ultraviolence.xx Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 i’m gonna say 3/12 is not a great ratio for results
MattyTacos Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 1 hour ago, Citrus said: CitRuviews - Round 7 MattyTacos – Jesus Christ @ that concept, what kind of me teas. The black magic allusions aren’t my favorite treatment for this subject but they’re consistent so that’s a plus. No shade but like…this is the first entry I’ve read from you where I think to myself, this person won before. You really took an out there concept and ran at it. Are there technical issues and some wonky wordings, yeah (resting for travel on subway trains??), but, overall, I love this. Mess, that line literally just made me burst out laughing right now Some of the wording is weird, yes. I'll make a note of that. But, hopefully I get the chance to compete in future challenges to hone my skills some more.
MattyTacos Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 (edited) Let's do results, I'm sparking up real quick Edited October 8, 2017 by MattyTacos
MattyTacos Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 4 minutes ago, ultraviolence.xx said: i’m gonna say 3/12 is not a great ratio for results we DEMAND results or we will have havoc
ceremonials Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 10 minutes ago, MattyTacos said: we DEMAND results or we will have havoc so more posts + ratings ? say no more
ultraviolence.xx Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 1 hour ago, ceremonials said: I? AM? STARTING?? REVIEWS??? I ? DONT ? SEE ?? ANY ???
ceremonials Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 Just now, ultraviolence.xx said: I ? DONT ? SEE ?? ANY ??? 2 more~
ultraviolence.xx Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 (edited) Just now, ceremonials said: 2 more~ posts? pages? hours? edit: ohh reviews to write? Edited October 8, 2017 by ultraviolence.xx
ceremonials Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 Just now, ultraviolence.xx said: posts? pages? hours? edit: ohh reviews to write? yes
Aurora Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 RT if you like mugs also buy tell me you love me on spotify and stream it on itunes
ultraviolence.xx Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 oh tell me you loooooved my sooong, I neeeed validationnn, on days like this I dooooo, on days like this!
ceremonials Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 @Nait Phoenix, “Coasting” Okay, so this definitely had a very “rap song with a female chorus” type of vibe. In that sense it was very believable as a duet, and there’s a huge change in style between the red and the blue. This does fit the challenge, though the tone doesn’t change quite as much as the style of writing does during the change of voices. I thought they didn’t flow into together very well, instead this was sort of like a juxtaposition instead of you trying to weave two opposite things together. This is fine, but it was a little jarring at times. I will say that that I enjoyed the red far more than the blue, except maybe for the outro. The blue voice sort of lacked any personality at all up until that point, but I think it was a great ending stanza so that almost completely makes up for it. “But I’m slowly pretending not to give a damn about it / Vision before was clouded, now I can live without it” @ultraviolence.xx, “Beautiful Chaos” Okay, this was short, sweet and to the point. I usually discourage short entries because you need to pack a lot of punch for it to work. You didn’t necessarily pack a lot of punch, but it’s concise. It followed the challenge to the tea, though it was maybe a little cliche conceptually. The voices are weaved together seamlessly and have somewhat differing tones, which I think hits the mark. I think with this round you had to go with completely different and exaggerated tones and juxtapose them or you had to take two somewhat different traits and make them similar. The latter seems like the harder option to accomplish in my opinion, so I think the fact that you made it work is impressive. Overall, this was another solid entry into the Uvie franchise. King of consistency. “Douse the stacks in gasoline / And let the matchsticks fall” @Aurora, “17” To me, this read like two views of an average gay’s life. Either you’re closeted or you’re out. And I think it was handled beautifully conceptually. It maybe wasn’t executed perfectly - the transitions between voices were sometimes a little bit too abrupt, but that last line having multiple connotations based on what we know about both mothers was genius. This fit the challenge pretty well in having conflicting viewpoints, though I kinda didnt get what “vs” you chose from just reading through the song the first time, but reading through a second time it seems obvious. Overall, this was a definite return to reform for me, welcome back. “What did I ever do to deserve a son like