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HIKARU UTADA ~ the discography rate [完了]


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Posted

Exodus sucks outside of 4 tracks 

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Posted (edited)

Lady, let's go...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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HIGHEST SCORE: 8.5 x 1 (Meloetta Carey)

LOWEST SCORE: 0 x 1 (Cruel Summer)

MY SCORE: 5

 

This might be one of the funniest songs I've ever heard. It's just... real bad? Everything about it - from the production sounding like ambiance from a spy film, the out-of-breath chorus sounding like they've just ran twenty laps of the studio, and that camper-than-camp attempt at a spoken word bridge... My god. I simply had to give some extra points for this song as it never fails to make me cackle when it comes on.

 

That said, it really is not good! Obviously they must have known this was a comedic track rather than a solid one, and that seemed to be a running trend with the making of This Is The One. Many of the songs give only camp appeal and funny moments rather than quality album tracks. I wonder what the creative process for this record was? Do you think the record label just brought in Stargate and Tricky Stewart and they had to make sense of Hikaru's lyrics? Were they all in on the joke? nnn; I kind of wanted this one to escape the bottom ten...

 

Utada said that "in the demo stage of the song I was calling it the 'Austin track' because it's like international spy. There's a little part in it where I speak a little with a British accent. Just a bit." Honestly I had no idea that accent was meant to be British until just his second, I-

 

 

At least Curaga found something to enjoy in this mess: "Sooo silly, but the comedy aspect gives it some points, and it isn’t annoying. . . . OK maybe it is hahaha."

Ewan Chaos was also charmed by this disaster: "Now WHAT IS THIS UTADA you know what I'd love to party with them actually."

 

That makes three of us!

 

Edited by Subomie
  • Haha 3
Posted

Oh I could do comments? Oh well I'll spam here to boost us haha

 

See ya Floppin' 

Posted

No one moved for This Is The One tracks rip

 

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Hey Dude Subomie

Posted

Oh we’re exorcising demons right off the bat! Goodbye, good riddance!

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Posted

The fact this album isn't even on Utada's main Spotify account is such a Lol moment :snowball:

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Posted (edited)

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HIGHEST SCORE: 7 x 1 (Take Me Apart)

LOWEST SCORE: 2 x 3 (AMIT, Ewan Chaos, Suilen)

MY SCORE: 3.5

 

Eugh, kids...

 

Um, apologies... what I mean to say is: aw, how cute. A children's song!

 

Yes, Boku wa Kuma was an experiment on Hikaru's part, to see if they could write a song for children. Kuma-chan is actually Hikaru's stuffed bear that was first introduced to fans during the Utada United 2006 tour. Kuma was a character that posted occasional entries on the Utada blog, which were a cute and corny little waste of time. He would blog about the various hotels that they stayed in during the multiple stops of the tour.

 

Unfortunately, like Bart Simpson before him, this animated character got a touch of attention and decided that he needed his own novelty song. Boku wa Kuma was released in November of 2006 and is technically the first single from Heart Station. If ever there was a time to leave a single orphaned... It charted at #4. Good for him. Obviously the song isn't the worst thing I've ever heard, but it's still a child's song. And I'm not a child. It also commits the cardinal sin of following Take 5 on the tracklist, and that's a whole other can of worms to get into...

 

Kuma-chan became something of a symbol for Hikaru to use on merch, art, and social media posts going forward from this track, but luckily he never tried his hand at another single. Phew! In 2010, Hikaru "outed" Kuma as gay and used him as part of a tour stop to show their support for same-sex marriage. Which is nice. A gay bear, huh? What a novel concept.

 

Still, even a late-career coming out won't save that music career honey. Tinky Winky you are not.

 

 

Miss Curaga finds this to be acceptable for what it is: "It’s fine for a kids’ song, but it should have been a non-album single."

Meloetta Carey seems to agree: "tbh, the hate for this song is exaggerated. it's cute for what it is."

Edited by Subomie
Posted

I’m honestly a little surprised this is out before a couple other English tracks, but I get it. It’s just not really doing anything for most adult listeners.

Posted

Poppin is a masterclass in high camp, it would eat as a lip sync song on drag race

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Posted
Just now, Cruel Summer said:

I’m honestly a little surprised this is out before a couple other English tracks, but I get it. It’s just not really doing anything for most adult listeners.

I'm not! This was my guess for first song out before I even opened the thead! The little Fantomes HAAATE her. I guess we just hate Floppin' even more.

Posted

This was a contender for my 11 because why not 

Posted
5 minutes ago, Hey Dude said:

The fact this album isn't even on Utada's main Spotify account is such a Lol moment :snowball:

I think they recently got moved or added to her main profile on Apple Music. I wonder if they’ll change for Spotify as well - but I can’t really imagine why she wants that!

