ceremonials Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 Just now, Speezy said: So rihsluts tomorrow Tonite
Temporal Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 In all seriousness, sorry I served mess this week. Again, I'll be back to serving swiftness next round.
SaintWest Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 3 minutes ago, Temporal said: In all seriousness, sorry I served mess this week. Again, I'll be back to serving swiftness next round.
fountain Posted May 31, 2017 Author Posted May 31, 2017 Time for results! The way this will be working is I will reveal everybody's ranking, 1 by 1. Scores will not be revealed until the end of the season. I will begin with #25 and end with #1. @funnellegs@Gastrodonatella@RihsusChrist(ATG)@Glassmouth@beatinglikeadrum@Buyonce1814@Hug@Nait Phoenix@Pecinta Mariah@UFO@Speezy@Tsareena@mxtthewdelrey@SaintWest@FCKNAmbrosia@Cupid@Corsola@ceremonials@Auburn@ONIKACRAZY@OreGuy@Lane Boy@Lucky#17@8thPrince@DripDrip
Galah Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 Simple flop hints this time, because results will begin shortly anyway. Batch 1 Average: 6.3 Batch 2 Average: 6.63 Score Distribution 10 - lol 9 - no 8 - 4 7 - 7 6 - 8 5 - 3 4 - 1 3 - 1 2 - 0 1 - Corsola
UFO Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 1 minute ago, Aurora said: I understood it wasn't actual poison, but a simile has to work both ways to be effective. You're likening the water dripping to poison, which suggests that poison dripping into a mouth is commonplace, which it is not. For example, "the ocean roars like a lion" suggests a lion roaring is common, which it is, but if I had said, "the ocean roars like an eagle", the simile doesn't make sense, because an eagle does not roar. Something as simple as, "then they dripped into my mouth like I’d been cleansed," seems to be a much better fit for me; it fits the acceptance of sexuality more (rather than poison, which has a negative connotation), it works with the simile (you're much more likely to let something cleansing enter your body) and it's even a better Your ideas are not the problem, they're probably some of the most inventive of the bunch. I just think the execution does need work at times because it's like, I get what you're going for, but there are times when the metaphor you're using doesn't actually make sense standalone, if we are to take it at face value. The best metaphors make sense when you skim them, as well as read deeper into them. The "rivers of movement" is a good example. It might have multiple metaphorical meanings, but in actuality you can't have a "river of movement"; at best it's redundant because a river is always flowing. I know - it's not an actual river - but I think that's your biggest hurdle. You have to make a metaphor that DOES make sense if it WAS an actual river, yet also have those secret, underlying meanings. I'm only saying these things because I'm pretty sure you're capable of doing it, but whether you want to do it, for artistic reasons or otherwise, is completely up to you. Last week your song was a perfect balance for me, and you were actually my (tied) #1 because of that. This week, it ventured a little too into the has good abstract meaning but the base meaning is disjointed/confusing. If you can perfect that balance, I'd stan every time. I'm actually SHOOK you read and responded to my essay with an urgency Fffffff I didn't think anyone would actually read it, mess anyway, I think I understand what you mean a lot better now! My ideas are good, it's just that I need to work a lot more on the execution. I think I'm scared to write cliches which is why I try to go to other extreme and use outlandish imagery that end up not making complete sense I definitely understand the poison and rivers of movement lines now! The ideas are there but they don't correspond to each other fully which makes the lyrics seem confused and all over the place. I think I focused too much on trying to paint an image in your heads and quickly forgot what I was initially writing about It's like when I write a song I have a good concept and a good base meaning. But then it quickly gets lost in the imagery. That's probably why my song last week was more effective because I focused more on emotion and my single and then made a story out of that, which allowed me to narrow down my train of thought. Anyway, I appreciate the feedback! now that I've identified my weaknesses, I can improve on them next week. Kind of like how I tried to make the chorus this week more of a "moment" compared to last week which was a lot more subdued. but YAS @ Two Strangers being your joint #1 ahhh screamingg @ me participating in like 5+ seasons tho and I'm still having issues with incoherent, disjointed imagery. a Wooden Branches tea feelslikeadream is probably somewhere hardcore cackling at me and my FEVEROUS inability to execute a song a CONCEPT !
Galah Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 Just now, Temporal said: Me seeing you're a Mod now omg when did this happen
fountain Posted May 31, 2017 Author Posted May 31, 2017 cant believe hug becoming a mod is overshadowing results like this i feel like applause to his roar
UFO Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 Aurora has hints, we're getting results and Hug is a mod????? Omg my brain can't take. Not after writing two essays at like 3am also, I'm kind of craving @Cantaloupe. right now. What kind of delicious username NNNNN heysis congrats on your mod position! Wait since when was ATRL looking for new mods? Ugh I wanted to apply, I would be a great moderator
Temporal Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 2 minutes ago, Aurora said: Score Distribution 10 - lol 9 - no 1 - Corsola Same though!
UFO Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 1 minute ago, keshaspearsxo said: cant believe hug becoming a mod is overshadowing results like this i feel like applause to his roar "I feel like applause to his roar" omg this simile is slaying me right now that fact that you personified Hug as a Katy Perry classic has me WEAK
Glassmouth Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 28 minutes ago, keshaspearsxo said: - Flying Your interpretation of flying was really good and your concept was quite strong, but the main issue I kind of have is that it’s hard to find any kind of meter going on here. Your lines are massive and don’t read with a rhythm, as a song should, but rather just as words. That’s the main thing distracting me. Lyrically you’re not too bad off, just get the meter in check! Thank you for this review, Pears I was trying to experiment with my meter but since it didn't work I will go back and use all this for the next challenge
Suga'fall Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 Can I join please??? I really would like to be in this game
UFO Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 Still screaming at cantaloupe. Let me buy some tomorrow, I don't remember the last time I ate out the good sis YOU CAME CRASHING HARD, CRASHING INTO ME ! Yaaaaaas
fountain Posted May 31, 2017 Author Posted May 31, 2017 cant believe corsola invented fire this week. should've been #1. literal cavewoman queen. iconic and legendary. the other judges are haters. i gave her a 10!
Bandito Posted May 31, 2017 Posted May 31, 2017 I thought for sure Corsola was going to get #1, ha entry was ???
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