Galah Posted May 20, 2022 Posted May 20, 2022 Hey, Hitmakers! The deadline has passed, and as promised when I posted my previews a couple of days ago, here are my first batch of full reviews! Reviews for the remaining 20+ songs will be written up tomorrow and posted in Batch 2 and most likely Batch 3 depending on submission time. If you have not yet submitted, I will review any entry that is submitted between now and noon tomorrow, my time (approx. 18 hours from now). If there is anything in your review that you do not wish to have public (lyric excerpts, references to your material etc.) I will remove it upon request. Batch 1 1. @hurricane326 - “On a Sea of Glass” Firstly, I’d like to both congratulate and thank you for having the first submission of Golden Hit! There’s a sense of reasoned ambiguity I find which makes your writing intriguing rather than confusing. I especially enjoyed the third and seventh sections and how they mirrored one another structurally, yet the longer lines didn’t feel at all out of place, and only emphasised their importance. The chorus element was simple but strong, and the verses flowed well—I especially loved the third quatrain. The entire piece very much had a “cold water” essence about it, and as far as channelling the element of water, I believe you’ve done a lovely job. 2. @DatChickDoe - “Mud” I like the earth-meets-water approach to the challenge, and I also think incorporating mud into a song about a relationship is an interesting creative decision. Your use of rhyming is fair, however it is easy with AABB rhyme schemes to slip into writing lyrics in unnatural ways to land on a rhyme, so just be cautious of that. Details really make songs about love stand out, and I would have enjoyed a few more unique details—Why is their love complicated as sin? What promises were made? I also love a good bridge, so spending some more time fleshing that out would have definitely elevated this piece. 3. @Tylerbv - “Sail Away” Anyone who knows me, knows I love my water imagery—and this was no exception. I honestly thoroughly enjoyed this entire piece. The structure, metre, and narrative progression were all very sound. I really loved the first quatrain in the second verse—the usage of “stick(s)” there was brilliant. Nitpicks, but avoiding rhyming “new” with itself in the chorus would have improved that section (i.e. “something true” could have worked?), and the bridge feels a little like a missed opportunity to really steer the song in a new direction so to speak—but what you have is sufficient. That said, I still enjoyed this a lot. 4. @Julia Fox - “Holy Ground” Thanks for enabling us to read your entry! This was a very interesting one indeed. If I’m completely honest I’m not sure I understood many of the individual lyrics, but somehow it still made sense overall? Like a puzzle that doesn’t quite fit together, but you can still make out the resultant image. I really loved the third (and sixth) section(s), this was the highlight of the piece for me. I just loved how the spring imagery played into the earth element very nicely. I also really enjoyed the “orange trees” section. While I would say there is room to improve some of the more nonsensical lyrics, on the whole I enjoyed this, and it definitely felt grounded and earthly. 5. @Hug - “RAVAGED” What I enjoyed most about this submission (pardon the pun) is that it’s exactly what Golden Hit is about—allowing creative risks and the exploration of styles you may not frequently use. The pre-chorus was cute, especially the “phoenix from ashes” lyric. The chorus is honestly great, and I can see it shining with a killer melody, but “stuffed like a rabbit” definitely pulls it back a tad, even as a token humorous lyric. Is Hüg your new rap alter ego? If so, I hope we’ll be seeing them more. Within the context of the song, the bridge is perfect, too. You’ve unquestionably channelled the element of fire with themes of passion and lust, as well as imagery and references to damnation, and I enjoyed this side of you! 6. @Better Mistakes - “Plastic Heart” This submission is a lot more straightforward and conversational than the more metaphorical entries thus far—just an observation, not a criticism. The approach of conveying fire through an angry, jealous lover is definitely a good fit for the challenge. Lyrically, it would have been fun to see you play around with fire more without compromising the message of your lyrics, i.e. instead