tournament Golden Hit: Season 4 📀 Congrats to Kylie Jenner! 🌸

[fountain]

8 minutes ago, PoKiTaurus said:

 

HE'S IN 

 

Round 5 inspiration:

 

Not him messaging you in 2028 and then time travelling 5 years into the past to 2023

[Julianna Calm Down]

1 hour ago, fountain said:

Probably, no, definitely the best song I have read in my life

 

I am massively interested in RHONY… I’ve seen so many clips and compilations, and what an absurd and hilarious mix of personalities there is . I actually thought about starting watching it with my bf, who has never seen any episodes either, but I had no idea where to start (I know ideally you would start at Season 1 but it was looking crunchy so I wasn’t sure if that was the best place to actually begin or if you can skip it a bit… interested in hearing your thoughts )

but since it’s been rebooted anyway I might just watch the new version as it’s own separate entity as well, especially since I can start from the beginning now while it is fresh.  
 

OMG where to begin. I definitely think you should watch the OG RHONY, as it is classic, legendary, one-of-a-kind, unique, fantastique. Ramona, LuMann, Sonja, Dorinda, Bethenny, it's just TV gold honestly. Season 1 is a skip, but season 2 is watchable, season 3 is GOLD. Season 7-11 are also amazing! I haven't watched the new RHONY and not sure I will, because I don't think anything can touch or replace the original cast at their best. 

 

RHOA is also quite amazin. Season 1-7 have some really good moments. The drama is ALIVE. 

[Julianna Calm Down]

teasing my inspo bishes for the incoming smash 

"Orgasmic Man" (1969) by Peter Hujar

 

[fountain]

19 minutes ago, Julianna Calm Down said:

teasing my inspo bishes for the incoming smash 

"Orgasmic Man" (1969) by Peter Hujar

 

My not realising this is an actual photograph and only knowing it as the cover for A Little Life

 

good choice, I like it I’m intrigued!  

[Julianna Calm Down]

@judge@fountain

It’s been 84 years … 

[Jackson]

31 minutes ago, Julianna Calm Down said:

@judge@fountain

It’s been 84 years … 

@Element 

[Element]

ELEMENT'S TOTALLY ON TIME REVIEWS

Great work everyone on capturing dynamic and exciting views of absurdity! I had a great time reading all of these. Thank you @fountain and @Jackson for inviting me to guest judge!!

 

StormPulse - 7 Rings (Gay Version)
This gave me major flashbacks to that mid-2010s era of Youtube parody videos of recent hits! Those were always so funny and camp — almost borderline cringe, but that was the goal. I think you did a great job with translating the lyrical structure of Ariana’s version into this homosexual romp. It didn’t take itself seriously, which was exactly the mood that you wanted to capture. The hook of “you seen my wig?” was perfect! I also screamed at “they like the semen, all white and gleamin” and “Like Nicki’s sales, they’re the wrong numbers”. You integrated some great stan Twitter shade into this, and I think the song would have benefitted from having even more references. I felt like there were a few rhythm issues at times — notably because I was singing along to the original melody. For example, some lines in the first verse (1, 2, 6, 8) seemed to have one syllable less or one syllable more than the original song. Overall though, nice work!
 

@Julianna Calm Down - LCT
I think we found our candidate for the next We Are The World / Stand Up! To Cancer charity single What a supergroup and what an insane concept! You did a really great job of displaying each housewife’s unique personality and vibe throughout the song. Each stanza had a different rhythm to it and I felt like they were very succinct. I think my favorite was the Erika Jayne section! “You look like tomato paste” sent me. Countess was also really well done and accurate. Your creativity definitely pushed the bounds here, and it was successful in its absurdity and political metaphor. I don’t think I’m going to be able to think of lemon curd/lemon squares/etc. the same way ever again…
 

