discussion A co-worker that you don't really like flirts with you, what do you do?

[Colmillo]

1 minute ago, Matchatea said:

Question… do you work in a bakery that you can sleep in overnight by chance? 

I haven't seen that other thread, but no, I don't 

[CBC]

55 minutes ago, Colmillo said:

The thing is he hasn't said anything inappropriate yet, so I don't think I have any "proof" that can get him fired

 

bait him into it he'll eventually crack, men aint sht

[Mezik]

Is he hot? If so I lose all morals and self-respect and hop on it.

[BrattyBottom]

Submit a complaint to HR.

[Colmillo]

7 minutes ago, Mezik said:

Is he hot? If so I lose all morals and self-respect and hop on it.

You know how you can look at a guy and be like "he's not bad looking, but I'm not attracted to him"? Well that's the case, like I can understand why other people may find him attractive, but I just don't feel that way

 

 

Edited October 25 by Colmillo

[Mezik]

Just now, Colmillo said:

You know how you can look at a guy and be like "he's not bad looking, but I'm not attracted to him"? Well that's my case, like I can understand why other people may find him attractive, but I just don't feel that way

 

 

If you have no morals like me go for it!

 

If not play 'Stop' by the Spice Girls.

[Colmillo]

2 minutes ago, Mezik said:

If you have no morals like me go for it!

 

If not play 'Stop' by the Spice Girls.

I don't want to go for it, that's the point, believe me when I say that if I found him attractive I would probably be inside of him right now, but that's not the case

 

[Comedor]

2 hours ago, Colmillo said:

Sometimes I feel like the people that act like that don't see anything wrong with what they're doing, so I don't know if it would work at all, specially if he thinks I'm comfortable with the way he behaves 

 

 

The training is for you too.

[Colmillo]

1 minute ago, Comedor said:

The training is for you too.

 

 

[Worm]

3 hours ago, Colmillo said:

The thing is he hasn't said anything inappropriate yet, so I don't think I have any "proof" that can get him fired

 

If you're considering going to HR, it is important to remember that they are there to minimize risk and liability to the organisation, not to act as your personal advocate. What this means in practice is that they will take whatever action is necessary to comply with regulatory requirements and avoid legal repercussions, and not a single step more.

What does this look like in a situation like yours? You have to understand that the company's primary motivation will be to balance the risk of legal action from you if they fail to take appropriate action after your harassment is reported, versus the risk of legal action from the accused for wrongful discipline, dismissal or even defamation if they take any action against him without clear substantiating evidence. Unfortunately the easiest path by far for most companies is to discharge their legal obligations to you by thoroughly investigating and documenting the incident(s), without ever actually taking any disciplinary action against the accused that could lead to a messy lawsuit. They nip your claim in the bud by demonstrating that they followed appropriate procedures, without ever risking a claim from him from any wrongful disciplinary action.

Direct discipline is a rarity from HR investigations (speaking from personal experience) and you're far more likely to see policy reminders to employees, some additional HR training, and a promise to 'monitor the situation going forwards' than any outcome that actually helps you. My advice would be to only use HR as a last resort, and if it comes to that make sure you have enough substantiation and documentary evidence to support your claim that they are forced to take action in your favour, because anything less would leave them open to legal proceedings from you.

[Colmillo]

6 minutes ago, Worm said:

If you're considering going to HR, it is important to remember that they are there to minimize risk and liability to the organisation, not to act as your personal advocate. What this means in practice is that they will take whatever action is necessary to comply with regulatory requirements and avoid legal repercussions, and not a single step more.

What does this look like in a situation like yours? You have to understand that the company's primary motivation will be to balance the risk of legal action from you if they fail to take appropriate action after your harassment is reported, versus the risk of legal action from the accused for wrongful discipline, dismissal or even defamation if they take any action against him without clear substantiating evidence. Unfortunately the easiest path by far for most companies is to discharge their legal obligations to you by thoroughly investigating and documenting the incident(s), without ever actually taking any disciplinary action against the accused that could lead to a messy lawsuit. They nip your claim in the bud by demonstrating that they followed appropriate procedures, without ever risking a claim from him from any wrongful disciplinary action.

Direct discipline is a rarity from HR investigations (speaking from personal experience) and you're far more likely to see policy reminders to employees, some additional HR training, and a promise to 'monitor the situation going forwards' than any outcome that actually helps you. My advice would be to only use HR as a last resort, and if it comes to that make sure you have enough substantiation and documentary evidence to support your claim that they are forced to take action in your favour, because anything less would leave them open to legal proceedings from you.

Yeah that's one of the reasons why I don't want HR involved, so I will have to do something myself, I'm just thinking of what exactly I should do 

[SoSickOfThatSOL]

Talk to him! It's better to hurt his feelings a little and being explicit in what you want, and you could always be gentle. Use ChatGPT if needed.

 

Second option, tell him about how you like someone he knows