Hug Posted January 28, 2023 Posted January 28, 2023 Hi everyone! Thank you to all that submitted and made the New Year's Round a resounding success! You'll find the reviews in the Google document linked below. If you have any issue reading yours, just let me know. If there is anything in your review that you do not wish to have public, I will remove it upon request. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jmYua6ff8qvowm6Nbr7eALQNBYLvWcC1jmnG1Lm6n3M/edit?usp=sharing @Julia Fox @XO_Life @Legend E @8thPrince @DatChickDoe @JoeAg @mxtthewdelrey @Euterpe @Invisibility @Remmy @worldwide angel @beatinglikeadrum @Element @TruGemini
Hug Posted January 28, 2023 Posted January 28, 2023 Jesus Christ that was embarrassing. Thankfully not too many people saw that.
mxtthewdelrey Posted January 29, 2023 Posted January 29, 2023 17 hours ago, Aurora said: There are some peculiar word choices (phlegm, km) and syntax issues (facial muscle couplet) that detract 28 minutes ago, Hug said: Some of my favorite parts are “Phlegm lining my throat, that’s from my cough” (this just has good comedic timing to me!) ... and “Could this year be one of facial muscle rising?” (“Do I finally get to smile this year?” but make it sound philosophical). Woooow the fact that I'm making divisive art excites me greatly Thank u so so much judges for your words, and for having enthusiasm for my work @Hug your kind words are incredibly meaningful + I adore the Google Doc formatting !! As someone living with a lot of baggage of trauma, I really wanted to write a song which reflects the push and pull between questioning whether I would be able to co-opt the optimism that generally comes with a new year, or whether I would fall victim to my defeatist tendencies. That's something I struggle with every year so it felt fitting to write about it for this challenge. @Aurora Even though it may across despondent, I do hope some of my feelings of hope came across (particularly in verses 2, 4 and 5). Optimism is something I'm not terribly good at, so above all I wanted the song to reflect the truth of how I feel. Nevertheless, I truly appreciate the encouragement and v much believe taking part in GH will give me a focus that provides some hope that I so often lack
fountain Posted January 29, 2023 Author Posted January 29, 2023 (edited) Round 1: New Year’s @Julia Fox - Free (World’s Prettiest B*tch) First song of the season, hello! And what a treat that it would be from you, Julia <3 When you first posted a preview of your song, it immediately gave me We Can’t Stop vibes, and I can say that after reading the full thing now, I do get very Bangerz era Miley energy from this song! It has a very c*nty, IDGAF attitude which was synonymous with that era, and I think you channelled this vibe very well. It fits great with the New Year celebration theme so overall I think you’ve done a good job writing for this challenge. Looking more closely at specifically the lyrical content, I don’t think this stands out as much as some entries we’ve seen from you in the past. We’re lucky since you’ve played before that we’ve been able to see quite a few songs from you at this point so I’m beginning to feel acquainted with your writing style, and I would personally characterise your writing as being very unique and typically offering your own specific point of view with interesting and eccentric lyrics, and I think in this case this entry doesn’t really live up to that previous style that I’ve kinda come to expect from you (not that you need to meet our expectations, write whatever you want!). It’s just that in this case, I think lyrically this song doesn’t stand out in the same way that we’ve seen from your past songs, as the overall narrative of the song and the image it paints is one that, although very fitting for the New Year’s theme, is a bit less imaginative and stand out. The good thing however is that I know you can deliver amazing stand out entries, because you’ve done it in the past! So while I did enjoy this song and think that it works well for this round with the freedom and careless joy that it embodies, I did feel it was a little safe compared to what I know you can deliver. This feels like a good starting point but I would love to see that unique perspective that you offer again in the future. @XO_Life - Agathist I always love seeing a continuation of a previous entry and I think this is a great concept to take your final song from Season 2 and build upon its narrative. Right off the bat, sampling Evilist in the intro was a great idea as it invites us right back into that world immediately, so I thought that was a clever way of easily connecting the songs and making the continuation apparent. I enjoy the Agathist concept and it fits really well with the New Year’s theme, this narrative of moving on from the past experience in Evilist and becoming somebody who now feels stronger works great too. I think the part that I enjoyed the most was the second verse, with the line “spread my roots while you were busy consuming all the petals, now a garden and I thrive, home to a million fireflies that guide me through the night”, which I thought was a really vivid and beautiful image! This verse in particular stood out to me amongst the rest lyrically and I think it could really work out well in the future if you