tournament PLATINUM HIT 11▴ congratulations aurora ♛

[Jackson]

Scores are in my inbox, my reviews are ready

 

 

[CountryBritney]

[UFO]

5 minutes ago, Gastrodonatella said:

what kind of cackle would it be if i spent this whole time dragging corsola for not competing just to find out i got dropped the same round as her  a silver lining if i do get dropped

it will be the biggest KII I've had in a while if you do indeed get eliminated

 

 

and the fact that "mommy" would be one of the reasons has me screaming  

[Jackson]

 

@mxtthewdelrey - A little Hope

“You smell like perfume and cigarettes, and I just smell like soap” can you explain what exactly you were going for here? Was it supposed to just fit the rhyme scheme or is it supposed to portray a difference in class or personality or something? You had some cute imagery here, but there were a lot of strange lines mingled in as well (which I’ve seen from you before). Not sure why you chose to mention Kuwait specifically. I’m glad to have you back though!

 

 

@ICEY - Meet You in Space

I was about to drag you for “guaranty”, but after a quick google I learned that it’s actually an acceptable, albeit defunct variant of “guarantee”. You had the start of some good imagery here. I would have loved to see something a little more descriptive than “deep dark seas”, for example. Typically, I’d try to avoid doubling up on adjectives to describe one noun. Try to find one, more descriptive, possibly longer word if you’re trying to full up space. This wasn’t a bad debut at all, though. Your sense of meter was good for the most part and I could possibly see some potential in you.

 

 

@Covergirl - Drowned in Neon

This is America, we spell gray with an A Nikolas. I can’t remember many strictly storytelling songs like this from you, so it was a welcome change. That being said, when you’re writing a song like this you have to be really careful with specifics. “We ordered the same lunch every week” doesn’t quite sound poetic enough to work in most songs in my opinion. You can certainly write a song about eating lunch at a fast food place, but I’d maybe find a prettier way to say it. I do see some growth in your writing, though. “The blue lights that always shined/matched the innocence in my eyes” was a really good couplet. You took the title in a really cool direction as well. Otherwise, my only other complain was that you occasionally succumbed to awkward rhymes. 

 

 

@Tsareena - Cherry Liquor

This song was a little too blunt for my taste. Whereas the original Scarlet Bitch felt more dynamic, this was a blow after blow type song from verse one to the final chorus. Your language was also a bit plain, but I don’t think that was directly your fault. You chose to operate in really short line lengths, which limits what you can do with your words. I’d suggest trying to give yourself a little more room to explore your style.

 

 

@PoKiTaurus - Magic Man

Were you trying to bribe me with those Katy references? “Like the fourth of July”/“And I’ll let you be my witness”. There was some cute imagery here, and I felt a little bit of the emotion you were trying to portray. I would have appreciated a bit of a storyline here as well. I breaking the metaphor a little more often would have made the song a lot more powerful. Also try to be a little more adventurous with your word choice.

 

 

@Mezik - Glow

As far as structure, imagery, and emotion go, you executed all three adequately, and each to varying levels of success. There were a couple lines that could have been executed better, like “it’s as if you’re shielding me from the whole world”, but a lot of it was pretty strong as well. Overall, your emotion came through as authentic and that helped me get over some of the smaller technical errors.

 

 

@SaintWest - Train

So apparently you had a major glo up in 10.5. This was a good example of using a strong metaphor throughout a song that never seemed to overtake the underlying meaning. There was a great balance of emotion and imagery here. There were a few lines I didn’t love, like “depot” and “fisherman”, but they didn’t take away too much from the song as a whole. 

 

 

@ausdaniel - Lonely Night (A Higher Power pt II)

First off: there was a small typo in the chorus (unless it’s different in Australian English), which wasn’t really a problem overall but just something to pay attention to in the future. This was actually a pretty strong entry. If I were to give you any advice, I’d just say to maybe forego a typical poppy chorus and use your space more wisely.

 

 

@Lucky#17 - Movements

This type of song is typically pretty risky for a Platinum Hit song. It was pretty poppy and clubby, but your imagery made the song pretty good overall. My main complaint is that there appeared to be a lack of structure/meter in the verses, which made the song feel poem-y in places. Still, a strong debut.

 

 

@Dylobs - Let the Water Fall

This is one of my favorite songs from you! To start off with a couple things I didn’t like, lines like “cascades down a torso sleek”/“trickles off these fingers slim” were a definite no-no. This is English, order your sentences as such. I didn’t really like the pre chorus either. The imagery in the song was pretty strong, and the sense of emotion was present throughout. Good start to the season, sis.

 

[UFO]

Quote

Serving class, taste and manners since 1996

Yaaas! I love this     @CountryBritney 

 

inb4 CountryBritney comes for BLOOD again out of nowhere    

[UFO]

Quote

I was about to drag you for “guaranty”, but after a quick google I learned that it’s actually an acceptable, albeit defunct variant of “guarantee”.

