many ways it reminded me of a song I wrote years ago titled “Set Sail”. The strongest aspect of this song for me were the one liners. It’s a familiar subject matter, which means the angle and lyrics themselves have to be really good, and I think you’ve lived up to that expectation for the most part. Lyrics like, “Told by your touch, betrayed by your eyes,” and, “Tonight I kept that promise, well, half of it,” really worked for me in context. You’ve opted for water as your element, and integrating this even further into your song would have strengthened some of these lyrics. Your next step would be to analyse each individual lyric/couplet and think, “Is there an even better way I could convey this thought or emotion?” Otherwise lovely work.

11. @Euterpe - “Ley Lines”

This was certainly one of the more unique submissions—I found it simplistic yet complex. Strong earthy vibes, too. I enjoyed the change of pace in the bridge, as the longer line lengths allowed for a more fully realised picture of the narrative that was being told. I think the shorter line lengths worked well for the chorus. Verses are usually the optimal time to steer the narrative, and while I would say you’ve done well with the limited wording, branching out from this more poetic style and providing more content for context could have elevated this. Overall, it felt mystical and earthy, and was a pleasant read.

 

12. @OreGuy - “Forever Young”

Similar to Julia Fox’s entry, while I can’t say I understood every single individual lyric, the message was successfully conveyed and that’s what I find most important and interesting. The message behind the “lightning lore” verse was particularly intriguing, and the “gaslight my mind” lyric was powerful. The overall message of growing older and wishing we can hold onto our youth forever is very relatable, and you’ve played around with lots of natural and elemental imagery which has aided your selection of earth nicely. A few more killer one liners and this is a fantastic start to your Golden Hit journey!

Batch 2

 

13. @boubour - “Need To Know”
I enjoyed this submission, it had a strong commercial edge to it that was reinforced by the repetitions and familiar subject matter. In some ways it reminded me of some of the material I wrote during my earlier Hit seasons, and I will pass on some advice that I was given then that served me well: While melody writing is integral to actual songwriting, it can only benefit you so much with lyrics on a page (or in this case, screen). You have a great understanding of metre and rhyming, and if you apply those skills to ensuring each individual lyric has an important place within the piece rather than repeating for intended sonic effect or ear candy, that will serve you better in this specific tournament style. That said, nice work!

14. @Legend E - “White Flag”
I loved this. I really loved this. It’s such a delicate subject matter but you have handled it with the utmost care. The nature of the song unfolded naturally to me, and I had gathered a lot of what you mentioned in the other information section organically. The red sea reference was a little lost on me, but in retrospect it shouldn’t have been, and I interpreted the wedding lyric as a funeral juxtaposition of sorts, which works in my mind. On a technical level, I enjoyed your use of internal rhyming and found many of the lyrics poignant and clever. Your element was utilised well and accompanied the main theme of your submission perfectly. A stellar first outing from you!

15. @Insanity - “Temporary Fix”
Firstly, thank you for submitting even if it’s incomplete to you. I love a good song with an upbeat, commercial vibe. Conceptually, I like what you have here a lot. Describing a fun, exhilarating experience in the verse, acknowledging it’s just a distraction in the prechorus, and then expanding upon the issue in the chorus is a great, natural progression for a song like this. Were you to complete it, focusing on some specific examples of how you’ve tried (and failed) to find a more permanent fix would be a possible next step, perhaps integrating some more of that air imagery and a metaphor or two as well. The outro section felt a little too jarring in comparison to the rest, but perhaps that was your intent?

16. @Augmented - “Navy Mind”
Nerves are a natural part of this process, and submitting something for people on the internet to read and critique can always be daunting—everyone has their own voice though, so thank you for having the bravery to submit! I loved the imagery of being trapped underwater, longing to reach the surface in the prechorus, this was the highlight of your submission for me. The way the first verse was split was a little confusing, but I understood your intention and it’s only a minor qualm. I’m a huge bridge ambassador, and I feel your song could have benefited from an elaborate bridge. You’ve represented your element well, and this was a good first submission.

17. @Prisoner - “Wind Chimes”
Truly beautiful writing, Prisoner. The entire piece has an elegance to it which is simply stunning. Your unique descriptors of these natural events are marvellous, and the seasonal imagery ties in with your choice of element perfectly. You’ve managed to evoke senses of hearing, touch, even smell and taste in addition to your vivid imagery which is truly an achievement by its very nature. Nitpicks since that’s really all I can do: “starts” should be “start” in all instances, and the “puddles” lyric feels like it’s missing a word “[with] all their might”? The context of the narrator being whisked away to war and missing these special moments with their family (if I am interpreting it correctly) was touching.

