discussion is hooking up with someone else during the talking stage cheating?

[chiliam]

 if it works out we will do open relationship anyway, so what`s the different?

Edited October 25, 2023 by chiliam

[Asscatchem]

1 minute ago, mrpartyrocker said:

If you’ve established you want to be exclusive while dating, then yea, it’s bad.

i personally dont want an open relationship and ive already expressed this to him  but is exclusivity enforced this early on?

[Kimi]

Some of you should stay out of monogamy for good, if ******* around is so desirable for you even during talking stage why do you even bother with it? Be poly and move like that.

[welham]

3 minutes ago, Asscatchem said:

i personally dont want an open relationship and ive already expressed this to him  but is exclusivity enforced this early on?

Technically, as some other members have mentioned, it’s not cheating. You haven’t established anything official between you two.

 

HOWEVER, human emotions are not rational most of the time. One can acknowledge that they don’t “have the right” to be mad/sad/disappointed/feel a certain way about something, but that usually doesn’t matter. At the end of the day, they might feel hurt and turned off. I know I would. Imagine for a minute that you've talked to him about it, and he said "no, we're not official yet. I even hooked up with someone/I'm talking to someone else at the same time." Do you think your heart would drop or not? That's a question for you to ponder on. 
 

I'd personally say to not risk it. You say he's got a great potential as a future monogamous partner, and well... you're getting a taste of what monogamy might be like. Technicalities can be useful sometimes to put some things in to context, but speaking from experience, it can ruin what could've been a wonderful future. 
 

I'd suggest you first talk with him about his views on exclusivity at this early stage and see how he feels about it. Also, if it's a matter of being horny and not exactly about lusting after the potential hookup specifically, then why not make a move and try having sex with him? (Potential partner, not hookup). There many things to consider, and I'd suggest getting some clarity on the most important ones before doing anything that can sabotage a future partnership. 

[simplywohoo]

No but personally I would be done with you if I ever found out 

[NumbSoul]

I mean, I think both things can be true at the same time.

It's not cheating, you're free to do whatever you want until you're official, BUT it could at the same time be hurtful to the other person, especially if you're actually being serious about taking things further with them.

[ariananext]

Are you talking to this person because you want a relationship or not? If your intentions are not serious then go ahead and do whatever you want with the other one, as long as you're gonna be honest about it. 

 

You should have no issues telling this person about your encounters if they don't expect you to be exclusive. 

 

If you care about this person you're giving them a red flag before even starting the exclusive relationship.

[Illuminati]

Tell him and see his reaction If you feel any guilt about it and can't own it then maybe you shouldn't be messing around

[glitch]

Talking stage to me is you've probably been on 2 or 3 dates. I'm normally talking to multiple people at once so yes I sometimes have sex during that time. That's how modern dating works 

[J Legend X]

no, but I've always been worried to pass an STI while "dating" other people to the potential relationship tbh

[Saintlor]

The type of person that would ask this question would end up being a cheater

 

So this guy is better off without you

[Donquizote]

How old are u?

You can hook up with anyone you want as long as u dont have exclusive partner.

[Breathe On Moi]

3 hours ago, Asscatchem said:

i dont even know if he's a top or a bottom

but tbh i dont really care, his face is super cute, were both athletic (he's in a team sport), and he's really bright and smart and convos are somewhat stimulating

you don’t know if he’s a top or a bottom? chile this ain’t going nowhere I’m sorry 

[Asscatchem]

3 minutes ago, Breathe On Moi said:

you don’t know if he’s a top or a bottom? chile this ain’t going nowhere I’m sorry 

the ambiguous ones are the hottest imo 

[Breathe On Moi]

3 minutes ago, Asscatchem said:

the ambiguous ones are the hottest imo 

you’re braver than I! I can’t imagine investing so much time into someone and then we both end up on the bed ass up wondering what’s going on 

[moxcy]

 

32 minutes ago, Saintlor said:

The type of person that would ask this question would end up being a cheater

 

So this guy is better off without you

tea. there are a lot of WHORES in this thread 

[differentkindahigh]

If it's the opposite gender than the person you're talking to, you're ok

[Dolce Vita]

well not really but if you think things will develop with the other person then why would you even want to hook up with someone if you have serious intentions with another person

 

 

Edited October 25, 2023 by Dolce Vita

[Asscatchem]

5 minutes ago, Dolce Vita said:

well not really but if you think things will develop with the other person then why would you even want to hook up with someone if you have serious intentions with another person

 

 

is it possible to be truly serious after 2 dates and you haven't even hooked up with them?

 

[MonsterTown]

no, bc nothing guarantee you that you will have an official relationship with the one talking...that could flop easily...so have fun until its official and serious.

[Donquizote]

42 minutes ago, Breathe On Moi said:

you’re braver than I! I can’t imagine investing so much time into someone and then we both end up on the bed ass up wondering what’s going on 

[Frozen99]

ofc not if you're not official and didn't talk about it. i mean, it might not even turn into anything and you waste an opportunity. also, who knows what happens with the other gay.

[truthteller]

if you're just all talk no action. that's on you.

[LoveInStereo]

There’s no way the ppl claiming this is cheating are currently in successful monogamous relationships. Talking “talking phase”, you’re working towards a serious connection so you don’t just jump into bed with the guy, you should build a solid platonic foundation that doesn’t depend on sex. If the talking phase is several months long, are you supposed to be celibate like a nun till you’re official? If your status is single, case closed. A 1 night stand before you settle down is a basic reality of life. Y’all waiting till marriage or something?

Edited October 25, 2023 by LoveInStereo

[shinyshimmery]

I operate under the golden rule "treat others how you want to be treated". Also, if I'm interested in someone, then I only want that person... hooking up is great, sure, but waiting for the person you want (and actually like) feels more rewarding. 

 

Also, if I were to be in this situation and the person were to tell me they hooked up with someone while we were in the "talking phase" I'd ghost him the next day. If you couldn't wait to get your rocks off, and needed to squeeze in one more night of pleasure with someone else, then you aren't the person for me... masturbation exists too. 

Edited October 25, 2023 by shinyshimmery