of your plastic heart bleeding, it could have been melted by the fiery rage within. Instead of the subject repeatedly saying they are jealous, perhaps they could have detailed some of the jealous actions they’ve done to show this rather than simply telling it? 7. @Astro - “Hypochondriac” We love an artist development era! I liked the titular lyric, and I think it would have been an excellent idea to use that to steer the narrative of the piece, i.e. finding sickness or concern in otherwise mundane details or non-issues. I find the pre-chorus strong—it has a power to it which isn’t matched in the chorus, which could have worked better as a post-chorus element. It’s missing that focal point to connect these two sections. Your verses and bridge are well formed and conceptually I enjoyed this submission and its overall atmosphere, but a solid chorus and stronger elemental presence could have elevated it. 8. @EpicSongFan - “Scorching Memory” Fantastic cover artwork! This song reminds me of the “Disaster Girl” meme, in a good way of course. You’ve done well to capture your main element and integrate other elements without them overpowering it, and the narrative progression is also good. There are a few techniques you could try to strengthen this—try showing some details, rather than telling everything. Looking at the third verse for example, these lines are very conversational rather than lyrical. They tell a story, but you could try conveying the same message with a touch of ambiguity, utilising some more fire imagery or metaphors to hint at this outcome rather than stating it outright. 9. @Hanami-Blossom - “Skydiving Raindrops of Honey” This submission was very surprising—I did not anticipate worldbuilding like this. It’s a very intriguing angle. It feels like you have all of the elements covered, which is refreshing seeing as the main focus of your song is honey. The creative imagery is wonderful, and the lyrical devices used are advanced and advantageous to your piece. I would have enjoyed another verse section, simply because I enjoyed the pre-choruses so much. A nitpick would be that you’ve used honey to represent many different aspects in this fantasy world—water, love, life itself etc. Using honey in place of just one of these things may have helped bring clarity to the lore of this fantasy world a little, I feel. 10. @RobDeWittBukater- “Stranded in Your Arms” I enjoyed this a lot—in many ways it reminded me of a song I wrote years ago titled “Set Sail”. The strongest aspect of this song for me were the one liners. It’s a familiar subject matter, which means the angle and lyrics themselves have to be really good, and I think you’ve lived up to that expectation for the most part. Lyrics like, “Told by your touch, betrayed by your eyes,” and, “Tonight I kept that promise, well, half of it,” really worked for me in context. You’ve opted for water as your element, and integrating this even further into your song would have strengthened some of these lyrics. Your next step would be to analyse each individual lyric/couplet and think, “Is there an even better way I could convey this thought or emotion?” Otherwise lovely work. 11. @Euterpe - “Ley Lines” This was certainly one of the more unique submissions—I found it simplistic yet complex. Strong earthy vibes, too. I enjoyed the change of pace in the bridge, as the longer line lengths allowed for a more fully realised picture of the narrative that was being told. I think the shorter line lengths worked well for the chorus. Verses are usually the optimal time to steer the narrative, and while I would say you’ve done well with the limited wording, branching out from this more poetic style and providing more content for context could have elevated this. Overall, it felt mystical and earthy, and was a pleasant read. 12. @OreGuy - “Forever Young” Similar to Julia Fox’s entry, while I can’t say I understood every single individual lyric, the message was successfully conveyed and that’s what I find most important and interesting. The message behind the “lightning lore” verse was particularly intriguing, and the “gaslight my mind” lyric was powerful. The overall message of growing older and wishing we can hold onto our youth forever is very relatable, and you’ve played around with lots of natural and elemental imagery which has aided your selection of earth nicely. A few more killer one liners and this is a fantastic start to your Golden Hit journey!
