fountain Posted July 1, 2023 Author Posted July 1, 2023 15 minutes ago, Julianna Calm Down said: im curious which songs everyone sampled or wrote sequels to - can we post this? Yes feel free to! 1
fountain Posted July 1, 2023 Author Posted July 1, 2023 Actually I will just leak everybody’s myself 1
Julianna Calm Down Posted July 1, 2023 Posted July 1, 2023 Just now, fountain said: Actually I will just leak everybody’s myself I will sue you like Ed Sheeran 1
fountain Posted July 1, 2023 Author Posted July 1, 2023 Samples and Sequels used: Better Mistakes - The Luck of the Draw - samples All of the Girls You Loved Before by Taylor Swift OreGuy - Call Me, Robyn - sequel to Call Your Girlfriend by Robyn StormPulse - The Colossus - sample and sequel of the poem The New Colossus by Emma Lazarus worldwide angel - echo - samples Recto Verso by Paradis Kylie Jenner - Cameo - sequel to their own song Lost in the Rays from Round 1 Hug (as SIDE-HUG) - DON’T-SAY-IT/DON’T-THINK-IT - samples dialogue from the movie The Bye Bye Man, sequel to their own song DON’T-ASK-ME Julianna Calm Down - Glitter (The City) - sequel to Fast Car by Tracy Chapman XO_Life - The child is grown, the dream is gone - samples Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd xboyselenatorx - What Do I Do? - samples Perfect by Selena Gomez PoKiTaurus - Ifrit & The Phoenix - samples You Get Me by Michelle Branch 2 1
Jackson Posted July 1, 2023 Posted July 1, 2023 Thanks again to everyone that participated in Round 2! While the judges continue to write reviews, we’re excited to bring you Round 3! Round 3: Judge’s Choice It’s back yet again! The first third time challenge of Golden Hit, this week, you’ll have three different options of challenges to participate in. You may choose to incorporate as many of these challenges into your song as you wish, but you are only required to choose one. Each of these challenges was carefully crafted by @Jackson, @Legend E, and @JoeAg to challenge or inspire you as writers, but how you choose to implement these prompts is ultimately up to you. So which will you choose? Quote Jackson’s Split Song Challenge For my challenge, I wanted to encourage you to work outside the typical song structure to create a song with two distinct parts. Examples of this include Billie Eilish’s Happier Than Ever, 911/Mr. Lonely by Tyler, the Creator, and Yoncé/Partition by Beyoncé. You can also reference this example I wrote for Song of the Season S4. The two halves of your song can address different themes, moods, or song structures, but there should be a common thread linking them together (i.e., they shouldn’t be too completely unrelated songs). There are no length requirements for this challenge, so feel free to write two shorter halves, a traditional song with an intro/outro, or two complete songs that fade into each other. Whether you choose to write your song from multiple perspectives, have a twist or change of mood, or just want to write a song with multiple parts, this challenge encourages creativity and has few limits otherwise. If you really want, you could even include 3 distinct parts! Quote Legend E's chemistry Challenge My challenge is inspired by the album of the decade, chemistry. If you choose my challenge, I would like to encourage you to create a song inspired by a chemical substance, element, or compound. Think of chemicals used in certain industries and try to reflect on how these can be used in similes or any sort of figure of speech. While I do encourage you to think outside the box, remember that, for instance, different foods, medicine, and biological compounds in our bodies are chemicals. You can even use water! If it applies, you can use the commercial name of a certain chemical, rather than the IUPAC nomenclature. I would like you to find a way to reference your chemical of choice in your lyrics and try to play with emotions the chemical could give you. How did