18. @Arrows - “careful, boy”
Oh wow, the talent! Your voice and acoustic style remind me a little of fellow Golden Hitmaker Jackson. It was a wonderful listen, but I will now direct all further commentary to the lyrics alone, which are the main focus of this tournament. Your second verse was really great here, your sense of metre and rhyming skill is excellent, and your focus on the natural imagery is perfectly suited to the elemental challenge. While I loved the melody of your chorus in the recording, the lyrics in a vacuum are fine, but aren’t extraordinary. I liked your bridge too, but your verses are definitely where this song shines the most. Ensuring all of your individual lyrics are just as strong as your melodies would be my best advice, otherwise fantastic first offering!

19. @GentleDance - “Rupture”
If you hadn’t mentioned that this was your first time writing a song or poetry in English, I never would have known, because your submission displays some very advanced vocabulary, used in fascinating ways! The narrative you have crafted for this piece is particularly intriguing, and the juxtaposition of the fanciful lyrics of the astronomer partner with the grounded lyrics of the realist works brilliantly throughout. I particularly loved the couplet, “You’ll look to the constellations for consolation / And I’ll just be barefoot in the yard”. I found the chorus a touch ostentatious, but I suppose that’s essentially the point. I also found the rhyming in the fifth verse a little excessive. These are nitpicks though, on the whole I thoroughly enjoyed this!

20. @Remmy - “Flowerbloom”
GURL the opening line alone, we- I’m so glad someone took the plunge and submitted a shameless thot anthem, Golden Hit is welcome to one and all with open arms… and legs! Your choruses were actually fantastic, the shifting seasonal imagery worked for the challenge yet didn’t feel out of place within the context of your song either. You have many great one liners (pronouns, Grande reference, garden/hoe, the entire first quatrains of verse 2 and 3 tbh), but also some that fell a bit flat or felt a little forced (wilter—gurl this ain’t even a word in this context, Sigourney—great idea, messy execution, porta potty—a mess). In a way all of the “issues” I took with the song are strangely endearing, though. Love this vibe for you, please come again.

21. @D e v o n - “in de woods”
Thank you for submitting to avoid a zero, and apologies if this is an incorrect assumption. Had this been a fully-fleshed out song, I definitely would have reviewed it fairly (see Hug and Remmy’s reviews). I anticipate your next submission, good luck!

22. @Jessie - “Ex-Flame”
This song had a nice commercial vibe, and the small repetitions throughout were a good balance and didn’t detract from the main content and just provided an interesting flare. The thermostat motif in the verses was a nice touch. I really loved the outro too, and felt this was the highlight of your song. Some of the rhyming throughout, particularly in the verses and chorus, occasionally felt like the lyrics were built around the rhyme rather than coming completely naturally. The bridge was nice and the additional elemental imagery worked here. I believe the best way to elevate this submission would be to ensure all of the individual lyrics make sense and sound great standalone, rather than having them written a certain way to fall on a rhyme.

23. @Achilles. - “Persephone (Another World)”

While I’m not all too familiar with Greek mythology, I know a little about Persephone, and this source of inspiration was a perfect accompaniment to the other elemental and seasonal imagery. While your verses are great, it was your refrains that were the highlight of this song for me—the subtle changes from child to girl to woman, the need for reassurance, and how they connect everything seamlessly. I also loved the bridge section, particularly the lyric, “May sweet fruit be borne of my misery”. Similarly to the refrains, I like the shift in your verses from world to life to home, which shows great detail to your narrative progression. The entire piece is very poetic in nature and feels fully realised as a whole.

 

24. @Jackson - “Bike Lane”

This was pretty neat. It felt equal parts poetic and conversational, almost like slam poetry. I picked up on the social commentary, and the layers of earth representation here such as its grounded delivery, surface subject matter, and deeper environmental implications aided the piece well. Your metre and technical proficiency is good, I enjoyed the use of internal rhymes, and the seasonal shifts worked nicely with your elemental imagery. The close proximity of “ride/ride” and “drivers/drive” in the shorter sections took me out of the immersion a bit, and while I do enjoy what you have here, I would have loved a central element between the shorter and longer sections to tie everything together and steer it even further toward song territory.

Batch 3

 

25. @ughgabriel - “sequoias on fire”
You’ve certainly opted for a very specific, intriguing subject matter with this one! I can’t say I know all too much about sequoias, so the other information certainly helped with some of the finer details. The elemental combination of fire and earth was clever and your chosen subject matter was a good fit. You touched on using the sequoias as a metaphor for humans enduring our own struggles and wondering if it is worth it, and I would have loved to see this developed more within the actual lyrics of the song. This has immense potential to be an allegory in the way that you’ve described, but I feel it doesn’t achieve this until the last section. That said, it was still an enjoyable read.