DatChickDoe Posted May 20, 2022 Posted May 20, 2022 3 hours ago, Aurora said: Hey, Hitmakers! The deadline has passed, and as promised when I posted my previews a couple of days ago, here are my first batch of full reviews! Reviews for the remaining 20+ songs will be written up tomorrow and posted in Batch 2 and most likely Batch 3 depending on submission time. If you have not yet submitted, I will review any entry that is submitted between now and noon tomorrow, my time (approx. 18 hours from now). If there is anything in your review that you do not wish to have public (lyric excerpts, references to your material etc.) I will remove it upon request. Batch 1 Reveal hidden contents 1. @hurricane326 - “On a Sea of Glass” Firstly, I’d like to both congratulate and thank you for having the first submission of Golden Hit! There’s a sense of reasoned ambiguity I find which makes your writing intriguing rather than confusing. I especially enjoyed the third and seventh sections and how they mirrored one another structurally, yet the longer lines didn’t feel at all out of place, and only emphasised their importance. The chorus element was simple but strong, and the verses flowed well—I especially loved the third quatrain. The entire piece very much had a “cold water” essence about it, and as far as channelling the element of water, I believe you’ve done a lovely job. 2. @DatChickDoe - “Mud” I like the earth-meets-water approach to the challenge, and I also think incorporating mud into a song about a relationship is an interesting creative decision. Your use of rhyming is fair, however it is easy with AABB rhyme schemes to slip into writing lyrics in unnatural ways to land on a rhyme, so just be cautious of that. Details really make songs about love stand out, and I would have enjoyed a few more unique details—Why is their love complicated as sin? What promises were made? I also love a good bridge, so spending some more time fleshing that out would have definitely elevated this piece. 3. @Tylerbv - “Sail Away” Anyone who knows me, knows I love my water imagery—and this was no exception. I honestly thoroughly enjoyed this entire piece. The structure, metre, and narrative progression were all very sound. I really loved the first quatrain in the second verse—the usage of “stick(s)” there was brilliant. Nitpicks, but avoiding rhyming “new” with itself in the chorus would have improved that section (i.e. “something true” could have worked?), and the bridge feels a little like a missed opportunity to really steer the song in a new direction so to speak—but what you have is sufficient. That said, I still enjoyed this a lot. 4. @Julia Fox - “Holy Ground” Thanks for enabling us to read your entry! This was a very interesting one indeed. If I’m completely honest I’m not sure I understood many of the individual lyrics, but somehow it still made sense overall? Like a puzzle that doesn’t quite fit together, but you can still make out the resultant image. I really loved the third (and sixth) section(s), this was the highlight of the piece for me. I just loved how the spring imagery played into the earth element very nicely. I also really enjoyed the “orange trees” section. While I would say there is room to improve some of the more nonsensical lyrics, on the whole I enjoyed this, and it definitely felt grounded and earthly. 5. @Hug - “RAVAGED” What I enjoyed most about this submission (pardon the pun) is that it’s exactly what Golden Hit is about—allowing creative risks and the exploration of styles you may not frequently use. The pre-chorus was cute, especially the “phoenix from ashes” lyric. The chorus is honestly great, and I can see it shining with a killer melody, but “stuffed like a rabbit” definitely pulls it back a tad, even as a token humorous lyric. Is Hüg your new rap alter ego? If so, I hope we’ll be seeing them more. Within the context of the song, the bridge is perfect, too. You’ve unquestionably channelled the element of fire with themes of passion and lust, as well as imagery and references to damnation, and I enjoyed this side of you! 6. @Better Mistakes - “Plastic Heart” This submission is a lot more straightforward and conversational than the more metaphorical entries thus far—just an observation, not a criticism. The approach of conveying fire through an angry, jealous lover is definitely a good fit for the challenge. Lyrically, it would have been fun to see you play around with fire more without compromising the message of your lyrics, i.e. instead of your plastic heart bleeding, it could have been melted by the fiery rage within. Instead of the subject repeatedly saying they are jealous, perhaps they could have detailed some of the jealous actions they’ve done to show this rather than simply telling it? 7. @Astro - “Hypochondriac” We love an artist development era! I liked the titular lyric, and I think it would have been an excellent idea to use that to steer the narrative of the piece, i.e. finding sickness or concern in otherwise mundane details or non-issues. I find the pre-chorus strong—it has a power to it which isn’t matched in the chorus, which could have worked better as a post-chorus element. It’s missing that focal point to connect these two sections. Your verses and bridge are well formed and conceptually I enjoyed this submission and its overall atmosphere, but a solid chorus and stronger elemental presence could have elevated it. 8. @EpicSongFan - “Scorching Memory” Fantastic cover artwork! This song reminds me of the “Disaster Girl” meme, in a good way of course. You’ve done well to capture your main element and integrate other elements without them overpowering it, and the narrative progression is also good. There are a few techniques you could try to strengthen this—try showing some details, rather than telling everything. Looking at the third verse for example, these lines are very conversational rather than lyrical. They tell a story, but you could try conveying the same message with a touch of ambiguity, utilising some more fire imagery or metaphors to hint at this outcome rather than stating it outright. 