a chemical make you feel? Is there a chemical that reminds you of a certain point in your life? Examples I can think about from popular culture are: "Oxytocin" by Billie Eilish, "The Path" by Lorde, "American Oxygen" by Rihanna, etc. A few lyrics I can come up with on the go are: "I painted my heart with titanium dioxide, I am ready for a new start" or "My heart is deteriorating, you sprayed it with spinosad". Quote JoeAG’s Near Death Experience Challenge Write a song about a near death experience (it can be one you’ve had or one you’ll make up) and utilize a new vocab word in every verse. This does not have to have a chorus, but it has to flow well. Pretty much, write a song like I would write a song! See: my songs Lucid Palimpsest, Vlontresska, Perigee, and 883 for examples of my songwriting. Be bold, be all over the place, don’t be shy. Be intense and capture my attention Entries are due via Google Form submission by July 6th, midnight eastern time. @PoKiTaurus @GentleDance @8thPrince @Hug@Gavin. @worldwide angel @OreGuy@Invisibility@vinster13@XO_Life @xBoySelenatorx@FireMotif16@Tropical@Julianna Calm Down @Better Mistakes@Courtney Love @Prisoner@Kylie Jenner If you have any questions, feel free to tag any of our judges (@Jackson, @JoeAgand @Legend E), particularly if it relates to their choice of challenge, and if you want any specific feedback on anything you have written or are in need of some more in depth advice, then feel free to message this season’s mentor ( @fountain). As a reminder, sign-ups are open all season long and anybody is free to join – just submit your song to sign up! 🌸 2
fountain Posted July 1, 2023 Author Posted July 1, 2023 Historically my favourite challenge, I love seeing the unique challenges that each judge presents Definitely excited with these picks, all really creative 1
Galah Posted July 1, 2023 Posted July 1, 2023 Oop, I was hoping for the Girl Groups challenge to make a comeback. The chemistry challenge (PH12 finale teas) would probably be my pick as I haven't intentionally set out to do that before, and already have songs on Aurenaissance that fit both of Jackson's and Joe's briefs.
poki Posted July 1, 2023 Posted July 1, 2023 Almost got ran over yesterday while I was out on a run, lemme write about that. 2
poki Posted July 2, 2023 Posted July 2, 2023 At least let me die with dignity Not due to someone's stupidity Let's go 1
Jackson Posted July 2, 2023 Posted July 2, 2023 16 minutes ago, PoKiTaurus said: Almost got ran over yesterday while I was out on a run, lemme write about that. almost a daily occurrence for me omg what a great idea 1
fountain Posted July 2, 2023 Author Posted July 2, 2023 8 minutes ago, PoKiTaurus said: At least let me die with dignity Not due to someone's stupidity Let's go Wait this kinda punches drag those reckless drivers 1
Jackson Posted July 2, 2023 Posted July 2, 2023 20 minutes ago, Aurora said: Oop, I was hoping for the Girl Groups challenge to make a comeback. The chemistry challenge (PH12 finale teas) would probably be my pick as I haven't intentionally set out to do that before, and already have songs on Aurenaissance that fit both of Jackson's and Joe's briefs. pls, how do you have a song written for Joe’s challenge if you’re not yourself Joe
fountain Posted July 2, 2023 Author Posted July 2, 2023 Just now, Jackson said: almost a daily occurrence for me omg what a great idea It’s giving Bike Lane teas and I stan tbh I re read that anthem because, originally when I was hoping to write a song for last rounds challenge, I was going to sample a line from each one of your season 1 songs and they were so good to relive tbh whew, the hits
Galah Posted July 2, 2023 Posted July 2, 2023 25 minutes ago, Jackson said: pls, how do you have a song written for Joe’s challenge if you’re not yourself Joe "“Satan, Not Today!”", the lead single from Aurenaissance, was in fact written about a near death experience!