@XO_Life - Blocked
Ooh, we’re going for the meta concept here. Definitely not what I anticipated from the absurdity challenge, but you certainly took a more “mundane” concept and added some flourishes to it to meet the mark! I think if you had written more verses and ideas like in Verse 2, the intrigue of the song could have expanded quite a bit. Having like “100 ridiculous ways to destroy your ex” as your concept would have slayed tbh. I thought the punchline of the chorus was effective - “keep it simple and just call you a jerk”. Go off tbh. Sometimes getting right to the point is the most effective way! Complex and detailed verses with a sweet and short chorus… that could be a cool idea to keep building on here. As a formatting recommendation, I would definitely suggest breaking your lines into separate lines instead of having lots of commas etc. It helps the reader understand the flow and rhythm a lot better.
 

@Hug - TMI
This was a really fascinating lesson for me! Definitely sounds like an exciting genre of anime. Throughout the song, I had a great picture in my head of the entire sequence. You had many clever lines in the first verse. “…and this is how I die, not in a blaze of glory, but by a herd of cows in a local news story” is a killer transition. Then in the well-written rap, I can almost see our narrator dancing around the other world explaining all of these different inventions to the entranced audience. I really liked the way that you switched back and forth between lyrics that described internal thoughts vs. those that were spoken out loud to other characters. The change in perspective kept things moving at a brisk and interesting pace. There was also a great sense of humor and personality throughout, as well as relevant cultural references. You successfully wove excitement, exasperation, and exposition into the self-aware narrative. Great work!
 

@worldwide angel - Blue Flame
What an interesting take on destruction. It felt like such a beautiful sight to witness from a distance. Many of your lyrics gave this meditative and reflective vibe, despite depicting extreme chaos. I really liked how the narrator was recounting this experience almost as if Earth and humans were a legend that he had heard of. It adds to the otherworldly charm. All in all, this was quite successful. It wasn’t absurdity in the way that I would have expected, but it was a very creative perspective, and certainly crazy that this narrator is existing on the sun. The sad thing is how much of a reality this experience could be in the future for Miss Earth :(  I would recommend mixing things up with some more synonym choices in the future - for example, you used the color blue quite a lot - but perhaps a few of those instances could have been adjusted to another descriptive? Unless that was intentionally done to invoke that color imagery.
 

@Kylie Jenner - Madonna Came Down From The Sky
Higher Than Heaven reference yassss stream it! This was such a bizarre and surreal experience. I think it definitely captured the essence of the challenge quite well! At first, I was a bit unsure about the barebones nature of the chorus, but I actually really started to appreciate it by the end of the song. It had a clear and catchy rhythm. The Madonna verse 1 references were well integrated and clever. I felt like the Billy Joel verse 2 was a bit more forced with its references. I loved the contrast between the fire in verse 1 and the water in verse 2 though. Overall, this was quite a fascinating read. It was like a poem and the imagery was excellently done!
 

@OreGuy - Monster
Oooh what a dark and twisted bop! This challenge is taking me to such interesting places all around. The narrator is so deranged and it’s quite engaging to read about it and get introduced to both absurd characters in this duo. I think the first half of your chorus would benefit from a bit more variation in the sentence structure. The way that you integrated the serial killer names in second half (Bundy, Aileen) was much more engaging than just using “do this like X, do this like Y, do this like Z”. The bridge was a highlight for me. I could see the music building up to this climactic moment where they are running and stumbling and entangled. It has a simple level of chaos that you captured quite nicely.
 

@PoKiTaurus - Hey Simon
This was another interesting concept this round! Wouldn’t it be cool and crazy if we could actually converse with TV/video game characters as if they were human? I appreciate the idea of examining your previous traumas and painful moments with something inanimate that helped you get through that time. The catharsis of emotion was clear throughout — especially in the lines where you plead to not feel worthless or useless. The tension was palpable. I also enjoyed the verse where you questioned society’s/other people’s role in this self-harm. From a technical standpoint, you did a great job with the rhythm throughout. The conversational approach was unique and it worked pretty well, because you kept the rhyming scheme and number of syllables consistent even with the dialogue trading off. Nice work and thank you for sharing this personal memoir.
 