9. @Hanami-Blossom - “Skydiving Raindrops of Honey” This submission was very surprising—I did not anticipate worldbuilding like this. It’s a very intriguing angle. It feels like you have all of the elements covered, which is refreshing seeing as the main focus of your song is honey. The creative imagery is wonderful, and the lyrical devices used are advanced and advantageous to your piece. I would have enjoyed another verse section, simply because I enjoyed the pre-choruses so much. A nitpick would be that you’ve used honey to represent many different aspects in this fantasy world—water, love, life itself etc. Using honey in place of just one of these things may have helped bring clarity to the lore of this fantasy world a little, I feel. 10. @RobDeWittBukater- “Stranded in Your Arms” I enjoyed this a lot—in many ways it reminded me of a song I wrote years ago titled “Set Sail”. The strongest aspect of this song for me were the one liners. It’s a familiar subject matter, which means the angle and lyrics themselves have to be really good, and I think you’ve lived up to that expectation for the most part. Lyrics like, “Told by your touch, betrayed by your eyes,” and, “Tonight I kept that promise, well, half of it,” really worked for me in context. You’ve opted for water as your element, and integrating this even further into your song would have strengthened some of these lyrics. Your next step would be to analyse each individual lyric/couplet and think, “Is there an even better way I could convey this thought or emotion?” Otherwise lovely work. 11. @Euterpe - “Ley Lines” This was certainly one of the more unique submissions—I found it simplistic yet complex. Strong earthy vibes, too. I enjoyed the change of pace in the bridge, as the longer line lengths allowed for a more fully realised picture of the narrative that was being told. I think the shorter line lengths worked well for the chorus. Verses are usually the optimal time to steer the narrative, and while I would say you’ve done well with the limited wording, branching out from this more poetic style and providing more content for context could have elevated this. Overall, it felt mystical and earthy, and was a pleasant read. 12. @OreGuy - “Forever Young” Similar to Julia Fox’s entry, while I can’t say I understood every single individual lyric, the message was successfully conveyed and that’s what I find most important and interesting. The message behind the “lightning lore” verse was particularly intriguing, and the “gaslight my mind” lyric was powerful. The overall message of growing older and wishing we can hold onto our youth forever is very relatable, and you’ve played around with lots of natural and elemental imagery which has aided your selection of earth nicely. A few more killer one liners and this is a fantastic start to your Golden Hit journey! Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate your time.
ATRL Moderator Legend E Posted May 20, 2022 ATRL Moderator Posted May 20, 2022 i'll be dragged with regards to rhyming i see x
Hanami-Blossom Posted May 20, 2022 Posted May 20, 2022 Thank you for the review! I kind of wanted to leave what honey represents to the reader's own interpretation, I didn't want to clarify it too much within the song or the extra information section (I was kind of debating whether to include the extra information because I really like when people interpret a song without any outside context). Honey to me would represent "the source of all life" if I had to pinpoint it. I'll take this into consideration moving forward since I am open to learning more and it is rewarding to see what other people think about my song that I wouldn't be able to catch myself since I wrote it. I think I could have some difficulty with being too specific versus being too ambiguious with my lyrics so thank you for bringing this to my attention. I had a feeling at least one of the judges would want another verse! I kind of wanted one too but I decided not to because I didn't want to make my song too long and I like the more unconventional structure. Also, Skydiving Raindrops of Honey is a song that I feel puts itself on a high pedestal for several reasons so I didn't want to add another verse because I think it would be too challenging for me to maintain the same level of quality throughout. Overall I'm very satisfied with my song and once again, thank you for reading through it and sharing your perspective on it! One of the main reasons why I joined this game is to learn and the judges' feedback is a major part of facilitating that so I definitely want to keep myself open to learning, rather than feeling like I need to be on the "defensive" with my song. I do find myself wanting to defend and clarify my original intentions for writing the song and in a way, I don't want to back down from that because I stand by it and I don't want to dim down my own intentions in response to another perspective on my song. However I really want to remind myself to not be too defensive and to be open to learning from others (from myself too) especially since art is so much about what others interpret from it adding on to the artist's original intentions. Even though it kind of feels like I have to "defend my baby" (even when the feedback is positive ), I think Golden Hit as an experience can help me continue to be more receptive to feedback and other perspectives on my creations. I want to make this clear and show that this is something I'm aware about and working on. It's been years since I put myself and my art in a position to have feedback on. I don't want to take the judges' reviews for granted. I truly appreciate the time and energy that the judges put into reviewing our songs and keeping this game together I feel like this might help someone else: Ultimately if you are satisfied with your song, nothing can take that away from you. If you are not satisfied with your song, then that allows you an opportunity to see why you are not satisfied with it. The feedback is not an attack on you or your song, it is just a way of helping you if you want it to. So enjoy the other perspectives and be proud of yourself! We are all different people; different people are going to have different perspectives on the same thing. I find it important to address these things in my post because I can see how people may struggle with what I've mentioned above, so I thought I could shed some light and potentially help. Even despite feeling secure and confident with my song, I know how nervewracking it is to receive feedback - I'm sure others may feel similar too. I think part of what makes this game so wonderful is that we can learn and help each other, even the guests lurking the thread!