 

Unless it’s because she wants Apple & Cinnamon on her main account because that I understand.

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Posted (edited)
On 1/15/2024 at 7:28 PM, Hey Dude said:

Exodus sucks outside of 4 tracks 

Oop.

 

 

 

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HIGHEST SCORE: 7.5 x 2 (scenekiller, Reverie)

LOWEST SCORE: 1 x 1 (Hey Dude)

MY SCORE: 4.5

 

Oh geez, and the album had been bopping so well up until this point, too...

 

Alright, alright. Let's see. Wonder 'Bout is one of the three Timbaland productions on Exodus and uh, I think it's safe to say he wasn't giving Hikki his best work with this one. This is actually the only one of the three that Timbo didn't have a hand in writing. Hikaru did the song by themselves and then brought it to Timbaland afterwards so he could remix it. ...They probably could've kept it as is.

 

Positives? I mean, that fart-synth is kinda funny to me tbh! He must've been trolling when he added that one. The song is... ok. I mean, it's not the worst thing they've ever done. But equally it's not very far from the bottom either. I find some of the lyrics fun, but most of them aren't. I could see why somebody like this one, it's another sassy send-off song, innit? Not quite as good as the ones they'd done before this (or the ones that came after), but I guess if I was forced to choose between listening to this track again or death...

 

...I'd think about my answer for a bit.

 

 

Nothing but tomatoes from the stands, Curaga is not here for it: "Cheesy instrumental. Hate that vocal filter at the beginning."

Every day... Every daaaay...

Edited by Subomie
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Posted

Yeah Exodus starts off so good and then this shows up and bam it only picks back up on the last track. 

 

So much wasted potential. This album could have been massive.

Posted

WAIT NOT POPPIN'

Posted

Poppin' is really so bad it's good, yeah. The "yes" in the intro, the Austin Powers spy-like motif, the iconic "tight jeans no panties on" line... She was looking camp right in the eye!

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Posted

That marks the last four average score, and I guess the last track we thought was actively bad. We now move into thoroughly mediocre territory instead, how exciting!

Posted

If we were to start with an English song it should've been something mid like About Me

  • Like 1
Posted

Honestly listening to things over again for this opened my eyes up to how, outside of Floppin’, This Is The One is kind of amazing? Like, various bops, multiple bops

 

Hoping most of it outlasts Exodus!

Posted (edited)

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HIGHEST SCORE: 10 x 1 (Curaga)

LOWEST SCORE: 1 x 2 (gingguu, Hey Dude)

MY SCORE: 4

 

So, my understanding (based primarily on internet hearsay) is that Don't Think Twice was intended as the sole theme for Kingdom Hearts 3, and that Hikaru had reached out to Skrillex to remix it - a la the PLANITb Mix of Simple & Clean. Instead, he suggested they write a whole new track. And thus Face My Fears was born, and the other track was relegated to a credits song. Or something like that. Idk if any of that's true lol.

 

Um, I don't like this song. Yeah, in fact it's one of my least favourite Utada songs ever. I kind of think the opening parts are ok, like the first verse and piano melody... pleasant enough, if a bit tired. But that chorus! It's awful! Feels like it came out about five years too late for that sound to be any way interesting or remarkable. I also hate that this is tacked on to Bad Mode, which means that only 9/10 of its tracks are good! Eugh. Sorry to the two fans that it has. But hey - this release meant that Hikaru Utada had finally charted on the Billboard Hot 100!

...

#98 is still a success!

 

Unlike Hikki's admiration for the Evangelion series, they don't quite have the same... shall we say, reverance for Kingdom Hearts. Really, listen to them talk about it on the Bad Mode liner notes or answer questions on one of their Instagram lives - the amount of swerving and dodging is admirable. They hate Mickey Mouse! And I salute them for it.

 

 

Curaga is easily amused, it seems: "OK, I’m aware this song doesn’t really belong on this album and doesn’t match the vibe, but the song itself? My wig is in orbit!"

Meanwhile, AMIT draws a line in the sand: "ag cook version is better/decent, original/skrillex produced one is garbage and that's the one I rated here." That's tea, actually!

Finally, Ewan Chaos is ready to smack us with their keyblade: "It's overhated... but certainly a BIG step below KH1 & KH2 themes."

 

Edited by Subomie
Posted

omg I was not expecting these write-ups on each track! You really put in the work! :clap3:

 

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Posted

Okay this one is a little bit of a surprise to me

 

Like I never really liked it much either so it’s not exactly shocking but… like it’s one of the themes and all, even if it kind of sucks?

 

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Posted
6 minutes ago, Subomie said:

Curaga is easily amused, it seems

 

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Posted

DeadMau5 would have been better for this track :eli:

Posted

I love the detailed descriptions :heart2:

 

My Jotho reveals were so bad

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