discussion Split bill on first date. Yes or no?

[Before Today]

Are you for it or against it?

 

I realized this was a non-issue where I live. It's almost always split regardless of gender, unless it's a fancy place/one party told beforehand they're gonna pay, it's almost never expected for one person to pay the bills.

 

I thought with the gender equality and all this wouldn't be an issue but apparently it is for some people, especially opposite sex couples. I'm neither str8 nor a woman but I'm curious to hear a woman's (or str8 guy if any of u exists here lol) about this.

[Cottonmouth]

I'm gay. But I think the guy should pay for the first time.

 

For me personally for same-sex dates, if it's a first date, usually I prefer to pay even if it works out or not. Purely because I only ever go on dates with people I'm seriously interested in. 

 

Also, I wouldn't feel as guilty if I didn't want to see them again. Consider it a peace offering for me ghosting after lol. 

 

If I really liked the guy and they wanted to pay for me though. I would let them, and I'd get the next one. 

 

Also I'm sure it's annoying for the waiter working out how to split the bill equally. It's easier for one person to pay. 

 

 

Edited April 17 by Cottonmouth

[Facelessboy]

1 minute ago, Cottonmouth said:

I don't mind it. But if it's a first date, usually I prefer to pay even if it works out or not. Purely because I only ever go on dates with people I'm seriously interested in. 

[Sheep]

split everything except gifts until there's a ring on somebody's finger I fear 

[PrettyHurts]

Splitting with someone you don't know is weird. By paying, you're extending a courtesy and showing that you're interested in the person and willing to sacrifice something for them. It's the polite thing to do and shows that you have the capability to care for someone other than yourself. 

[JoeAg]

eh. I don't like dinner dates, I prefer a movie and then cuddling back at one of our places tbh

 

or if one of us makes food! idk i feel like traditional going out to restaurant dates are something I'll appreciate more in my 30s-40s

 

for now, as a poor ass person, i find other types of dates more appealing

 

but I guess to answer the OP, yeah I'm down for a bill split if i have a date like that. idk it's hard to think about this one in theory cause that kind of date is so foreign to me, even when i date girls sometimes

Edited April 17 by JoeAg

[dussel_06]

I usually pay because I'm a people pleaser. I don't like it when they still insist to pay their part even though I already said that I will pay. I will think they're not interested in me and don't want to feel that they owe me a favor or something.
 

I need to feel needed that's why I pay everything and always do the extra, even to people who treats me like sh*t.

[Space Cowboy]

Split always. The "men should pay for the woman's bill" mindset is stupid.

[MaxMartin]

1 minute ago, Space Cowboy said:

Split always. The "men should pay for the woman's bill" mindset is stupid.

this

[Not Like The Movies]

it really depends

[Cain]

There really are no rules for this, I would say split the bill always, but sometimes the guy really wants to pay and then I let him (only if I'm interested in him tho, if not we split)

 

But also if someone clearly earns more than the other (ie a student and someone with a fulltime job being on a date) I think the person with more disposable income should pay as courtesy 

[Johnny Jacobs]

My boyfriend and my ex always paid for me. they never let me pay. i think its a personality thing.

 

I'm old fashioned that way. i think the guy (in straight relationship) should pay. its very telling of the person imo

[flower moon]

i cant believe people actually expect the guy to pay on first date what kinda old ass fashioned mess is going on with that

unless we're getting married its gunna be split

[TROPICUM]

the few dates I've gone to all were paid for by the other person... it's always so quick and I don't even have time to offer my coins lmao

 

but if a date ever asked me to split the bill I wouldn't be angry or anything, I would gladly accept 

 

 

Edited April 17 by TROPICUM

[abelfenty]

Whoever asked the other person out on the date should, or at least offer to pay the full thing

[Mordecai]

Split always. Only time I'd consider offering to pay is if I was the one who asked them out and I wanted to see them again

 

I always insist on paying my own way. I feel guilty when someone pays for me, even if it's one of my friends who buys me a $3 cookie 

[Onyxmage]

If I asked them on a date I will pay. Ive done it many times.

[Bubble Tea]

I mean you should honestly at least offer to pay on the first date, otherwise you just come across stingy and cheap. They being said if the date clearly isn't going well, it's not going to win you any additional favours. Do it if you actually feel like you have a connection, not if you're kidding yourself and want to try impress them.

[Dante Silva]

No. Chivalry is not dead. The top should always pay the first three dates 100% (if he wants to see ass at the end of the third). No exceptions!

[dumbsparce]

It's always awkward when this happens so I avoid going on dates that involve food. It's literally the first date, no need for reality to kick in already

[Kiel D-01]

Split always and no it's not weird.

[bad guy]

I don't think I've ever split a bill with someone on a first date because I'm usually the one that initiates the date. So if I'm asking you out, why would I expect you to pay? There have been times where they'll offer to pay but I'll just pay anyway because that's how I was raised and to me it's a respect thing. I also just think it's tacky. Luckily I haven't had any bad dates (in public at least) so I haven't ran into the issue of wanting to split.

 

In relationships splitting stuff is fine though. I did that with my ex(es) because at that point we were close enough where she could just pay for her portion if she wanted to and we'd get gifts for each other so it evens itself out.

Edited April 17 by bad guy

[Avenue]

No, the one who invited should pay.

[40000000000000]

i don't understand this discourse at all. it's the first time we are meeting up to get to know each other better, both parties can pay for themselves unless they cannot afford it.

 

if you expect me to pay or your expenses, i will think you're seeing this date as a courtesy to me and i should compensate for your time. this is not labor, if you do not have time to spare, do not plan a date. it shouldn't feel like labor.

 

on the flip side, if you expect me to let you pay for my meal, i will feel some sort of burden on me to pay you back or keep it going. and i don't appreciate feeling expectations on me from people i do not know.

[Danny789]

Splitting it to me shows more respect because it shows you aren't there just for a free meal.