fountain Posted May 20, 2022 Author Posted May 20, 2022 7 hours ago, luckystrike said: 32. luckystrike - "picking petals" finished!! just polishing a few details and I'll send 7 hours ago, luckystrike said: sent! it's super rushed tbh so I'm not 100% happy with it but I think I managed to pull off something cutesy Yay, thank you for submitting! At least you got something in, which is better than nothing, and you never know we could end up loving it regardless 6 hours ago, Arrows said: Think I’ve fixed it now! Thank you
Julia Fox Posted May 20, 2022 Posted May 20, 2022 (edited) @Aurora thank you for your review! The song itself narrates a very lesbian and intense experience of two women in the nature -the braid part is the main focus that could make you think it’s two women because you know I’m Julia Fox xx- that’s why I played with a lot of natural elements with sensual things that evokes the passion of making love with someone you feel so atracted and you can’t even explain why… that’s what makes the non-sense lyrical so ambiguous but at the same time Can play an imagery as a whole, it’s intentional and I find cool that you see it though you didn’t get it 100 percent… Edited May 20, 2022 by Julia Fox
fountain Posted May 20, 2022 Author Posted May 20, 2022 (edited) My reviews will be coming later tonight Edited May 20, 2022 by fountain
Hanami-Blossom Posted May 20, 2022 Posted May 20, 2022 I'm surprised at how many people submitted - this turnout is serving London's first Pokemon Center back in 2019 What a successful start to the legend of Golden Hit!
fountain Posted May 20, 2022 Author Posted May 20, 2022 10 minutes ago, Hanami-Blossom said: I'm surprised at how many people submitted - this turnout is serving London's first Pokemon Center back in 2019 What a successful start to the legend of Golden Hit! Nearly everybody who signed up also submitted which I’m shocked by, considering I didn’t even think we’d get that many sign ups it is so great to see
Euterpe Posted May 20, 2022 Posted May 20, 2022 You have a lovely voice @JoeAg! @Aurora Thank you for your comments! The shorter lines were definitely my comfort zone, especially since this is my first venture into songwriting. I aimed to try doing some long lines for the bridge to differentiate, which came out of nowhere from my brain. I hope this helps get my brain into a rhythm of longer lines in the future, and I appreciate your feedback about it. I hope to be able to improve as rounds go on.
Hug Posted May 20, 2022 Posted May 20, 2022 7 hours ago, Aurora said: 5. @Hug - “RAVAGED” What I enjoyed most about this submission (pardon the pun) is that it’s exactly what Golden Hit is about—allowing creative risks and the exploration of styles you may not frequently use. The pre-chorus was cute, especially the “phoenix from ashes” lyric. The chorus is honestly great, and I can see it shining with a killer melody, but “stuffed like a rabbit” definitely pulls it back a tad, even as a token humorous lyric. Is Hüg your new rap alter ego? If so, I hope we’ll be seeing them more. Within the context of the song, the bridge is perfect, too. You’ve unquestionably channelled the element of fire with themes of passion and lust, as well as imagery and references to damnation, and I enjoyed this side of you! Okay I do agree with the rabbit thing. It's funny but doesn't have the same level of impact. While I was going for both like a stuffed animal reference and alluding to rabbits'..."association" with breeding, it was a convenient rhyme to use, seeing as keeping up an AAAA rhyme scheme leaves you with little options at some point. ? REALLY glad you mentioned the chorus, because I've had this "I need to be ravaged" chorus idea swimming around in my head for a while and I mean it sounds like a slay in my head. I might end up producing/recording it if I can ever find the motivation for all that!! Thank you for the review, by the way! The expeditious delivery especially I know isn't very easy ?
