discussion The Depression Lounge

[Pacify Him]

I hooked up with two guys today. Minutes from each other. The way this is so easy but it leaves me hella unsatisfied. I want to be closer to real love and not this

[zasderfght]

On 10/10/2022 at 10:20 PM, Allday said:

With my 2 year relationship ending, and my only friend blocking me outta nowhere, my mental health hasn't been okay, im now poor and kinda wanna find a chilled job to do to get outta my rut of anxiety of leaving the house but even afraid i've left it too late since nobody will hire someone at my age that's never worked a day in my life, i've had days when I just wanna give up and end it, but only thing that pushes me through are my faves, people be like ew they don't know you why you gotta be obessesd but look if they weren't i wouldn't be alive, but life is getting really lonely for me now.  It i apply for a job i don't think i can lie about my age, i mean I can get away being 22.  the age thing is really getting to me, it's november next month while means thats another year added to me going nowhere in life! i'm really scared (most my family have passed on, i have no siblings, so i'm really scared) 

If it's any consolation, I didn't work my first job until I was almost 21. Believe me, I was anxious about working, interviewing for jobs, applying for jobs, etc. but once you get past that hurdle (which is ALWAYS the worst part, I get it), you will be surprised at how not-scary working is. Think about a job in the most simple terms: you're being paid for a service provided. 

 

You can work from home, you can work a hybrid WFH/office job, or you can work retail (this is a REALLY good first job/learning experience, especially if you're just starting out in the workforce). If your anxiety is super bad, you can ask the hiring manager if a friend can sit in on the interview-- my coworker did this when he interviewed for our movie theater job. If contacting the hiring manager makes you uncomfortable, see if you can contact HR! 

 

Also, please don't lie about your age. You're going to have to do your taxes, be successfully onboarded, and you don't want to potentially get into legal trouble or burn a bridge with your first job.

 

As for "leaving the house," do you mean living with your parents? Again, I was very anxious to move out, and I actually didn't move out until this year at age 25! What I did to alleviate this anxiety was live with a high school friend. See if you can live with a family member, since you said you had only one friend. 

 

Sorry you feel like you have no one /: Life can feel that way at times, and my life is certainly not perfect, but I have hope for you, even if you don't have hope for yourself. 

 

PM me if you need anything!

 

 

 

 

 

 

[zasderfght]

16 hours ago, Pacify Him said:

I hooked up with two guys today. Minutes from each other. The way this is so easy but it leaves me hella unsatisfied. I want to be closer to real love and not this

I get it. I felt like I was only good for hookups and short-term dating for the longest time, but let me tell you, you deserve and can find a long-term monogamous/exclusive partner, if you so choose. 

 

Maybe to break this cycle ask yourself what you want out of a relationship. If it's a long-term partner, make that extremely obvious/clear upfront. If any guy gives you an "I-don't-know-what-I-want" response, don't give that man your energy. 

 

Also, look for guys who don't want to jump into sex right away. Look for guys who are more slow-burn than wanting you to meet their family/friends off the bat. Not saying these guys are terrible for a sustainable relationship, but if you know you're worth, you're not going to just give up your vulnerability and personal life to just anyone. 

 

Also, is there a way you can feel supported by family, friends, or LGBTQ+ support groups/acquaintances? Stay strong  

[zasderfght]

On 10/10/2022 at 7:28 PM, The Kick said:

okay so I typed an essay and now I feel ******* stupid; long story short I need to get off my meds (trazodone, zolpidem and alrpazolam) and I feel like I'm probably hooked on all three so I'm scared as hell

 

is it even worth trying to quit at this point

Not a licensed medical professional, but depending how long you've been taking generic Xanax, do not just stop taking the xannies. You could go into withdrawals so bad you could die. Also, I hear Ambien withdrawals are pretty bad. And if that's what's helping you sleep, you need to continue taking these meds as instructed by your doctor.

 

I would wait to consult your doctor before you start tapering and getting off meds. We are not people that have spent years and years researching, studying, spending times in labs, know exactly how drugs interact with the body, how these drugs interact with each other, or even what a normal tapering process looks like. 

 

What makes you feel like you're addicted to these pills? I'm just genuinely asking. 

[Pacify Him]

4 hours ago, zasderfght said:

I get it. I felt like I was only good for hookups and short-term dating for the longest time, but let me tell you, you deserve and can find a long-term monogamous/exclusive partner, if you so choose. 