ATRL Moderator Legend E Posted July 2, 2023 ATRL Moderator Posted July 2, 2023 Just now, Aurora said: "”Satan, Not Today!”", the lead single from Aurenaissance, was in fact written about a near death experience! Satan WHAT? 1
ATRL Moderator Legend E Posted July 2, 2023 ATRL Moderator Posted July 2, 2023 Again, as I did this quite late, please let me know if you want something removed or if there is any comment that is not suitable, either to the idea of your song or if it feels not very nice. I am also sorry if I made any other mistakes, it's late and I am tired x. Anyways, you all did a great job and I look forward to round 3! @Better Mistakes – The Luck of the Draw dfvdfv; the Kim Petras comment I think this is a great song. I especially liked the play on “Sometimes it’s the luck of the draw/So when can I draw?” as a play on that’s what happened and you can do nothing about it versus the moment when you want to have a say in your very own love story. The only thing that I wish this song had was a bit more original moments. While I do see it as a great pop song, I wish you had played more with images, metaphors or similes. However, I do think it fits also the vibe of the song you sampled and there are definitely great lyrical highlights here. Overall, a good job. @OreGuy – Call Me, Robyn I think this is a very nice idea of a sequel – the response of the girlfriend who had to go through losing both her lover and her best friend. I prefer the first verse to the second one for sure. I feel this first verse captures a bit the vibe of the original song as well, whereas I feel the second one takes a more “direct” attitude towards Robyn, which I feel Robyn didn’t have per se in the original. I still did enjoy the play on the “different kiss” though. The pre-chorus with the lyric “You can’t tell me how to mend my heart” is one of the best moments of the song. Likewise, I like the meltdown in the bridge. As with the previous song, I wish you deterred a bit away from the classic pop song tropes, but I like it overall. Be careful with “live” vs “leave” in the post-chorus part. StormPulse – The Colossus I definitely like this way more than your previous entry, an absolute great political commentary about the current state of the freedom in the United States. Firstly, I think this is more of a great commentary on the original poem as well, and a well-deserved rewriting of the clown idea mentioned there. I will just highlight a few of my favourite parts: “All that […] has gone from their heads to their chests” showing how people would be very reactionary nowadays, without thinking before acting (referring here of course to the people that are violent against different minority groups). Then, the series of questions “Mother of Exiles? Mother of rights?” was also such a natural meltdown. Then I think the ending has your best lyrics “A country sickened by pursuit of that ore/I lift my lamp and light the way before!”. I love how the end of the song remains positive in spite of the complaints with regards to the rich men and what they did to the US. An absolute masterpiece! @worldwide angel – Echo The way I listened to that entire Paradis album last week (didn’t like it that much x) Anyway, was this meant to be a sort of sequel rather than a sample? I mean I can see the song being played over the melody but I believe none of the lyrics are sampled? I do like the lyrics and the sort of stream of consciousness feeling they have, but I feel some parts remain confusing. While I do understand they were meant to be that way, I wish you provided some clarity. Besides the “descended from the…”, I also don’t understand what you want to “let echo”. Your love for each other? Otherwise, I do think a lot of lyrics have potential, such as “plenty dazzling versions of you and merge into one”, and “trip into infinity, let the light in, just let it show”, but a lot of the ideas feel a bit thrown there and not finished? However, it is not all bad and I do think the song has great qualities to it. @XO_Life – The Child Is Grown, The Dream Is Gone First of all, I love the topic of the song so much, it’s definitely a universal theme that we all feel, and this aspect of growing up and leaving dreams behind is so depressing. I love the idea of the endless driving and the need to take a break from driving the endless road. Then I love the second verse where the narrator realizes they’re getting older. The chorus is almost anthemic in the best sense possible, while still capturing that sadness of the song. I love the twist at the end where the narrator perhaps still keeps their childlike or juvenile attitude on different aspects of their life. My only small complaint is that I wish the sampling was a bit more obvious. I believe only one lyric is sampled. I would have perhaps considered it more of a sequel than a sample. However, it is definitely one of my favourite entries of the round. Great job! @Kylie Jenner – Cameo This definitely contains that same charm of your previous entry and fits very well as a sequel. First of all, I love the idea of a person making a