Graves Posted January 15 Author Posted January 15 (edited) HIGHEST SCORE: 8.2 x 1 (scenekiller) LOWEST SCORE: 1 x 1 (AMIT) MY SCORE: 4 Aw. The opening three-tracks on This Is The One might fool you into thinking it's gonna be trashy bop-fest, but Taking My Money Back is a sobering crash down to earth. This is more in line with the album's true identity - dated, a little boring, far beneath where Hikaru was at the time. I do kind of enjoy that melody on the first part of the chorus, but otherwise I get very little from this. This is filler, no doubt about it. Utada did point out on release that the song was a fictional tale, not wanting any of their exes to get notions about the lyrics. They also said that it was a "very serious, but humorous song." ...I don't hear anybody laughing. Not content with one lie, Hikki also said that this song "might have the strongest story line [across the album]," and if that isn't a condemnation of the whole record, I don't know what is? I mean, there's not even any funny lines in this one! The one area that This Is The One excels at! Come on! Curaga thought it might be usable. They thought wrong. "Not that bad. The instrumental is kinda lame/dated, but the lyrics aren’t too bad. Has potential." ...and since we're in the neighborhood! HIGHEST SCORE: 10 x 1 (bestfiction) LOWEST SCORE: 1 x 2 (gingguu, Hey Dude) MY SCORE: 5.5 Man, imagine doing a sequel song to your groundbreaking debut single and making it a total throwaway album track, released as part of a contractually-obligated album you don't even wanna do... I can respect the gall, Trolltada. Other than the naming, there's not much in common here. Part II is a bragging track where Hikki bigs herself up and tells us that they're the ****, even asking us "do you like the way I rhyme? It's pretty darn clever," which is a great line that is only somewhat undone by following it up with the Virgin-Def Jam pun... Utada admits that the song, and especially the opening line, were done with the idea of "making a song like Snoop Dog, the "Snoop Doggy dog", or Eminem, "My Name is,"". They admit that they wanted to do "a parody" of those songs. I... can sort of see it, but I don't think parody as an excuse for lazy flies with me. I mean! You already have one great track literally called Parody! Get it together! Curaga is still giving me residuals for my open mic night at the start of the thread: "“Utada’s premier comedy album” lmaooo I can’t stop thinking about that. This is that song. This one and Poppin’. Like, it’s so funny that it kinda redeems itself? The instrumental is fine I guess." Thanks babe! AMIT tries to turn their brain off: "kinda a bop if I pretend I don't understand english for 3 minutes ngl." I vibe. Quietly. Meanwhile, Ewan Chaos gets their life! "THEY ******* SPITTINGGGGGGGGGGGGG," and bestfiction is another admirer: "“Used to be a virgin now I’m with Island Def Jam” is such a bar." Edited January 16 by Subomie 5
Cruel Summer Posted January 15 Posted January 15 Okay so MAYBE the lows are lower on This Is The One but I swear the highs are higher trust me 2
Curaga Posted January 15 Posted January 15 5 minutes ago, Subomie said: AMIT tries to turn their brain off: "kinda a bop if I pretend I don't understand english for 3 minutes ngl." I vibe. Quietly. Meanwhile, Ewan Chaos gets their life! "THEY ******* SPITTINGGGGGGGGGGGGG," and bestfiction is another admirer: "“Used to be a virgin now I’m with Island Def Jam” is such a bar." ok I’m almost sad that we’re doing these in reverse order because these comments are sending me 1
bestfiction Posted January 15 Posted January 15 Utada the rapstress came through on this one "Utada’s premier comedy album" though fkugksjitoejfjfj
poki Posted January 15 Posted January 15 Just now, Curaga said: ok I’m almost sad that we’re doing these in reverse order because these comments are sending me Too bad Conker didn't join this rate. I should have @'d him 1
Graves Posted January 15 Author Posted January 15 (edited) HIGHEST SCORE: 10 x 2 (bestfiction, nostalgic) LOWEST SCORE: 1 x 1 (AMIT) MY SCORE: 4 God damn. I'm always so busy mentally preparing myself for the "6 and 9's" line that the "love you long time" part always catches me off-guard and leaves me shell-shocked. This song is a special kind of camp, the kind of camp reserved for sexy songs that sound distinctly unsexy. Outright comical, even. Personally, I wouldn't **** to this track, but power to you if you wanna try. Which part of this track makes you guys giggle the most? For me it's the tinny "bring that beat back!" as the song closes, delivered with all of the conviction of an underpaid session singer. Critics