channel and try to amp up this type of imagery filled writing in the future, as I found it strong and the potential is there to go even further I feel! Overall I think this is a good starting point for the season and I liked that you referenced your own previous work in executing the theme for this round, but I’m also looking forward to seeing what else you create in the future. @Legend E - Peace This is such a pretty and emotionally pleasing song. I think you’ve perfectly executed the theme here and exploring it not just through the act of self betterment, but also through questioning how/if a loved one may give this new you a chance, is a really touching and poignant look at how we grow and how we try to be the best version of ourselves after potentially faltering. Lyrically I feel like the whole piece is pretty strong and portrays the narrative and emotion of the song very well, but I in particular loved the more down to Earth lyrics in the second verse which take a really deep look at oneself, which I find beautifully put and thought provoking; to me, that what my personal highlight of the song and I love reading really self analysing writing like that! Overall this is a strong first entry, you’ve met the challenge theme really well and created a song that tells a touching emotional journey, and asks the questions that I think many of us ponder throughout life. Great job! @8thPrince - New Year, New Me Okay, this is such a creative concept and genius interpretation of the theme. Taking the typical “New Year, New Me” ideal and playing it up satirically itself would’ve made for a great entry, but combining that with the metaphor of Cinderella’s midnight transformation is just creative genius. This song is just pure fun, and I also consider it overall quite liberating and a great anthem for rejecting the societal pressures and expectations that come with a New Year. Each verse portraying a different version of oneself born each year was also really entertaining and engaging as it kept you wondering and looking forward to what the new iteration of this person’s life could be, and it was great at solidifying the message that actually continual change is not such a good thing. I also really love the final line, “the only thing I’m hoping for is an uneventful year!”, because it completely tied up the story and the message of the song and it’s one that definitely personally resonates with me! Overall I think you’ve done a wonderful job, this is a high quality and unique take on the theme, and a strong entry for the start of the season. @DatChickDoe - There’s No Going Back I thoroughly enjoyed reading this entry. Probably the most powerful thing and what struck me right away about this song is your use of imagery, I absolutely love how full of striking images this is and the way you used them throughout the song really painted a wonderful and dark picture, which I loved. I believe the last time we saw an entry from you was back in round one of Season 2, but I think I definitely see an elevation in your writing from then which is really great. This song actually feels quite poetic, and I love the emotionally charged lyrics throughout. My only slight pointers are that this was perhaps a little on the short side, however the fact that I would happily have read more should definitely show you that this was a great entry: if we want to read more, then what we were reading must have been good! I do think if it was a little longer some of the metaphors and images in the song could potentially have had a little more explanation or context for their meaning, however I did ultimately enjoy that things felt quite open to interpretation with this song, which I think paired quite well with its dark imagery, creating something quite mysterious and slightly sinister overall (in a very good way!). Ultimately I think this is a great first entry, and I definitely look forward to what you could submit for the second round, as your use of imagery here makes me feel like this next challenge might be a great one for you! @JoeAg - As the Gradient of the Sunrise Brings Us Closer to Epiphany This is such a stunning, purely beautiful song. As always, your writing is poetic and sublime, and frankly I think this might be one of my absolute favourite songs we’ve read from you. This entry just feels so full of thought and appreciation for the beauty of life, and absolutely excels in filling the reader up with this emotion and inspiration. This song to me is like a mantra to not take life for granted and to have gratitude and awe for the world we’re in, and I found it lyrically powerful and such a wonderful interpretation of the New Year’s challenge. I don’t have any criticism. Amazing job, I completely loved reading this. @mxtthewdelrey - Not again This feels like one of your most mature and most poetic songs to me, I completely love your lyricism and wording here. In particular, to specifically praise some passages, the third and fourth verse are like pure poetry to me. I think this is a really good take on the theme this round, and I love this personal, individualist look at things through the eyes, the emotions and the experiences of the narrator, which I found easy to connect to. While some of the emotions being portrayed are relatable and easy to understand, I love that you have framed