fountain Posted June 3, 2022 Author Posted June 3, 2022 From the entries I have read so far I would say this is the strongest round at this point
Jackson Posted June 3, 2022 Posted June 3, 2022 16 minutes ago, Julia Fox said: whatās round 4? we have to write this songĀ Ā
diamondsky Posted June 3, 2022 Posted June 3, 2022 3 hours ago, Prisoner said: Here's my updated discography. I just realized I have written quite a lot by now upon compiling this list. I'll also be releasing the cover for my current EP, Drift Away soonĀ Ā Ā Hide contents ESCAPISM: Ā 1. Bleeding 2. Rainbow in the Sky 3. Nintendo Entertainment System 4. A Song of the Dancing Eons 5. The Legend of Metal 6. A Bug in the System 7. Escapism 8. Exo Bonus: 9. Paint Walls With Me Ā Canon: Ā Ā 1. The Hall of EgressĀ 2. Fishing 3. A Bicycle Ride 4. Pachelbel - Canon 5. Forever Classics 6. Drown 7. Inferno 8. Exo Pt. II (Bonus) 9. Bamboo Swords 10. Departure Ā Far Away: Ā 1. Fireplace 2. Four Leaf Clover Ā My Way: Ā Ā 1. Hopelessly Devoted To You 2. One day you're driving your dad's old car 3. Beyond the Backyard Fence 4. A Sea of Daffodils 5. My Way 6. Highway 7. When I Pretend 8. Right now I'm driving home from work 9. Space Pirates Ā Drift Away: Ā [Cover to be released soon] Ā 1. Wind Chimes 2. Drift Away 3. Crying in the back of a cab, and you're not. 4. TBA 5. TBA 6. TBA Ā Are these all entries for previous rounds? Love the artwork you choseĀ Ā also. Is hall of egress a reference to one of the best AT episodesĀ
fountain Posted June 3, 2022 Author Posted June 3, 2022 53 minutes ago, Jackson said: we have to write this songĀ Ā Plz āBaddie and Daddy Dā could absolutely be a @Hug title
Jackson Posted June 3, 2022 Posted June 3, 2022 2 minutes ago, fountain said: Plz āBaddie and Daddy Dā could absolutely be a @Hug title i need @HugĀ and @RemmyĀ to make it happen NOW
fountain Posted June 3, 2022 Author Posted June 3, 2022 6 minutes ago, Jackson said: i need @HugĀ and @RemmyĀ to make it happen NOW Hug as Baddie, Remmy as Daddy Dā¦ maybe we will last minute change next round to a collab challenge so we can make this happen
JoeAg Posted June 4, 2022 Posted June 4, 2022 iām so sorry i havenāt submitted yet, my life has been insane for the past three days and going nonstop nonstop nonstopĀ Ā iāll try to submit by the late night tonight Ā and then the audios for this week and last week themselvesā¦ f*cking mess lol iāll try to do these this weekend too
fountain Posted June 4, 2022 Author Posted June 4, 2022 3 minutes ago, JoeAg said: iām so sorry i havenāt submitted yet, my life has been insane for the past three days and going nonstop nonstop nonstopĀ Ā iāll try to submit by the late night tonight Ā and then the audios for this week and last week themselvesā¦ f*cking mess lol iāll try to do these this weekend too Itās okay we are still reviewing so itās all fine, good luck with itĀ Ā Iām definitely looking forward to hearing the audio for your last song, but donāt pressure yourself too much!
fountain Posted June 4, 2022 Author Posted June 4, 2022 34 minutes ago, D e v o n said: Can I still submit? @fountain Sure, but as soon as possible pleaseĀ
Remmy Posted June 4, 2022 Posted June 4, 2022 8 hours ago, Jackson said: we have to write this songĀ Ā Oh I could do this easily! Ā 8 hours ago, Jackson said: i need @HugĀ and @RemmyĀ to make it happen NOW So much demand for a collab Ā Billboard ain't ready for real 35 minutes ago, D e v o n said: Can I still submit? @fountain Just do it and hope the answer is yes Ā (It likely will be anyway) -- edit: oh
DevonRoars Posted June 4, 2022 Posted June 4, 2022 28 minutes ago, fountain said: Sure, but as soon as possible pleaseĀ Iām at work so it wonāt be until the morningĀ
Prisoner Posted June 4, 2022 Posted June 4, 2022 10 hours ago, ālex said: Are these all entries for previous rounds? Love the artwork you choseĀ Ā also. Is hall of egress a reference to one of the best AT episodesĀ Thank you and yes, yes it is. Such an excellent episode
Aurora Posted June 4, 2022 Posted June 4, 2022 Got off work early so gonna squeeze in some more reviews before sleep. Ā Had a bit of a hectic week this week so sorry they're not as prompt as you've maybe come to anticipate!
