discussion The Depression Lounge

[poki]

2 days ago I went hysteric for the first time in 2 years. Smashed a lamp on the floor and hurt myself. 

 

It's like a switch where suddenly I question everything in my life and where I'm headed towards and go berserk. 

[ThousandMiles]

I put my depression and anxiety aside to go on a date last night, it was the 3rd date i’ve gone on this year (first 2 flopped) and now i’m accepting that this was another flop. It’s so ******* embarrassing and discouraging, i’m 25, never had a boyfriend, what am I doing wrong? I have a feeling it’s because I don’t initiate a kiss at the end that these guys have no interest in meeting again. I noticed he updated his Tinder today as well 

 

The dates never seem bad (to me anyway). Every date i’ve gone on this year i’ve gotten home and had hope and excitement to get to know these guys more. I ask them if they want a second date and they either ghost or say no 

 

Im so over it! I’m such a romantic, never been in a relationship, i know i’d be an amazing partner. I’m sick of putting in the effort just to fall back on my ass. It’s like whenever i build a bit of confidence the universe slaps me in the face. 

Edited December 17, 2023 by ThousandMiles

[honestopinion]

4 minutes ago, ThousandMiles said:

I put my depression and anxiety aside to go on a date last night, it was the 3rd date i’ve gone on this year (first 2 flopped) and now i’m accepting that this was another flop. It’s so ******* embarrassing and discouraging, i’m 25, never had a boyfriend, what am I doing wrong? I have a feeling it’s because I don’t initiate a kiss at the end that these guys have no interest in meeting again. I noticed he updated his Tinder today as well 

 

The dates never seem bad (to me anyway). Every date i’ve gone on this year i’ve gotten home and had hope and excitement to get to know these guys more. I ask them if they want a second date and they either ghost or say no 

 

Im so over it! I’m such a romantic, never been in a relationship, i know i’d be an amazing partner. I’m sick of putting in the effort just to fall back on my ass. It’s like whenever i build a bit of confidence the universe slaps me in the face. 

Same, but i already not even going on dates anymore. Gave up on romantic life and instead spending quality time alone and romanticising some moments alone, for example yesterday i went out for dinner and then had a long walk with beautiful sunset view, listening to favourite music, just trying to live in a moment. It gets lonely sometimes but you have to love yourself first and make yourself feeling happy and not try to find a person who would make you happier cause people come and go all the time and you only have yourself. My short ted talk, just don't stress out much about not finding the love of your life. I'm also 25 so you're not alone in this 

[ThousandMiles]

30 minutes ago, honestopinion said:

Same, but i already not even going on dates anymore. Gave up on romantic life and instead spending quality time alone and romanticising some moments alone, for example yesterday i went out for dinner and then had a long walk with beautiful sunset view, listening to favourite music, just trying to live in a moment. It gets lonely sometimes but you have to love yourself first and make yourself feeling happy and not try to find a person who would make you happier cause people come and go all the time and you only have yourself. My short ted talk, just don't stress out much about not finding the love of your life. I'm also 25 so you're not alone in this 

thank you  My extreme reactions to being ghosted also reminds me that maybe i’m not ready to date yet as well

[ThousandMiles]

update: i’ve been left on delivered for 2 days now  not only that but he’s been active on Grindr, and even posted a story on snapchat while i was on delivered I- The disrespect is so real. I can’t bring myself to block him because of all the energy I put into going on that date. The way it is ALWAYS the worst scenario outcome for me. 

[ThousandMiles]

My obsession with my phone is so bad and it’s holding me back from progressing in life. I will need to delete snapchat, instagram, tiktok, and ATRL by the new year 

[khalyan]

Today I started a new medication for my depression/anxiety. I also have decided to start counseling and have my first session in the new year. 

[Devin]

1 hour ago, khalyan said:

Today I started a new medication for my depression/anxiety. I also have decided to start counseling and have my first session in the new year. 

oh wow happy for you. 

 

counseling/therapy is def effective & help me.

[poki]

On 12/10/2023 at 7:23 PM, Devin said:

accepted a new job offer last week and im so happy bc this company triggered my anxiety all year.

 

2024 off to a GREAT start already. 

Happy for you 

 

On 12/17/2023 at 6:01 AM, honestopinion said:

Same, but i already not even going on dates anymore. Gave up on romantic life and instead spending quality time alone and romanticising some moments alone, for example yesterday i went out for dinner and then had a long walk with beautiful sunset view, listening to favourite music, just trying to live in a moment. It gets lonely sometimes but you have to love yourself first and make yourself feeling happy and not try to find a person who would make you happier cause people come and go all the time and you only have yourself. My short ted talk, just don't stress out much about not finding the love of your life. I'm also 25 so you're not alone in this 

 

On 12/17/2023 at 6:32 AM, ThousandMiles said:

thank you  My extreme reactions to being ghosted also reminds me that maybe i’m not ready to date yet as well

I'm also 25, no romantic expereince and not thinking about love either, I 100% agree with honestopinion 

 

1 hour ago, khalyan said:

Today I started a new medication for my depression/anxiety. I also have decided to start counseling and have my first session in the new year. 

