tournament PLATINUM HIT 11▴ congratulations aurora ♛

[OreGuy]

2 minutes ago, Gastrodonatella said:

no

I mean, same sis  but my ass gotta prove them wrong  

[touya kinomoto]

29 minutes ago, OreGuy said:

I mean, same sis  but my ass gotta prove them wrong  

@Gastrodonatella We have to try again. At least one last time. Let's show them that we can learn and improve. I believe the judges will appreciate that.

[OreGuy]

Just now, KatyCatPH said:

@Gastrodonatella We have to try again. At least one last time. Let's show them that we can learn and improve. I believe the judges will appreciate that.

that's the spirit!  

[touya kinomoto]

3 minutes ago, OreGuy said:

that's the spirit!  

Have you chosen your inspiration already sis?

[OreGuy]

4 minutes ago, KatyCatPH said:

Have you chosen your inspiration already sis?

yes, and it's 

Spoiler

Bloody Mary

and I'm currently writing it. 

 

How about yours? 

[touya kinomoto]

2 minutes ago, OreGuy said:

yes, and it's 

  Reveal hidden contents

Bloody Mary

and I'm currently writing it. 

 

How about yours? 

That's so Gaga and I'm loving it. I am gonna pay homage to the ATRL gays and use Zephyros as my inspiration.

[OreGuy]

Just now, KatyCatPH said:

That's so Gaga and I'm loving it. I am gonna pay homage to the ATRL gays and use Zephyros as my inspiration.

Ikr, though I'm finding a different way to tell her story. And yasss at you coming for the mythological gig, I'm not that knowledgeable enough n that area so I hope you make it work.

 

I'll try to send mine soon to you and let me hear your feedback.  

[touya kinomoto]

3 minutes ago, OreGuy said:

Ikr, though I'm finding a different way to tell her story. And yasss at you coming for the mythological gig, I'm not that knowledgeable enough n that area so I hope you make it work.

 

I'll try to send mine soon to you and let me hear your feedback.  

You can do it. I think there will be only a few people that will do folklores so you will be a bright spot. I really love mythology and there are a lot of stories I wanted to use but I believe Zephyros' story is something special that Ibhope I can gove justice too.

 

I am not really sure about giving you feedback since I am a newbie but feel free to do so and I'll share my thoughts. Hopefully you can do the same for me too. 

[OreGuy]

3 minutes ago, KatyCatPH said:

You can do it. I think there will be only a few people that will do folklores so you will be a bright spot. I really love mythology and there are a lot of stories I wanted to use but I believe Zephyros' story is something special that Ibhope I can gove justice too.

 

I am not really sure about giving you feedback since I am a newbie but feel free to do so and I'll share my thoughts. Hopefully you can do the same for me too. 

 thank you and I hope you can do yours well too! I was a newbie too like two or three seasons ago, even though I barely made impact, it's fun to witness myself kinda learning. And yes, I will review yours too. Gonna go back writing again! Good luck.  

[Jackson]

2 hours ago, Legend E said:

I don't know if I'll be able to send on Thursday  Could you make the deadline be Friday?

 

Anyway this is both exciting and hard

The deadline is gonna stay Thursday but you can request a 24 hour extension if you give me enough heads up 

[UFO]

ok I think I already finished my song   

[Legend E]

15 minutes ago, Jackson said:

The deadline is gonna stay Thursday but you can request a 24 hour extension if you give me enough heads up 

Ok thanks

[UFO]

A Love In A Lie

Inspired by: Narcissus

 

 

Even if you were just a reflection

I'll hold on tight to everything I have

Which is the memory that I'm capable to love

Even if it is me giving myself that chance

 

Edited August 28, 2017 by UFO

[Mezik]

I am struggling with this one too. This may sound bad, but prior to the first round I haven't wrote in almost 2+ years because I'm usually depressing and only write about heartbreak.

 

When I broke up with my ex boyfriend I was literally writing a new song every night, and now that I'm happy I find it so difficult to put meaning in my emotions that do not sound forced or cheesy.

 

I love Greek Mythology though, so I'm hoping one of the Gods / Goddeses can trigger something.

[ultraviolence.xx]

ok slay at people already being done 

[UFO]

5 minutes ago, ultraviolence.xx said:

ok slay at people already being done 

Nnnn I'm actually shocked I finished it so quick   I'm really happy with it tho

[Tsareena]

 waiting on my other reviews because I feel really uninspired/ a bit defeated from my only review and getting almost eliminated

[Speezy]

Let me conjure up my Medusa S&M anthem real quick 

[ceremonials]

reviews coming in a few hours x

[CountryBritney]

Eeek. Number 2

 

Think I already have an idea for this round thankfully!