 

 

[fountain]

7 minutes ago, Element said:

ELEMENT'S TOTALLY ON TIME REVIEWS

Great work everyone on capturing dynamic and exciting views of absurdity! I had a great time reading all of these. Thank you @fountain and @Jackson for inviting me to guest judge!!

 

StormPulse - 7 Rings (Gay Version)
This gave me major flashbacks to that mid-2010s era of Youtube parody videos of recent hits! Those were always so funny and camp — almost borderline cringe, but that was the goal. I think you did a great job with translating the lyrical structure of Ariana’s version into this homosexual romp. It didn’t take itself seriously, which was exactly the mood that you wanted to capture. The hook of “you seen my wig?” was perfect! I also screamed at “they like the semen, all white and gleamin” and “Like Nicki’s sales, they’re the wrong numbers”. You integrated some great stan Twitter shade into this, and I think the song would have benefitted from having even more references. I felt like there were a few rhythm issues at times — notably because I was singing along to the original melody. For example, some lines in the first verse (1, 2, 6, 8) seemed to have one syllable less or one syllable more than the original song. Overall though, nice work!
 

@Julianna Calm Down - LCT
I think we found our candidate for the next We Are The World / Stand Up! To Cancer charity single What a supergroup and what an insane concept! You did a really great job of displaying each housewife’s unique personality and vibe throughout the song. Each stanza had a different rhythm to it and I felt like they were very succinct. I think my favorite was the Erika Jayne section! “You look like tomato paste” sent me. Countess was also really well done and accurate. Your creativity definitely pushed the bounds here, and it was successful in its absurdity and political metaphor. I don’t think I’m going to be able to think of lemon curd/lemon squares/etc. the same way ever again…
 

@XO_Life - Blocked
Ooh, we’re going for the meta concept here. Definitely not what I anticipated from the absurdity challenge, but you certainly took a more “mundane” concept and added some flourishes to it to meet the mark! I think if you had written more verses and ideas like in Verse 2, the intrigue of the song could have expanded quite a bit. Having like “100 ridiculous ways to destroy your ex” as your concept would have slayed tbh. I thought the punchline of the chorus was effective - “keep it simple and just call you a jerk”. Go off tbh. Sometimes getting right to the point is the most effective way! Complex and detailed verses with a sweet and short chorus… that could be a cool idea to keep building on here. As a formatting recommendation, I would definitely suggest breaking your lines into separate lines instead of having lots of commas etc. It helps the reader understand the flow and rhythm a lot better.
 

@Hug - TMI
This was a really fascinating lesson for me! Definitely sounds like an exciting genre of anime. Throughout the song, I had a great picture in my head of the entire sequence. You had many clever lines in the first verse. “…and this is how I die, not in a blaze of glory, but by a herd of cows in a local news story” is a killer transition. Then in the well-written rap, I can almost see our narrator dancing around the other world explaining all of these different inventions to the entranced audience. I really liked the way that you switched back and forth between lyrics that described internal thoughts vs. those that were spoken out loud to other characters. The change in perspective kept things moving at a brisk and interesting pace. There was also a great sense of humor and personality throughout, as well as relevant cultural references. You successfully wove excitement, exasperation, and exposition into the self-aware narrative. Great work!
 

@worldwide angel - Blue Flame
What an interesting take on destruction. It felt like such a beautiful sight to witness from a distance. Many of your lyrics gave this meditative and reflective vibe, despite depicting extreme chaos. I really liked how the narrator was recounting this experience almost as if Earth and humans were a legend that he had heard of. It adds to the otherworldly charm. All in all, this was quite successful. It wasn’t absurdity in the way that I would have expected, but it was a very creative perspective, and certainly crazy that this narrator is existing on the sun. The sad thing is how much of a reality this experience could be in the future for Miss Earth :(  I would recommend mixing things up with some more synonym choices in the future - for example, you used the color blue quite a lot - but perhaps a few of those instances could have been adjusted to another descriptive? Unless that was intentionally done to invoke that color imagery.
 