RobDeWittBukater Posted May 20, 2022 Posted May 20, 2022 (edited) @Aurora Your reviews are so fair-minded and to the point! And the advice you gave me is really helpful While writing I actually felt myself that I could take the water theme further and really have it be the main theme that would manifest itself in all of the main metaphors used in the song, but I wasn't able to execute that the way I wanted to. Btw is everyone gonna share their songs? Cause I would love to read them! Here's mine, 'Stranded in Your Arms': Song structure: Verse 1 - Pre-Chorus - Chorus - Verse 2 - Pre-Chorus Repeat - Chorus Repeat - Bridge - Chorus Repeat Verse 1: I can tell from the way you don’t look at me And all those words you say you don’t really mean Your love’s become a myth, a beautiful lie Told by your touch, betrayed by your eyes Pre-Chorus: I know you're a false safe haven Still I stay in your embrace Call it comfort or a craving Whatever it is, it won't let me steer away Chorus: My heart is like a broken compass It only ever points to where you are No matter how hard I try to leave I always end up stranded in your arms I swore to set sail for better shores Tried to navigate rivers, oceans, stars But all of them conspired against me And left me stranded, stranded in your arms Verse 2: Promised myself I’d give you a parting kiss Tonight I kept that promise, well, half of it After all this time, I’m still anchored to you If your love has faded, why can’t my attachment too? Bridge: If my heart is refusing me And every exit door’s a dead end Then maybe this is how it’s meant to be Maybe I’m meant to wait till you love me again Instrumental: Edited May 20, 2022 by RobDeWittBukater
fountain Posted May 20, 2022 Author Posted May 20, 2022 First impressions, this was a very solid round! Good job everybody.
JoeAg Posted May 20, 2022 Posted May 20, 2022 3 hours ago, Euterpe said: You have a lovely voice @JoeAg! @Aurora Thank you for your comments! The shorter lines were definitely my comfort zone, especially since this is my first venture into songwriting. I aimed to try doing some long lines for the bridge to differentiate, which came out of nowhere from my brain. I hope this helps get my brain into a rhythm of longer lines in the future, and I appreciate your feedback about it. I hope to be able to improve as rounds go on. thank u!
Hanami-Blossom Posted May 20, 2022 Posted May 20, 2022 @DatChickDoe The concept for your Earth-Water song Mud is so innovative, I love it!
Hug Posted May 20, 2022 Posted May 20, 2022 (explicit content warning!) [verse one] I feel the heat that you’re packing I see the smoke inside your eyes It seems you sparked a reaction Now you’re seared into my mind [pre-chorus] You’ve ignited a passion A burning attraction Now I’m on the rise Like a phoenix from ashes As luck would have it You struck like a matchstick Although it’s tragic I don’t need compassion [chorus] I need to be ravaged ****** like a savage Beat like a habit Stuffed like a rabbit I need to be ravaged Breathing so rapid Hit with some malice Make me go rabid (I need to be) Boned to an inch of my life Show me what Heaven looks like I need to be ravaged I need to be ravaged [verse two] (Hüg) Your body’s a palace, I’ll sit on the throne I’ll drink from the chalice it’s good for the bones Call you my king, but you’re not alone I’ll help you carry the load First, put the ‘D’ in the throat Then put the ‘O’ in the G.O.A.T (DO it) Knock me out like a light Hit it like you wanna fight I’m about that action, choke it and slap it I told you I don’t need compassion [chorus] I need to be ravaged ****** like a savage Beat like a habit Stuffed like a rabbit I need to be ravaged Breathing so rapid Hit with some malice Make me go rabid (I need to be) Boned to an inch of my life Show me what Heaven looks like I need to be ravaged I need to be ravaged [bridge] I’m gonna go to Hell and I know that I don’t give a damn I just wanna **** you so bad If it makes God mad then I’ll let him be pissed ‘Cause if Heaven is real then it’s right on your dick Let me feel the heat I’ll be sacrificed Let me burn forever in the afterlife And I’ll be consumed by a fatal attraction Give me all you got and forget the compassion [chorus] I need to be ravaged ****** like a savage Beat like a habit Stuffed like a rabbit I need to be ravaged Breathing so rapid Hit with some malice Make me go rabid (I need to be) Boned to an inch of my life Show me what Heaven looks like I need to be ravaged I need to be ravaged Oh and fun fact about the cover is that I just took a screenshot from this MV and edited it a tad. It's not left my head since the first time I watched it ???