weren't kind either, with Daniel Robson of The Japan Times calling it out in his album review, asking "is this what it takes to find Stateside success? Whoring yourself both musically and lyrically?" God damn. We can sometimes forget how needlessly mean critics used to get back in the day, huh? Dirty Desire was actually released as a single! Really? This of all tracks...? In anticipation of the 2010 In The Flesh Tour, which incidentally was named after this track, Dirty Desire got a digital release in December of 2009. It was a remix EP and it peaked on the Billboard Dance/Club Charts at number 16, which was about as good as you could expect for this package. The tour, however, was somewhat noteworthy! Being Utada's first non-Japanese tour, it visited the US and the UK and saw Hikki performing tracks from Exodus, This Is The One, Kingdom Hearts, and a few of the Japanese singles. It looked like a gay old time, though it did take over three years for the recorded shows to get a release... Maybe even Hikaru wanted to forget this era ever happened? Curaga is happy to vibe a bit: "OK, I like that beat . . . Six and nines." Filth. bestfiction calls Utada's market research into question: "The funniest thing about Utada’s English music is that she deadass thought that it would appeal to an average American listener and it’s some super horny song with wacky lyrics. Bless her heart." Honestly, at some point I think she just got bored with making this record and wanted to be random. Good for her. Edited January 16 by Subomie 2
nostalgic Posted January 15 Posted January 15 Face My Fears out to hell, satan! Skrillex deserves the chair for that mess. Side note: it looks like I was a little too generous with my scores - I rated even the worst songs at least a 4 and some of y'all are giving 1s
Curaga Posted January 15 Posted January 15 8 minutes ago, Hey Dude said: I love the detailed descriptions My Johto reveals were so bad No way, king, you did a great job 2
Cruel Summer Posted January 15 Posted January 15 Okay yes it’s messy but the 6 and 9s line is catchy as hell, I’m sorry but this song snapped a little 1
AMIT Posted January 15 Posted January 15 Quote Curaga thought it might be usable. They thought wrong. "Not that bad. The instrumental is kinda lame/dated, but the lyrics aren’t too bad. Has potential." I just know my time to get lashed for my comments is coming nn 1
Graves Posted January 15 Author Posted January 15 (edited) HIGHEST SCORE: 8.5 x 1 (Hey Dude) LOWEST SCORE: 2 x 2 (Meloetta Carey, AMIT) MY SCORE: 4 Ah. This one. See, while I find something like Sunglasses to be a slightly elevated take on the First Love sound, Eternally... well, not to be too harsh, but this is more of a regression than anything else. Distance is full of songs that challenge and expand on the horizons Utada had set on First Love... Eternally is not one of them. From the overwrought balladry, to those rather generic lyrics (it really wants to be First Love, but it's a couple steps short), this'd slot right in on the back half of First Love. And that ain't a complement. Some pretty strings, though! So then, of course this was a hit. Kinda. Not during the Distance era itself or anything, but seven years later, during the Heart Station era. It turns out that the director of the drama series Innocent Love, Toshiyuki Nakano, was a Utada STAN. They got their life listening to Eternally on the copy of Distance that they no doubt purchased first week! Nanako said that the song was "a perfect choice for the drama", and also felt "as if the song had been specifically commissioned for the drama." I wish it had been! Throw it out as a standalone, cus I don't like it tanking my Distance average like this! Obviously anything Hikki touches turns to gold, so that's how a 2001 Utada album track ended up becoming a minor digital hit in 2008. It even made the parent album re-chart for a few weeks. Man, Japan really love bland and boring ballads from Hikaru, don't they? I guess I support anything that gets money going into their pocket, but when will a drama series pick Hotel Lobby as their theme instead? Everyone seemed to clock this one. Curaga shades the instrumentation: "LOL that first drum crash sounded so compressed. This sounds like she was trying to make another First Love," and AMIT thinks that it's "even worse than First Love (track) " You're both right! Edited January 16 by Subomie 1
Graves Posted January 15 Author Posted January 15 So, those were the only eliminations I had ready to go But because I love you guys (and because I dislike the next track) I'm gonna quickly do up one more elimination for this batch.