26. @mxtthewdelrey - “If I Leave This Earth”
This was certainly an experimental art piece, but I’d expect no less from you! In some ways, I interpret the nonsensical or unexpected nature of some of the lyrics to be an allegory for the aftermath of someone taking their life… those questions of, “Why did they do it?” “It doesn’t make sense.” “They seemed so happy?” and so forth. The horse being named Barbara feels like acknowledgement of the Streisand effect—insistently telling others you’re fine only amplifies the fact that you aren’t. Thus, burying Barbara and her horse friends en masse is essentially burying all of the white lies and false proclamations of happiness and finally accepting one’s fate.

27. @TruGemini - “Dive”
I’m enjoying the amount of commercial-leaning content Golden Hit is bringing to the table! Your verse showcases some obvious talent for rhyming and despite the wealth of internal rhymes and prolonged rhyme schemes, almost nothing feels too forced. Your verse is definitely the highlight of your song for me, and I would have enjoyed another (but I see you were writing to a rather short instrumental, which is absolutely fine). I would say the chorus and repeated/echoed section are not the most lyrically advantageous additions to your piece, and while the water elemental aspect was there, it could have been blended into the overall submission more fluidly. I’d definitely love to see you continue to go in a more R&B or hip hop direction!

28. @JoeAg - “you in those depths”
This was certainly on the shorter side, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing if the content submitted is wonderful—and I do think you’ve done well with a smaller submission. The lyric, “now there’s only a congeries of memories” was definitely the highlight of your piece for me—a lovely internal rhyme and meaning! Moving forward, my main piece of advice would be to expand on your thoughts in more detail. You have submitted what I would consider a good intro or interlude—the next step is that album track that’s going to garner acclaim, and with more content comes more opportunity for that. I think your chorus sections are great, but fleshing out the verses and playing around with the addition of a combination of pre-choruses, a bridge/middle eight, or even an intro/outro can elevate a song on the simpler side like this.

29. @☆lex - “Warm Winter Wind”
I enjoyed this a lot! You definitely have a good grasp of metre and rhyming, and the subject matter you have chosen is a great fit for this elemental challenge. The “Can you feel it yet?” motif was a nice addition in the verses, and everything felt so tight and purposeful without being forced. The closing lyric of the chorus (“And a warm winter wind / Gave me chills”) was powerful in context. You successfully painted the scene of the townsfolk helplessly watching their town be destroyed, and the reality of such a situation even down to the small details such as those taking photos of the event. I liked the misleading titular lyric too—clever! Overall this is a very well formed piece that could benefit from some standout one-liners to really make it a knockout!

30. @Lorenzo22 - “Keep Me Warm”
I’m going to jump right into the chorus and say that while I imagine this would work well with the right vocals, arrangement, and production, Golden Hit is a lyric-focused tournament, and repeating any 3-4 words isn’t going to come across as the most impressive piece of literature. With that out of the way, your verses do a fine job of conveying your narrative, as does your bridge, which also has some nice internal rhyming. Moving forward, I look forward to seeing you tackle another chorus with a bit more body and lyrical content to it. As the centrepiece for most songs, it’s helpful to have a strong chorus—especially in a lyric-focused writing experience.

31. @8thPrince - “Wind Rather Than Sun”
This was a very intriguing piece—you have a wonderful way of seamlessly navigating between the literal and the metaphorical that makes for a very enjoyable experience. There are plenty of wonderful moments in this submission, however the second prechorus in particular (“The more the resistance, the brighter you shine; / The longer the shadow you cast behind / But there’s not a place in this world you can find where the wind won’t blow”) I found to be a masterfully triumphant positioning of wind in favour of the sun, with glorious internal rhyming as well. I just know I’m going to have to read this piece a few more times to fully appreciate it—and intend to do so. A lovely first offering from you, and as always I look forward to what’s to come.

32.  @luckystrike - “picking petals”
This was a lovely read, I’m honestly surprised that nobody else went for more floral imagery seeing as it’s such a perfect match up for many of the elements! The picking petals off of flowers and “love me/love me not” trope may not be the most original, but I do enjoy it in this context. I loved your second prechorus, especially the couplet, “crying a river of tears / turned all dirt into mud”. Despite it being a rushed entry as per your own admission, I’m very glad you submitted and I look forward to seeing what else you have to offer in this tournament.

[fountain]

1 minute ago, Achilles. said:

I guess Tyler is right about the Shell one but I don’t get the correlation.

