Golden Hit: Season 3 📀 Congrats to TruGemini! ✨

[sugarshine]

1 minute ago, Hug said:

Not you actually mostly got it

Google is my best friend - is Google your best friend?

 

 

I also had YEARS of experience being a Little Detective. the truth is in her lipstick was our biggest project to date ugh I'm living my Blue's Clues fantaC right now - my inner child is healing those new Professor Layton, RainCode, DecaPolice games can't come soon enough

 

So I'm guessing the challenge will include the Demonic Compendiums of other Megami Tensei-affiliated games

[Hug]

4 minutes ago, sugarshine said:

Google is my best friend - is Google your best friend?

 

 

I also had YEARS of experience being a Little Detective. the truth is in her lipstick was our biggest project to date ugh I'm living my Blue's Clues fantaC right now - my inner child is healing those new Professor Layton, RainCode, DecaPolice games can't come soon enough

 

So I'm guessing the challenge will include the Demonic Compendiums of other Megami Tensei-affiliated games

Yup the full details will be coming with the challenge post

[sugarshine]

25 minutes ago, fountain said:

Hehehe yes, in your case the options aren’t too many  but luckily most of the other players have been in a few seasons by now so there is some good potential to call back to their previous gems!

 

It would’ve been nice to revisit our dolphin friend tho and see them escape

Santa Claus is a LIE!

 

I would totally do it if I didn't just write these two songs like 5 seconds ago I need some space away from the dolphins and multiverses - they are taking over my M I N D

 

Also, I personally feel like I wouldn't ever want to write a sequel to Dolphin Dive. I had an extra idea of fleshing out how dolphins communicate but I feel like Dolphin Dive works better standalone. The ending of the song also gives mic drop energy. A sequel would be cute but it would be very similar to Finding Dory. Cute, but if it ended at Finding Nemo - we would still be gravy. Toy Story 4 is another good example!

 

Now... LATU has endless potential for sequels, prequels since the multiverse concept lends itself well to expansion! I could keep writing about that couple's adventures forever but maybe 6 months from now

 

22 minutes ago, Hug said:

Yup the full details will be coming with the challenge post

when my fbi agent decides to leave cause they're scared of me and closes the door on ha way OUT:

 

ownlee bad ***** tingz

!

 

--

 

ooooh, I'm excited

[Hug]

 

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VRg6kWT3tmYJ5JIQoTFGynQyzEBNzTQoB5M3iuuMwzU/edit?usp=sharing

 

Another day another slay is what I say. Really that's all I have to say bc everything else was said in the reviews and boy did I make a mistake putting off reviews 'til now. Enjoy regardless! 

 

@worldwide angel 

@Julia Fox 

@Invisibility 

@Legend E 

@beatinglikeadrum 

@sugarshine 

@JoeAg 

@Euterpe 

@Prisoner 

@DatChickDoe 

@TruGemini 

[Legend E]

Thank you, Hug!  

[worldwide angel]

Thanks Hug  

[beatinglikeadrum]

Securing that last spot.

 

Thank you Hug for the opinion, I'll try my best next round

[JoeAg]

i don’t want to sound rude or anything about the clocking you part but yes i am actually passionate about this. i think my intricate use of language did come through in the last two choruses but was more of a slow build in the tell-it-like-it-is-ness of the verses. it’s meant to be a song that has realism in the verses and no structure until a catchy outro of a repeated refrain style. idk if that fully came through but that’s what i was trying to do

[sugarshine]

 

Quote

 

sugarshine - “Love Across The Universes”

Okay THIS has the intensity and drama I was looking for. Not drama as in sad but like it feels very grand and theatrical and I love that for you. There’s a lot of creative lyrics in this and I get a sense of whimsy while reading it. Like wow your mind. There’s not really much in the way of complaints from me because I thought this was super enjoyable and nailed the challenge exactly.

Way to go, luv.

