discussion Are gay, bi, straight, asex and les the only acceptable sexual orientations?

[Pop Life]

The examples listed in the OP and the ones in the title are two completely different categories though. Gay, straight, bi, pan and asex are orientations. Labels like Demisexual are about how those orientations might manifest.

They're not part of the alphabet and I don't think anyone's claiming they are. But sexuality is a highly nuanced thing and two gay people (or straight people) might experience their sexuality very differently.

 

2 hours ago, taipei said:

LGBs really gotta leave the Ts…Qs and enbies / others on their own. We gave them everything yet they hate us so much. Why not go fight on your own then? Because as soon as we say that they start crying and saying that we must unite and blah blah blah. I can’t wait for this nightmare to be over

The way this thread didn't even mention trans people yet you still felt compelled to. Obsessive

Edited August 28, 2022 by Pop Life

[GraceRandolph]

2 hours ago, Love Again said:

I'd add pan in there as well. Some bisexual guys still don't like dating trans men/trans women

Thats not a separate sexuality though. 

[GraceRandolph]

Those ones listed are the main ones that we need to describe our experiences. Even the pansexual label feels similar enough to bisexual. Everything beyond these labels is essentially a micro-label or paraphilia, not a sexual orientation. 

[Obsession]

2 hours ago, taipei said:

LGBs really gotta leave the Ts…Qs and enbies / others on their own. We gave them everything yet they hate us so much. Why not go fight on your own then? Because as soon as we say that they start crying and saying that we must unite and blah blah blah. I can’t wait for this nightmare to be over

This is straight up false because trans people were literally on the frontlines fighting for gay rights. So no, the rest of the community didn't give them anything, they fought for their rights alongside the rest of the community.

 

I think the graysexual/demisexual stuff is trivial and I don't think cisgender asexuals should be grouped with the community.

Edited August 28, 2022 by Obsession

[TheCheshireCat]

I've found that a lot of the newer labels are used almost as a Trojan Horse for straight girls in long-term monogamous relationships with straight men to enter LGBT spaces without feeling guilty.

[blueberries]

Only straight, bi, gay and asexual are a thing

[terrorblade]

I'm sexsexual

[Mitsouko]

Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, and asexual cover everything. So you’re right, everything else is superfluous.

[youreyesgocold]

I am frequently frustrated with the amount of labels we have now, and I agree with some of the opinions in here that a lot of these new labels can be grouped into one of the “main” sexuality ones, with a specificity related to preferences (intelligence vs blondes is a good example). 
 

At the same time, I feel like everyone should feel free to label themselves however they like… but then there become too many words and it’s basically impossible for everyone in the “gp” so to speak to keep track. So I think if you want to use one of these super specific terms you also need to be realistic towards the fact that your label is never going to be something understood by everyone (look how long it took for just gay/les to be accepted into modern culture, and the struggle that trans people still have with what exposure). This isn’t me saying “you aren’t as important”, it is me saying “you will need to go out of your way to explain yourself all the time”. For example “I am sapiosexual which means…” vs “I’m straight and I think smart people are hot” which is just a lot easier to explain. 
 

Also I see a lot of people grouping pan and bi together but I disagree on that one actually… bi is “binary” so it automatically excludes anyone who does not fit into one of the binary sexes/genders. I would say the term itself is outdated, but I know there are people who wouldn’t date someone who falls outside the binary. For that reason, it makes sense to separate bi from pan imo (for example someone who presents as female but has a p*nis is not someone that a bi person might be attracted to, or at least that’s how I understand it)

[GentleEarthquake]

3 hours ago, taipei said:

LGBs really gotta leave the Ts…Qs and enbies / others on their own. We gave them everything yet they hate us so much. Why not go fight on your own then? Because as soon as we say that they start crying and saying that we must unite and blah blah blah. I can’t wait for this nightmare to be over

what a gross and disgusting take, go touch some grass

[John Slayne]

so y'all drag people for being 'unlabeled' but when they label themselves in a way you don't like/understand that's wrong too?

 

make it make sense

 

Edited August 28, 2022 by John Slayne

[John Slayne]

3 hours ago, princedonte said:

It makes us look like a joke. Language needs to be set. It can’t change so often you have to teach people new terms and definitions constantly. 

you think languages fell from heaven and were prescribed to us by god?  languages literally evolve all the time to suit our needs, this take is so ridiculous 

[Great808]

Yes af can we have the same conversation about gender too or is this site too sensitive for that? 

[Patient Zero]

21 minutes ago, Great808 said:

Yes af can we have the same conversation about gender too or is this site too sensitive for that? 

Maybe, if you want half of the site banned

 

 

[Trent W]

If we claim sexuality is a spectrum, everything would travel through a gay, bi, straight in the scale.