WAIT WHAT   ajfhajf I've learned something new today

 

themoreyouknow.gif

[mxtthewdelrey]

1 minute ago, Jackson said:

@mxtthewdelrey - A little Hope

“You smell like perfume and cigarettes, and I just smell like soap” can you explain what exactly you were going for here? Was it supposed to just fit the rhyme scheme or is it supposed to portray a difference in class or personality or something? You had some cute imagery here, but there were a lot of strange lines mingled in as well (which I’ve seen from you before). Not sure why you chose to mention Kuwait specifically. I’m glad to have you back though!

The line about perfume/cigarettes/soap was just meant to be about how particular he smells but I just smell normal I think! I used to hate the smell of cigarettes but now it's starting to grow on me because I link it to his scent  

 

Kuwait

 

Glad to have YOU back sis! 

 

Love this review

[poki]

I'm Mr. oh my God that Poki's shameless.

 

 

Better reaction than I thought. I'm glad I manage to get a bit of emotion through the song, I will work on my word choices better 

 

 

[UFO]

Quote

“You smell like perfume and cigarettes, and I just smell like soap”

I don't wanna shower even if I stink teas:

 

 

Edited August 27, 2017 by UFO

[mxtthewdelrey]

Just now, UFO said:

I don't wanna shower even if I stink teas 

 

 

We love Zara's best song  I could only dream of writing a masterpiece as good as this

 

[Denim]

Awwww!! Thanks so much for the great review Jackson. I agree, this was definitely a change in my writing, I've never written a narrative like this before and I could definitely improve in some areas like you said!! And thanks for spelling my full name right, not many people can do that! king of english! Much love!! <3

 

[UFO]

Just now, mxtthewdelrey said:

We love Zara's best song  I could only dream of writing a masterpiece as good as this

 

Never Forget You, Symphony, I Would Like and TG4M are better but yes!   

 

Funeral is so good too ugh   

[Tsareena]

10 minutes ago, Jackson said:

@Tsareena - Cherry Liquor

This song was a little too blunt for my taste. Whereas the original Scarlet Bitch felt more dynamic, this was a blow after blow type song from verse one to the final chorus. Your language was also a bit plain, but I don’t think that was directly your fault. You chose to operate in really short line lengths, which limits what you can do with your words. I’d suggest trying to give yourself a little more room to explore your style.

I was really focused on maintaining some form of meter but thanks for the review 

[mxtthewdelrey]

Just now, UFO said:

Funeral is so good too ugh   

Is it?

[Jackson]

@ultraviolence.xx @Lémur @UFO @KatyCatPH @Hug @skwonderfactory @Gastrodonatella @keshaspearsxo @OreGuy @EJQL8 @Nait Phoenix @Speezy @Glassmouth @Aurora @MattyTacos @funnellegs @FCKNAmbrosia @Legend E @CountryBritney @Oxygen @mxtthewdelrey @ICEY @Covergirl @Tsareena @PoKiTaurus @Mezik @SaintWest @ausdaniel @Lucky#17 @Dylobs

 

NO MORE ****ING AROUND LET'S GO

 

[ultraviolence.xx]

with 30 subs i wonder how many are moving on

[Denim]

how many people are being eliminated eeek

[UFO]

Just now, mxtthewdelrey said:

Is it?

yes     it's not the best song ever but there's just something about how the way that chorus HITS you

whew! 

 

I wish you everything you've ever wanted in your life
This tastes so bittersweet, it's like I'm going under
Burn all the letters, all of my secrets
Things only you'd know
Bury my heart six feet under, throw us a funeral
I wish you everything you've ever wanted in your life

 

[mxtthewdelrey]

1 minute ago, Covergirl said:

how many people are being eliminated eeek

Zero!

[Glassmouth]

[Jackson]

 

For today's results show, we're going to be weaving a bit in and out of the rankings...

 

 

But first, let's reveal our first contestants to go TOP 10 this season.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Please congratulate...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

at 10, 9, and 8..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

@Covergirl

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

@ultraviolence.xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and @Nait Phoenix

[UFO]

Yas!    

 

Hopefully I don't flop too hard

 

[Jackson]

2 minutes ago, Covergirl said:

how many people are being eliminated eeek

5

[mxtthewdelrey]

Just now, UFO said:

yes     it's not the best song ever but there's just something about how the way that chorus HITS you

whew! 

 

I wish you everything you've ever wanted in your life
This tastes so bittersweet, it's like I'm going under
Burn all the letters, all of my secrets
Things only you'd know
Bury my heart six feet under, throw us a funeral
I wish you everything you've ever wanted in your life

 

I really like the lyrics, but I've always found the instrumentation to be painfully generic, like a bad Eurovision entry. The melody kinda goes nowhere as well. Bitch SINGS on this song though, queen of vocals

[UFO]

  

 

I was expecting Uvie to be a little higher, ngl

 

congrats g0rls!