cockatoo Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 Anyone who's been on a few dates has had this happen. It's annoying but that's life I guess. If I'm not interested in someone I adapt a message I have saved in my notes app and send it to them. I've definitely found as I've got older that if we don't have a connection we both realise it and no one has to say anything. A mutual ghosting if you will.
Into The Void Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 (edited) 2 hours ago, Bey Admired said: So I went on a “date” last night and I have not heard from him since. I don’t know, I thought we had a connection and I think he found me attractive, so it’s a bit weird to be ghosted like this It’s never happened to me before. I am now ruminating about all the things I may have said that turned him off. I guess I’d just prefer him to say I enjoyed our date but I’m not interested in taking it any further. I’d respect it even. But to be ghosted by him just seems a bit cruel. Share your experiences. its only been 1 day give it some time idk what time zone you're in but many wont respond immediately. Let him wake up go about his day he could be busy and hasn't had a chance to reach out he will when he has the chance. I wouldn't worry until about 3 days Edited December 3, 2022 by Insanity
Oktober Knight Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 Gays don't know how to be up front so they just cut all contact instead. To put it bluntly, he likely wasn't into you and that's his way of saying so.
Jaguarqueef Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 3 hours ago, ugo said: Yeah I’ve been the archer I’ve been te prey It’s just part of the game, after a while it barely stings OP, make sure to schedule hella dates and talk to lots of men, so you don’t get overly attached to one
iiswhoiis_max Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 I never ghosted like not replying at all. But after a bad date I tend to shut down the chatting to a minimum. I just can't tell em that the date was not IT. I hate when guys after an obvious bad date go like "We see each other again?" And I literally be like "Sure, Jan". Like I can't tell em no in the face. :D I'm a bad human. I haven't been ghosted tho... I think.
Bey Admired Posted December 3, 2022 Author Posted December 3, 2022 1 hour ago, Delirious said: SCREAMING LMFAOOOOOO dont tell me he saw this thread!!!!!!!!!!!!! That would be He would have every right to ghost me if he saw this thread and my posts on this forum throughout the years.
Nazareth Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 I used to ghost people, but now I just tell them straight up that I’m not interested. No point wasting peoples time or even caring what they think if you’re not going to pursue anything further. A friendship is completely out of the picture as well because in the back of your mind you’ll always know that person feels a certain way about you.
Price88 Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 Silence and ghosting is exactly the problem in society. To me, be a man, have some balls and say how u feel. There’s plenty of things u can say to someone that won’t hurt their feelings: i think you’re an awesome guy/girl and you deserve the best. I just don’t think if I am the best you need. i feel we had some things in common. But maybe I should stick to friendships right now. I feel it’s better than me trying to hurt someone. You are a real good person and I would love to keep what we have. But just as a friend, simply because I want you to have someone that really will give you all you need. Those are just some answers I can come up with. Of course, I had some shorter answers and they have worked too. But there’s no reason to be a dick or an ******* to someone. And ghosting is just that. I only do that if someone acts like a psycho. But usually I’ll still respond to it just with more authority. I’ve been in the scene a long time so I know what works and what doesn’t. Many Guys in their early to mid 20s don’t know how to communicate half the time anyways so I don’t get amazed when I see no responses. Though, they got a lot to say on media coverage and trying to argue and hate on people.
ugo Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 (edited) 21 minutes ago, Jaguarqueef said: It’s just part of the game, after a while it barely stings OP, make sure to schedule hella dates and talk to lots of men, so you don’t get overly attached to one Yeah after having more experience it just doesn’t matter and now I’ve been with the same guy for 3 years. Edited December 3, 2022 by ugo
Sweet Sexy Savage Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 I just ghosted a guy right now who I’ve been talking to for like a week. We have good conversations and commonality in interests, but from my pov, I have a lot of anxiety trauma from being rejected or things not working out, so this is how I deal with that trauma unfortunately. Not the most healthiest since I won’t be able to find a partner or significant other, but oh well
Danger Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 I was gonna say how did he ghost you if your date was only last night glad he responded back to you, OP! to answer the question, I’ve been ghosted by ‘friends’ not men
terrorblade Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 3 hours ago, ChapelHooker said: you guys are going on dates?
Sanctuary Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 Yes, a couple times. I've also done it, but I admit it's immature and I haven't done it in a while. What gets me is the guys who ghost me, contact me again weeks/months later, and ghost me AGAIN. Like what was the point?
