ATRL Moderator Legend E Posted September 26, 2022 ATRL Moderator Posted September 26, 2022 Thanks, fountain
Galah Posted September 26, 2022 Author Posted September 26, 2022 Going to try to finish up my reviews tonight, I've had another very long day today so I'm quite tired but I really want to get these out for you all.
worldwide angel Posted September 26, 2022 Posted September 26, 2022 thank you for such kind words @fountainΒ
Hug Posted September 26, 2022 Posted September 26, 2022 Okay I looked into Tetris effect as well, and I am positive I've experienced it on some level. I've heard music from games I've been playing even when I wasn't playing the game and I've had dreams that followed the logic of a particular game before. I remember asking people if they've experienced something similar and people would be like ??? so now I will just show them this because it explains what I felt a lot better.Β
fountain Posted September 26, 2022 Posted September 26, 2022 22 minutes ago, Hug said: Okay I looked into Tetris effect as well, and I am positive I've experienced it on some level. I've heard music from games I've been playing even when I wasn't playing the game and I've had dreams that followed the logic of a particular game before. I remember asking people if they've experienced something similar and people would be like ??? so now I will just show them this because it explains what I felt a lot better.Β !! Β I used to see myself as if I were within or a part of the game, and the blocks would be falling down above me, which would be fine at first but then more and more blocks would appear at once and it was quite anxiety inducing. I havenβt experienced since I was a kid, but it was a recurring dream back then for whatever reason. Really odd. To be fair though, I also used to sleep walk every night around the same time, so my sleep was already troubled anyway.Β
fountain Posted September 26, 2022 Posted September 26, 2022 Iβll be hosting results later tonight, Iβll hit you with a time soon for when to expect them! They may be a little quicker than usual as Iβm not at home and will be posting them from mobile.Β
fountain Posted September 26, 2022 Posted September 26, 2022 Hi everybody Round 5 results will take place tonight at 7pm eastern time! That is 5 hours from this post.Β Β Hope you can be there to see how all the songs did!Β Β Iβll be hosting these results away from home and posting them from my phone so it may be quicker than usual. Β Looking forward to seeing the results! Β @camfuckingrockwellΒ @Kylie JennerΒ @hurricane326Β @XO_LifeΒ @HugΒ @TruGeminiΒ @AlldayΒ @Julia FoxΒ @beatinglikeadrumΒ @AugmentedΒ @Legend EΒ @EuterpeΒ @JoeAgΒ @ElementΒ @worldwide angel
Galah Posted September 26, 2022 Author Posted September 26, 2022 Β Β Hey, Hitmakers! Sorry my reviews are so late this week, it's been chaotic for me. As such, no fancy puns or anything, I'll get right into the Dreamscape! If there is anything in your review that you do not wish to have public (lyric excerpts, references to your material etc.) I will remove it upon request. Β Β 1. @camfuckingrockwellΒ - βParadiseβ Firstly, welcome back! Iβm glad to see you found another challenge that was particularly inspiring to you. Thinking back to your first entry βBluebirdβ, I think there was a lot of untapped potential there that could have been realised with a longer piece. I definitely feel that this song is a step up in that regard, but where your first submission felt like a strong starting point, this similarly feels like a strong second or third revision that could be bolstered even more. Youβve set the tone of the song early, which is great, but Iβm craving some more specific little details. Why has life been so cruel? What is your idea of paradise, is it a beach by the shore, or something more? What is the reasoning behind the sadness constantly creeping in? The framework is there and you definitely have some lovely natural poetic tendencies, but Iβm struggling to see your individual voice as a writer, and itβs something I really would like to get to know. I hope you submit for the final round, and continue to show us the improvement itβs clear youβre capable of! 2. @Kylie JennerΒ - βEphemeralβ Loving this title and concept out of the gate. Honestly, Iβll cut to the chase and admit this was my favourite offering from you in this tournament so far. I love the Aliennia bops as a whole package, but this was an exceptionally well crafted song for this challenge and definitely put lyricism in the forefront. Your chorus section was simply magnificent, the way each lyric just flowed so seamlessly from the last. Iβm trying to think of some constructive criticism or any part that could be elevated, but... I simply canβt? This is deceptively simple, but simplicity done right. Everything has a purpose. The way the sections mirror one another yet stand alone in their own right creates a sense of familiarity without feeling uninteresting. Itβs all just so captivating. I genuinely canβt fault this, and I wonβt try to! I hope to see you in the final round, and know whatever direction you take will be a serve. 