the song in a unique way, with which your lyrics never fall into generic or common territory (though, this is something that can always be said of you as a writer, one of your biggest strengths in my opinion!). I also particularly like that although this song is very much from the emotional perspective of the narrator, it also features some commentary on the outside, for examples with the lines about the postman, which I think are timely and resonant with what is currently going on - and the overall state - of this island we (unfortunately) call home! And, personally, I did find this song to be quite hopeful even though it mentioned and was aware of past trauma. It felt to me that the song was coming from the perspective of somebody who has been through so much, that they are uncertain or slightly anxious at the concept of a new year, yet still want to remain somewhat optimistic because the truth is that you never know what life has in store (“could this year be one of facial rising? if perplexing, or if days of laugh and smiling”), even though it may come from a place of questioning due to that uncertainty I still found that to be the main message to me, personally, and I felt that it was one that was layered and I really appreciated it. Overall, this is a wonderful entry, certainly a poignant one and a standout amongst your work, I feel. If this is what you have in store for us this season, then I am excited, and believe it will be a good year after all! @Euterpe - Anew This is a really unique and interesting interpretation of the challenge, and like you mentioned I think it’s clear that this is more of a lighthearted fun entry as opposed to something to be taken too seriously and dissected. It’s kinda campy in a way, and I’ve liked seeing these flourishes in your writing, which I would say this song, “My New Birthday”, and “Jolly” have shown in particular! It’s really clear that with your writing you have a specific vision and creativity which is really fun to read (but can also serve us depth and emotion too as shown in many of your other entries, we love a diverse writer!). Overall my main take away from this was how cool the concept was, and I definitely found it impressive both that you came up with this, but also that you executed it well, because a less skilled writer probably wouldn’t have been able to pull off such a concept, but you of course could! I think my favourite part here lyrically is your use of descriptions which really helped paint a vivid and interesting picture of the creature the song is written about, through lyrics such as “I’m wrinkled, broken and stiff” and also “My skin starting to crack, hands outstretching with claws”. In fact, I could even see this being a nice fit for a Halloween song, it has that vibe to it and I’d say overall I enjoyed the strong mood the song carries. Ultimately a fun and strong first entry, which leaves us wondering what you might come up with next! I look forward to seeing, as usual. @Invisibility - For the Dearly Departed This is such a touching and emotional song, and I have to say for this being your first time playing and your very first entry I think it was really so brave to open up like this and share personal details like this, so I have to commend you for that and also thank you for sharing such emotion with us and allowing us to read the song. Conceptually, I think this is such a poignant and touching message for a song, because it is true that no matter how many New Year’s we may see, and no matter how much we may want to start brand new, there are many things that we carry through life that we simply are unable to completely let go, and grief can definitely be one of the most heaviest of all. Choosing to tackle that in a song is a big ask, and I think you did a wonderful job of showcasing this and also tying it into the theme for this round. It’s unfortunate, but it’s also a very powerful message, and I think the line in the outro “Grief will continue to follow in our steps” sums this up perfectly, but possibly the thing that I love the most about the song is that you do not characterise or treat grief as if it is an ugly thing or a bad thing, but rather just as natural part of life that we have to deal with and come to terms with, which I think ultimately puts quite a beautiful spin on the topic and almost feels ultimately hopeful with the closing lyric “I look up and I keep you in my thoughts”. It takes real emotional maturity to treat this topic so delicately, and I think you absolutely did. The last thing I might add is that I adore the chorus here, I think it is honestly perfect and so fitting for the song and its message; “Sway to the pain and welcome it” really says everything itself, beautiful! Great job, I’m looking forward to seeing what you write next! @Remmy - Second Chance Oh wow.. choosing to follow up Ghost of Christmas Past is definitely brave after the rave reviews that song received! Luckily, I will say I think this continuation is good. The theme here of aiming to live your life to the fullest and learning to not take it for granted after the loss of a loved one is really sweet, and the “I’m gonna let you live through me and give you what you always dreamed, a second chance at life” chorus line really sells it for me. Lyrically I think there are some really nice