tournament PLATINUM HIT 11▴ congratulations aurora ♛

[ceremonials]

Also I think this was my lowest round for scores  do better girls.

 

it was a hard challenge for some of you, tho. I knodon’t a lot of people don’t lol restrictive challenges subject wise.

[ceremonials]

1 minute ago, Gastrodonatella said:

 

Mess I’m on my phone but you know what I meant

[Temporal]

3/16 done or however many of you ****ers there are

[Temporal]

Just now, Gastrodonatella said:

14 we had two no shows x

flops

[UFO]

ooh yas I love your new avi! @minho  it's Snuper, right? 

 

[Jackson]

4 minutes ago, Gastrodonatella said:

14 we had two no shows x

who other than covergirl?

[smholiv]

1 minute ago, UFO said:

ooh yas I love your new avi! @minho  it's Snuper, right? 

 

yes Platonic Love

 

 

aka the best 80s synth pop song ever

 

 

[Jackson]

Just now, Gastrodonatella said:

speezy i believe

oh true! he must have run out of sexual positions to write about

[Jackson]

 

@ultraviolence.xx – Daylight

I’m strangely stanning “lilt”, a word. I think this is one of your best songs this season tbh, and brings me back to why I enjoyed you in the first place. Everything was fairly manicured, but I felt like the emotion of the piece shone through for once. There were a few awkward lines, like “cold autumn rain” which didn’t add much (and I advise against using multiple descriptors per noun). This song makes me wonder if the reason for your lack of emotion in other rounds stems from a lack of inspiration, and if so gaining inspiration from an outside piece like this could be a good idea for you in the future. The highlight was the ending. That entire last stanza was chill-inducing.

 

 

@SaintWest – Languages

I’ve said this a lot this week, but check your flow sis! “so they empathize” felt like so much extra fat that could have been cut, making the line feel clunky and the rhyme awkward. Using big words at the end of lines is something I typically advise against, and that’s no exception here. Empathize/scrutinize could have been easily replaced by smaller words that didn’t disrupt the verse so much. ”It’s not east at twenty/when yhey forget I still can read” um what? I know you said this was a filler entry, and I definitely feel that from this. The whole song feels rushed and disjointed, and even signs of repetition that could have been clever if exeuted better “it’s not east at…” felt lazy this week. Don’t do it again!

 

 

@keshaspearsxo – Glitch

Wow, not even a stanza in and we’re already using words like “foresee”. I see how it is. The more precise short story references were a little odd in song context (seven limbs), even if this was muffled by the clever limbs/sins internal rhyme. The second half of the first verse was stronger than the first. I loved the line “watching the pages turn/skipping to the ending/and rewriting the words”. The lack of rhyming in the chorus threw me off a bit after the rhyming verse, but I think it worked in this particular song.

 

 

@KatyCatPH – Something Crazy

I like that you experimented with structure here, as a 3-line stanza isn’t something typically seen in Platinum Hit songs. I wish your rhyme scheme would have been a bit more uniform, because I liked the AAA structure in the first stanza, and was thrown off a bit by the fact that the next few didn’t follow suit. Although the rhymes in the first stanza were awkward, that structure was something I wanted to see more throughout the song. The chorus was a bit better, although I didn’t like the “swing and jive” line. The song felt dark, brooding, and angsty in theme, and I felt like a few of the lines you included didn’t live up to that mood.

 

 

@mxtthewdelrey – From Above

I actually liked the first sections of the song, all the way up to the awkwardly phrased “just please tell me yes” at the end of the chorus. I liked how you used “flash” in different contexts throughout the chorus, and the “maybe you weren’t meant to stay” line in the verse. The second verse was similar to the first verse, but I didn’t like the “mum” line as it felt incongruent with the mood of the rest of the song. Although the song was simple overall, I felt like you conveyed emotion pretty well, and that this was one of your stronger entries.

 

[Temporal]

1 minute ago, Jackson said:

oh true! he must have run out of sexual positions to write about

wow let me make a concept album where each song is a sex position

[UFO]

1 minute ago, Gastrodonatella said:

it's like a week old tho  you not paying attention to him  

better late than never BITCH

 

Just now, minho said:

yes Platonic Love

 

 

aka the best 80s synth pop song ever

 

 

whew!!!!!!!!!!   those synths (Take On Me teas ), the colours, the concept, the visuals, the suits, the key change ok Snuper I see you     I'm here for this

 

[Jackson]

Just now, Gastrodonatella said:

having war flashbacks?

[UFO]

7 minutes ago, Jackson said:

but I didn’t like the “mum” line

1 minute ago, Gastrodonatella said:

Just now, Jackson said:

having war flashbacks?

  mess

 

 

[Tsareena]

guest judge? 

[UFO]

1 minute ago, Tsareena said:

guest judge? 

not just one sis, two guest judges  

[ultraviolence.xx]

uncle jackson stanning a bit? i’ll take it

[Tsareena]

3 minutes ago, UFO said:

not just one sis, two guest judges  

Did they read the short story? 

[ultraviolence.xx]

15 minutes ago, Jackson said:

@ultraviolence.xx – Daylight

I’m strangely stanning “lilt”, a word. I think this is one of your best songs this season tbh, and brings me back to why I enjoyed you in the first place. Everything was fairly manicured, but I felt like the emotion of the piece shone through for once. There were a few awkward lines, like “cold autumn rain” which didn’t add much (and I advise against using multiple descriptors per noun). This song makes me wonder if the reason for your lack of emotion in other rounds stems from a lack of inspiration, and if so gaining inspiration from an outside piece like this could be a good idea for you in the future. The highlight was the ending. That entire last stanza was chill-inducing.

@MattyTacos bitch what did I tell youuuu

 

and thank you jackson  

Edited October 1, 2017 by ultraviolence.xx

[ultraviolence.xx]

4 minutes ago, ultraviolence.xx said:

uncle jackson stanning a bit? i’ll take it

OK mess I meant to say "um jackson"

[Tsareena]

7 minutes ago, Gastrodonatella said:

jackson and austin didn't so why would they? ...

 the level of incompetence is just too high 

[mxtthewdelrey]

25 minutes ago, Jackson said:

 

@mxtthewdelrey – From Above

I actually liked the first sections of the song, all the way up to the awkwardly phrased “just please tell me yes” at the end of the chorus. I liked how you used “flash” in different contexts throughout the chorus, and the “maybe you weren’t meant to stay” line in the verse. The second verse was similar to the first verse, but I didn’t like the “mum” line as it felt incongruent with the mood of the rest of the song. Although the song was simple overall, I felt like you conveyed emotion pretty well, and that this was one of your stronger entries.

wow thank you so much ahhh  

[Jackson]

6 minutes ago, Gastrodonatella said:

the audacity of expecting us to read 33 pages and then not doing it themselves  

I never said you had to read it! There's a Wikipedia article and a movie (which I watched)

[MattyTacos]

19 minutes ago, ultraviolence.xx said:

@MattyTacos bitch what did I tell youuuu

 

and thank you jackson  

I guess i've seen everything 

[Temporal]

this round makes me want to rewatch Arrival tbh

[Jackson]

4 minutes ago, Temporal said:

this round makes me want to rewatch Arrival tbh

PH movie party!