@Kylie Jenner - Madonna Came Down From The Sky
Higher Than Heaven reference yassss stream it! This was such a bizarre and surreal experience. I think it definitely captured the essence of the challenge quite well! At first, I was a bit unsure about the barebones nature of the chorus, but I actually really started to appreciate it by the end of the song. It had a clear and catchy rhythm. The Madonna verse 1 references were well integrated and clever. I felt like the Billy Joel verse 2 was a bit more forced with its references. I loved the contrast between the fire in verse 1 and the water in verse 2 though. Overall, this was quite a fascinating read. It was like a poem and the imagery was excellently done!
 

@OreGuy - Monster
Oooh what a dark and twisted bop! This challenge is taking me to such interesting places all around. The narrator is so deranged and it’s quite engaging to read about it and get introduced to both absurd characters in this duo. I think the first half of your chorus would benefit from a bit more variation in the sentence structure. The way that you integrated the serial killer names in second half (Bundy, Aileen) was much more engaging than just using “do this like X, do this like Y, do this like Z”. The bridge was a highlight for me. I could see the music building up to this climactic moment where they are running and stumbling and entangled. It has a simple level of chaos that you captured quite nicely.
 

@PoKiTaurus - Hey Simon
This was another interesting concept this round! Wouldn’t it be cool and crazy if we could actually converse with TV/video game characters as if they were human? I appreciate the idea of examining your previous traumas and painful moments with something inanimate that helped you get through that time. The catharsis of emotion was clear throughout — especially in the lines where you plead to not feel worthless or useless. The tension was palpable. I also enjoyed the verse where you questioned society’s/other people’s role in this self-harm. From a technical standpoint, you did a great job with the rhythm throughout. The conversational approach was unique and it worked pretty well, because you kept the rhyming scheme and number of syllables consistent even with the dialogue trading off. Nice work and thank you for sharing this personal memoir.
 

 

 

Ahh thank you king  very glad to have you a part of the judging this round, and always

 

8 minutes ago, Element said:

 

@Julianna Calm Down - LCT
I think we found our candidate for the next We Are The World / Stand Up! To Cancer charity single

[Jackson]

17 minutes ago, Element said:

ELEMENT'S TOTALLY ON TIME REVIEWS

 

king of punctuality  

[fountain]

And with our lovely guest judge’s scores in the results are here! Will be revealing them in 40 minutes from this post, 7:30 EST

 

@Julianna Calm Down @XO_Life @Hug @worldwide angel @OreGuy @PoKiTaurus @Kylie Jenner

[Hug]

13 minutes ago, fountain said:

And with our lovely guest judge’s scores in the results are here! Will be revealing them in 40 minutes from this post, 7:30 EST

 

@Julianna Calm Down @XO_Life @Hug @worldwide angel @OreGuy @PoKiTaurus @Kylie Jenner

Ahhhh!!

[Hug]

I'm top 10 this week I just know it

[fountain]

1 minute ago, Hug said:

I'm top 10 this week I just know it

I wouldn’t be so cocky, Golden Hit is full of twists and drama so don’t get comfy 

[Jackson]

7 minutes ago, Hug said:

I'm top 10 this week I just know it

maybe in an isekai  

[worldwide angel]

48 minutes ago, Element said:

ELEMENT'S TOTALLY ON TIME REVIEWS

Great work everyone on capturing dynamic and exciting views of absurdity! I had a great time reading all of these. Thank you @fountain and @Jackson for inviting me to guest judge!!