lines here, in particular “Never been religious but I still prayed” which is really quite poignant, and “These aren’t my New Year’s resolutions, no, it’s a revolution, against the darkness that tried to take over” which is a really nice and empowering declaration (though I’ll say the ‘revolution’ play on words nearly steered into corniness, but just missed it thanks to the follow up!). I will say though on the other side the line “my mom didn’t raise me to stay knocked down” did kinda take me out tbh, it was kinda reminiscent of the vibe of the Sigrid entry you had; the sentiment itself is fine but definitely could’ve been put a bit more poignantly tbh! But, picking apart lines is very small stuff and I will say that overall I found this really fitting for the round and definitely one of the most optimistic and pure hearted songs of the round, which was really nice to read! Good job. @worldwide angel - into fruition Oh, I absolutely loved this. This is such a joyous and beautiful song, and the joy spread to me just from reading it, too (and I am certain that this would be a beautiful sounding song, too!). This song gives me the same feeling that I did with your very first entry, “Eternal”, it’s just so pure and filled with unadulterated joy! You’ve perfectly imbued the song with this free floating, light emotion and from the examples that we’ve seen I think your writing really excels in this area. What is great though is that beyond this joy, the song also has a great message about growth, life and its beauty, and I think it is all around just a really great interpretation of this challenge. What I love particularly is the point that you make about not overlooking the small stuff, too; the goals that we set ourselves typically at New Year’s can be big and often unobtainable, but the true joy is found in the daily changes that you make, the small progress that comes, and the freedom of not setting your expectations too high to the point that you are literally setting yourself up for failure. I think your song demonstrated all of this so well and feels like a great, purely optimistic look at the New Year. I loved it, great job. @beatinglikeadrum - The new beginnings. Okay, so to state the obvious, this feels a little short and underdeveloped. Instead of focusing on what the song is lacking, as you probably already know it could use more work, I’ll instead focus on what is actually here. And, you know what, underdeveloped though it may be, I think you actually have some good ideas and a lot of potential here which could have been worked with. Whether it was the lack or inspiration or running out of time I don’t know, but what remains clear to me is that you are a great writer, and though this might not be the #1 example of that, there are of course other rounds to come and many opportunities to show that brilliant writer you are! Frankly, I know you have another #1 in you, and this round just didn’t work out for whatever reason, but I’m hopeful for the future! @Element - the antonym Oh, this is the dragging anthem I was waiting for! I love the sarcasm and hopelessness (in a good way) here because I think that’s the reality for what a lot of New Year’s resolutions are! And you have portrayed and given examples for this so well throughout this song. It feels overall very well crafted, the lines are so smooth lyrically and the whole thing is really polished and strong. There are so many lyrics full of such snarky but truthful attitude that make this so entertaining to read, to point out a few to praise which really stood out to me I enjoyed “yet once they feel an anguished crave, all commitments promptly waived”, “so watch the crowds disintegrate, when outcomes don’t reciprocate” and “they flood the gym for three weeks straight, to make their past evaporate” are all so clever! If there was any advice to offer, I guess this could have been slightly longer and maybe had a bridge which offered more expansion on the theme or perhaps a look at a slightly different perspective (eg. revealing that the narrator is one of these people in their own way, too possibly?) but since the whole thing is so polished and strong already it doesn’t necessarily require that and it’s more just a case of “let us have more!!”. Finally, the antonym concept for the song is so smart, well thought out and perfectly used in the song, and the line it belongs to is absolutely killer. Overall such a great job and first entry for the season, I should hope you will bless us with more! @TruGemini - Dreams Come True Damn, right from the very first line you went completely IN with these lines and there was hardly any let up throughout the entire song. This was like punchline after punchline after punchline and there are SO MANY quotable lines, relatable lines and inspirational lines that just like Hug I can absolutely hear this song just being chanted and one of those songs that resonates so well that almost anybody could sing along to it. I think you really, really killed it and as usual I will repeat the praise that I feel I always give you in my reviews: your sense of style, the absolute musicality of your writing, and the freshness that your entries provide here is impeccable. As usual it is so clear how gifted of a writer you are and I’m so glad you managed to end up submitting for this round