[ceremonials]

@Aurora, “Aftertaste”

 

Oh wow. Why would you do this to my wig? I know this is going to be a shorter review, but that’s just cause, well… you were #1, by a large margin. I gave you a 9.5 since at the time Ratson didn’t allow decimals in intervals other than .5 I would’ve given probably a 9.8, though. It was nearly perfect but I did have a few very minor qualms, such as the random AABC rhyme scheme in the first stanza when the rest is written in flawless AABB. This didn’t impact my enjoyment of the song too much at all, but it did take me out of the experience a biT. Other than that it’s hard to poke any holes in a song like this. You know how you did, so I don’t feel I need to sum it up for you, but good job.

 

Favorite Couplet: “I’d rather lose you now before I’m lost for someone else / I’d rather hear your heartbreak than an echo of myself”

 

@MattyTacos, “untitled”

 

Okay, so not exactly the most ambitious subject matter, but I find that to be typical of you; and for the record, I don’t think that’s a bad thing. When looking at the narrative of a song I don’t really check for the scope of the story, but whether or not it’s told well. And if the story is told well enough, you can make even the most tired of concepts shine. But if you don’t have either, it can became a little too vague to have any kind of lasting kind of impact on the reader, and that’s where I think this song suffers the most.

 

There’s also some technical issues, for example I don’t think you pulled off either of those “lucid” rhymes extremely well. There’s a few other questionable rhymes that seem a bit rushed for a writer of your credentials, but I’ll let them slide. The added ending on the final chorus also feels pretty clunky and expositional, although I do like that it gives us some kind of closure. There were sparks of the emotional draw that Erased (orignal) had, and this is where this track succeeds the most for me. Also, the fave couplet I listed at the bottom was probably one of my faves this round  Overall, I think there were sparks of MattyTacos in this, but it seemed a bit rushed and clustered.

 

Favorite Couplet: “That’s a common mistake when chasing love / If you run too fast, you won’t get far enough”

 

@funnellegs, “Constellation”

 

Can’t go wrong with space imagery, right? It’s not exactly the easiest thing to **** up so I won’t commend you for that, but I do love how the metaphor didn’t take precedent over the rest of the songs, and what metaphors  you did have were quite good, particularly the one i noted in my favorite couplet at the bottom. Astral imagery is slowly becoming a PH cliche, and while I definitely won’t dock you for writing about something you could possibly have no knowledge of, in a round where you know a good chunk of people are going to do something similar to you, you have to find a way to stand out, or the judges might subconsciously give someone a much higher score because they prefer their writing style over yours. It makes this a game of chance rather than skill. If you make your narrative unique though, and maybe give it a twist in a way someone else probably wouldn’t - the playing field is even again.

 

But like I said in Matty’s review, I’m not necessarily judging the scope of your story - ie, what it’s about on a surface level, but whether or not the story is told well. And here, it most certainly is - it’s just kind of a predictable way to go for something like this. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing, so keep that in mind. I had some minor things to say about word choice - maybe it was just to force a few rhymes but “if you could be so kind” kind of ruined the tone for me, it sounded a bit too...formal? There’s also sometimes a very jarring shift between literal and metaphorical, I think this was most apparent in the bridge. Like I said, this didn’t impact my enjoyment too much, but it did pull me out of the experience a bit.

 

Still, this was one of my favorites and a strong start for you. You certainly had astronomical ( ) shoes to fill going up against Stardust of all things, and I think you should be proud from the result, but also learn from it.

 

Favorite Couplet: “This moment can’t just be a star in the galaxy that is my life / Come paint a constellation, let the two of us align”

 

@Legend E, “Hourglass”

 

Okay, just by looking at it and not even really reading it I can tell what the issue is gonna be - the structure is pretty erratic to say the least. The long ass lines at the end of each stanza might work with a melody or something, but as is they read as incredibly unlyrical. Your rhyme scheme is also very sketchy but in a round like this I’m willing to forgive that.

 

I don’t want you to be discouraged, though, since most of its flaws are on a technical level. This is conceptually pretty masterful, and definitely a step up from the original. The story is good, and it’s actually told well despite technical setbacks, which is quite the feat for a newcomer, and I personally think you have a lot of potential once you work out the technical kinks. What I think would work best for you is to find a lyrical style that works for you, a rhyme scheme that works for you, and then see what happens. I think the results will surprise you.