3. @hurricane326Β - βA Conversation With Nikβ This was a unique interpretation of the challenge. Iβd like to clarify that while I understand your intentions behind taking this riskβand donβt consider you to be like Nikβit doesnβt match the heights of your earlier material for me. Your genuinely interesting concept aside, the nature of the piece pushes it more into the realm of conversational fiction. Iβm not saying it couldnβt be crafted into a songβI did listen to the Joni song you referencedβbut when youβre already doing away with so many fundamentals of songwriting in this tournament such as sheet music composition or vocals to showcase melody and rhythm, all that youβre really left with are the lyrics to reinforce the song-like nature of a poetic piece of writing, and I donβt believe this style of song has achieved that. Its relation to the dream aspect of the challenge is also relatively arbitrary, as thereβs not really any way to prove or disprove that you dreamt thisβwhich could be okayβbut there isnβt really anything else to reinforce the connection to the dreamscape theme beyond this. You came into this tournament hungry and gave us one of the best 1-2-3 punches since Jacksonβs R2-4 run in GH1, and have similarly seemed to take a bit of a side step with these last couple of submissions. I canβt wait to see what you bring in the finale, as I have a feeling itβs going to be down to the wire. Pause and reflect on what made us love your initial entries so much! 4. @XO_LifeΒ - βDreamscapeβ Intriguing title. I enjoyed that your interpretation of the dream theme was an idyllic fantasy βworld peaceβ vibe, and I think that very much suits you as a writer from what weβve seen in this tournament thus far. What I really loved about your last offering βOnly Ones Who Knowβ was the unique detailed descriptors you utilised that really painted a crisp picture and added a rather unique visual element to your song. Unfortunately, I didnβt get a lot of that with this one. I hate using the word βclichΓ©β as a negative because I personally think incorporating and subverting clichΓ©s can be a really great tool in pop, but the majority of the lyricism here was very nondescript and conveyed the right ideas in not necessarily the right manner. A lot of the rhyming here felt rather rudimentaryβthe βnews/Jewsβ rhyme was the worst offender in a chain of easy rhymes. I will say I absolutely loved your chorus-closing lyric, βManifest this dreamscape into our present dayβ, this was stellar. Youβre undoubtedly a promising pop writer and I canβt wait to see what avenue you explore in the finale. 5. @HugΒ - βThe You I Rememberβ Biiiiitch... the YOU I remember is serving and scalping me every week like this. I was your biggest stan last week and I might just be again... maybe. Hear me out. I donβt know if Iβm just stupid, but the final line of your pre-chorus βEveryone that knew you knew you were so much moreβ just didnβt work for me AT ALL. Between the lack of punctuation, double βknew you knew youβ, and non-rhyme of were/more, it just felt like such an off decision for me? Which is honestly such a shame, because I couldnβt fault anything else. This was such a sublime entry packed with emotive pull, stunning progression, and an all-too-relatable concept. You really took us on a journey of life in two verses and two choruses, and it feels so whole without being rushed through. I was going to clock the β[girl] I couldnβt seem to tellβ lyric in the outro at first, but then it clickedβitβs like when youβre dreaming and you canβt really place the face and it could just be a random passerby you saw a few days ago that your subconscious and manifested into this dreamscape NPC of sorts... genius. I wish I could give you a 10 again, but alas... seeing you go from strength to strength this season has been a pleasure, and I hope you continue to impress us in the finale, because without having crunched all the numbers, you might be in with a good shot at taking this thing out. 6. @TruGeminiΒ - βSame Old Discussionsβ You know what? I ******* LOVED this. I actually got Doja Cat vibes partway through and then I couldnβt NOT imagine Doja on this song for some reason. I can hear her bringing that infectious energy to this and just turning it into this really tight pop/R&B/hip hop kind of vibe. I checked out the instrumental you wrote to as well after already coming to this conclusion, and it kind of reminded me of a more percussive, lo-fi βKiss Me Moreβ? You really do have one of the most polished and distinguishable commercial styles in this tournament, and I think you played to your strengths well with this one, as almost every lyric hits. On top of this, I love your connection to the dreamscape elementβitβs essentially the song form of realising youβre dreaming mid-dream, and trying to break through. The βincorrectβ chorus element appearing partway through the verse was such a slay tactic and brought some theatrics to this song. Thereβs a handful of rhymes here and there that arenβt as engaging as others, so Iβd say your next hurdle is just refining that consistency a bit and making sure all of the fantastic internal and prolonged rhyming is equally matched by fantastic individual lyrics and setups for punchy one-liners. Otherwise, this is almost up there with βSweet Releaseβ for me! I canβt wait to see what you bring to the finale (and secretly-not-so-secretly hope you make use of the βGolden Barsβ challenge mix option!) 