 

StormPulse - 7 Rings (Gay Version)
This gave me major flashbacks to that mid-2010s era of Youtube parody videos of recent hits! Those were always so funny and camp — almost borderline cringe, but that was the goal. I think you did a great job with translating the lyrical structure of Ariana’s version into this homosexual romp. It didn’t take itself seriously, which was exactly the mood that you wanted to capture. The hook of “you seen my wig?” was perfect! I also screamed at “they like the semen, all white and gleamin” and “Like Nicki’s sales, they’re the wrong numbers”. You integrated some great stan Twitter shade into this, and I think the song would have benefitted from having even more references. I felt like there were a few rhythm issues at times — notably because I was singing along to the original melody. For example, some lines in the first verse (1, 2, 6, 8) seemed to have one syllable less or one syllable more than the original song. Overall though, nice work!
 

@Julianna Calm Down - LCT
I think we found our candidate for the next We Are The World / Stand Up! To Cancer charity single What a supergroup and what an insane concept! You did a really great job of displaying each housewife’s unique personality and vibe throughout the song. Each stanza had a different rhythm to it and I felt like they were very succinct. I think my favorite was the Erika Jayne section! “You look like tomato paste” sent me. Countess was also really well done and accurate. Your creativity definitely pushed the bounds here, and it was successful in its absurdity and political metaphor. I don’t think I’m going to be able to think of lemon curd/lemon squares/etc. the same way ever again…
 

@XO_Life - Blocked
Ooh, we’re going for the meta concept here. Definitely not what I anticipated from the absurdity challenge, but you certainly took a more “mundane” concept and added some flourishes to it to meet the mark! I think if you had written more verses and ideas like in Verse 2, the intrigue of the song could have expanded quite a bit. Having like “100 ridiculous ways to destroy your ex” as your concept would have slayed tbh. I thought the punchline of the chorus was effective - “keep it simple and just call you a jerk”. Go off tbh. Sometimes getting right to the point is the most effective way! Complex and detailed verses with a sweet and short chorus… that could be a cool idea to keep building on here. As a formatting recommendation, I would definitely suggest breaking your lines into separate lines instead of having lots of commas etc. It helps the reader understand the flow and rhythm a lot better.
 

@Hug - TMI
This was a really fascinating lesson for me! Definitely sounds like an exciting genre of anime. Throughout the song, I had a great picture in my head of the entire sequence. You had many clever lines in the first verse. “…and this is how I die, not in a blaze of glory, but by a herd of cows in a local news story” is a killer transition. Then in the well-written rap, I can almost see our narrator dancing around the other world explaining all of these different inventions to the entranced audience. I really liked the way that you switched back and forth between lyrics that described internal thoughts vs. those that were spoken out loud to other characters. The change in perspective kept things moving at a brisk and interesting pace. There was also a great sense of humor and personality throughout, as well as relevant cultural references. You successfully wove excitement, exasperation, and exposition into the self-aware narrative. Great work!
 

@worldwide angel - Blue Flame
What an interesting take on destruction. It felt like such a beautiful sight to witness from a distance. Many of your lyrics gave this meditative and reflective vibe, despite depicting extreme chaos. I really liked how the narrator was recounting this experience almost as if Earth and humans were a legend that he had heard of. It adds to the otherworldly charm. All in all, this was quite successful. It wasn’t absurdity in the way that I would have expected, but it was a very creative perspective, and certainly crazy that this narrator is existing on the sun. The sad thing is how much of a reality this experience could be in the future for Miss Earth :(  I would recommend mixing things up with some more synonym choices in the future - for example, you used the color blue quite a lot - but perhaps a few of those instances could have been adjusted to another descriptive? Unless that was intentionally done to invoke that color imagery.
 

@Kylie Jenner - Madonna Came Down From The Sky
Higher Than Heaven reference yassss stream it! This was such a bizarre and surreal experience. I think it definitely captured the essence of the challenge quite well! At first, I was a bit unsure about the barebones nature of the chorus, but I actually really started to appreciate it by the end of the song. It had a clear and catchy rhythm. The Madonna verse 1 references were well integrated and clever. I felt like the Billy Joel verse 2 was a bit more forced with its references. I loved the contrast between the fire in verse 1 and the water in verse 2 though. Overall, this was quite a fascinating read. It was like a poem and the imagery was excellently done!
 