 

Favorite Couplet: “She saw the hourglass and there the bird went / Added little stones so the lovers had some more hours left”

 

@CountryBritney, August

 

Oh wow, a legend returns. This is actually the first sawng I’ve read from you I think! Shook. And it’s a sex bop nonetheless. Double shook. For a sex bop it definitely takes awhile to get going though, I wasn’t even sure it was a sex song until the second verse. So in that sense it makes sense as a follow up to Scarlet Bitch. I like that. I also LOVED Verse 2 as a whole, the flow was impeccable and moved the story along logically and swiftly. The hourglass reference in the bridge though stan a bit sister

 

If I had to describe the song in one word it would be...concise. Everything is to the point, and I can’t really poke any other holes in it other than what I already have, which is little to say the least, so that should be telling of how I scored you. I hope to see you slay another season, only this time you won’t be the underdog! Watch out sis.

 

Favorite Couplet: "Conversations  turn to white noise, their shadows become static blurs / It's a struggle to catch my breath now, kissing erases the need for words"

 

@Oxygen, “Deep”

 

Okay so this was...pretty literal. There wasn’t much else to it other than what was going on on a surface level, but in a tournament where so many try to assign meaning to things that just don’t - this literal approach deviated from the norm in a way that was actually kind of...refreshing? The story itself isn’t very refreshing, it’s kind of boring actually, but I appreciate the ARTPOP approach you took with this. It was a risk, and maybe it didn’t fully pay off for you, but it was still nice to see something different.

 

Water imagery must’ve been the nail in the coffin. It’s not exactly taboo, you can still do it and pull it off quite well, but i don’t think it was the best choice to supplement this kind of approach. For the record though I don’t think you deserved that score, and I gave you a higher score than your average. I hope you try for the comeback round, because I appreciate everything this brought to the table, despite your elimination.

 

Favorite Couplet: “Swallowing mouthfuls of water, I’m in too deep / High tides surrendering me, I’m just too weak”

 

@mxtthewdelrey, “A Little Hope”

 

Okay so some of these rhymes felt a little elementary I guess, but never lost their mxtt charm. There’s an obligatory mxtt odd couplet - for me, it was the soap one. Sure most people smell like soap I guess, but it’s a weird thing to state. It still feels for the most part could be a PC song, which adds to its personality for me. I also love the personal details that add virtually nothing to the narrative - I don’t know why they’re significant, but it shows that it’s personal to you, which I appreciate.

 

The narrative is nice, albeit nothing groundbreaking, but nice, mainly cause I feel like it’s something happening in your life right now, so it has emotional draw. In a way all songs have that feeling but you can never really tell unless there are details like these. You’re a very unique writer, but you also know your limitations, which is what sets you apart from the average players, as well as your unique voice in writing. It’s really quite admirable how unapologetic you are, and I hope to see more of that this season.

 

Favorite Couplet: "Part of me thinks I won't see you again / Life would be so much easier without f***ing men"

 

[ceremonials]

ugh i still have another batch  

 

[Hiatus]

Today in college my music teacher wanted us to write and describe our passion for music. I wrote "I am currently participating in a song writing game called Platinum Hit on the forum ATRL".

[Hiatus]

11 minutes ago, Gastrodonatella said:

oh wait what do u major in  musical legend

Education to become a teacher in elementary schools, the music classes are to fill my Arts requirement 

[Aurora]

1 hour ago, ceremonials said:

@Aurora, “Aftertaste”

 

Oh wow. Why would you do this to my wig? I know this is going to be a shorter review, but that’s just cause, well… you were #1, by a large margin. I gave you a 9.5 since at the time Ratson didn’t allow decimals in intervals other than .5 I would’ve given probably a 9.8, though. It was nearly perfect but I did have a few very minor qualms, such as the random AABC rhyme scheme in the first stanza when the rest is written in flawless AABB. This didn’t impact my enjoyment of the song too much at all, but it did take me out of the experience a biT. Other than that it’s hard to poke any holes in a song like this. You know how you did, so I don’t feel I need to sum it up for you, but good job.

 

Favorite Couplet: “I’d rather lose you now before I’m lost for someone else / I’d rather hear your heartbreak than an echo of myself”

Not Jackson's scoring system sabotaging me a biT. But no, I completely understand why you teetered the way you did. The "floor/talk" was supposed to be a slant rhyme (therefore still AABB), but you wouldn't be the only person who pointed that out.  Slay at your favourite couplet being mine, too! Thanks for still pushing on with these reviews.