Yas, LUVVY

 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I was going for that grand, soaring "omg the worlds are colliding our love is the biggest bang in all of existence" kinda love song. Melodrama at its finest squeeze me tighter than the rings around saTURN why dont cha oooo

 

the yelp review ACCLAIM

 

I might be able to add that Bugs Bunny hit token to my collection

 

Going into this round I really wanted the couple in my song to actually be happy in love, but I did add a little existential element to it because I HAD to - it's a multiversal love song - you can't pass up that sickening songwriting opportunity when it's right there in front of you

 

Also wanna share the spiciest moment of the song:

 

Before my locs fell like platinum snowflakes

But this time I wake up in autumn leaves

You can't help but be frozen

Maybe we can break the ice if I get down on my knees

(This is not our first ride, honey)

 

Flash, flash, flash

 

I was nawt ready for the Break the Ice sauciness to splatter on the page (I wasn't going for that vibe), but it was too good to be replaced by something more... conservative we gotta give the gw0rls a show - let us see some real love, we ain't in the 1950s black and white no more baby we are in FULL COLOUR so let the choir SANG !

 

Thank you for this stonning review!! I'm so so happy.

 

whew, the anxiety is melting away (it's not but let's live in the end like Neville Goddard said  )

 

oooooouuuu I'm happy TONITE

 

let's get iT let's get iT

 

Edited February 19, 2023 by sugarshine

[Invisibility]

Thanks @Hug kind of obsessed that I was your shortest review these past 2 weeks. Short and sweet, just like me 

[Aurora]

1 hour ago, Invisibility said:

Thanks @Hug kind of obsessed that I was your shortest review these past 2 weeks. Short and sweet, just like me 

oh you're gonna love my reviews then...

[Aurora]

 
 

Hey, Hitmakers! If you couldn't already tell from your reviews, we're loving your Valentine’s challenge entries!
While results for Round 4 are coming—most reviews are already posted—it’s time for your next writing exercise.

 

Without further ado, let me introduce you all to the fifth round of Season 3...

 

It's back! Our first returning challenge of Golden Hit... or is it? Three brand new challenges selected by your judges—that's @fountain, @Hug, and yours truly, @Aurora, await. You must select at least one of the following challenges to complete this week, however you are welcome to combine elements from two or more challenges if you wish. Only partially satisfying the prompt of multiple challenges does not a whole challenge make! Will your decision be based on which option you prefer, or find the most creatively interesting, inspiring, or perhaps even challenging to write? Choose wisely...

 

 

 

Quote

fountain’s Sequels challenge
 

For my choice I want to put forward a challenge that asks you to write a sequel to a previous song that you have submitted. We’ve already had a few submissions like this already, but I wanted to create a challenge that specifically asks you to look back at your songs and try to continue their story. Your entry should share a narrative or themes with one of your previous songs and develop it further, for example showing what takes place after the initial song, or provide further context to the background of the original, or a different perspective, but it does not necessarily have to share a similar tone; your original song could be dark and somber, but your sequel song could show a brighter and more optimistic side, and vice versa. My only rule for this challenge is that the original song that is being used as the inspiration for your sequel song must be one that you have submitted during Golden Hit; it can be from any season you have taken part in however if you are referring back to a song from a previous season then please also include that song in your entry for reference. The original song will not be taken into account during our judgment, we will only be reviewing the new sequel song. The sequel can sample sections of the original song but should be predominantly new material, however feel free to use as many references and call back to the original as much as you please otherwise.

 

My reason for choosing this challenge is that typically (and especially with more personal examples) songs are written very in the moment, or with a particular mindset, and it’s not until later in our personal lives that we have a better perspective or our feelings have developed to a point that it is beneficial to revisit what we have written in the past.

 

Here are some examples of songs that work as sequels if you are looking for some inspiration:
Songs that are direct sequels to another—
David Bowie - Space Oddity / Ashes to Ashes
Taylor Swift - Dear John / Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve
Paramore - Let the Flames Begin / Part II
girl in red - we fell in love in october / October Passed Me By / forget her

 

Songs that sample a part of an original and build upon it for another perspective—
Rihanna - Love the Way You Lie / Love the Way You Lie (Part II)
Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind / Empire State of Mind (Part II)
Mary Lambert - Same Love / She Keeps Me Warm
Emeli Sandé - Read All About It / Read All About It (Pt. III)

 

Hope you are enticed by my challenge, and good luck with the round. If there are any questions about my challenge please just tag me and I’ll be happy to answer!