you” @mxtthewdelrey, “Everything Hurts In Autumn” Okay, cute. You stuck to a distinct kind of imagery, there were no major rhyme issues, this is the mxtt I like to see. This is the happy medium I was talking about in terms of rhymes. Sometimes when songs are tedious and a conceptual and mechanical level, the reader ends up leaving the experience just kind of frustrated. In this song, they’re there, but you’re not placing such a huge emphasis on them so they stick out less. This maybe wasn’t the most ambitious of concepts, especially for you, but I kind of like that it was a little more reserved and a little less mxtt, because there were still flares of him in parts of this, like the novel-esque bridge. This shows that you can both tone down your outlandish concepts as well as sacrifice some of your signature style every now and then, and I think having at least one of them suits you, if that makes sense. Like you can go your typical PC music-style writing if they’re still conceptually interesting, and you can still go for more reserved concepts if you execute them carefully and skillfully. I just think having both a very jarring style and outlandish concepts can sometimes scare the average reader away. “Everything hurts here without you / It seems I can’t help but doubt you” @UFO, “Where The Truth Lies” Not a song about a cactus whyyyy bitch? That seems like such an odd option for weakness vs. strength, but I kinda liked it. The titular phrase felt a bit irrelevant to the song, but the chorus was cute as a whole. This also felt a littttttle one-sided, the non bolded parts definitely outweighed the bolded ones, and so in that sense the song sort of “favors” that narrative a bit rather than them both equally. Still, there were distinct changes in tone between the voices, I just wish there was a bit more to work with, which is usually not a complaint I have with your songs! This was a good length for me, but ultimately one side gets slightly more attention so I found myself slightly unfulfilled as a result. “Waves flow from my heart, out of my eyes / Where the truth hurts, where the truth lies” @minho, “Seventeen” Wait, not you and @Aurora both making songs called Seventeen, a scream. I liked this as a song, it was probably my 3rd fave from you overall, but there weren’t enough tonal/stylistic differences to really nail this challenge. Spacey vs. Grounded as well was a little loose for me as well, though it is kind of a broad term. It’s nowhere near as concrete as something like strength vs. weakness. This did feel like watered down minho again (that’s not a bad thing, I mean that’s what I told you to do in the first couple of rounds), but for me it was still really refreshing overall. Idk if this was rushed since you were super late, but if it was, I’m impressed. It didn’t fit the challenge all that well, but as a standalone I’m quite fond of it. “They say things are never what they seem / Dreams feel like reality at seventeen”
ceremonials Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 also not enough ppl replied so i guesss we'll do them tomorrow x hints maybe in an hour or so tho
ceremonials Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 Just now, minho said: fake 5 of 12(?) replied that's almost half majority rules xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Aurora Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 8 minutes ago, ceremonials said: @Aurora, “17” To me, this read like two views of an average gay’s life. Either you’re closeted or you’re out. And I think it was handled beautifully conceptually. It maybe wasn’t executed perfectly - the transitions between voices were sometimes a little bit too abrupt, but that last line having multiple connotations based on what we know about both mothers was genius. This fit the challenge pretty well in having conflicting viewpoints, though I kinda didnt get what “vs” you chose from just reading through the song the first time, but reading through a second time it seems obvious. Overall, this was a definite return to reform for me, welcome back. “What did I ever do to deserve a son like you” You stanned the ending lyric, yas. It was one of the initial ideas I had and figured it'd be a good note to end the song on, so it could have a very different interpretation and vibe depending on which viewpoint you read it from. I'm glad the theme came through stronger on the re-read; I tried to keep referencing the emotions with ideas such as lost composure, being undecided, tiptoeing, hesitation, stuttering to represent fear vs. rehearsing scenarios, not caring who overhears, following through knowing it'll be hard, haste to act and preparation to represent courage. Hopefully my flop phase is behind me and I won't disappoint as much as "The Gift" again.
Aurora Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 I don't mind waiting until tomorrow tbh, hopefully that means Moonie's reviews are coming?
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