cameo in your life, a relationship of a short time that has an everlasting impact. There are some great lyrical highlights here: “How do we dance to sirens?” “We burned too bright”. I feel there is a bittersweet feeling to this song that you have captured so well with your lyrics. It’s very “Lost in Translation”-esque for me. I personally like this entry just as much as your previous one. Good job! @Hug (not really) – DON’T-SAY-IT/DON’T-THINK-IT What did you just make me watch? :deadbanana3: As always, your lyricism shins through in this entry. I believe my favourite part is the first verse. I love the “Perfection is ephemeral like a setting sun” lyric. I also think the “I achieved a dream of ours […] A celebration without you has lost all its meaning” lyric couplet is so destroying, in the most beautiful way. As a continuation of a song, I think it works very well and I think the use of the sample is so stunning and yet, so sad. One small comment would be is that I wish the refrain and the chorus, as effective as they are, were a bit more developed, just like the verses. I understand that the ‘don’t say it, don’t think it’ part works as a sort of chant, but I think you could have built a bit more around it. I do think that overall this is another great entry, as always. @Julianna Calm Down – Glitter (The City) I feel you have a lot of potential in this competition and I always look forward to reading your entries. This time you did a great continuation of Fast Car, sticking to the idea of the original song about going to another city and life not changing necessarily for the better. I think in the first verse, the line about “painting” the partner in “the city lights” could have been excluded, it does not add to the content of the verse. After that, I think you do a pretty good job on your storytelling. I love the “I felt hopeful as we crossed that border/Believed that we would do better together” couplet from the chorus and also the concept of taking the taxi only to escape. The song continues with still being stuck to that person in the narrator’s mind in spite of them not being there when “the kids got older”, which I think just shows your storytelling skills very well. I do think that sometimes you resort to a few more basic lyrics, such as “all that glitters isn’t gold”, but overall you keep on doing a great job and I look forward to more of your entries. @xBoySelenatorx – What Do I Do? I think that what I like the most about this entry is that I feel you are talking about different parts of that relationship in both the two verses and two pre-choruses. First, you touch upon the nicer times of the relationship. Afterwards, you hint towards cheating and then self-doubt in the second verse. The second pre-chorus ends with you talk about the lies he told the narrator in the relationship. I do think the chorus needed a bit more work. I especially am not very fond of the “What do I do with my days?/What do I do with my nights?” couplet which feels a bit lazy to me. While I do see it as a pop song and it is written in a similar style to what Selena does usually, I feel it could have benefited from some storytelling or imagery, but it is a cute entry and I look forward to seeing more from you! @PoKiTaurus – Ifrit & The Phoenix A Michelle Branch sample = a 0 from me this round xoxox jk While I do like the entry, I feel it could have used from being more focused. If I get it well enough, the main idea is of the narrator feeling mistreated by their parents/caregivers and wanting not to be that for their future children. As you also mentioned, it is also about being more confident in yourself. While a lot of the stanzas show this clearly, I feel the message is a bit lost sometimes. For instance, the “I look to you for advice […]” part coming after being hurt by the family felt a bit weird for me. Is this about the “star”? Probably my favourite part comes afterwards about how the narrator feels as they are given the care they wish in the forest, where the trees have the role of the parents. Then I got a bit lost again, because I did not understand whose mark you want “tattooed on the shoulder”. I think this would have been a really strong entry, had it been a bit more focused. But I hope this review does not read all negative because I understand how personal this is for you, and perhaps that’s what its charm also is sometimes, with it being so vague at certain parts. I will definitely choose to appreciate the strong points in my review, as I think there are plenty of them. 2 1
poki Posted July 2, 2023 Posted July 2, 2023 I like how so far all the reviews love the nature part. My original version was heavier on that. It also sampled the "You've seen my secret garden / where all my flowers grow" lyrics A Michelle Branch sample = a 0 from me this round xoxox Is it because of the husband drama. 1
poki Posted July 2, 2023 Posted July 2, 2023 I can proudly say tho that 2018 me could only dream of writing like this. 1