7. @AlldayΒ - βNight Terrorsβ Okay, this was kind of your best song yet? I feel like I keep saying that every week but itβs honestly true, we love continual improvement! This was a pretty standard interpretation of the challenge but a gripping one nevertheless. I definitely related to this song a lotβthe seeing shadows, feeling unable or unwilling to move or breathe too loud, sensing a presence etc. Itβs not a fun time! I love how youβre also single-handedly bringing the exclamation point back into commercial lyricism... itβs about time she got her flowers! All in all I think youβve written about a strong, relatable concept in a way thatβs easy to digest and appreciate. I think the bridge could have been a good moment to go a little bit more in depth in regards to what the βdemonβ might have been/represented, and provide a bit more tension/release as to whether you conquered the demons or if they conquered you, but ultimately this was a nice entry. Hope to see you submit for the finale! 8. @Julia FoxΒ - βBlurryβ This was pretty brilliant. Iβm excited to see you return to that βvintageβ era lyricism a bit (I know I keep harping on about this, but it really was that good!) I love how you drew so much potential from this challenge and addressed dreams, visions, fears, even paralysis, but it felt very natural, in an almost stream of (un)consciousness easy? In fact, if it werenβt for your (great!) chorus, this would be a pretty nice fit for fountainβs βfree formβ challenge in this weekβs finale. The metaphors you have used painted a lovely scene and definitely felt dreamlike. I love the idea of a past that isnβt past yet... knowing something is over, but being unable to completely let go. I donβt really mind profanity in songs, and I think how youβve used it is at its best, as itβs a real turning point in the narratorβs mind I think, breaking through that inability to let go of the past somewhat, or at least realising they should try. As such, I think a different final chorus may have suited this better, but overall this was stunning and Iβm looking forward to what you bring to the table in the finale! 9. @beatinglikeadrumΒ - βC13H16N2O2β This title is an absolute serve already. We stan science! Iβm currently up at 5 AM finishing these reviews so Iβm very sleepy (fitting for the Dreamscape challenge!) but your song honestly has me Wide_Awake.mp3. You had me captivated from the very first lyric, honestly: βLord of the dreams, build my desires with your sand.β But wow, what an opener! It didnβt let up from there either, if I were in a dream I think my jaw would be on the floor and my eyes would be sparkling while reading the rest of your first verse, then your pre-chorus, then your chorus, and finally the rest of your song. The care that was put into each and every line to conjure up a vivid, beautiful dreamlike scene was mesmerising... the pre-chorus flowing into the chorus like dreams fade into one another... even touching on more serious dreams like reconnecting with passed loved ones, dreams rendering death βpowerlessβ... it just keeps getting better. The bridge was another lyrical serve after serve! Not to mention the science/biology/abstract language integrations that felt so purposeful to this pieceβ¦ a visionary. This was quite honestly one of my favourite songs Iβve had the pleasure to read not just this season, not just this tournament, but in all of my years judging ATRL songwriting tournaments. As such, youβve earned a very large 10 from me. Exquisite. Iβm running out of adjectives to say βI loved this!β Please snap again like this in the finale. Β 10. @AugmentedΒ - βThe Fallβ Oh my, a continuation from last weekβ¦ your mind. Although I might have to disagree, I donβt think itβs quite on the same level as βThe Battleβ... because this one is even better! The Augnaissance is definitely upon us. This was such a compelling read from start to finish, and has some of your best lyricism up there with βWhen Tradition Fallsβ and βNight owlβ. I loved your use of rhyming in this song matched with the more elevated language, it worked really well for this piece. I really enjoyed the βspiderβs silkβ section, and how all of the lyrics kind of toyed with this image and left us with one of a helpless being caught in a web. I also really like your approach to ending this song, itβs nice to sort of end on an ambiguity because it does have the reading that it could be a good ending, but also leaves you with the knowledge that this perpetual nightmare will return with each dayβs end. This was definitely another top-tier offering from you, and I am absolutely anxious to see what you submit for us in this weekβs finale challenge. Β 11. @Legend EΒ - βFloating By (ΒΏ-zzz-?)β Why is everyone busting out the creative titles for this challenge? I kind of love it! Will the βDreamscapeβ challenge be our first returnee in a future season? Fortunately I donβt suffer from insomnia, but I can relate to this in some was as Iβve had more than a few sparse sleepless nights in recent weeks (mostly stress-related, in fact last night was one of them as Iβm up at 5 AM doing reviews!) Iβm really glad you clarified the 4-7-8 thing because I honestly thought it was just you follow on from the βmiscounting sheepβ idea in the prior line, and honestly knowing the true lyric, I like its placement in the song because it could be interpreted as either? The 4 AM lyric was very much giving Taylor (Iβm only half joking). This was a really strong offering from you yet again. Itβs honestly probably up there with one of my favourites of yours! The prechorus was so creative and descriptive and set the perfect scene, and I loved the alarm being an βorchestraβ (although I think most of us wouldnβt be so generous in labelling our alarms as such!) Good luck in the finale, I look forward to another LegendEry masterpiece. Β 12. @EuterpeΒ - βDid you hear that?