tournament Golden Hit: Season 1 📀 Congrats to 8thPrince and Jackson!! 🏆🏆

[Aurora]

3 minutes ago, Legend E said:

Thanks for the review @Aurora 

 

Not me peaking with my lead single! One-hit wonder teas

Oop we're barely halfway through the tournament, your (Au)renaissance moment might come yet I fear.

 

 

Just sent off my scores, wonder who will get their hands on a hit token this round! Sadly I won't be present during the live results show this time but @fountain will have all of the fun and excitement sorted for y'all.

 

I'll try and get those old PH8 reviews sent over to you tomorrow @Achilles. since I am so super tired right now as reviews for this round took way longer than I anticipated (and I anticipated they'd take a while!)

[Aurora]

Oh and since I won't be doing hints for these results, let me just leak my score distributions:

 

9-9.9 - 1

8-8.9 - 8

7-7.9 - 10

6-6.9 - 5 (actually all 6.5+)

[Achilles.]

52 minutes ago, Aurora said:

Okay, yeah, this is a magnum opus. I really loved this—it was topical, it was handled well (not necessarily delicately, but with the right amount of necessary tact while still having edge and impact), it was well-written and had a ridiculously strong chorus tying everything together perfectly (the addition of the “ocean floor” lyric in the second instance was a masterstroke!) There’s honestly very little I wish to fault here, I’m even willing to overlook the “hot day in December” lyric (most days in December are hot here n). The verses that followed the, “Let me tell you what I mean,” interlude had potential to come across as overly preachy, but didn’t too much—I think you achieved a good balance of preaching and genuine unrest. Fantastic submission.

Omg thank you.  
 

You spotted the Madonna reference!

 

Lol I didn’t even think of the fact that the seasons are different in the other hemisphere.  I was trying to flip the saying “cold day in July” while making a comment on climate change. 
 

EDIT: and no rush on the PH8 reviews; any time you have a few minutes to spare is fine. Have a good night!

Edited June 5, 2022 by Achilles.

[JoeAg]

5 minutes ago, Aurora said:

The last thing I'd want to do is make anyone feel bad—if your writing has purpose and you are happy with it, that's what matters most! We're just here to provide whatever insights and opinions we can, and when it comes to language you certainly don't need any pointers. I think it would be lovely if for even just one of the six rounds we could see a simpler side of your writing, but that's just my opinion, if you feel like doing so would be to the detriment of the piece ultimately that's your call to make and I'll respect that. I still gave you a pretty good score, but I gave a lot of entries pretty good scores this round as it was a super strong round overall.

ohhh no you’re totally fine! yeah, i plan for this next week to explore a simpler vibe with the queer pride challenge, i’m already having some anthemic ideas that are more power pop driven than complex and full of arcane ideas

[DatChickDoe]

51 minutes ago, Aurora said:

 
 

  Hide contents

2. @DatChickDoe - “Days Spill On Like Blood”
Not this clocking in at 496 words. However, your opening couplet alone is enough to make up for that. I can see this being a very polarising song, and I think you were very brave to submit it. For me personally, I find it utterly brilliant and definitely your strongest submission thus far by a long shot. Your rapid growth as a writer is inspiring. In the past, I probably would have considered the fourth verse and parts of the subsequent verses too graphic or borderline insensitive, but I think you’ve made your intentions clear enough to understand the gravity of the graphic language and the purpose being to feel uncomfortable so that change can be finally brought about. There were a few specific lyrics here and there that were worded a little poorly to fall on a rhyme and I’d be happy to nitpick specifics if you wished to hear them, but on the whole I found this a bold piece that struck an emotional chord and respectfully brought focus to a very real topical issue.

Thank you for the feedback. I would very much appreciate the feedback and guidance. I would like to polish it up and send it to my state representative. I am tired of seeing good people die unnecessarily. 

[Legend E]

Also for this current theme, would you mind if it's something that is not 100% personal. I have another idea that might be better than that

[fountain]

7 hours ago, Better Mistakes said:

Not us sharing the same birthday with Troye Sivan @TruGemini Happy birthday!

Ahh happy birthday to you too

[fountain]

19 minutes ago, Legend E said:

Also for this current theme, would you mind if it's something that is not 100% personal. I have another idea that might be better than that

Sure, but ideally still about your personal identity please 

[Legend E]

3 minutes ago, fountain said:

Sure, but ideally still about your personal identity please 

Oh sure, I just meant that the 'story' I was thinking to develop is not exactly personal

[fountain]

Just now, Legend E said:

Oh sure, I just meant that the 'story' I was thinking to develop is not exactly personal

That would be fine

[Euterpe]

Thank you @fountain and @Aurora! I realized when I was making the song that the structure and what comes with it would be very different/unique, but decided to stick with it because I had that visual in my head of the Nymph. If my score isn’t great, that’s okay, because to me, I made word count and didn’t have any repetition, which was a feat for me. 

[fountain]

6 hours ago, Hug said:

Guess I'll spoil my entry a bit and say that I wanted to focus on how the idea of being a "man" in society is incredibly rigid and the identities of men that don't conform to those rigid guidelines are often questioned or outright invalidated by other people. I most specifically wanted the focus to be on gay men and trans men, but I think even cishet men who just so happen to be a bit non-conforming could get something from this. I feel very strongly about masculinity not being inherently bad, it's what peoples' ideas of masculinity are that are flawed and need to be evaluated, and I wanted to express that with this entry. <3

 

Happy pride to EVERY part of the LGBT community (although we really should switch to GRSM - Gender, Romantic, and Sexual Minorities)

 

 

 

I’ve never actually seen it referred to as GRSM before but I like that! I fear the cishets would be even more confused that they already are though 

 

[fountain]

3 minutes ago, Euterpe said:

Thank you @fountain and @Aurora! I realized when I was making the song that the structure and what comes with it would be very different/unique, but decided to stick with it because I had that visual in my head of the Nymph. If my score isn’t great, that’s okay, because to me, I made word count and didn’t have any repetition, which was a feat for me. 