 

Quote

Hug’s Demonic Compendium challenge
 

Many of you may be familiar with the concept of the “Pokémon challenge”, and as a fan of the Megami Tensei franchise, naturally I wanted to make a challenge inspired by it instead. When deciding how to incorporate this series into a challenge, it didn’t take me long to realize the demons are the big appeal. There’s a ton – a grand majority based in religions, mythologies, and folk tales from all across the world throughout history.

 

For this challenge, I would like to see songs inspired by any number of these – so long as they’ve appeared in at least ONE Megaten OR Persona game. If you’re interested in this challenge, but don’t even know where to begin research, I will link you to a list of demons that appear in Shin Megami Tensei IV: Apocalypse (here), as that has the widest roster of any game in the series. You’re not LIMITED to these, however, so long as you’re able to state which game you took your demon from. (For the particularly ambitious, here is a link to a list of every game in the greater Megaten franchise, but demons tend to overlap for the most part!)

 

As an example, Lilith is a demon that appears in Megaten, and I wrote a song called “Lilith” just last season (here), but there are plenty of other directions to take this challenge.

 

Judge’s Tips

📀 You don’t have to use the name of your chosen demon in the lyrics, and sometimes they’re so awkward to pronounce that it’s unrealistic anyway.
📀 It may be easier to think of a religious figure, mythological icon, or folk tale character FIRST, then see if they’ve appeared in any of the games. If you’re already familiar with their lore, that’s less research! (I do recommend trying to look at least a little bit because there’s always the possibility of details you may not have known that could inspire something.)
📀 While I’m more so looking for songs inspired by the chosen demon’s canonical lore, if you happen to be familiar with a demon’s role in a particular game and want to write based on that, I’ll allow it. (You’ll just need to include a brief description in the other information section.)

 

Quote

Aurora’s Poptimism challenge

Hey, Hitmakers! For my “Judge’s Choice” challenge I wanted something that was deceptively simple: write a quality pop track! This may sound simple on the surface, but writing a killer pop hook with dynamic, memorable verses that won't leave your mind for all of the right reasons is easier said than done. This challenge will require a lot of fine-tuning, editing, and attention to detail. I'm looking for something that would sound just as great on the radio today as it will in a decade's time when the youth of 2030 are whining about how they were born in the wrong generation because they didn't grow up with your song.

This is a reasonably straightforward challenge however it should not be underestimated. A lovely, well-written, poetic song may not be a good fit for this challenge if it doesn't have that commercial edge or appeal. A song that is too generic in concept or lyricism without any unique takeaways might be more likely to end up on the cutting room floor than Top 40 radio. Writing radio pop is a balancing act... do you have what it takes?
 

Judge’s Tips

📀 Don't overthink it. The best pop songs are simple, relatable, and digestible by all generations. Keep it simple, without being too predicable.

📀 Keep it fresh. I'm looking for something that could be played on the radio, not that I've already heard on the radio 1,000 other times before.

📀 Have fun with it. Pop music should be fun! I want to see how much you've enjoyed this writing experience, even if it's not your magnum opus.

Songs due via Google Form submission by Fri. Feb 24, 11:59AM EST

 

fountain, Hug, and I are all eager to see which challenge(s) you choose! The top three submissions will earn their writers a Hit Token, so make sure to submit for your chance at one of those. If you have not yet signed up for Golden Hit: Season 3, that's fine! Just submit an entry and we'll add you to the sign-ups list.

 

 

@Legend E@Kylie Jenner@Julia Fox@worldwide angel@JonginBey@Hooker Barbie@XO_Life@Euterpe@Remmy@Element@Invisibility@Blue.@TruGemini@8thPrince@mxtthewdelrey@beatinglikeadrum@EpicSongFan@JoeAg@DatChickDoe@Augmented

[Julia Fox]

Thank you for your reviews  I’m glad you all liked my song  @Hug @fountain 

[sugarshine]

Definitely enrolling in the Poptimism Academy!

 

 

I love this challenge. I feel like writing a good pop song is actually more difficult than people think. I want to hone in on that skill - I've been gradually going into that direction already. And it suits my mood right now. This is gonna be F U N

 

 

[Aurora]

 

Hey, Hitmakers! Apologies for the late reviews, I've already touched on my chaotic week a bit, so thanks for your patience.