ATRL Moderator Legend E Posted July 2, 2023 ATRL Moderator Posted July 2, 2023 1 minute ago, PoKiTaurus said: I like how so far all the reviews love the nature part. My original version was heavier on that. It also sampled the "You've seen my secret garden / where all my flowers grow" lyrics A Michelle Branch sample = a 0 from me this round xoxox Is it because of the husband drama. it's because of the lack of good songs and general floppage. i actually liked her latest album the most in her entire discography
poki Posted July 2, 2023 Posted July 2, 2023 1 minute ago, Legend E said: it's because of the lack of good songs and general floppage. i actually liked her latest album the most in her entire discography Oh wow Yeah a lot of people tell me my playlists sound like middle school music so I get it 1
worldwide angel Posted July 2, 2023 Posted July 2, 2023 1 hour ago, Legend E said: Again, as I did this quite late, please let me know if you want something removed or if there is any comment that is not suitable, either to the idea of your song or if it feels not very nice. I am also sorry if I made any other mistakes, it's late and I am tired x. Anyways, you all did a great job and I look forward to round 3! Hide contents @Better Mistakes – The Luck of the Draw dfvdfv; the Kim Petras comment I think this is a great song. I especially liked the play on “Sometimes it’s the luck of the draw/So when can I draw?” as a play on that’s what happened and you can do nothing about it versus the moment when you want to have a say in your very own love story. The only thing that I wish this song had was a bit more original moments. While I do see it as a great pop song, I wish you had played more with images, metaphors or similes. However, I do think it fits also the vibe of the song you sampled and there are definitely great lyrical highlights here. Overall, a good job. @OreGuy – Call Me, Robyn I think this is a very nice idea of a sequel – the response of the girlfriend who had to go through losing both her lover and her best friend. I prefer the first verse to the second one for sure. I feel this first verse captures a bit the vibe of the original song as well, whereas I feel the second one takes a more “direct” attitude towards Robyn, which I feel Robyn didn’t have per se in the original. I still did enjoy the play on the “different kiss” though. The pre-chorus with the lyric “You can’t tell me how to mend my heart” is one of the best moments of the song. Likewise, I like the meltdown in the bridge. As with the previous song, I wish you deterred a bit away from the classic pop song tropes, but I like it overall. Be careful with “live” vs “leave” in the post-chorus part. StormPulse – The Colossus I definitely like this way more than your previous entry, an absolute great political commentary about the current state of the freedom in the United States. Firstly, I think this is more of a great commentary on the original poem as well, and a well-deserved rewriting of the clown idea mentioned there. I will just highlight a few of my favourite parts: “All that […] has gone from their heads to their chests” showing how people would be very reactionary nowadays, without thinking before acting (referring here of course to the people that are violent against different minority groups). Then, the series of questions “Mother of Exiles? Mother of rights?” was also such a natural meltdown. Then I think the ending has your best lyrics “A country sickened by pursuit of that ore/I lift my lamp and light the way before!”. I love how the end of the song remains positive in spite of the complaints with regards to the rich men and what they did to the US. An absolute masterpiece! @worldwide angel – Echo The way I listened to that entire Paradis album last week (didn’t like it that much x) Anyway, was this meant to be a sort of sequel rather than a sample? I mean I can see the song being played over the melody but I believe none of the lyrics are sampled? I do like the lyrics and the sort of stream of consciousness feeling they have, but I feel some parts remain confusing. While I do understand they were meant to be that way, I wish you provided some clarity. Besides the “descended from the…”, I also don’t understand what you want to “let echo”. Your love for each other? Otherwise, I do think a lot of lyrics have potential, such as “plenty dazzling versions of you and merge into one”, and “trip into infinity, let the light in, just let it show”, but a lot of the ideas feel a bit thrown there and not finished? However, it is not all bad and I do think the song has great qualities to it. @XO_Life – The Child Is Grown, The Dream Is Gone First of all, I love the topic of the song so much, it’s definitely a universal theme that we all feel, and this aspect of growing up and leaving dreams behind is so depressing. I love the idea of the endless driving and the need to take a break from driving the endless road. Then I love the second verse where the narrator realizes they’re getting older. The chorus is almost anthemic in the best sense possible, while still capturing that sadness of the song. I love the twist at the end where the narrator perhaps still keeps their childlike or