I didn’t really mind the structure but just felt the verses could’ve been a little longer or explained more, but don’t worry definitely not a bad score from me  and yes, you definitely should be proud of the song and meeting the challenge 

[Julia Fox]

Thank u @Aurora

[8thPrince]

@Aurora hmm in regards to whether the event in the first verse could shape the average person’s worldview, when I was writing, I wasn’t intending for the subject of the piece to be an “average” person, and was hoping to communicate this person is fundamently outside of the norm with their lack of concern for others, the consequences of their actions, inviting retaliation etc. The event aligns the reaction of the world with how the subject feels it works and sends them down that path. I could try to communicate that more in a revisit in the future, maybe an additional half to the second verse.

 

Seems like a bit of miss for you this time but this is actually a song concept/title I’ve had pocketed for a year probably, I probably prefer it to Fraternite  thank you for taking your time to review!

[Prisoner]

@Aurora @fountain thank you for the feedback lovely judges  and also I really appreciate the hard work, it definitely wasn't easy reading and providing feedback on 20+ entries with each of them over 500 words 

[fountain]

41 minutes ago, Prisoner said:

@Aurora @fountain thank you for the feedback lovely judges  and also I really appreciate the hard work, it definitely wasn't easy reading and providing feedback on 20+ entries with each of them over 500 words 

It’s a pleasure as well though 

[EpicSongFan]

20 hours ago, Remmy said:

 

3 hours ago, Aurora said:

9. @EpicSongFan - “Illusion of Lovin' You”
It was refreshing to see a more traditional song style with this one since so many opted to do away with structure in favour of more free form, chorus-less songs, which honestly wasn’t a requirement of the challenge. That said, I’m seeing a recurring theme in your songs which I would like to address: love and loss are two very common themes in writing and there is absolutely nothing wrong with using them, but one aspect of Golden Hit is to encourage experimentation and growth, and that’s going to be my main comment for you this week. The next couple rounds are going to be a good opportunity to find a really creative, unique angle and work around that, and I look forward to seeing you tackle this. As for this song specifically, there were some really great moments (“Cause now I’m stuck in a lovelorn cycle / Guess I’ll put my chances up to fate”), but a lot of it was rather familiar or predictable. I look forward to seeing your unique style shine through.

Thank you so much for this review!

I agree with your point of view on things tbh! I think this round would be really interesting, like you said, because I think I'll be going in another direction for this round. It'll be a bit personal so it's gonna be different from what I've presented in the last two rounds

 

[Tylerbv]

I think I have a title for my next round entry but literally no lyrical content. Sometimes it’s easier to start that way though i find… maybe I’ll try to not write this one a little drunk

[fountain]

38 minutes ago, Tylerbv said:

I think I have a title for my next round entry but literally no lyrical content. Sometimes it’s easier to start that way though i find… maybe I’ll try to not write this one a little drunk

I start 99% of my songs this way  (with only a title, not with being drunk )

[GentleDance]

1 hour ago, Tylerbv said:

I think I have a title for my next round entry but literally no lyrical content. Sometimes it’s easier to start that way though i find… maybe I’ll try to not write this one a little drunk

The title is the last thing I think about, like after finishing the whole piece

 

[Hug]

Thank you for your comments @Aurora♥ I can only help but agree with it not being very song-like, and that's quite a departure for me when I tend to take pride  in being able to make my lyrics feel like they could actually be sung...I just wasn't sure how to do that when I needed a lot of words, and I felt my usual style would only act as a crutch by "bypassing" the idea or the challenge. Still, a single refrain, a middle eight, or otherwise more tight-feeling part could've made it feel more musical, and I get that. My entry this week, at the least, is more musical feeling!

[fountain]

Hey everybody! The live show for Round 3’s results will be happening tonight at 10PM EDT! (that is roughly four hours from this post)

 

I fear it’s going to be a very close one given the strength of this round, but hopefully we can see this as a celebration of the great songs you all created this round! And it’s definitely worth a reminder not to be disheartened by your ranking, but to pay more attention to your score which is a much better indicator of how we think you did, especially in a round like this where the submissions were so strong! Ultimately I hope you all come out of this proud of yourselves. 

 

Hope you see you all here and thanks again for a really great round

 

@DatChickDoe  @Hug  @hurricane326  @Julia Fox  @OreGuy  @Remmy  @Better Mistakes  @Euterpe  @EpicSongFan  @Tylerbv  @Augmented  @Arrows  @GentleDance  @Jackson  @Insanity  @Achilles.  @Legend E  @Jessie  @mxtthewdelrey  @Prisoner  @TruGemini  @8thPrince  @☆lex  @JoeAg

Edited June 5, 2022 by fountain

[Tylerbv]

Not me probably being drunk again for this results ceremony.

 

if anyone has a copy of my song feel free to post it

[fountain]

Just now, Tylerbv said:

Not me probably being drunk again for this results ceremony.

 

if anyone has a copy of my song feel free to post it

Running in Circles? I can post it if you like