 

Maybe to break this cycle ask yourself what you want out of a relationship. If it's a long-term partner, make that extremely obvious/clear upfront. If any guy gives you an "I-don't-know-what-I-want" response, don't give that man your energy. 

 

Also, look for guys who don't want to jump into sex right away. Look for guys who are more slow-burn than wanting you to meet their family/friends off the bat. Not saying these guys are terrible for a sustainable relationship, but if you know you're worth, you're not going to just give up your vulnerability and personal life to just anyone. 

 

Also, is there a way you can feel supported by family, friends, or LGBTQ+ support groups/acquaintances? Stay strong  

Thank you. I just did it because I was bored but it felt a semi-breaking point for me. I try to do it one day a month at most now. But I got ghosted by someone I took interest in. I felt like he was so nervous meeting me and I felt like I somewhat forced to meet him even tho we’re both currently busy with our education and even if it was just for a short dining out. I think he got the wrong impression because I tend to really hide my intentions first until I know a person well. I asked him he was truly gay too or if he’s just looking for a friend and his reply to me was that it’s true that he is really gay but friendship are also “nice” I don’t think he liked that question at all and probably felt hurt by it. But also before we parted ways he told me he has exams to worry about but it’s been 3 weeks.

 

But like you said too, he shared his personal life story to me and I treasure that information to heart. Maybe one day I’ll find him online again and then make my intentions known to him. Direct and upfront

[Lipgloss]

How do u guys go outside ur comfort zone?? I need to go out more since all I do is stay at home after work and on weekends. But being at home is so "comfortable" even if it isn't fun or fulfilling. 

[zasderfght]

46 minutes ago, Pacify Him said:

Thank you. I just did it because I was bored but it felt a semi-breaking point for me. I try to do it one day a month at most now. But I got ghosted by someone I took interest in. I felt like he was so nervous meeting me and I felt like I somewhat forced to meet him even tho we’re both currently busy with our education and even if it was just for a short dining out. I think he got the wrong impression because I tend to really hide my intentions first until I know a person well. I asked him he was truly gay too or if he’s just looking for a friend and his reply to me was that it’s true that he is really gay but friendship are also “nice” I don’t think he liked that question at all and probably felt hurt by it. But also before we parted ways he told me he has exams to worry about but it’s been 3 weeks.

 

But like you said too, he shared his personal life story to me and I treasure that information to heart. Maybe one day I’ll find him online again and then make my intentions known to him. Direct and upfront

You could. I can say from personal experience, if a guy likes you, he’ll let you know it. Life gets busy for me and my boyfriend, but we still make time for each other. Hell, we both were really sick one month, and we still video chatted and did phone calls. 

Do you genuinely see a future with this dude? If you don’t, I wouldn’t say ignore him completely, but be very upfront about your expectations. You could always be like, “Hey, I really like you. Would you be interested in going on a date with me?” And see where that goes. 

 

[zasderfght]

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Edited October 18, 2022 by zasderfght

[zasderfght]

43 minutes ago, Lipgloss said:

How do u guys go outside ur comfort zone?? I need to go out more since all I do is stay at home after work and on weekends. But being at home is so "comfortable" even if it isn't fun or fulfilling. 

I have the opposite problem lol I feel like I have to learn to say “no” more. 
 

What helped when I was more shy/more of a home-body, it was just forcing myself to go out. I knew if I stayed in my apartment too long I’d get sad really easily. Definitely hang out with people that are worth that time. For example, any time I go over my best friend’s house, we always have a blast lol we’ll drink these THc/cbd tonic seltzers and watch the stupidest crap on TV. I never regret staying over his apartment. 

[Lipgloss]

1 hour ago, zasderfght said:

I have the opposite problem lol I feel like I have to learn to say “no” more. 
 

What helped when I was more shy/more of a home-body, it was just forcing myself to go out. I knew if I stayed in my apartment too long I’d get sad really easily. Definitely hang out with people that are worth that time. For example, any time I go over my best friend’s house, we always have a blast lol we’ll drink these THc/cbd tonic seltzers and watch the stupidest crap on TV. I never regret staying over his apartment. 

I have a friend like that but he lives on the other side of the country ?. 

 

Yeah I need to force myself. It's just so hard to do when staying home feels (in the moment) better ?. 

