discussion Sad but true: Do gay relationships have a shorter shelf life than straights?

[The7thStranger]

5 minutes ago, Nashe said:

those are situationships then

 

the term ''open relationship'' always fascinated me, like... f*cking other people while being emotionally attached to someone? that ain't no ''relationship'' at all. just sick

Oh grow up.

 

--

 

Anyway, something like 10% of all marriages end in divorce within one year, so I don't want to hear any homophobic nonsense questioning the validity or longevity of queer relationships with the facts the way they are.

[shyboi]

i don't like having a bf, i need my options also i get bored quickly 

 

that being said, i think str8 relationships are getting shorter too

[Nashe]

1 minute ago, The7thStranger said:

Oh grow up.

That was surely a very mature response.

[The7thStranger]

1 minute ago, Nashe said:

That was surely a very mature response.

Careful, don't get too close. You might catch it.

Edited April 2 by The7thStranger

[alfonso12]

11 minutes ago, Nashe said:

those are situationships then

 

the term ''open relationship'' always fascinated me, like... f*cking other people while being emotionally attached to someone? that ain't no ''relationship'' at all. just sick

LOL. You sound like those conservatives who think two men f*cking are unnatural and sick  the ignorance, woah. 

[Nashe]

Just now, The7thStranger said:

Careful, don't get too close. You might catch it.

needed an edit for a 2-sentence response? that adhd be kicking your behind luv

[The7thStranger]

5 minutes ago, Nashe said:

needed an edit for a 2-sentence response? that adhd be kicking your behind luv

[Nashe]

1 minute ago, alfonso12 said:

LOL. You sound like those conservatives who think two men f*cking are unnatural and sick  the ignorance, woah. 

that comparison!? Okay girl!  looks like I hit a nerve

 

yes, ''open relationships'' ain't no relationships at all imo. To me that's just a lifestyle only emotionally underdeveloped people live by.

But go ahead luv, you do you and what you think what's best.

[EdgeofTeeth]

20 minutes ago, LoveInStereo said:

I don't believe sexuality is a factor in the longevity of a relationship. I think unresolved trauma leading to insecure attachment styles is the biggest factor. Blaming it on being gay is kind of a cop out to avoid addressing the root cause

Came here to say this, basically. The common lack of ability in gay men to maintain a long-term relationship (and it IS common, pretending otherwise is honestly dense) isn't because of sexuality itself, but rather the social response that many gay people experience because of it.

 

A gay man who grows up repressed, invalidated, and without the normal and formative romantic experiences that most straight people get to have is going to experience long-term effects on his ability to know what a healthy and balanced relationship is and how to maintain it. It's basic psychology.

Edited April 2 by EdgeofTeeth

[fauxtography]

Not enough obvious responses that Straight Marriages more likely have a longer shelf life due to CHILDREN - which is most of the time not even planned.

 

When you look at dating habits of straights without children they are pretty similar to any other sexuality, especially in the last 10-15 years due to dating apps.

[Afterglow]

Nah, Ive been with my partner for 10 years this New Years, we'll end up getting married but the idea of marriage isn't that important to us.

 

 

[nostalgic]

3 hours ago, AbeHicks said:

Maybe in the 50's but not anymore.

This legend  I missed seeing your avi around here 

 

 

Edited April 2 by nostalgic

[Rotunda]

Honestly, I think straight couples are more likely to stay together out of necessity/compromise. A lot of straight men essentially want a live-in maid, and will stay in a relationship if it means they don't have to cook or clean. A lot of women may have banked on being stay-at-home wives/moms and don't have a way to return to the workforce. A lot of people really want to have a baby/family and fear that biological clock running out.

 

While I think some gay people also fall in these camps, I think gays are also more likely to think they can have it all and not feel a need to compromise in their relationships.

Edited April 5 by Ya Ya

[tetrachord]

I do respect long-term relationships but it's really not our responsibility to uphold traditional ideas of ideal relationships either. Our futures are less charted and traditional ideas don't apply to us as much. Marriages and children are celebrated milestones that often serve as existential reminders to gay people of things that are conditional by heterosexuals in power. (Outside of cheating perhaps) I honestly don't blame us for having messy or short-term relationships - we're just trying to navigate and exist in a world that more often than not tolerates us at a bare minimum.