I will be honest, I wasn't actually expecting much from this round, but... y'all snapped again. Hard. Like, dangerously hard.

This round now has my highest average from a Golden Hit challenge, besting GH2's Dreamscape challenge by 0.0007 of a point.

 

As always, if there is anything in your review you do not wish to be public, just let me know and I will remove it.

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Bzm6NI9-wnY0MHYqEtnvRx20ycf4mw58hcHoggrhIWw/edit?usp=sharing

 

@worldwide angel@Julia Fox@Invisibility@Legend E@beatinglikeadrum

@sugarshine@JoeAg@Euterpe@Prisoner@DatChickDoe@TruGemini

[fountain]

3 hours ago, Julia Fox said:

Thank you for your reviews  I’m glad you all liked my song  @Hug @fountain 

Absolutely  the song is a magnificent ode to your friend, thank you for letting us read it 

[fountain]

16 minutes ago, Aurora said:

This round now has my highest average from a Golden Hit challenge, besting GH2's Dreamscape challenge by 0.0007 of a point.

Thee acclaim 

[Legend E]

Thank you, Aurora

[Invisibility]

Thanks judge Aurora!!

[sugarshine]

Currently working on my Poptimism song Rainbow High - the title comes from my favourite fashion doll line right now called Rainbow High

 

Here is the first couplet I just wrote:

 

Unleash the crystal waterfalls from your eyes

Create a new river that reflects the sunrise

 

 

ugh the Rainbow High girlies are gonna be so proud

 

Y'all should actually check out the Rainbow High cartoon - it's so entertaining and cute - it reminds me of the Bratz cartoon, the physical dolls themselves are magnificent quality btw. I have the Delilah Fields doll. I love the Shadow High and Pacific Coast storylines too. so juicy

 

also this song absolutely SLAYS - suchhhhh a BOP

 

 

Everybody wants a
Look now I got ya
Nothing gonna stop ya
Look by Natasha

See I caught ya
That's what I thought, ya
Look, look, look by Natasha

 

Honey, gold dust, lip gloss
Feels like money
Disco, metallic, sparkling, sunny

Set spray spritz
Keep it right not running, stunning

DA-DA-DANK JE WEL!

 

they are so F.I.E.R.C.E.

 

 

a baddie!!!!

 

This is the girl group and VOCALS we deserve as a human species:

 

 

 

and YES, Paris Hilton actually exists in the Rainbow High universe

 

I feel like the energy is very much giving 2000s gay growing up with The Cheetah Girls, Hannah Montana, High School Musical

 

This character development still gets me in my feelings:

 

 

 

 

All my life I've been trying
Trying to be me
At the edge of the spotlight
So hard not to freeze

I want to write my own song
On the page of my heart
There's so much I'm unsure of
Don't know where to start

I don't know where to start...

Could this be the night?
Is the moment right?
Will it finally rise?
Will they criticize?

Got a hundred thousand eyes
On me
I will find my voice
And they will finally see who I am

 

my spirit is SHAKING

Edited February 19, 2023 by sugarshine

[sugarshine]

A little something I cooked up based on my starting couplet. It's just a first draft. I might rework this later, but I like how stonning it turned out already

 

You're in the rain
Stars burst to the beat of your heartbreaks
You're in the rain
Your love's friendly with the dirt on the pavement
Headfirst crushed into pieces
Skull hurts but your heart is bleeding more, more, more
You try to find the door, door, door to heaven
But you're still in the rain

 

Unleash the crystal waterfalls from your eyes
Create a new river that reflects the sunrise

 

You're in the rainbow high
Kaleidoscopes for eyes
Shimmering with full spectrum
Of your light
For all the times you tried
To simply survive
In the deep end of the night
You're beautiful this way

Let the shadows fall low
You're in the rainbow high, high, high

 

The way I kept repeating "You're in the rain" and then finally reprising it with "You're in the rainbow high". The emotional weight, how it flourishes. imma have to hype myself up for a bit, wait a min

 

[fountain]

 

Round 4: Valentine’s

 