 

Asexuality imo shouldn’t be a sexual orientation, is just a person that doesn’t want or have an urge to participate on the spectrum, cause if we follow that theory there’s no fit in there, unless we calculate an spectrum were sexual appetite is the sprectrum.

 

Pansexuality shouldn’t be in the spectrum either, cause trans men and women at the end of the day are men or women, that should have it’s own spectrum of how much a person is attracted to a trans person.

 

Son imo the only sexualities are Gay, Bi, Straight in percentages, while terms like Asexual and Pansexual just describe other traits of preference, but they are not sexualities.

 

[Communion]

1 hour ago, chromatic said:

certain labels like gay, lesbian, bisexual, asexual, etc. are obviously useful...but i feel like any attempt to typologize human sexuality into any specific number of rigidly defined labels is fruitless because of how complex and fluid sexuality is, especially queer sexuality. sometimes some of the ultraspecific sexual orientations with obscure names kinda give LGBT astrology  but ultimately it's harmless. it would be delusional to think that people who identify as demisexual etc. are somehow detracting from the wider movement in any significant way.

[CottageHore]

I don’t care. People can identify however they want. It has no effect on me whatsoever. I do understand why people get annoyed by it, though. It becomes very convoluted and many of the labels are a bit redundant, but I’m not losing sleep over it.

Edited August 29, 2022 by CottageHore

[Gladiator]

For simplicity sake, I label myself as bisexual when asked, but I am pansexual. I found the overwhelming majority of people did not know what pansexual was and would say "oh so you're bi" so I just say that instead. Though unless you ask me or you have knowledge of who I am interested in, my sexuality is not something I discuss since it is nobody's concern.

Edited August 30, 2022 by Gladiator

[DanyelP23]

On 8/28/2022 at 10:14 PM, TheCheshireCat said:

I've found that a lot of the newer labels are used almost as a Trojan Horse for straight girls in long-term monogamous relationships with straight men to enter LGBT spaces without feeling guilty.

I mean I don't think that's the case 100% but there does seem to be a trend, especially on the tiktok app and the bird website.

It reminded me of this tweet, that made me giggle a biT.

 

 

I also see a few bi girls on Tiktok saying that them being in a relationship with a het man is a queer relationship, as if that relationship is somewhat a baby who takes the "sexuality" of the most oppressed partner

 

----

 

I definitely think that some of the concepts described by terms such as demisexual are valid and real, but I would not classify them as a sexuality on its own.

Like, if ur str8 and demisexual, I wouldn't categorize that as part of the LGBT+/Queer community, but at the same time, you won't find me fighting online ppl that choose to categorize them as such. I'll have my little giggle and keep it qt.

 

Also, I noticed, at least in terms of the demisexual label, plenty ppl only choose to alter its meaning to drag people that identify as such, saying that most ppl are demisexual aka they have standards - thinking it means "not sleeping with someone until you get to know them better" instead of the actual meaning: "feeling sexual attraction to someone after they've formed a strong emotional bond with them". Like yes, a lot of people would not have sex with someone unless they get into a relationship and achieve a certain bond level, but that does not equate to not having sexual attraction to that someone BEFORE having sex with them.

 

---

 

Also, yikes at the person in this thread trying to create more unnecessary divide between LGB and T. Trans people are not only straight, they can be bi, gay/lesbian, or asexual.

 

 

[UnusualBoy]

Yeah, some of them are basically unnecessary since they can fall into any of the other terms.

[shookspeare]

yes and gatekeeping is not a bad thing

[Wicked]

On 8/28/2022 at 12:03 PM, JohnWayneHolland said:

"Graysexual" is literally Asexual.

 

Grayaces are a specific group of asexuals, the specificity helps to reflect their different experiences within aces, saying they're using it to feel special is... 

[CaptainMusic]

On 8/28/2022 at 5:03 PM, JohnWayneHolland said:

people just trying to find new ways to feel unique and special? 

This is what it seems like to me and most people…

 

My Mum is accepting of the LGBT community but I remember when she asked me to explain why there are so many new sexualities being added as she wants to understand and I couldn’t  

Edited August 31, 2022 by CaptainMusic

[princedonte]

On 8/28/2022 at 3:14 PM, John Slayne said:

you think languages fell from heaven and were prescribed to us by god?  languages literally evolve all the time to suit our needs, this take is so ridiculous 

Late reply but I did not say that at all. Language changes but not in that way. You took everything I said and put a different context to it. I despise this community. 

Edited September 4, 2022 by princedonte

[John Slayne]

55 minutes ago, princedonte said:

Late reply but I did not say that at all. Language changes but not in that way. You took everything I said and put a different context to it. I despise this community. 

In what way does language change then? Who has the authority to change it if not people, you know, the beings that actually create it and use it? 

 

You can stay bitter and pressed, won't change the fact that your argument makes no sense.

Edited September 4, 2022 by John Slayne