For some pictures, a big hint might be in the link itself 

 

https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/527666f5e4b0a89c83bbb841/1537117875829-3SNM9LCVY5EU0CMGH9IS/persephone-books-london-2?format=1000w

[fountain]

2 minutes ago, Julia Fox said:

Is mine 6 or 11?

Sixth 

[Hanami-Blossom]

1 minute ago, fountain said:

Your picture appears sixth in one of the hints

 

All I remember is a "1." in front of that picture that has already SLIPPED out of my mind, so yes praise the heavens! That hint was NEVER mine.

 

 

I do feel the utmost sadness for whoever's hint that is though, I'm so sorry you got that hint girl I could say I wish it would've been me instead of you but I'm not

 

I just do not like him and I will stand by my TRUTH.

[Achilles.]

4 minutes ago, fountain said:

For some pictures, a big hint might be in the link itself 

Lol I tried checking that but I’m on my phone and couldn’t see the links.

[mxtthewdelrey]

@fountain thank you immensely for always understanding me and my despairing humour

 

@Aurora wow you got my vision dead on. insane review thank you so much

 

[Remmy]

None of the hints stood out to me so I'll just wait for the results nn, should've done some Troye promo!

[Into The Void]

isn't it 10

[mxtthewdelrey]

my review of fountain's reviews:

 

1. Three

2. Three

3. Three

4. Three

5. Three

6. Three

7. Three

8. Three

9. Three

10. Three

11. Three

12. Three

13. Three

14. Three

15. Three

[Galah]

16 minutes ago, Jackson said:

i know what you’re referring to but i still have no idea what songs each of your songs reference

My hints are probably a bit niche for the Golden Hit community, to be fair!

 

Initial hints referred to song titles of songs that I have submitted during past ATRL songwriting tournaments, as found in the receipts link in my signature!

 

My Top 10 hints (updated):

 

S6R11 - "Surrender"

S6R3 - "Whirlwind"

S7R12.1 - "Celestial"

S7R6 - "Set Sail"

S4R5 - "Into My Sea"
S1R4 - "Playing God"
S10R1 - "Snowflake Secrets"

S7R4 - "My Paradise"
S1R5 - "Voodoo Vixen"

S10R7 - "Poles Apart"

Some titles may be direct references to submitted song titles, others may be referencing the vibe of the song. Admittedly, one or two are a bit of a reach, but hey, I only have 80 titles to work with!

[Hanami-Blossom]

37 minutes ago, Hanami-Blossom said:

The way I was searching for raindrops of honey in this picture, the links my brain cells tried to connect

 

MY MIND

 

I knew this one was mine!

 

The way all the copyright logos were discombobulating my eyes, I thought they were also raindrops when I first saw this picture

 

alamy REALLY wanted to let the girls know that it's HER photo!

[mxtthewdelrey]

my review of fountain's reviews pt. ii

 

16. Three

17. Three

18. Three

19. Three

20. Three

21. Three

22. Three

23. Three

24. Three

25. Three

26. 3THREE

27. Three

28. Three

29. Three

[mxtthewdelrey]

my review of fountain's reviews pt. Three

 

30. Three

31. Three

32. Three

[Achilles.]

Let me be optimistic and say Playing God = Persephone

[Tylerbv]

3 minutes ago, Aurora said:

My hints are probably a bit niche for the Golden Hit community, to be fair!

 

Initial hints referred to song titles of songs that I have submitted during past ATRL songwriting tournaments, as found in the receipts link in my signature!

 

My Top 10 hints (updated):

 

S6R11 - "Surrender"

S6R3 - "Whirlwind"

S7R12.1 - "Celestial"

S7R6 - "Set Sail"

S4R5 - "Into My Sea"
S1R4 - "Playing God"
S10R1 - "Snowflake Secrets"

S7R4 - "My Paradise"
S1R5 - "Voodoo Vixen"

S10R7 - "Poles Apart"

Some titles my be direct references to submitted song titles, others may be referencing the vibe of the song. Admittedly, one or two are a bit of a reach, but hey, I only have 80 titles to work with!

Really don't want to assume I'm #4 based on the title alone but it's real close to mine :deadbanana3: 

[diamondsky]

3 minutes ago, Remmy said:

None of the hints stood out to me so I'll just wait for the results nn

Google ‘han flowerbloom’ 

[fountain]

6 minutes ago, Remmy said:

None of the hints stood out to me so I'll just wait for the results nn, should've done some Troye promo!

picture 4 

[Galah]

4 minutes ago, Achilles. said:

Let me be optimistic and say Playing God = Persephone

[Remmy]

3 minutes ago, ☆lex said:

Google ‘han flowerbloom’ 

1 minute ago, fountain said:

picture 4 

Ooh yessss