@worldwide angel - easy for me

You questioned if this might be fitting enough for the challenge, but I definitely think it is! This song is filled with love for me, varying from self love to romantic love, and I think also a little bit of love for life too. This was a very sweet and optimistic song to me, and the positive energy of the lyrics were really inviting so much that I can see this being a love song that would be very relatable for a lot of people. The message here of love in its various forms being something that takes work is true and resonant I think, and I enjoyed how it was explored through the song. While it was aware of the realistic nature of love , I also liked that you still brought in dreamlike and wishful qualities too, such as “conjure up a dream of bliss and let it float, watch it grow” and “why can’t love come like a breeze” because I think that’s a good depiction of how love does make us feel, even despite the effort and the energy that it takes from us, we still always strive for more, and I suppose that is our human nature to crave love. Overall I really enjoyed this entry, I think it was filled with feeling and sentiment and is another great showcase of your writing, good job!

 

Julia Fox - Consuelo

This song is so heartbreaking to read… but it’s also the very best entry you’ve had in any season of Golden Hit. I can personally say that with a certainty. This song to me, simply, completely showcases the very art of songwriting. It’s raw, absolutely heartbreaking, but also really touching seeing the memory of somebody put into a song like this, getting to live the good times through your lyrics and telling the story of you two overall. It’s just stunning and for me there is nothing comparable to the emotion that is incited reading a song like this. It’s completely one of a kind and for me the most powerful and affecting form of songwriting. All this is to say, I think you did a fantastic job. You should be incredibly proud of having written this. I’m incredibly proud of you for opening up like this and sharing it with us. And I think Consuelo would be incredibly proud of you, too. 

Last week you received your highest scoring song to date. I am beyond filled with hope that this will surpass that. 

Stunning job. Thank you. 

 

@Invisibility - Aluminium Sweat

This is an unexpected but entertaining entry. I can certainly say I didn’t anticipate any concept like this for this challenge. When we come up with the challenges, it’s hard to know what to anticipate, but we’re always hopeful that it can inspire some creative interpretations. But I can say, you continually surprise. When coming up with the water challenge I never would have expected it to be taken in the direction of amniotic fluid, for this round I never would have expected it to be taken in the direction of AI sex bots, but it is so satisfying to see. These creative and outside of the box interpretations that you serve are a favourite part of your entries for me, and that’s not to say that you can only continue down this path and shouldn’t serve something more down to earth if you wish, but rather a commendation for your creativity. With this song, I found the concept really fitting for the round but also really interesting; I love sci fi/futuristic speculation and the idea of these bots serves as a great basis for a song. My favourite part here was definitely the rap, which is really well written while keeping a lot of wit and humour to it; I mean “mechanical, rhythmic, the velocity you thrust in, your systems and your body are the only ones I’ll trust in”? Come on! I will say though on the flip side, some of the verses - specifically the first two - lack a sort of lyrical quality to them for me, they are really quite straightforward, and I don’t think that is necessary bad in a general sense, but rather in the case of this song where the concept is very out there I do thing this set up probably could’ve been written in a more interesting way. But, overall, this is a really enjoyable and unique entry, and another addition to the great collection of songs you’ve written this season. 

 

@Legend E - Happy Valentine’s Day, My Love

This is a really bittersweet song. Despite it quite clearly being about a loss and more of a somber tone, the sentiment that stuck out to me the most was that of a lover holding on to the love that they had for their lost loved one and still cherishing and remembering that which I actually found to be very sweet. For me that was the aspect that I really enjoyed the most, and I kinda could have went without the narrative aspects such as the gossiping coworkers, in favour of perhaps some more memories between the two or something like that, however despite that I do think the narrative choice with the song was an interesting perspective and it definitely makes you feel for the narrator and highlights the loneliness that would be felt after such a loss. Overall I think this is another good entry from you, a nice interpretation of the challenge. 

 

@beatinglikeadrum - S&M

Okay so you mentioned that you speed run writing this song, so I took a look at your google doc, and it looks like this was written in about 30 minutes? What I will say is that for something written in such a short amount of time, this is already pretty well developed and well written. I will be honest I kinda have no idea what the narrative here is supposed to be, but your actual writing itself still shines through regardless and shows a lot of potential. Even in rushed instances like this I think it is still clear that you are a great writer and really do have a way with words, what needs to be worked on it seems is how you interpret/connect with the challenges because it seems to be very hit or miss, kinda never know whether to expect a masterpiece from you or something that was hard to write and rushed. Now, not every writer needs to be someone who can take challenges and write a song that fits the theme, most writers just write what they want to write and that works out best for them and it may just be that this is the case for you, but I do think if you managed to work on your adaptability (and this would happen naturally by continuing to try and take part in the challenges even if you don’t initially feel that you connect with them) then it would only improve and strengthen your writing as a whole regardless. I’m glad that you still submitted and wrote this even if you weren’t feeling it and I hope you feel the benefit and the growth from it. I hope that you can continue to try, and that the two remaining rounds hopefully let you shine more.