even if it was late! I also have to say, I really enjoyed your interpretation of the theme and the perspective that you have added to it through this song, and also the added personal layer that you mentioned of trying not just to let go in terms of the New Year and life, but also literally trying to let go of the expectations or chasing after feeling associated with previous songs. Finally, let me specifically praise some lines that I really enjoyed (though there are so many throughout): “been getting sick of disappointments from the dreams I brew, I need to switch up my intentions and the way I view”, “addiction to chasing my past transgressions I need to fix them, buffing my imperfections until they glisten” and my favourite, “it’s like this **** spiritual, or something more than lyrical, my life has been a miracle, I need to let that fear ago” (when I read the “my life has been a miracle” part it felt like such a moment and revelation that the song had been building to, it was amazing). Overall, such a fantastic job with this initial challenge and I can’t wait to see how you approach the future ones too! Edited January 31, 2023 by fountain
fountain Posted January 29, 2023 Author Posted January 29, 2023 will post the remaining half as soon as I have them finished too
ATRL Moderator Element Posted January 29, 2023 ATRL Moderator Posted January 29, 2023 "Here’s to hoping you send next week, too but idk I’m not holding my breath." ended me i fear.... i'm going to try my best to be submitting that 2nd week's entry!! thank you hug for the review!!
worldwide angel Posted January 29, 2023 Posted January 29, 2023 thank you so much @Hug graphic design IS your passion it’s giving generally favorable reviews
TruGemini Posted January 29, 2023 Posted January 29, 2023 Thanks both Aurora and Hug I did struggle with completing the song, so the second unit definitely isn't as solid as the first, but I'm happy you both enjoyed it!!! I also definitely had a lot of fun with the math scheme was a ***** to make it flow fluently though. Also, love the R2 theme. A random line came to me when I woke up this morning and I think I might use that as my prompt.
Galah Posted January 29, 2023 Posted January 29, 2023 2 hours ago, mxtthewdelrey said: Woooow the fact that I'm making divisive art excites me greatly Thank u so so much judges for your words, and for having enthusiasm for my work @Hug your kind words are incredibly meaningful + I adore the Google Doc formatting !! As someone living with a lot of baggage of trauma, I really wanted to write a song which reflects the push and pull between questioning whether I would be able to co-opt the optimism that generally comes with a new year, or whether I would fall victim to my defeatist tendencies. That's something I struggle with every year so it felt fitting to write about it for this challenge. @Aurora Even though it may across despondent, I do hope some of my feelings of hope came across (particularly in verses 2, 4 and 5). Optimism is something I'm not terribly good at, so above all I wanted the song to reflect the truth of how I feel. Nevertheless, I truly appreciate the encouragement and v much believe taking part in GH will give me a focus that provides some hope that I so often lack I think the bolded is a really good way to approach mixed reviews. I will be transparent and admit you were not at the top of my ranking this week, but that doesn't mean I didn't see something in your entry or you as a writer, nor will it determine how the others view your song (my opinion is just 1 of 3). While getting mixed comments such as the ones you highlighted can be confusing—particularly if you're trying to rank highly in a tournament—as long as you keep submitting art you are proud of and believe in, it doesn't really matter what others think all too much. I always go into a new round with fresh eyes and no pre-conceived expectations or assumptions, so I'm ready to be blown away by you in Round 2. 2 hours ago, Element said: "Here’s to hoping you send next week, too but idk I’m not holding my breath." ended me i fear.... i'm going to try my best to be submitting that 2nd week's entry!! thank you hug for the review!! OK but maybe you should make it your New Year's resolution to submit for each round of this tournament. That can be your fourth verse! 1 hour ago, TruGemini said: Thanks both Aurora and Hug I did struggle with completing the song, so the second unit definitely isn't as solid as the first, but I'm happy you both enjoyed it!!! I also definitely had a lot of fun with the math scheme was a ***** to make it flow fluently though. Also, love the R2 theme. A random line came to me when I woke up this morning and I think I might use that as my prompt. As one of few who have written rap more than once or twice during these tournaments, I know 5 days can be a really tight deadline for rap writing in particular. Ensuring everything is executed just right, all of the punchlines are punching, the rhythm and flow are tight, and any references or rap metaphors are clear without being too blatant. All things considered, you did a great job. The math section really was elite, and made me think of a review I got from @Citrus quite a few years back, likening me to a math professor who raps about algorithms but actually has flow—that's you!