β Omg I had NO idea this was a thing, but Iβve experienced it many times before! Literally JOLTS you awake, and for what? I just have never talked to anyone about it before becauseβ¦ I mean what do you say? And often you forget about things like this that happen in the middle of the night unless something randomly happens in the light of day to trigger that similar emotional response. At least in my experience! Storytime over, but thank you for educating me on a phenomenon I didnβt even know Iβd experienced. I think my favourite part of this song is that itβs obviously highly conceptual. The structure is intelligently crafted in the way the lyrics are, much like the nominal exploding head syndrome, like a jolt or sudden aspect, and the quick, short, almost stabby lines definitely mirror that. I don't think it makes for the most mesmerising reading experience of the round I have to say, but I think the idea is really creative and I genuinely did enjoy this piece and its creativity. Iβve loved so many songs this round, and yours is no exception, so itβs like splitting hairs at this point, and I think the concept and execution outweighed the individual lyricism and sort of took away from potential to have any standout one-liners to a degree. I donβt want you to misinterpret this as a negative review overall though, and I am so excited to see what you have for us in the finale. Β 13. @JoeAgΒ - βFelt You Watching Over Meβ Youβve definitely painted a vivid scene, if not one most of us are all too familiar with, feeling that presence of someone watching over us, whether it be in a positive or negative manner. Maybe Iβm just an uneducated βStrayan but Iβd never heard of any of the counties you name-dropped, so I didnβt really understand how they were relevant to the song sorry, but Iβm going to assume they had an emotional connection with the person watching over you? βMy dreamland an oasis for you to taintβ was a beautiful one-liner here. I wouldnβt consider this a complete departure from your usual style, but it definitely felt a bit more accessible overall, almost like you letting us in on a shared dream. Very nice. βThe waves arenβt pleased with your vagrancy / But I am.β was another stellar lyric, and I honestly would have preferred this to be the closing lyric, moving the grandmother lyric up a couple of lines! I enjoyed this a lot, and as always look forward to seeing whatβs next for you. 14. @ElementΒ - βNIGHT VISIONS II: TETRIS HYPNOTICβ Wow, long time no see! Welcome back to the Golden Hit fam! The serve out of the gate in the opening linesβ¦ come through night mode! (Itβs funny because I actually have Dark Reader activated while reading these songs nnn). I kind of screamed at βcoming soon! a purple t.β, but in a good way. This was such a unique experience, I donβt think I ever thought Iβd read a song about dreaming about tetris before? What a serve. βfade to black i beg of theeβ was such a great lyric in this context because it could be referring to wanting the dream to be over, or literally wanting a line match so the line βfades to blackβ. Genius! I think I do recall the original βNight Visionsβ... not the song itself of course but Iβm pretty sure it was written for PH8βs βTitle Trackβ challenge where we asked players to write a title track for popular albums without one (in this case, Imagine Dragonsβ βNight Visionsβ, iirc?) This was very cute and while I hadnβt heard of the Tetris effect, I can definitely see how this would impact a personβs life (even if itβs not a phenomenon strictly stemming from a dream-related altered state of consciousness). All in all this was fun, even camp at times (I see youβve been attending the Allday school of exclamations!) and generally a welcome creative wildcard with some fantastic elevated lyricism and rhyming mixed in. Itβd be wonderful to see you return again for the finale if you were so inclined! Β 15. @worldwide angelΒ - βTwilightβ I enjoyed that your song addressed the different stages of sleep and recognised that there are differing levels of subconsciousness. Your intro was such a fantastic way to begin this song, it drew me in from the first line, and this exciting, effortless flow carried into your chorus. Similarly to Euterpeβs song, the really short, stabby verse lyrics (then/when/feel etc.) somewhat took me out of this immersion a little, and didnβt feel as conceptually relevant in this songβs context. I feel the same way about the bridge to a degree, although I really did love the final section there. I loved the setting of your song, that sort of βafterglowβ you experience when coming out of a good dream, and I can see a version of this song with longer, more almost drowsy line lengths really completing this experience, whereas I feel the shorter line lengths of your typical style carry a certain urgency or abruptness that most of us donβt often after right after waking up, so thereβs a bit of a disconnect there between concept and execution. This is a pretty minor criticism all in all though. Youβve been a fantastic addition to this seasonβs roster, and I look forward to your finale entry.