I saw the thread you made a few days ago, hope it gets better 

I can't imagine how much extra stress being a mod adds 

[Devin]

1 minute ago, Hey Dude said:

Happy for you 

appreciate u it feels like a weight has been lifted, corperate isnt bad but working at this firm sucks. 

[Devin]

as far as dating 25+ it gets easier in terms of being selective of who u want in ur space but mentally u gotta process it like 2 ppl having fun. save the romantics til like date 3-5.

[ThousandMiles]

2 hours ago, Devin said:

as far as dating 25+ it gets easier in terms of being selective of who u want in ur space but mentally u gotta process it like 2 ppl having fun. save the romantics til like date 3-5.

True but I can’t even get a date #2  I assume I’m dating too many secret bottoms, because neither of us want to make a move and are searching for someone more dominant lowkey 

[monologueNacafe]

Depression is still whooping my a** 

 

[Devin]

1 hour ago, ThousandMiles said:

True but I can’t even get a date #2  I assume I’m dating too many secret bottoms, because neither of us want to make a move and are searching for someone more dominant lowkey 

dating in general is tough bc ur constantly marketing yourself to different ppl hoping to build chemistry with that one person. 
 

based on ur previous posts, be GLAD these guys are ghostin tbh - anyone who is kind or can be romantically invest in someone doesnt deserve all that if they move weird.

 

my suggestion would be change ur surroundings to new ppl (also update ur dating apps) and put out that energy u like to attract then be assertive so ur not wasting time.

[khalyan]

On 12/19/2023 at 11:38 AM, Devin said:

oh wow happy for you. 

 

counseling/therapy is def effective & help me.

I’ve never done any sort of counseling before but my doctor recommended it so I figured I’d try! A little anxious about opening up to a stranger but excited to see how it works 

 

23 hours ago, Hey Dude said:

Happy for you 

 

 

I'm also 25, no romantic expereince and not thinking about love either, I 100% agree with honestopinion 

 

I saw the thread you made a few days ago, hope it gets better 

I can't imagine how much extra stress being a mod adds 

The reception to me being a mod has been the worst over the last few months. Doing the job itself is fine, but it’s overwhelming mentally to get blamed for something that members feels like isn’t fair to them 

[Kern]

Yeah I’m going to need some thoughts and prayers for the next few days. This hasn’t even started yet and I’m already on the verge of a breakdown  

[monologueNacafe]

Been waiting a month to see my psychiatrist and still have three more weeks to go. This is INSANE. So I've just been suffering.

[monologueNacafe]

really feeling like I want to die today

[Mellark]

I don't know if this is the right thread but I've been feeling overwhelmed lately about the future of my job which helps me survive because they want a Driver's License (they should've asked before hiring me, by the way) and I keep trying and trying and I always fail it because of my nerves even though I drive well most of the time. I wish I wasn't pressured and I wish got the Driver's License over with so I can not worry about my job. I am trying and I love this job, but I don't want to go to the driving board. Ugh, I am scared and I am supposed to enjoy this break but I no longer can't.

[flower moon]

i dunno if this is a part of depression or what but lately ive just felt so apathetic. like no matter what i do or think i just feel the same. nothings exciting/good but nothing feels terrible either, and maybe that sounds like a neutral/ good thing but it really just means i feel totally unmotivated. its weird and im not really sure how to snap out of it

[ThousandMiles]

retiring ATRL among other social media apps in 2024, that means I have 2 more days of shameless trolling and contributing to toxic stan culture 

[Kern]

15 minutes ago, ThousandMiles said:

retiring ATRL among other social media apps in 2024, that means I have 2 more days of shameless trolling and contributing to toxic stan culture 

damn I kinda want too...

[goverm3nth0ker]

my relationship ended in our first anniversary, things got messy + we both cheated. yesterday I saw him and he just laughed while i was crying... he was angry cuz i had a ''date'' with someone (i dont have eyes for nothing rn) and he: hooked up, downloaded tinder, almost had a date... but he told me ''i still love you, but i was the one who wanted to end this and feel freedom. you begged me to come back but still you went out with someone, thats the difference'' and ik its manipulation but now i just feel 

 

....vulnerable and unsafe about me

[JoeAg]

it’s my 27th birthday and I’m trying not to freak out/feel stressed/have an existential crisis  my bday has, historically, been an extremely emotionally taxing day for me. it kinda just reminds me of how little sh*t I’ve done in my 20s other than graduate uni. it’s like… why can so many other musicians have so much success and yet i’m stuck here in unsuccessville. I hate comparing myself, and i’ve gotten better about it in general this decade, but my birthday is always a big day for me doing that again 

[Joyride]

two days into this year and I'm already falling apart, I always ask myself if I did something to deserve all the **** that happens to me but this is just terrible. I have cancer, I can't find a job (probably because I'm neurodivergent) and I am lonely as hell. I feel like it's too much and I truly hate this situation, wish this damn illness would take me away and just be freed from the pain. I can't get a rest.

 

everything is so blue right now.