Galah Posted January 29, 2023 Posted January 29, 2023 Caught up on the other judges' reviews, pearched for fountain's second batch.
fountain Posted January 29, 2023 Author Posted January 29, 2023 59 minutes ago, Aurora said: Caught up on the other judges' reviews, pearched for fountain's second batch. Omg me too, heading back to finish them off now
Invisibility Posted January 29, 2023 Posted January 29, 2023 Thank you @Hug! Basically what I wanted to say is that I'm prone to allergies in dry cold weather, like in the scene I lived with my grandpa, but added to the stream of tears that was making my nose runny and this kinda gross feeling of having my whole throat and nose and eyes wet as a very visceral reaction at the moment. I think I could've expanded upon that in a better way, but once again, thanks for the compliments on my writing too
fountain Posted January 29, 2023 Author Posted January 29, 2023 (edited) Round 1: New Year’s, part 2 @Euterpe - Anew This is a really unique and interesting interpretation of the challenge, and like you mentioned I think it’s clear that this is more of a lighthearted fun entry as opposed to something to be taken too seriously and dissected. It’s kinda campy in a way, and I’ve liked seeing these flourishes in your writing, which I would say this song, “My New Birthday”, and “Jolly” have shown in particular! It’s really clear that with your writing you have a specific vision and creativity which is really fun to read (but can also serve us depth and emotion too as shown in many of your other entries, we love a diverse writer!). Overall my main take away from this was how cool the concept was, and I definitely found it impressive both that you came up with this, but also that you executed it well, because a less skilled writer probably wouldn’t have been able to pull off such a concept, but you of course could! I think my favourite part here lyrically is your use of descriptions which really helped paint a vivid and interesting picture of the creature the song is written about, through lyrics such as “I’m wrinkled, broken and stiff” and also “My skin starting to crack, hands outstretching with claws”. In fact, I could even see this being a nice fit for a Halloween song, it has that vibe to it and I’d say overall I enjoyed the strong mood the song carries. Ultimately a fun and strong first entry, which leaves us wondering what you might come up with next! I look forward to seeing, as usual. @Invisibility - For the Dearly Departed This is such a touching and emotional song, and I have to say for this being your first time playing and your very first entry I think it was really so brave to open up like this and share personal details like this, so I have to commend you for that and also thank you for sharing such emotion with us and allowing us to read the song. Conceptually, I think this is such a poignant and touching message for a song, because it is true that no matter how many New Year’s we may see, and no matter how much we may want to start brand new, there are many things that we carry through life that we simply are unable to completely let go, and grief can definitely be one of the most heaviest of all. Choosing to tackle that in a song is a big ask, and I think you did a wonderful job of showcasing this and also tying it into the theme for this round. It’s unfortunate, but it’s also a very powerful message, and I think the line in the outro “Grief will continue to follow in our steps” sums this up perfectly, but possibly the thing that I love the most about the song is that you do not characterise or treat grief as if it is an ugly thing or a bad thing, but rather just as natural part of life that we have to deal with and come to terms with, which I think ultimately puts quite a beautiful spin on the topic and almost feels ultimately hopeful with the closing lyric “I look up and I keep you in my thoughts”. It takes real emotional maturity to treat this topic so delicately, and I think you absolutely did. The last thing I might add is that I adore the chorus here, I think it is honestly perfect and so fitting for the song and its message; “Sway to the pain and welcome it” really says everything itself, beautiful! Great job, I’m looking forward to seeing what you write next! @Remmy - Second Chance Oh wow.. choosing to follow up Ghost of Christmas Past is definitely brave after the rave reviews that song received! Luckily, I will say I think this continuation is good. The theme here of aiming to live your life to the fullest and learning to not take it for granted after the loss of a loved one is really sweet, and the “I’m gonna let you live