TROPICUM Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 Thank you @Auburn !! Not results being released tonight I----- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OreGuy Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 Miss @Auburn, thanks for the lovely review. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rence Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 1 hour ago, ughgabriel said: Unacceptable, set an alarm x What time though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ughgabriel Posted September 17, 2020 Author Share Posted September 17, 2020 29 minutes ago, Rence said: What time though 8 PM PST Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rence Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ughgabriel Posted September 17, 2020 Author Share Posted September 17, 2020 BATCH 2 @Gay Rat Divorce - Crying Contest Spoiler This entry is really unique and I feel like you took the most unexpected approach in this challenge. While I didn’t think of this as a comedic song nor did I find it to be humorous, I think the execution was what made it stood out. I’m not saying that as a bad thing, though. I feel like you nailed it with the childish behavior essence you where trying to convey, but I felt like “well, that’s how people usually feel when they’re in a situation like this: helpless, desperate, egotistical; how a child feels when going through a stressing situation. I really liked this thing you did on the second verse where you were using fantasy driven imagery (filling the room with your tears, creating a typhoon out of it), I thought it was really cool and clever. It was really appropriate for the child like nature of the song. I actually thought you should’ve done that on your first verse too. I don’t know why but I thought it would be so cool if there was an actual mountain made of tissues. The bridge, to me, was maybe the weakest part of the song. I’m not saying it was bad but I feel like you could’ve used that section to say something else; since, essentially, it repeats what you said during the chorus. So I don’t feel like it adds a lot to the story, nor does it add to the sentiment. I really liked this entry; it’s really unique and clever. @Rence - wallflower Spoiler As simple as your opening line might seem, I think it was my favorite opening line from the whole round. It really captures the reader’s attention; it’s creating a setting and building up to something; and it reads as something that is very personal to the writer. This is really beautiful. I thought the story was very engaging and captivating. Even if you wrote it in third person I thought this had a very strong emotional connection and it showed. The way you created a story, a character for the reader to care about was a key point to make your song really effective. I do believe that a lot of people could relate to this song. From the situation the character was going through at home to the feeling of being invisible and not being noticed by the people surrounding them. I thought “all his wounds never healed but he never faltered” was probably my favorite line in the song. It gave closure to the story in a very satisfying and heartwarming way. I don’t mean to discredit your other songs at all, nor do I want to overreact. But this might be my favorite song of yours so far! @Dessy - Amaterasu Spoiler I actually felt like you channeled the folk vibe really well. This read as it it was kind of an ancient legend or tale. From the words you chose to the way you structured the song as well. I really loved the way you personified your Pokemon here as hell’s flames. It’s a really fitting and cool way interpret the black flames Galarian Moltres has. I really liked the refrain and the meaning behind. The darkness and pain are the things that move the protagonist through. Which is relatable in some ways, because i feel like a lot of people tend to act based on past trauma which is what is being showcased here. While I did like the narrative, I feel like I would’ve liked to have more details of the story; maybe the song needed to be longer. Because I didn’t really understand what happened to the brother of the protagonist, based on the “ill-timed” line i could guess he died from sickness or an accident, maybe? But since it was never fully developed, I didn’t really understand why was the protagonist looking to avenge him. @Ampersand13 - Running Water’s Lullaby Spoiler I really liked the symbolism of water here and the way you were making some references such as the “run on water” line! I really liked your chorus and thought it was very emotionally driven; you got your point across and it was easy to connect with it! The first two lines of the bridge were also a highlight for me. They read very beautifully and they seem the most “lyrical”. I love the way you compare the person to air and how it transitions into breathing “into your prayers”. It was very thought out. I do have to say that the rest of the song doesn’t hold up to the same level as those sections I mentioned :/ There were some awkwardly phrased lines throughout the song; they felt clunk at times. “Cause i’d like to drink up your body like it’s water” sounds very pick up line-ish instead of conveying an actual sentiment of desire. The pink hair line in verse 2 was also awkwardly phrased, I’m guessing for meter purposes, however i don’t think it played out in your favor due to it sounding a little unnatural. I don’t necessarily yhink this is bad, but I think you’ve shown potential to do much better than this :/ @dweebz - Secrets Spoiler I liked the concept you went for in this song. We love a homewrecker, seductive protagonist. We’re always here for messy characters even if people