Aurora Posted June 4, 2022 Posted June 4, 2022 21 hours ago, 8thPrince said: Had a typo in my song @Aurora @element @fountain should be āyou want TO leaveā my bad Noted!Ā *Subtracts 0.5 from score.*
fountain Posted June 4, 2022 Author Posted June 4, 2022 24 minutes ago, Aurora said: Got off work early so gonna squeeze in some more reviews before sleep. Ā Had a bit of a hectic week this week so sorry they're not as prompt as you've maybe come to anticipate!
fountain Posted June 4, 2022 Author Posted June 4, 2022 Going to be posting some reviews soon, I really prefer posting them all at once but I havenāt been at home during this reviewing period so Iāve had less opportunity to do them all at once, I have about half done so will be posting them first and the rest will come after Iāve had the chance to complete them
Julia Fox Posted June 4, 2022 Posted June 4, 2022 4 minutes ago, fountain said: Going to be posting some reviews soon, I really prefer posting them all at once but I havenāt been at home during this reviewing period so Iāve had less opportunity to do them all at once, I have about half done so will be posting them first and the rest will come after Iāve had the chance to complete them Donāt worry babe, just post them!Ā
fountain Posted June 4, 2022 Author Posted June 4, 2022 (edited) Ā Round 3: The ATW10MVTVFTV Challenge, part one Ā Hurray for another great round of songwriting! Thank you to everybody who submitted, this was definitely the tougher of the challenges so far but I hope being pushed outside of your box like this ultimately was a useful and learning experience, and that you are proud of what you created this round! Personally I believe it has paid off and we are looking at the strongest round of entries thus far. But Ā donāt worry, next round I think will be more universal.Ā Ā @DatChickDoe - Days Spill on Like Blood Ā So youāre actually like nine words short of 500, but thatās very minor so it wonāt be anything worth penalising in my opinion, but it should be noted. Your song is obviously extremely timely and very inspired by recent events, and the truth is it can be very hard with songs tackling themes of this nature especially when they are so fresh in the mind and raw. That said, I think you did a very good job with it. While it can be hard and all of those things, I think what you created here was very eloquent and quite the statement piece. Itās the type of thing that I can hear read out as performance art, at a protest or something. Itās powerful. The verse about the Buffalo shooting was particularly moving, and I think structurally it worked well as the whole song kind of built up to that moment, and then afterwards you have the verses which are more about reflection, and I thought that was a really smart choice. Ultimately, I think youāve done a wonderful job, sure itās a few words short but the song is very hard hitting, and I have to say itās amazing seeing another huge leap in growth with you, you should certainly be proud. I am hoping to see you in that top ten this time! Ā @HugĀ - mm Ā I think in terms of the type of song youāve went for youāve pulled it off brilliantly, and structurally this is really the type of song I was hoping for this round. Thematically itās obviously very emotive and a touching story, of course itās hard not to read this and feel it in your heart, so great job achieving that. The first part specifically, when it's looking back at all of the things in the past, thatās an absolute 10/10 there. What I loved about it specifically was the details, you can get the same message across in a much more generic way but in the way youāve done it youāve imbued it with so much detail that the story truly feels real, it paints a full picture of these scenes and gives you all these sentimental things toĀ attach to. In another situation you could have left these things out and it would still be emotive, but itās these specifics that make the song and the story more unique and acts as an emotional anchor to the song, so great job with all of that. The latter part where itās the narrator reflecting on how they feel now, I felt that part couldāve been a little shorter (the 6th and 7th verses could be removed and it would not have much of an impact), specifically because once you go from all of that very detailed backstory, to a section which is more standard and lacking uniqueness like that, it doesnāt totally live up to the highs of the first part, but it does of course complete the story and put a finish to what was a fantastic entry. So I suppose if thereās any advice that I am supposed to offer you from this, itās to make every part of the song really count, especially in a challenge like this where we are asking for songs of a certain length, if parts could be left out and considered filler-y then they could use an edit to make them more crucial to your entry, but obviously I gather from your posts that this was not an ideal challenge for you so I understand if that was just overlooked and more so just to get to the word count. But overall, despite liking or not liking the challenge youāve done a really great job, this is my favourite entry from you thus far. Ā @hurricane326 - Fight Ā This a wonderfully powerful, poetic and inspiring entry. People need to hear words like this right now, this literally is art, the type that not just your country but the world at large need. I donāt really have any criticism or anything much to comment on because you said what needs to be said, and you said it brilliantly. In my opinion I would say this is your best entry so far, youāve been poetic in the past and have had really beautiful lyrics but I think everything came together here; and, I think you took the feedback I gave toward your last entry about how it needed context to understand previously, and here youāve created something that can fully stand on its own and remains poetic while also having its message and meaning being clear, so amazing job.