through me and give you what you always dreamed, a second chance at life” chorus line really sells it for me. Lyrically I think there are some really nice lines here, in particular “Never been religious but I still prayed” which is really quite poignant, and “These aren’t my New Year’s resolutions, no, it’s a revolution, against the darkness that tried to take over” which is a really nice and empowering declaration (though I’ll say the ‘revolution’ play on words nearly steered into corniness, but just missed it thanks to the follow up!). I will say though on the other side the line “my mom didn’t raise me to stay knocked down” did kinda take me out tbh, it was kinda reminiscent of the vibe of the Sigrid entry you had; the sentiment itself is fine but definitely could’ve been put a bit more poignantly tbh! But, picking apart lines is very small stuff and I will say that overall I found this really fitting for the round and definitely one of the most optimistic and pure hearted songs of the round, which was really nice to read! Good job. @worldwide angel - into fruition Oh, I absolutely loved this. This is such a joyous and beautiful song, and the joy spread to me just from reading it, too (and I am certain that this would be a beautiful sounding song, too!). This song gives me the same feeling that I did with your very first entry, “Eternal”, it’s just so pure and filled with unadulterated joy! You’ve perfectly imbued the song with this free floating, light emotion and from the examples that we’ve seen I think your writing really excels in this area. What is great though is that beyond this joy, the song also has a great message about growth, life and its beauty, and I think it is all around just a really great interpretation of this challenge. What I love particularly is the point that you make about not overlooking the small stuff, too; the goals that we set ourselves typically at New Year’s can be big and often unobtainable, but the true joy is found in the daily changes that you make, the small progress that comes, and the freedom of not setting your expectations too high to the point that you are literally setting yourself up for failure. I think your song demonstrated all of this so well and feels like a great, purely optimistic look at the New Year. I loved it, great job. @beatinglikeadrum - The new beginnings. Okay, so to state the obvious, this feels a little short and underdeveloped. Instead of focusing on what the song is lacking, as you probably already know it could use more work, I’ll instead focus on what is actually here. And, you know what, underdeveloped though it may be, I think you actually have some good ideas and a lot of potential here which could have been worked with. Whether it was the lack or inspiration or running out of time I don’t know, but what remains clear to me is that you are a great writer, and though this might not be the #1 example of that, there are of course other rounds to come and many opportunities to show that brilliant writer you are! Frankly, I know you have another #1 in you, and this round just didn’t work out for whatever reason, but I’m hopeful for the future! @Element - the antonym Oh, this is the dragging anthem I was waiting for! I love the sarcasm and hopelessness (in a good way) here because I think that’s the reality for what a lot of New Year’s resolutions are! And you have portrayed and given examples for this so well throughout this song. It feels overall very well crafted, the lines are so smooth lyrically and the whole thing is really polished and strong. There are so many lyrics full of such snarky but truthful attitude that make this so entertaining to read, to point out a few to praise which really stood out to me I enjoyed “yet once they feel an anguished crave, all commitments promptly waived”, “so watch the crowds disintegrate, when outcomes don’t reciprocate” and “they flood the gym for three weeks straight, to make their past evaporate” are all so clever! If there was any advice to offer, I guess this could have been slightly longer and maybe had a bridge which offered more expansion on the theme or perhaps a look at a slightly different perspective (eg. revealing that the narrator is one of these people in their own way, too possibly?) but since the whole thing is so polished and strong already it doesn’t necessarily require that and it’s more just a case of “let us have more!!”