 

@sugarshine - Love Across the Universes

This was such a fun and sweet song! I’ll be honest, the formatting didn’t really make sense to me even after I read the explanation, but I’m glad that you had fun with it. And I think that’s the thing I would attribute most with this song— fun! You’re really bringing this fun energy to the game with your entries and it’s very nice to see. Multiverse ideas are very hot right now, but it truly doesn’t get old, and I think the use of it and this interpretation of the challenge was great. It’s a really excellent demonstration of love existing and prevailing across many different worlds, universes or realities. I just loved that and found it so fun. There are a lot of playful and great lyrics which go with the theme great too, I specifically loved the Looney Tunes line as that was so cute to imagine! Another really well written and fun creative idea from you, we love to see it! Great job again. 
 

 

JoeAg - When I Took Him to the Park and We Kissed in the Humid Dark

Oh this… this is the serve. I fear this is going to be a controversial statement amongst the judges… but I think this might be my favourite entry of yours all season. You’ve delivered great song after great song, but this one truly feels like something fresh from you. I love your poetic language and way with words, but the way this song goes in a more carnal and raw direction is so satisfying to me. It fits perfectly with the theme for this round and feels like a very refreshing side of your writing. It has a very direct and diary entry-like quality to it, and I found that to be very vivid and easy to connect with, hanging on to every line and wanting to hear more about these loving encounters and your experiences. I really thought it was such a great, confessional and slightly nostalgic/reminiscent song and you totally pulled me into it. And, like I said, this is fighting to be your favourite of the season for me so far! I’d have to studiously look over each song in comparison to be certain, but I definitely don’t have to do that to know that I seriously enjoyed this song. Great job!

 

Euterpe - Is love enough?

This is a really engaging and sweet song. I love this narrative that you have gone for here of the astronaut and the lover left on Earth, and the questioning of how that may impact their love forms a fantastic basis for a song. I just found it a thoroughly engaging and compelling subject matter and it’s a great interpretation of the theme this round. Lyrically your song is well written as always, and it asks all the right questions and contemplates all the emotions that would accompany such a situation really well. One thing I think I can compliment and point out about your writing now that seems to be a common thing is that they are always so easy to read, now that might not seem like much of a praise at first but often we can get songs where it seems to message gets lost at times, the lyrics and their intention can be somewhat muddled, but for you it feels that your writing is always succinct and gets its point across very clearly, which is a testament to your overall writing skill. You mentioned in your submission that you don’t really think this is your season, but I think you are doing great and consistently delivering high quality entries that we have come to expect from you! And this season alone you’ve had some really great entries and taken us far already, from the bottom of the ocean to the moon, and even the end of the world. As consistent as your entries are, so is your self deprecation, but believe me when I say you are fantastic and absolutely one of the most reliable writers when it comes to delivering, and it’s been that way through each season. So thank you for that, it doesn’t go unnoticed, and I hope you can feel more content with your next submissions. 

 

Prisoner - Rivers Flow to You

Very happy to see you join again… and with a great entry no less!

So… you described this as a messed up love letter… but am I wrong for finding this really cute? Asdfghjkl it makes me question if I am understanding this correctly, but to me my take away was that this is a really sweet song about believing that all of life’s trials and tribulations, all the mistakes and the misfortune, are worth it to end up in a place of happiness and content. To me it was a really lovely message and a really great interpretation of the challenge that to end up in true love with somebody is worth going through all the heartbreak/failed endeavours along the way, just to end up finally with that right person, because maybe if you didn’t go through all the rest of it then maybe you wouldn’t have ended up with this person. It’s a great narrative and I think you delivered it really well through this song. The closing lyric itself really cements everything for me, “I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat, if that is the only way we could ever meet”. So charming and well written, great job!

