The Countess Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 all I can say is High Infidelity will probably be unlistenable to you for a good few months Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jqnetto Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lose My Breath Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 If he only adds people he knows, what do you know about his relationship with this person you used to see? How do they know each other? Also, be careful confronting him, if you show your hand, you have nothing. When I had this issue, I gathered evidence until I knew that there was no denying what was happening, because I KNEW that I would be gaslit, and I knew that if I presented solid information, I would get answers. It sounds terrible, but 5 years is a lot of time to invest, I would most definitely investigate much more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Materialboy215 Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 Always follow your instincts sis. If you’re feeling a way it’s not for nothing, this is why God gave us instinct and intuition. U and your BF needs to have a conversation asap and hold him accountable and don’t let him gaslight you and say you’re crazy etc. Hope it all works out for the best! Me and my ex of 7 years never followed each other on social media for reasons just like this lol. S/N I would have been went through that phone last week ???♂️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badgalbriel Posted December 14, 2022 Author Share Posted December 14, 2022 @Lose My Breath i have absolutely no idea how they met. They literally didn't follow each other until a few months ago when I last checked his profile. All I know is that this guy works nearby him, cause I remember I used to meet him at his place when we dated for a couple of weeks in 2017. What are the odds that he just followed him by accident? Something must have happened right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badgalbriel Posted December 14, 2022 Author Share Posted December 14, 2022 The main issue for me is that I feel like this is as much as I could get of information from what I have access to. I don't want to jump to more drastic measures such as going through his phone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lose My Breath Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 Maybe they both have dating profiles on an app or something, and being in close proximity, easily found each other? IDK. Does your boyfriend know you know him? Have you guys ever discussed him before? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miracle Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 I can't believe how toxic the responses here have been. Don't go through anyone's phone. It's pathetic and even if he's cheating, he will blame it on you being controlling and making the relationship weird. Just ask him straight up. If you don't have the guts to ask a question to your bf, it's better that you both break up even if he's not cheating Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miracle Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 I can't believe how toxic the responses here have been. Don't go through anyone's phone. It's pathetic and even if he's cheating, he will blame it on you being controlling and making the relationship weird. Just ask him straight up. If you don't have the guts to ask a question to your bf, it's better that you both break up even if he's not cheating Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Torres Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 He's clearly cheating, it's obvious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BnPac Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 So I don't have Instagram or those socials so most of the details about story and blocking don't make sense to me and I don't really know what they entail. What I will expand on are your feelings and insecurity. I don't think you should play games (I saw someone mentioning creating fake profiles etc) or get into someone's fault without their permission. My advice would be to have an open discussion with him about what you feel, tell him that you feel insecure about what you saw, that trust is paramount for you and you would like to check if you two are still on the same page. Tell him that you feel that the 5-year relationship that you have is worth fighting for moving forward but that's only a truth if there's trust. Don't confront, don't accuse. Bare your heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badgalbriel Posted December 14, 2022 Author Share Posted December 14, 2022 @Lose My Breath he has no idea I know that guy. I never mentioned him. And yeah, I think they both have dating profiles. That's the only explanation for this since my boyfriend's account is completely private, the last time he posted a picture on Instagram was 6 years ago and he doesn't even follow more than 300 people. They might have met somehow. ARRRRRG IM GONNA DIE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanRickman1946 Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 Stan Alan Rickman instead. Stream A Little Chaos soundtrack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redstreak Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 I agree with @Miracle, if after almost five years you can’t just ask him without being gaslit or lied to or worrying that you would be that sort of already gives you a lot of answers to work with on where y’all are Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Torres Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 Maybe they are together preparing a huge Xmas present for u! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
State of Grace. Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 Mess I didn't even know that you could block someone from seeing your online status Agree with what was said here. To me it sounds like someone who's about to cheat which is still just as bad. You're clearly not going crazy. The problem is that I can totally see him trying to gaslight you and make you the bad guy here because you do not trust him, you're imagining things, you're being insecure, jealous, bla bla bla. I'd say you should collect more evidence before confronting him tbh. Since you have close friends who follow him you could maybe ask for their help (sus activity online, seeing around with this guy/another one) and keep an eye on the other building. So basically stalk him. I don't think going through his phone is a good idea though. So sorry that you have to go through this and hope things get better asap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yawn Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 since u know his pw : - check his old insta stories to see what he’s been posting behind ur back - check u are actually blocked from viewing in settings - check his dms with suspicious new man - check his apps to see if u see a dating app besides this, i think u can casually raise with him that u saw him checking his insta story and that u haven’t seen him post any for a while - so he obviously must have removed u from viewing it - why? this isn’t too extreme or crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katara Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 It makes no sense to talk to him with the few infos you have. He is gonna successfully gaslight you and make it seem like you are paranoid and untrusting for no reason. Also he is gonna be way more careful with his ways from that moment on. The solution is simple: grab his phone. When it's like 4 in the morning go for a pee and grab his phone to the bathroom. Search only for the infos that you need and then you know for sure. It makes no sense for paranoia to eat you away when the solution is right there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sombre Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 (edited) I would say get proof and then confront him. And save the proof before confronting him so he won't be able to gaslight you. Also, if you have an Android, there's a fork of the official Instagram app that lets you view stories without the poster knowing. It's called "Instander", just get the APK and install it. Edit: I mean in case you wanna view the mutual friend's story from your business account. Edited December 14, 2022 by Sombre Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsandlabneh Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 I don't think going through any shady measures will do you any good because then it'll turn into a "who allowed you to even touch my phone?" mess and the main issue will be forgotten. Be upfront about it and ask him what's up and don't let him gaslight you or turn you into a lunatic (easier said than done but yeah). You should have a strong foundation for communicating and trusting each other after 4 years, so this should be something you can bring up with him. Good luck sis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badgalbriel Posted December 14, 2022 Author Share Posted December 14, 2022 Yeah, I don't want to go through his phone. If I don't find out anything and this whole thing has been a miss understanding, then I'll just look like a crazy psycho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badgalbriel Posted December 14, 2022 Author Share Posted December 14, 2022 This is so ****** up. I'll talk to him about expectations for the relationship today and I'll try to let him know my expectations too. Maybe he will understand that he needs to tell me something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PoisonedIvy Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 Yeah don’t listen to the people saying go through his phone. Please. It gives him ammunition -against- you and you want to remain blameless in this. (Even though you’re justified in your search for the truth). As someone who has been through this before (finding out a guy I was dating was speaking to so many guys behind my back) I just recommend getting tested, trying to get some form of solid evidence -without- snooping through his phone, and then confronting him once you’ve got the facts. I don’t want you to be gaslit or doubt yourself on what you know to be true, as others have said, and I don’t want him to be able to make you feel guilty or in the wrong for feeling betrayed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badgalbriel Posted December 14, 2022 Author Share Posted December 14, 2022 @katara the thing about grabbing his phone is that this might be a breach of his privacy if he's not doing anything and I'm just imagining things. What if he didn't block me? What if I saw something else? That's why this is so hard for me to deal, cause I don't know what I can get out of this story just from what I have currently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbeHicks Posted December 14, 2022 Share Posted December 14, 2022 Share his account with a friend or someone from here you trust and ask him to approach your boyfriend for sex & see how he reacts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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