. Finally, the antonym concept for the song is so smart, well thought out and perfectly used in the song, and the line it belongs to is absolutely killer. Overall such a great job and first entry for the season, I should hope you will bless us with more! @TruGemini - Dreams Come True Damn, right from the very first line you went completely IN with these lines and there was hardly any let up throughout the entire song. This was like punchline after punchline after punchline and there are SO MANY quotable lines, relatable lines and inspirational lines that just like Hug I can absolutely hear this song just being chanted and one of those songs that resonates so well that almost anybody could sing along to it. I think you really, really killed it and as usual I will repeat the praise that I feel I always give you in my reviews: your sense of style, the absolute musicality of your writing, and the freshness that your entries provide here is impeccable. As usual it is so clear how gifted of a writer you are and I’m so glad you managed to end up submitting for this round even if it was late! I also have to say, I really enjoyed your interpretation of the theme and the perspective that you have added to it through this song, and also the added personal layer that you mentioned of trying not just to let go in terms of the New Year and life, but also literally trying to let go of the expectations or chasing after feeling associated with previous songs. Finally, let me specifically praise some lines that I really enjoyed (though there are so many throughout): “been getting sick of disappointments from the dreams I brew, I need to switch up my intentions and the way I view”, “addiction to chasing my past transgressions I need to fix them, buffing my imperfections until they glisten” and my favourite, “it’s like this **** spiritual, or something more than lyrical, my life has been a miracle, I need to let that fear ago” (when I read the “my life has been a miracle” part it felt like such a moment and revelation that the song had been building to, it was amazing). Overall, such a fantastic job with this initial challenge and I can’t wait to see how you approach the future ones too! Edited January 31, 2023 by fountain
fountain Posted January 29, 2023 Author Posted January 29, 2023 While here I would also like to let you know the results for Round 1 will be taking place at 7PM eastern time! That is currently about 17 hours from this post, and there is a countdown to when results will be starting here: https://www.timeanddate.com/countdown/generic?iso=20230129T19&p0=179&msg=GH3+Round+1+results&font=cursive Hope you can be there as we find out where the songs ranked and what average score they each received! As usual we will only be revealing the scores for the first three rounds, at which point the remaining scores for the last three rounds will be kept secret until the finale when the final averages for the season are revealed. Thanks again to everybody who submitted! It was a truly great first round and I hope our reviews reflect that. @Julia Fox @XO_Life @Legend E @8thPrince @DatChickDoe @JoeAg @mxtthewdelrey @Euterpe @Invisibility @Remmy @worldwide angel @beatinglikeadrum @Element @TruGemini
Galah Posted January 29, 2023 Posted January 29, 2023 I'll unfortunately be working during the scheduled R1 results show, but know I'm cheering you all on and will make tokens for the top three writers of the round as soon as I am able!
Kylie Jenner Posted January 29, 2023 Posted January 29, 2023 Love this new challenge. I've been saying that AI and music/songwriting go hand in hand for so long!
ATRL Moderator Legend E Posted January 29, 2023 ATRL Moderator Posted January 29, 2023 Some of the ones the members of discord are rendering are so stunning one I did that I might use is pretty nice too
DatChickDoe Posted January 29, 2023 Posted January 29, 2023 Thank you @Hug and @Aurora for your feedback too!!
DatChickDoe Posted January 29, 2023 Posted January 29, 2023 If it is AI Art - but someone else in the discord did it, can we use it? Because Dancehall Fairy needs to be an acceptable thing. Mostly because I love the image.
fountain Posted January 29, 2023 Author Posted January 29, 2023 1 hour ago, DatChickDoe said: If it is AI Art - but someone else in the discord did it, can we use it? Because Dancehall Fairy needs to be an acceptable thing. Mostly because I love the image. That would be fine, yes
fountain Posted January 29, 2023 Author Posted January 29, 2023 2 hours ago, Kylie Jenner said: Love this new challenge. I've been saying that AI and music/songwriting go hand in hand for so long! Naur it’s true, I can I still hear your vocaloid song in my head so catchy!
DatChickDoe Posted January 29, 2023 Posted January 29, 2023 10 minutes ago, fountain said: That would be fine, yes Thank you!!
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