Edited April 2 by tetrachord

[alfonso12]

1 hour ago, Nashe said:

that comparison!? Okay girl!  looks like I hit a nerve

 

yes, ''open relationships'' ain't no relationships at all imo. To me that's just a lifestyle only emotionally underdeveloped people live by.

But go ahead luv, you do you and what you think what's best.

It's a fair comparison cause it's the same kind of closed-minded thoughts created by religion, following the pattern that relationships should be a man and a woman that get married, have sex with no one but each other and then have children. 

 

You say those aren't "relationships" and I wonder what's a relationship to you? cause when I think of having a partner I think of having someone that's always gonna be there for me, someone I can talk to, someone to share my feelings, to hang out, to have fun and to build a future together; I don't know how him having a one night stand with someone would change any of those things if I know he loves me and I'm the one he's creating a life with. 

 

I hope when you grow up you can deconstruct yourself and have different thoughts than what society has made you believe in. 

[Kern]

Open relationships are bullshit and shouldn't be called relationships. Real relationships are monogamous but that something most gays can't comprehend because it's too tiring for them!

[Xtina23]

well most of my "relationships" last 2 hours so...

[Robert]

Yes but it is changing a lot.

[CottageHore]

11 hours ago, Anthinos said:

You shouldn't forget that things like gay marriage are still very new. Homosexual relationships were not tolerated for a long time. A lot has changed and I would say in 2024 it's not true. At least not for the 30+ group. Personally, I'm looking for a man I can stay with for the rest of my life. I would also have no problem staying single if that were to happen. But I'm not interested in hook-ups and changing partners. It's too stressful and emotionally unfulfilling for me.

Every single word mte 

[Nashe]

@alfonso12  I won't ever feel the need to deconstruct something that feels most natural to me, something that has not been indoctrinated by society or religion but actually founded in nature since the earliest times of intelligent and emotionally developed species. love is what keeps us alive & going and should be held sacred. if the rules to a relationship between two people are loose then the foundations were faulty and bound to collapse from the get-go. 

[Harrier]

Two of my best mates have been in a relationship for 9 years since they were 20. No cheating, and absolutely no risk of it happening because they're well adjusted individuals who love each other. Better than any of my straight friends 

 

So the answer is, no. Y'all just need to step out of the grindr vortex for a moment, maybe alter your standards to be more about connection the physical attractiveness. There are plenty of non messy gays out there

[The7thStranger]

The self-directed homophobia in this thread is a lot, even for ATRL.

26 minutes ago, Nashe said:

love is what keeps us alive & going and should be held sacred

What gives you the right to define how other people experience and define love? Why should I or anybody else have to conform to your standard in order to not be considered "sick,” as you so harshly put it? It quite literally has zero effect on your life.

Edited April 3 by The7thStranger

[Nashe]

24 minutes ago, The7thStranger said:

The self-directed homophobia in this thread is a lot, even for ATRL.

At this point you're just sinking deeper & deeper in your random unintelligible thoughts and should stop posting in this thread altogether, but you do you.

 

28 minutes ago, The7thStranger said:

What gives you the right to define how other people experience and define love? Why should I or anybody else have to conform to your standard in order to not be considered "sick,” as you so harshly put it? It quite literally has zero effect on your life.

I only gave a simple explanation to why your ''relationships'' don't last and then you get mad about it. Make it make sense luv

[igninton]

Yes. 

 

Straights want commitment and stability, gays don't. Also gays are hyper-focused on looks and sex. 

 

You can fight me all you want but it's the hard truth. 

[The7thStranger]

1 hour ago, Nashe said:

I only gave a simple explanation to why your ''relationships'' don't last and then you get mad about it. Make it make sense luv

I've been in a relationship for over ten years. Every post you make, you prove you don't have a clue what you're talking about.