Jackson Posted May 20, 2022 Posted May 20, 2022 44 minutes ago, Hug said: I need to be ravaged ****** like a savage Beat like a habit Stuffed like a rabbit omg is it getting hot in here
Julia Fox Posted May 20, 2022 Posted May 20, 2022 My song is here if you want it xx Spoiler Holy Ground I touch the skin where your mouth draws I measure the desire to disarm your braid The hands reach where the eyes undress And I don't know the fear of dawn Your eyes, my windows to go out There is in your body so much to say Your hair down, a long way to get lost When you see the heat that you make me feel I'm going to heal myself, I'm going to choose you When I receive what I planted on your skin I'm going to heal there’s a new ground that we reached here blooming like flowers when the spring comes in like a nectar, the sun, water and your breeze you are all I need I touch the skin where your mouth draws I measure the desire to disarm your braid The hands reach where the eyes undress And I don't know the fear of dawn you know you are my ground my ground my ground you know you are my ground On your neck, your laugh, the kiss I gave There's so much time to let go Your hands, the safest place to lay When you see the heat that you make me feel I'm going to heal myself, I'm going to choose you When I receive what I planted on your skin I'm going to heal there’s a new ground that we reached here blooming like flowers when the spring comes in like a nectar, the sun, water and your breeze you are all I need I touch the skin where your mouth draws I measure the desire to disarm your braid The hands reach where the eyes undress And I don't know the fear of dawn you know you are my ground my ground my ground you know you are my ground oranges trees and palms butterflies on my chest the sound of waterfalls birds singing on a wedding sand all over my body but i just don’t care because i have you here I touch the skin where your mouth draws I measure the desire to disarm your braid The hands reach where the eyes undress And I don't know the fear of dawn you know you are my ground my ground my ground my ground my ground my ground my ground you know you are my holy ground
Augmented Posted May 20, 2022 Posted May 20, 2022 4 hours ago, RobDeWittBukater said: Your love’s become a myth, a beautiful lie Told by your touch, betrayed by your eyes I absolutely love this!
Remmy Posted May 20, 2022 Posted May 20, 2022 Here's mine if anyone's interested Remmy "Flowerbloom" [verse 1] He/him hoe with a they/them c*ochie But a big, big bone make me she/her poochie I'm a doggy with a tongue, don't need no Snapchat filter Desperate for water, yeah this flower's 'bout to wilter I know you're h*rny, but just be cautious, this bush is thorny Searchin' for a big boy, so in that case, you're perfect for me And if you need more, don't you worry, let's make this three Like an alien attack, you fightin' back, call you Sigourney [pre-chorus] Baby, I can roleplay, whatever gets you out those clothes If you wanna blossom this rose - I need somethin'... [chorus] Wetter than the ocean, taller than the trees Done this before, so skip the birds and the bees (This is the p**sy that you chose... so show me where you stick that hose) Wetter than the ocean, taller than the trees Done this before, already down on my knees (It's lonely out here in these meadows... so show me how your wind, blooows) [verse 2] Sloppy toppy, he love to rock me Leave me with a soggy bottom, soaked and soppy He knows how to hydrate, my gentle poppys Got me like a flash flood, in Abu Dhabi Oh I'm moanin' and wheezin', he f**kin' and pleasin' Straight to the point, he's got no time for teasin' Make sure I'm not bleedin', and then we repeatin' That c**k is so Grande, gotta remember "keep breathin'” [pre-chorus] Baby, I can dress up, put on some kinky clothes If it makes you blossom this rose- I need somethin'... [chorus] Hotter than the sun, and softer than the snow I'm like a broken porta potty, seconds from overflow (This is the p**sy that you know... give me protein to help me grow) Hotter than the sun, and softer than the snow If you want this garden, you're gonna need a hoe (Let's play a game of whack-a-mole... gotta put your hammer right to my hole) (Hole... hole.... hole...... hold up!) [verse 3] I'm strugglin' to stand, he's holding my hand Feels like I just went through surgery Flipped upside down, just like my world I think retrograde in Mercury All I can hear is boom, boom, boom Wondering what the neighbors assume Bed vibratin', and it's shaking up the room He knows how to make this flower bloom [outro] (Yeah, yeah... yeah, yeah) He knows how to make this flower bloom (Yeah, yeah... yeah, yeah) Oh, he knows how to make this flower bloom
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