@OreGuy - Monster
Oooh what a dark and twisted bop! This challenge is taking me to such interesting places all around. The narrator is so deranged and it’s quite engaging to read about it and get introduced to both absurd characters in this duo. I think the first half of your chorus would benefit from a bit more variation in the sentence structure. The way that you integrated the serial killer names in second half (Bundy, Aileen) was much more engaging than just using “do this like X, do this like Y, do this like Z”. The bridge was a highlight for me. I could see the music building up to this climactic moment where they are running and stumbling and entangled. It has a simple level of chaos that you captured quite nicely.
 

@PoKiTaurus - Hey Simon
This was another interesting concept this round! Wouldn’t it be cool and crazy if we could actually converse with TV/video game characters as if they were human? I appreciate the idea of examining your previous traumas and painful moments with something inanimate that helped you get through that time. The catharsis of emotion was clear throughout — especially in the lines where you plead to not feel worthless or useless. The tension was palpable. I also enjoyed the verse where you questioned society’s/other people’s role in this self-harm. From a technical standpoint, you did a great job with the rhythm throughout. The conversational approach was unique and it worked pretty well, because you kept the rhyming scheme and number of syllables consistent even with the dialogue trading off. Nice work and thank you for sharing this personal memoir.
 

 

 

 thank you 

[fountain]

Round 4, Absurdity Results!

Thank you all for embracing and tackling this unconventional round. The entries we received were all so unique and entertaining, so many different styles and moods were shown this round that it’s high key one of my favourite this season! It was great seeing all your different interpretations of the theme and where you took it, and I hope you had as much fun writing as we did reading the songs. But, now on with the results!

First as a reminder though, starting with this round and up until the finale your scores will no longer be revealed for your songs to keep your averages for the season a secret until the end. Bare this in mind when looking at the results, as often the scores can be very very close, so just judging your performance based on where the song ranks does not always reveal just how high the song possibly scored. All will be revealed at the finale, but for now try not to overthink whatever the results may be!

 🌸
 

Spoiler

@Julianna Calm Down @XO_Life @Hug @worldwide angel @OreGuy @PoKiTaurus @Kylie Jenner@StormPulse @Jackson @Legend E @JoeAg @Element

Edited July 18, 2023 by fountain

[fountain]

At #8…

is @XO_Life with “Blocked”

You may have faced writers block this round, but regardless you pushed through and still wrote and submitted this song so that is definitely something to be proud of. This season so far has been your most successful and this song is simply an outlier, and I’m excited to see you back with a vengeance next round!

[Jackson]

still a bop idc

[fountain]

At #7…

is StormPulse with “7 Rings (Gay Version)”

You served camp gay excellence with this parody song, a first for Golden Hit!

[Jackson]

yes the frankie grande jam

[fountain]

At #6…

is @Kylie Jenner with “Madonna Came Down From The Sky”

Well speaking purely from a personal standpoint, despite this being your ~lowest~ ranking song so far this season I can attest that I absolutely loved it and I might even call it my favourite from you so far! I’ll never get the image of Madonna transforming into a UFO out of my head, honestly. Another banger in your season 4 repertoire, let me go stream it again!

[fountain]

I can confirm I am streaming Madonna Came Down From The Sky

[fountain]

Madge I’ve got to go

youre no guardian angel

I love you but I’ve got places to be

Edited July 18, 2023 by fountain

[fountain]

At #4 is…

a tie!

@OreGuy with “Monster”

and

@PoKiTaurus with “Hey Simon”

Congrats to you both! This is the highest rank for both of you so far this season so I hope you are proud of yourselves. These were certainly the two darkest songs of the round, so in a way it’s quite poetic for them to tie together! 

[Jackson]

you may have been tripping on acid when you wrote it but i was falling for your ode to madonna