deny it. This song was kind of short but I feel like you channeled the essence you were going for pretty well. I will say that the lyrics are not very engaging due to most of them being pretty straightforward and not adding much to the story or setting. The backing vocals you had going on was interesting but I didn’t really understand what they were supposed to mean if I’m honest :/ I think you could’ve developed your story a little more to make it more gripping and interesting… I really don’t think the trust/thrust line was effective and it stood out in a not very positive way :/ @Speezy - Give Me A Dose Spoiler Wait i kinda love the way this reads. Every line flows really well and it transitions into the next one so smoothly! I’m also a sucker for horror imagery and I think the way you used it for a sexual song was very, uhm, tempting. I know the purpose was not to make me happy, but i couldn’t stop smiling the whole song; I was blushing a bit too. It made me realize that i might need an injection too. Honestly all the verses are really good but I loved verse 3 the most. And your chorus was really effective as well. I really liked the wrestling line, I have a certain memory about it that made me giggle a bit. Basically my little cousin told my whole family that his parents tend to wrestle in bed with no clothes f The give me a dose of me was probably my favorite lyric from the whole song. I do think that the bridge was kind of a wasted opportunity because it was too short and it didn’t really add anything to the song. It was more of the same and I don’t think it benefited the song at all. I think if you’re going to choose to add a section to a song, you have to use it to add something more to the story instead of retelling what you already said. But overall, I really liked this song! @Overprotected - Thorns Spoiler Aw, this is so sad. I can definitely relate to it and i thought you did a great job tying this concept with your Pokemon. The way people grow thorns to protect themselves from harm after a very tough experience is something that I’ve seen my loved ones go through and it’s heartbreaking :( I really liked your verses, they really channel the emotion behind the song in a really effective way. I think that your chorus could’ve been a little stronger though; I felt like the first line was kind o letdown because you’re building the story with your verses saying that your hurt as a consequence of past events and in your chorus you just kind of “refuse” of giving more detail when you say “what did i do, it doesn’t matter”. It makes it hard for the reader to fully connect with the song because you’re limiting them by not embracing completely what really happened. @keshaspearsxo - S, C! Spoiler I really loved this concept and execution! I thought that at times, the language was really ambitious but it just worked. The way this song describes the feeling of creating music in such a magical way is just so charming. I really liked this concept of acknowledging that there’s kind of a formula when it comes to creating songs but in reality there are no boundaries. We can go beyond what is expected. The opening couplet is just breathtaking and beautiful. It was also quite clever how your sections kind of described what each one of them would normally sound like in a regular song. What’s their role in the song and their characteristics. I did like your chorus too, but I feel like if you were going to repeat it and just change a line; you could’ve made the line a little more hard hitting. You know, to give it a switch up and an essential role in the chorus. Another really great entry from you! (Well, the real you) @Lucky#17 - Firmness Spoiler I think your concepts are really interesting. I’ve never thought about writing a song about this topic, nor have I seen a song about it to be quite honest. But it’s definitely something I have felt. Sometimes we just want to have fun and not compromising ourselves. Not everything has to be serious to be enjoyable! I liked the raw nature of this song and there were some really great lines too! I loved the first three lines of your first verse. I thought they flowed really well and they had a very cinematic feeling too. The whole song is very reflective and the feelings you tried to channel were successfully conveyed through your lyrics. I do have to say that there were some issues. The main one, for me, is that this felt like a journal entry; the lines felt disjointed and abrupt at times. One example of this is the “getting married” line from the first verse. It caught me out of nowhere. Maybe it was done purposely to represent how the proposal caught the protagonist off guard as well but it had kind of a negative impact in the song since it took me out of the immersion. I did appreciate your chorus but i thought it was a little simplistic and straightforward. I don’t mind simple lyrics but I really appreciate a little more of detail when you’re going to take that approach because it gives you a chance to really channel more emotionality and makes the story more gripping. It really catches your interest when you paint a whole setting where the reader can really imagine themselves experiencing it. @ceremonials - Siren Spoiler This entry has a very mystical feeling to it. Sounds like a legend that kids would pass on to each other about a forest in town. It’s very haunting; beautiful and a little eerie as well. I really loved the song. Your verses were really strong. I think that, technically, you are one of the most correct writers in this competition. And the words you choose are also really fitting to create a very specific vibe which elevates your song a lot. It gives the song more layers. “Its beating heart casts a hushed metronome” and “fractured by solace, eroded in time” are two of my favorite one liners. They’re very beautiful and have a lot of wit. There is something really magical about this whole entry. I do have to say that at times I felt a little lost, due to the ambitious and grand language. It was not a big issue because it would only take me a couple of reads to fully understand what you were trying to say. The only thing that left me a bit confused was the “rest in peace” line in the chorus. I don’t understand if it’s supposed to say that the winter wind is always going to keep playing the melody or something else… Since that was also the closing line I was left feeling a bit… doubtful? I just asked myself in the end “did I get it or did I not?”. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overprotected Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 Thank you :lovepuppy: PTR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speezy Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 18 minutes ago, ughgabriel said: Wait i kinda love the way this reads. Every line flows really well and it transitions into the next one so smoothly! I’m also a sucker for horror imagery and I think the way you used it for a sexual song was very, uhm, tempting. I know the purpose was not to make me happy, but i couldn’t stop smiling the whole song; I was blushing a bit too. It made me realize that i might need an injection too. Honestly all the verses are really good but I loved verse 3 the most. And your chorus was really effective as well. I really liked the wrestling line, I have a certain memory about it that made me giggle a bit. Basically my little cousin told my whole family that his parents tend to wrestle in bed with no clothes f The give me a dose of me was probably my favorite lyric from the whole song. I do think that the bridge was kind of a wasted opportunity because it was too short and it didn’t really add anything to the song. It was more of the same and I don’t think it benefited the song at all. I think if you’re going to choose to add a section to a song, you have to use it to add something more to the story instead of retelling what you already said. But overall, I really liked this song! thanks alot THIS IS SENDING ME I'm lowkey happy I tugged a personal string on someone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minho Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 PTR :lovepuppy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ughgabriel Posted September 17, 2020 Author Share Posted September 17, 2020 WE'RE STARTING NOW! Spoiler @hurricane326 @Ampersand13 @Hug @8thPrince @firecrotch @OreGuy @TROPICUM @funnellegs @Aurora @Rence @dweebz @Overprotected @Dessy @Lucky#17 @Gay Rat Divorce @minho @disruptive @Astronomy @Speezy @Gastrodonatella @ceremonials @keshaspearsxo First of all, I'd like to say that, unfortunately, Courtney Love was not able to post critiques on time due to personal issues. They sent me their rankings and will post their reviews tomorrow though. Sadly, we'll be having our first elimination today. Two people will be leaving the spaceship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firecrotch Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 two people omg the way im OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speezy Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 not this elimination serving Among Us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dweebz Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 Girls, I beyond lost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overprotected Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 We going :airplane: space Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 3 minutes ago, Speezy said: not this elimination serving Among Us I’m playing right now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firecrotch Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 the suspense and drama of courtney love not posting reviews so we don't know how they voted fkbflg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OreGuy Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 omg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Auburn Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 I don't even know how to predict the results, the judges were pretty varied on some songs' scores Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8thPrince Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minho Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 please why is like EXTRA excited now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firecrotch Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 just wanna remind the judges im a katy stan thats all luv xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ATRL Username Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 PME Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overprotected Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TROPICUM Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ughgabriel Posted September 17, 2020 Author Share Posted September 17, 2020 (edited) We'll be starting in the middle for suspense <3 In 11th place we have someone who faced God. And it seems they heard your prayers... Spoiler It's @TROPICUM with "Deity". Congratulations! The COVID-19 vaccine is coming soon, so get your needles ready! In 12th we have... Spoiler @Speezy with "Give me a dose" <3 Just as Natalie Imbruglia once said: "Nothing's fine, I'm thorn". #13 goes to... Spoiler "Thorns" by @Overprotected Edited September 17, 2020 by ughgabriel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.png.5c069777b1ab1d704a32825806767213.png)
Recommended Posts