juvenile attitude on different aspects of their life. My only small complaint is that I wish the sampling was a bit more obvious. I believe only one lyric is sampled. I would have perhaps considered it more of a sequel than a sample. However, it is definitely one of my favourite entries of the round. Great job! @Kylie Jenner – Cameo This definitely contains that same charm of your previous entry and fits very well as a sequel. First of all, I love the idea of a person making a cameo in your life, a relationship of a short time that has an everlasting impact. There are some great lyrical highlights here: “How do we dance to sirens?” “We burned too bright”. I feel there is a bittersweet feeling to this song that you have captured so well with your lyrics. It’s very “Lost in Translation”-esque for me. I personally like this entry just as much as your previous one. Good job! @Hug (not really) – DON’T-SAY-IT/DON’T-THINK-IT What did you just make me watch? :deadbanana3: As always, your lyricism shins through in this entry. I believe my favourite part is the first verse. I love the “Perfection is ephemeral like a setting sun” lyric. I also think the “I achieved a dream of ours […] A celebration without you has lost all its meaning” lyric couplet is so destroying, in the most beautiful way. As a continuation of a song, I think it works very well and I think the use of the sample is so stunning and yet, so sad. One small comment would be is that I wish the refrain and the chorus, as effective as they are, were a bit more developed, just like the verses. I understand that the ‘don’t say it, don’t think it’ part works as a sort of chant, but I think you could have built a bit more around it. I do think that overall this is another great entry, as always. @Julianna Calm Down – Glitter (The City) I feel you have a lot of potential in this competition and I always look forward to reading your entries. This time you did a great continuation of Fast Car, sticking to the idea of the original song about going to another city and life not changing necessarily for the better. I think in the first verse, the line about “painting” the partner in “the city lights” could have been excluded, it does not add to the content of the verse. After that, I think you do a pretty good job on your storytelling. I love the “I felt hopeful as we crossed that border/Believed that we would do better together” couplet from the chorus and also the concept of taking the taxi only to escape. The song continues with still being stuck to that person in the narrator’s mind in spite of them not being there when “the kids got older”, which I think just shows your storytelling skills very well. I do think that sometimes you resort to a few more basic lyrics, such as “all that glitters isn’t gold”, but overall you keep on doing a great job and I look forward to more of your entries. @xBoySelenatorx – What Do I Do? I think that what I like the most about this entry is that I feel you are talking about different parts of that relationship in both the two verses and two pre-choruses. First, you touch upon the nicer times of the relationship. Afterwards, you hint towards cheating and then self-doubt in the second verse. The second pre-chorus ends with you talk about the lies he told the narrator in the relationship. I do think the chorus needed a bit more work. I especially am not very fond of the “What do I do with my days?/What do I do with my nights?” couplet which feels a bit lazy to me. While I do see it as a pop song and it is written in a similar style to what Selena does usually, I feel it could have benefited from some storytelling or imagery, but it is a cute entry and I look forward to seeing more from you! @PoKiTaurus – Ifrit & The Phoenix A Michelle Branch sample = a 0 from me this round xoxox jk While I do like the entry, I feel it could have used from being more focused. If I get it well enough, the main idea is of the narrator feeling mistreated by their parents/caregivers and wanting not to be that for their future children. As you also mentioned, it is also about being more confident in yourself. While a lot of the stanzas show this clearly, I feel the message is a bit lost sometimes. For instance, the “I look to you for advice […]” part coming after being hurt by the family felt a bit weird for me. Is this about the “star”? Probably my favourite part comes afterwards about how the narrator feels as they are given the care they wish in the forest, where the trees have the role of the parents. Then I got a bit lost again, because I did not understand whose mark you want “tattooed on the shoulder”. I think this would have been a really strong entry, had it been a bit more focused. But I hope this review does not read all negative because I understand how personal this is for you, and perhaps that’s what its charm also is sometimes, with it being so vague at certain parts. I will definitely choose to appreciate the strong points in my review, as I think there are plenty of them. thank you! this criticism really opened my eyes to my growth areas
Recommended Posts