Jackson Posted September 26, 2022 Posted September 26, 2022 15 minutes ago, Aurora said: I see youβve been attending the Allday school of exclamations! probably the highlight of both songs!Β
ATRL Moderator Legend E Posted September 26, 2022 ATRL Moderator Posted September 26, 2022 Omg not the stanning, I'm shook Β And I stan your interpretation of the 4-7-8 line, I didn't even think of that but it makes so much sense
fountain Posted September 26, 2022 Posted September 26, 2022 The Round 5 results are in, one hour until they are revealed Β @camfuckingrockwellΒ @Kylie JennerΒ @hurricane326Β @XO_LifeΒ @HugΒ @TruGeminiΒ @AlldayΒ @Julia FoxΒ @beatinglikeadrumΒ @AugmentedΒ @Legend EΒ @EuterpeΒ @JoeAgΒ @ElementΒ @worldwide angel Β
beatinglikeadrum Posted September 26, 2022 Posted September 26, 2022 OMG. Thank you @Aurora . I was so stressed. So glad you liked it.
Hug Posted September 26, 2022 Posted September 26, 2022 Not me missing the 10 from one clunky line :( oh whale live and learn.
fountain Posted September 26, 2022 Posted September 26, 2022 Hello everybody! Welcome to the results show for Round 5: The Dreamscape challenge. Β It goes without saying that this was another really great round for us. In fact, multiple judges agreed that this was strongest so far and gave out their highest scores yet! Β You should all really be proud of yourselves, especially as we come up on the final. I hope you are all able to submit again since itβll be the last round of Golden Hit Season 2 and weβd love to go out with a bang! Β For now though, letβs start the result for Round 5. Up first, #15β¦ Β @camfuckingrockwellΒ @Kylie JennerΒ @hurricane326Β @XO_LifeΒ @HugΒ @TruGeminiΒ @AlldayΒ @Julia FoxΒ @beatinglikeadrumΒ @AugmentedΒ @Legend EΒ @EuterpeΒ @JoeAgΒ @ElementΒ @worldwide angel
fountain Posted September 26, 2022 Posted September 26, 2022 At #15 with a song that sought to bring dreams into realityβ¦ Β @XO_LifeΒ with βDreamscapeβ
fountain Posted September 26, 2022 Posted September 26, 2022 At #14 with a song that remained unphased and screamed WTF back at nighttime demonsβ¦ Β @AlldayΒ with βNight Terrorsβ
fountain Posted September 26, 2022 Posted September 26, 2022 At #13 with a song that pondered a place of true happinessβ¦ Β @camfuckingrockwellΒ with βParadiseβ
fountain Posted September 26, 2022 Posted September 26, 2022 At #12 with a song that chose humanity over rageβ¦ Β @hurricane326Β with βA Conversation With Nikβ
fountain Posted September 26, 2022 Posted September 26, 2022 At #11 is a song that I could swear I felt the presence ofβ¦ Β @JoeAgΒ with βFelt You Watching Over Meβ
fountain Posted September 26, 2022 Posted September 26, 2022 And now a short word from our sponsorsβ¦ Β This Golden Hit results show is brought to you by @fountainβs mobile phone and internet connection! Β Β Congrats to the upcoming top ten!
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