 

DatChickDoe - Because of You

I thank you for submitting despite the setbacks! Now, I know you said you are gunning for a trinity of last place in the rankings, but I fear I enjoyed reading this song. This is honestly probably the more pure and unadulterated love song here, it’s a very straightforward and simple take on the challenge however there’s nothing wrong with that at all. This is a love song to a tee, and I don’t think there is anything to fault about it at all. The emotion and the sentiment is strong throughout, and the proclamation that through love you “I am a better woman, because of you” is just so absolutely cute, endearing and beautiful. It’s simple, but still beautiful. We see a lot of grand and unique concepts, but sometimes it’s the down to earth stuff that can hit the hardest too! If it’s not broken then don’t fix it, right? All of this is to say, even if you struggled this round I think what you’ve delivered here is a really lovely and just endearing pure love song that I think is strong in sentiment and appeal. Good job!

 

TruGemini - Indecisive 

I’m really glad you managed to get something in because you’ve been doing so stellar this season and like you said, it’d be a shame to tank your average with a non submission. Since it’s last minute I can’t expect it to be your very best, and you’d probably agree that it isn’t, but I usually like to focus more on what a song is rather than what it isn’t. What is great here is the rap verse, especially the one after the first chorus, which as always is so well written and so smooth that it simply just jumps off the page and connects immediately. Your flow is untouched in this game. I think what let down the song more is the chorus and subsequent parts, honestly just due to the fact that I don’t think they show off your writing skills as much as your rap sections do. In your raps you always just hit us with line after line of hard hitting punchlines that come together and just work so well, and when you go from really impressively written sections like that to a chorus which feels, for lack of a better word, more basic (as in simplistic, or repetitive), it kinda gets anticlimactic and I think in the case of this song it cuts the momentum that builds during those impressive rap verses. I do think they make sense strictly from a songwriting perspective in terms of the listening experience, as to be catchy and offer an easy hook for the song, but looking at it strictly from the lyrical side I do think they tend to be the weaker aspect of your songs, or rather the element that has the most room for growth. I think my piece of advice moving forward would be to be very intentional with your choruses moving forward, we know and we see every round how fantastic and memorable your verses are, and I think if you could balance out the excitement and energy of those verses with the choruses that follow too, then you are looking at perfection. I’d say ultimately maybe try and experiment a little more or venture out with your choruses a bit, I know you very often write to instrumental and have mentioned it can sometimes be hard not to, but I would love to see you try and just see what you can do to really pump up your choruses to the point that they could maybe even be more impressive than your verses!

 

Edited February 19, 2023 by fountain
Consolidation

[fountain]

Working on the remaining songs right now and will post them as soon as they’re done; hopefully only about an hour or so! 

[Legend E]

Yes, that's what I was kind of planning as well, a sort of Lost in Translation vibe to the song, sort of that loneliness while being surrounded by so many couples around you. Thanks a lot, fountain  

[sugarshine]

Thank you Aurora and fountain for your reviews!

 

The formatting was supposed to be like a sensory experience. Maybe similar to synesthesia? It's like when PEOPLE TYPE IN ALL CAPS PEOPLE THINK THEY ARE ANGRY OR SHOUTING.

 

Blue is the hottest flame. Then yellow. Then orange. And finally, red is the least hot. In real life. This is scientific - not something I made up

 

So when the singer sings

Cause you light up the room

And my spirit burns, burns, burns, burns

Their partner's light or aura in the room is at the hottest flame of blue. And that aura causes the singer's spirit to burn, increasing in intensity. It's like you can feel the flame in their spirit burn hotter and hotter. From red, to orange, to yellow, to blue. The dance beat would also start revving up at the same time.

 

The white flashes are supposed to bring up like an image of a FLASH! in your mind.

 

And I'm too tired to explain the other ones nnnnn

 

I really wanted that to come across because I feel like it's such a cool 4D experience when reading the lyrics. It's not necessary though. Just something fun and extra for the readers to experience like an amusement park or Avatar 2 type of experience

 

I understand that it might have made it more difficult to read though! I was actually gonna make all the words different colours but I felt like it would have been too much for your eyes.

 

The technology is still being developed so hopefully in a decade or so the formatting experience will translate better