Curaga Posted January 15 Posted January 15 3 minutes ago, AMIT said: I just know my time to get lashed for my comments is coming nn And it’s only beginning for me I feel like I was pretty light-hearted with This Is the One because it’s such a joke of an album, but I was kinda vitriolic with my comments for some of the Distance and Exodus tracks. Subomie every time he has to give me a citation for my comments: 1
AMIT Posted January 15 Posted January 15 1 minute ago, Curaga said: And it’s only beginning for me I feel like I was pretty light-hearted with This Is the One because it’s such a joke of an album, but I was kinda vitriolic with my comments for some of the Distance and Exodus tracks. maybe I'm the one who's gonna lash you next then though I'm glad Wonder 'Bout is OUT since even if Exodus grew tremendously on me throughout the years, that remains such an ugly ass song. 1 1
poki Posted January 15 Posted January 15 First Love is hated? That album got 9s and 10s across the board from me (except one track) 1
Graves Posted January 15 Author Posted January 15 (edited) HIGHEST SCORE: 9 x 1 (Take Me Apart) LOWEST SCORE: 1 x 1 (AMIT) MY SCORE: 4 Bro, this song is so annoying. I'm not about to give it a 0 or anything, cus the instrumentation is actually really beautiful and the verses are kind of okay... but you can not be mad at me for not vibing with that infernal chorus! This was one of the first Hatsukoi songs to leave an impact on me, and not in a good way. It's just grating in a way that I only otherwise feel about something like Boku wa Kuma. Sticks with you in a nasty way, eugh. Sorry to fans of this song. It's about coriander, I guess, so that's neat. Culinary songs... there's an untapped market if the recording career goes **** up in the meantime. Hikki did a brand deal with Tasty Japan after the release of Hatsukoi, even setting up a temporary cafe in promotion of the album. Monarch contributed a coriander dish to the menu that they made themselves, sharing their secret recipe with us. Health icon! Though I'm not quite sure it makes up for all of the dietary issues they no doubt contributed to with all of their Pepsi promos back in the day, but penance is penance. Curaga loves a little coriander: "Cheesy intro, but right after it, we get a really great song. Love their vocal performance on this one — great tone. Love the horns." But Ewan Chaos has their mind on other dishes: "It's giving chicken." Edited January 16 by Subomie
AMIT Posted January 15 Posted January 15 2 minutes ago, Hey Dude said: First Love is hated? That album got 9s and 10s across the board from me (except one track) no, I love it and it's overtly hated I fear, except for a certain track or two.
Graves Posted January 15 Author Posted January 15 Ok, but that's the last one I have to give you all for the time being. Sorry! Thanks for tuning in! I'm probably going to throw some singular stray eliminations when I get a chance during work or later on, so keep tabs on the thread every now and then. I'll tag if I'm doing a big bunch. 4 3
Cruel Summer Posted January 15 Posted January 15 Not sad to see that one go, honestly. It’s cute and that’s about it. I wouldn’t be sad to see like, 80% of Hatsukoi get booted out swiftly and violently, though. 1 1
poki Posted January 15 Posted January 15 Was fun Yeah the site is so unreliable I'll probably also have to do 30 minute reveals + stray reveals once I put up the Hoenn rate 1
AMIT Posted January 15 Posted January 15 the results are straight up fire so far. and I really enjoy the little tidbits on each song so far, thank you king
Curaga Posted January 15 Posted January 15 Thanks for doing an extra one last-minute! Your comments and graphics are terrific!
Ewan Chaos Posted January 15 Posted January 15 Poppin is messy but in a fun way! Didn't deserve to be high but didn't deserve to be first out. Poor #98-OUT. Expected to be this low though. NOW WHAT IS AUTOMATIC PART II DOING THIS LOW can we get rid of some SNOOZERS first??? I mean it kinda sucks but it's at least FUN. Okay with everything else that left this rate. Also, great graphics and write-ups, though I'm NOT surprised at the QUALITY from a SUBOMIE rate. OKAYYYYYYYY! 2
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