Advice needed. Boyfriend is acting suspicious and I need advice on what to do.

[Badgalbriel]

Yesterday we were both at the gym and I saw him quickly checking who visualized his Instagram story through the gym mirror. This is weird, cause I checked both his personal and business profiles after that and none of them had posted a story for the past 24 hours.

I tried to brush this off, maybe he was checking an old story from a few days ago. But then I checked and it's not possible to see the list of people that visualized stories older than 24 hours.

So I couldn't get the thought out of my head that maybe he blocked me from seeing his stories or removed me from his close friends. Both scenarios are kind of weird, right?

So I went and checked his profile. The last time I accessed his profile page, we had 10 mutual friends. Yesterday we had 11. There was a guy there, someone I hooked up with years ago and he happens to work at a nearby building. My boyfriend works in building A, this guy works in building B. They are side by side. You don't even have to cross the street to get from one building to another. Maybe it's just a coincidence? Or maybe a certain app for seeing people around you was used?

I then checked the guy's Instagram profile from my business Instagram account. He had a recent Story from a couple of hours ago. But when I checked his profile from my own personal profile, he had no stories recently at all. Meaning he blocked me recently too.

Another thing is that I can't see my boyfriend's online status on Instagram since last week. I asked my friend and she can see him online there. So I kind of think that this is all related.

Is this all a coincidence, am I going crazy? Should I confront him? Should I investigate even further before confronting him? Should I just block this from my head and pretend I'm not suspicious? Am I just stupid?

[Danger]

You are not going crazy. Do you know the pw to his phone? Does that old hookup know y'all are together?

[Rotunda]

Chile you’re probably being cheated on

[Badgalbriel]

@Danger

I do know the pw to his phone but I'm not sure if I should ever go through his stuff because of a suspicion. 

What I do know is that he clearly blocked me from seeing his stories and he definitely blocked me from seeing his online status. Another friend confirmed he can see his online status. 

[Badgalbriel]

@StormFury 4 years now. That's the complicated part. I can't understand why he would block an Instagram story. He clearly wouldn't post a picture of another guy there. He's not dumb. I feel like he's chasing attention from guys and do not want me to know that. Which is of course as bad as it can get. 

 

[JohnWayneHolland]

 

I'm sorry but my toxic ass can't help but feel like this isn't a coincidence, I mean why would he block you from his stories and online status if he wasn't hiding something to you? This is very fishy

[Haus]

I would simply ask him why he did all that. Act like you already know, because you do. 

[Bicassie]

He is clearly playing you sis

ask about it

[makeme]

Well we know for sure that

1) He blocked you from his story

2) He blocked you from his online status

3) Your old hookup also blocked you from his story

 

Just be up front and ask him better to find out now then later on

[Sheep]

Talk to him about it and don't let yourself be gaslit. There's a reason you were blocked from all that it may or may not be related to the hookup blocking you but there's definitely a reason.

[Allopatry]

i would of already went through his phone at this point if i knew his pw tbh. i can't even lie lol. 

 

i've been in your position, i gathered all the evidence i needed and clocked it.

 

[collin]

If you do confront him, don’t let him gaslight you. Stay grounded and have receipts and don’t let him pretend that you’re acting crazy.

[CottageHore]

Crazy? Absolutely not. Everything you stated is fishy and it seems like sound evidence. He obviously turned off his activity for you specifically and blocked you from stories.
 

My suggestion- talk to him about it. Collect your emotions and approach it softly and watch his reaction VERY closely. Is he defensive? Comforting to you? Reassuring? That says everything. But people can also be good at faking it when confronted. Make it very clear to him that you have expectations of what happens in this relationship and if they’re violated, you won’t tolerate it. Be succinct.

[Ice Cream Skies]

Easy. Make a finsta account, if his account is public, view his stories to see if there are some your profile doesn't have access to.

 

You can also step it up a notch by catfishing as a hot gay and tempting him and see what he does. Sending love.

[Ice Cream Skies]

Easy. Make a finsta account, if his account is public, view his stories to see if there are some your profile doesn't have access to.

 

You can also step it up a notch by catfishing as a hot gay and tempting him and see what he does. Sending love.

[Badgalbriel]

And by the way, he also started arriving 30 minutes later every day from work for a week now. He says work is getting too busy with the xmas season coming. I didn't think it was weird until now that I think about it and I did stop seeing his online status for a week now too. 

My god. I should get tested tomorrow. 

[FOCK]

You clearly don’t trust him & he clearly is hiding things from you or seeking validation elsewhere, so, break it off if that’s your redline.
 

You can discuss it with him, though he’s just going to be more discreet about it the next time it undoubtably happens & you’ll be constantly riddled with suspicion now that your trust is betrayed, and when confronted, he’ll likely hold resentment & twist it to suggest you’re somehow at fault for finding him suspicious. 
 

Once that seed of distrust is planted between people, that fucker will grow like a weed. 

[Badgalbriel]

@collin yeah. I do want to ask him about it but I don't know how to get more evidence than just the suspicions I have. I don't want to go through his phone. I will try to keep an eye whenever he uses his phone near me. 

[Ice Cream Skies]

You're just going to torture yourself if you don't ask him about it or go through his phone.

 

Life's too short if you're being cheated on, and you're going to feel like **** if he's not. Get the information you want.

[Badgalbriel]

@FOCK I do trust him and that's we have been together for almost 5 years. Trusting someone doesn't mean I should not find it suspicious that the person I love suddenly blocked me from Instagram. You can trust someone with all your heart, once a patter is broken, you will get suspicious. That doesn't mean you didn't trust him/her previously. 

If this turns out to be just paranoia, there's no reason to not trust him back. That's why it's important to understand the situation before confronting him about anything. 

[Pierrot]

One thing I learned the hard way is if you smell a rat there's a ******* rat. Trust your gut.

 

Also be aware some people are amazing liars, even if confronted, so maybe don't give away every single thing you know. Confront him on one issue and see if he admits the rest or just admits the bare minimum.

 

Good luck and sorry this is happening. And remember cheating and/or lying should be deal breakers if that does end up being the case

[Danger]

@BadgalbrielDon't wait. Either go through his phone or confront him. or casually ask about the dude that works in the nearby building 

[wehavetostan]

All these signs seems very suspicious. Even if he’s not out right cheating, he’s definitely hiding something from you. I’m really sorry

[Allopatry]

i will say this, if you confront him and he lies his way out of it, he's only going to get better at lying and covering up his tracks.

 

if you are going to come in, make sure you have your evidence gathered clean and sharp.

 

like i said, i would actually go through his phone and see if he has been either talking to other people, or even worse actually sleeping with someone else. it would suck for you to approach it, it get buried, but he continues on doing shady stuff just slicker.

Edited December 14, 2022 by Allopatry

[bync]

Ask him about it. Be nice but don't let yourself be gaslit.