[cyclone]

I'm having trouble finding community and forming friendships in new town i just feel very lonely nowadays and like im a ghost

[BOOMBAYAH]

I feel like I’m at my wits end, honestly. Usually whenever I try google ways to sue of side I usually snap out of it afterwards, but now the feeling has just lingered on. I skipped an entire week of uni last week + in general I just don’t think it’s going to get better. It’s a very calm sort of acceptance though, like I’ve just given all that I can and now I’m almost ready to just let it all go. I’m not really scared or frightened about the possibility anymore, I just want it to stop.

[AccioMiley]

I failed my algebra midterm tuesday and im being dropped from the class. Im miserable rn and i dont know what to do. Maybe i should just quit school all together

[Lipgloss]

On 10/16/2022 at 12:56 AM, cyclone said:

I'm having trouble finding community and forming friendships in new town i just feel very lonely nowadays and like im a ghost

I literally never leave my house aside from work and errands b/c of this .

[Aethereal]

Unfortunately it is the depression and anxiety time round for me. Life keeps plugging me into this hole. I have chosen certain type of music to calm me down. It is not completely useless.

Edited October 27, 2022 by Aristotle

[Lipgloss]

Ugh I need to change my life. I only leave my house for work and I spend all my time in my phone 

[Alldeezy]

people who suffer major anxiety, how do you guys deal going to concerts alone! i'm going to 3 in the next month alone (one being a music fesitval) because I got like no friends but my anxiety is making me nervous and sick atm 

[Likingstars]

I just got started on Wellbutrin for seasonal depression (and regular too but i was never on med before). 2 weeks in and I don’t feel anything changing  I know its supposed to take a few weeks so Im just patiently waiting at this point. And I just wen through a breakup last week on top of that  Some days feel really sh**ty

[Pop Life]

On 11/9/2022 at 11:23 PM, Allday said:

people who suffer major anxiety, how do you guys deal going to concerts alone! i'm going to 3 in the next month alone (one being a music fesitval) because I got like no friends but my anxiety is making me nervous and sick atm 

I suffer from panic attacks and I've managed a couple of concerts on my own. The hardest part for me honestly was forcing myself to just buy the tickets. Once that was out of the way I held onto the feeling of being proud of myself for committing to something I was afraid of. I didn't talk to anyone once I was there, but the music pushed some of the negative internal monologue out of my head and I could just have fun and be happy I was there.

Edited November 13, 2022 by Pop Life

[Likingstars]

So today I made some progress.

 

I woke up early at around 7am and ran some chores around the house. Drank my coffee. Took my medications. Then I fell asleep and took a nap for like 2 hours. Afterwards, I decided I needed some sun time. So I took the train and walked to a bookstore that I like. Then I sat in the park under the sun and read book. It was so cold today so I didn’t stay out long. But I feel like I’m making some progress to stop myself from feeling worse. The breakup sucks and I still miss him alot. At several points today I wanted to burst out crying, but I couldn’t. All of the emotions physically hurt me in my chest, my stomach, my arms and legs and I was just generally tired.

 

This is my first time taking antidepressant (Welbutrin) so I don’t know what to expect. But with this new stressor (ending relationship) I don’t know when I will finally feel better.

[Likingstars]

Holiday just makes me feel sadder and lonelier than usual. 

[GraceRandolph]

Life just really seems so joyless at times. 

[Alldeezy]

Okay everything i've been numb about has knocked me hard past 2 days!  even thinking bout the day i hung out with Allday isn't making me feel any better because I have people on the internet calling me a stalker and then one girl on twitter for some reason giving me a hard time too bc I tweeted allday for a follow so she faked be him and showed off her accounts with his follow to the point i deleted my twitter before he saw the tweet.

 

like I know those are not even serious issues but the fact i've been so strong, my bf broke up with me I was fine, my friend decided to ditch me outta the blue I was fine but everything I was being so strong for has hit me with a tone of bricks to the point I even tried to OD on my anti-depressants last night! 

 

I just don't have any friends to go to anymore, I have been on discord voice with people ALL day just so I don't do anything dumb! and I love them for keeping my mind busy, but eventually i'll have to get off voice and be back into my own thoughts :( 

 

 

[FunCoric]

every guy im interested in rejects me, it's hard to realize that i'm just not meant to have a bf or feel that type of happiness

[unino]

On 11/25/2022 at 1:03 AM, Likingstars said:

Holiday just makes me feel sadder and lonelier than usual. 

isn't it crazy? like i will always be waiting for a long break but then everything gets worse during that time