Ā Ā @Julia Fox - endrophy Ā I think you executed the challenge very well, structurally your song is very nice and it flows in a nice way too, so I think you have embraced and took on the challenge well. I think that on the lyrical side this maybe could have used a bit more editing or reworking. There are some parts that I really enjoy, but there are some parts that also get a bit muddy, where the imagery and the message you are trying to put across get muddled and it feels ultimately kind of confused; for example the lines āI can feel the air caressing my skin, it feels so good inside of meāā¦ do you have skin on your insides? The point ultimately becomes confusing because something seems lost in the execution of the image you were going for. I think overall youāve written a nice empowerment song, and itās unique because your writing is unique and I like that, but there are other examples that I can point out that maybe could have used rethinking - in the second bridge you say āwho cares when you feel the vibrationsā, and whatever these vibrations are supposed to be are never talked about prior or after this line, so ultimately I am not sure what it adds to the song, itās a nice idea but it hasnāt been expanded upon at all so in the overall song it ultimately becomes a filler line and there are a few like this throughout the song which leaves it feeling somewhat disjointed as an overall piece. I love your writing but my advice for the future would be to try and make the story you are telling and the imagery and metaphors you use as comprehensive as possible.Ā Ā @OreGuy - Simple As Red Ā This feels like such a huge growth! I think this is the most poetic song I have ever read from you. I really, really enjoyed reading it. I think overall itās a very touching song but the verses and particularly the outro blew me away, your writing in those sections truly excelled and I think you should be very proud of what you have written here. The outro specifically just made me so happy, I mean not from the lyrics themselves because obviously they are very emotional, but your writing there was just so good, it felt very confessional but also very wise and understanding, it can be hard to write in that style as laying things down like that can come across messy because of the amount of emotion but you executed it perfectly and that section just left me so impressed. I would love to see you working with this style again because I absolutely loved it. I think you should be really proud of this song, youāve done a fantastic job with this challenge.Ā Ā @Remmy - Nonstop Hardcore Ā NOT THE NSFW GIF!!!!! I think itās tricky with songs like this, when every line is a reiteration of the same point (the point being: āI want sexā) is can kind of get boring at a point, the shock wears off, and I think this is especially the case when youāve already submitted another entry in the same vein. But youā¦ you little *****ā¦ you are just a poet, and somehow you pull it off, because I donāt know how you come up with this stuff, but it is genius. This is a viral hit waiting to happen (also probably viral in other ways but perhaps letās not dwell on that) and, yup, youāve done it again. You had me laughing again at certain lines, specific honourable mentions are āreverse birth, bout to brown, ass clean, no brownā and āhe do sign language while his hand up my *****ā, I mean that really speaks to the soul and the important issues, right? I donāt really know what more to say about this butā¦ your mindā¦ your depraved, genius mind. Ā @Better MistakesĀ - You Have Changed Me Ā āAināt it funny that you hurt me and yet, Iām the one here whoās changedā OUCH. That line hit hard, damn. I think this is definitely my favourite entry of yours so far. The song is insanely relatable, I mean Iām pretty sure everybody has felt themselves in a position similar to this before, and youāve done a really good job of taking that emotion and creating a song out of it, so great job. I also think this is the entry that has shown off your writing the most so far, I would love if in the future rounds you could attempt something like this again because I really enjoyed seeing your writing flourish like this, that like I quoted specifically was a total revelation but there were also many more in the song which themselves were nice. Overall I think youāve shown some huge growth here, I think you should be proud of having written this song and Iām definitely hoping to see you higher up on the rankings this round, you deserve it!Ā Ā @Euterpe - A Nymphās Campfire Tale Ā This song is so poetic and the imagery is so lush. It was just so lovely to read and to be transported to this world of the Nymphās that you have crafted. Really beautiful work. I like that this feels quite open to interpretation, I can keep reading it again and again and come to different conclusions, find new things and create altering theories, and I love that in writing and in a song, and if you are going for that I think you have executed it perfectly. If I did have one criticism, which really isnāt a criticism but rather something that I suppose I just hoped for, it is that I felt like the verses themselves could have been a little longer, it felt at times as though a verse would end just as it was settling upon an idea, and then it would move onto the next verse. I donāt know if this is by design but it left me wanting more, it was very alluring, and thatās not specifically a bad thing because it is also quite smart in how it keeps the intrigue high in the song and keeps you going on and wanting to read more, but it can also sometimes be tricky to pull off so thatās just something to bare in mind, I think it worked here but in another situation it could have felt lacking. Overall another very strong entry from you, I am loving reading your writing and really canāt wait to see more! Ā @EpicSongFan - Illusion of Lovinā You Ā Iām kinda getting Mariah from your song again, I can definitely hear her singing this! I think overall this is a really solid, nice song. The subject matter is pretty relatable, and I like the way youāve tackled it; specifically youāve used the challenge and the extra word count to tell a complete story, truly looking deep into the feelings of said illusion of love and then also progressing the story and completing it with the act of moving on at the end. If there is any advice that I would look to offer you itās that maybe next round could be a switch up in terms of theme, Iāve really liked both of these last two songs but theyāve had similar themes and have looked at both sides of love, and I think in the future Iād like to see you explore other concepts again, not necessarily something similar to Scorching Memory again but I think youāve tackled these two songs centering on love very well, and perhaps now we can see you take things in another direction next time, or even incorporating multiple themes into a song. At the same time though, youāve executed these love related songs very well, so you could also stick to them if you wanted and continue exploring the area if you find unique ways to look at it, entirely up to you. Knowing what the next challenge is, Iām interested to see how you explore it. Overall a good job again this round! Ā @Tylerbv - Running in Circles Ā This is a really interesting songā¦ it walks the line and Iām not sure if you meant for it more to be like a declaration of love, or a cry for help, but personally I found it quite sad. Itās relatable because I feel like Iāve been in a position before where somebody has made me feel like thisā¦ on a personal level Iām hoping for the best for you, because this sounds quite toxic, and I would love it if you could be a bit more empowered, and get out of this situation, but reallyā¦ Iāve been there and I feel this. It really sucks. I donāt really have any lyrical critiques because like you said itās more like a confessional and outpouring song and I believe you executed that style well in putting across the differing emotions in a situation like this, which could otherwise be hard to do. Itās not a poetic or metaphorical song, but it still made me thoughtful, because the situation is tricky. If I were to be nit picky, I would point out that the word count is mostly filled out by repetition, so I think structurally you probably could have embraced the challenge more and it might have been even more interesting if the song lacked those repeating parts and instead just had more of your confessional thoughts. But, overall I think this is a very solid entry and probably my favourite from you so far, you really did make me feel these complex emotions in an interesting way and it resulted in a very melancholic and reflective mood. Ā @Augmented - The Aisle Ā Ā You called your song a mess but I really donāt think it is. I love how you executed the challenge, the altering chorus and pre chorus was used very well, and overall youāve managed to tell a really vivid story. Something that I like specifically, which feels like a conscious choice, is that you never reveal specifically why the person getting married feels this way, with what happened to them and what the other person has done. I feel like youāve cleverly avoided heading into melodramatic territory by obscuring these details, since there is already the drama of it taking place at a wedding ceremony and being about this heavy emotion, revealing further dramatic details may have ended up taking away from the poignancy and made it seem less real, but youāve struck a very clever balance here with the way you have written the song which is really a good display of control; that, sometimes, less can be more, and youāve used that idea well. The song is kept intriguing and also emotive thanks to this and I think these are signs of a good writer, even if you werenāt specifically thinking of these things when writing it, youāve still subconsciously achieved it. Overall, I think your doubt in your entry is misplaced, as I have really enjoyed it. Good job. Ā @Arrows - I Hope Youāre Satisfied Now Ā āI say things dramatically, but that never made them less trueā ok punch me. From a lyrical standpoint, this is absolutely your strongest entry so far. What I love specifically is how personal youāve made the song, with all of these direct details; I donāt know if they are conversations or things that have actually happened or if you have conceived this for your entry, but regardless it all adds so much personality to the song. The thing is in writing, there are so many people writing so many songs, thereās always going to be overlap in themes and in the emotion that is trying to be put across in writing, but thanks to how personal and unique to the situation you have made this song, it doesnāt end up falling into that area of āIāve heard something like this beforeā. Since youāve done it so well here my advice for the future would be to use this as an example of how to imbue your song with personality, so that even if you are writing about the most generic of themes your song can still stand out and have its merit thanks to this use of emotive detail. Overall, itās hard to say because Iāve enjoyed each of your songs, but I think this may be the best so far. Another great job from you,Ā canāt wait to see more! Ā Edited June 4, 2022 by fountain
fountain Posted June 4, 2022 Author Posted June 4, 2022 Will be posting Round 4 in the next few hours btwĀ
ATRL Moderator Legend E Posted June 4, 2022 ATRL Moderator Posted June 4, 2022 seems like i'll flop based on these good reviews Ā Ā
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