Theshigo Washidu Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 (edited) Yes. I went for a meal with this guy earlier in the year and he spent the night at my accom. The next day I dropped him at the train station as he was heading back home. When he got home, I never heard back from him until I reached out. He said that he wasn't feeling me romantically, is still dealing with getting over his last relationship blah blah. Personally I'd rather someone tell me that they're not feeling me than ghost or play with my time. It's immature and weird. Behaviour like this are one of the reasons why I divested romantically from men. Edited December 3, 2022 by St. Francis
Cyanide Posted December 4, 2022 Posted December 4, 2022 I feel like it doesn’t make sense unless something obvious happened. When I’ve ghosted people it’s been for obvious reasons I went on a date with a guy last month who ended up getting so belligerently drunk at like 10:30 that we ended up having to leave the bar we were at….. I told him he could stay on my couch until he was sober enough to drive and he insisted on staying in my bed and was an absolute disaster, made weird grunting-scream noises while we were hooking up and when I asked nicely if he could be quieter he said I was being crazy and that I was hurting his feelings….. Eventually I called him an Uber and he tried to leave without his shoes, it was just a disaster and this saga lasted like 7 hours before he was gone….. and then he hit me up a couple days later and I just left him on seen. I mean what? Another guy I had a date with that went well, we met up on I think a Wednesday or Thursday and we had a really great date and conversation but I was kinda turned off at how he was so giddy for me to foot the bill, like fine, but we’re the same age so it’s kind of corny. After that he told me that he wanted to hang out on that Saturday so I texted him asking if he still wanted to hang and he sent me this long paragraph about how he’s having some family issues and isn’t in the place to date. I felt blindsided, also couldn’t tell whether he was being truthful so I just didn’t reply. I mean right there’s no point? So after that he started watching all of my stories (we don’t follow each other on IG) and trying to get me to hook up with him and I just refuse to meet up with him again because of how weird it was. Another guy I met earlier this year I had really good dates with but I would see him and then travel for a couple days, come back, see him again, and then when I came back from coachella he never spoke to me again I hope he is alright, he was acting really erratic on our last date and never posted to his Instagram or socials ever again shortly after that. I feel like that’s a him issue The current guy I like, we talked on a dating app like almost a year ago and it’s crazy because I talk to so many guys on apps but I DID remember him and really wanted to meet him. I guess he felt the same because he reached out such a long time later when he was in my city to meet up. We had a BEAUTIFUL date, probably one of my favorites because he just seemed so genuinely interested in me as a person and I felt the same, such a soft beautiful kiss and gentle sweet guy. He lives in a different country though and traveled back. We talked about visiting but our conversations have kinda fallen off. We’ll talk a bit here and there and then he won’t answer. So I guess maybe he doesn’t feel like it’s worth pursuing since we live in different places, which I understand and agree. I just don’t want it to be that the connection I felt was just in my head or that it wasn’t real or idk
RunUpDoneUp Posted December 4, 2022 Posted December 4, 2022 Sorry to hear that but really, I don't get how people take every date as something meaningful, that sht gets boring. It's literally a numbers game, most people won't fit, it's not you more often than not. I believe I got ghosted 2, the first I don't remember. The second was with 'ol dude that I knew it wasn't going to go anywhere with but I agreed to contact him after to check if he got home safe, hoe let it ring x3 times. Idk if he died or what but I never heard from him since.
Alldeezy Posted December 4, 2022 Posted December 4, 2022 hmm once but it was like an hour before the date and he blocked me and i'm just like okay creep! he was on many drugs anyway's so I dodged a bullet! a year later he adds me back on facebook saying hey lets catch up but I ghost him now but i'm the girl who ghosts the guys, If I go on a date and there is nothing there! i won't reply at all xD Many keep trying still like get the hint, its been like 4 years
Europe Posted December 4, 2022 Posted December 4, 2022 On 12/3/2022 at 2:38 PM, Bey Admired said: Never mind, he’s replied saying he’d like to see me again. He’s just admittedly awful at replying to messages. Well well well.... Good luck on date #2 sis, make sure to tell us how it went
John Slayne Posted December 4, 2022 Posted December 4, 2022 On 12/3/2022 at 12:56 PM, Bey Admired said: But what if you feel there was a connection and you genuinely don’t understand the silence? What if you think you may have said something that he took the wrong way and offended him, but you can now never resolve it because he has ghosted you without seeking any further clarification? It’s just very frustrating. Girl there could be a million reasons why he ghosted. Maybe he's busy with work. Maybe his grandma died and he's rushing to attend the funeral. Maybe you did say something offensive to him. Or maybe he's just not that into you. There's no point in 'trying to figure out why he's not interested', because it could be literally anything and it might not have anything to do with you at all. Like others have said, no answer is an answer too. He decided not to express himself, which is annoying but you aren't helping yourself by dwelling on it too much. Listen to Ghost by Slayyyter and move on.
prézli Posted December 4, 2022 Posted December 4, 2022 I always ghosted everyone. Until October when I got together with one of my co-workers. Funny thing is that he's the only one that I never had a date with. Dates suck.
Pepo Posted December 4, 2022 Posted December 4, 2022 (edited) It has just happened to me. After he sucked me off. People who do such things, including members who posted in this thread, are scum and I wish them the worst. Edited December 4, 2022 by Pepo
karma police Posted December 4, 2022 Posted December 4, 2022 Ghosting is immature and I always like to think about such people that I dodged the bullet. How can you create any stable/serious/mature relationship in which you have to communicate your emotions all the time if you're unable to communicate how you feel after the first meeting? There's absolutely nothing wrong in not feeling anything or thinking it's not "it", cause reality often brutally verify the facetuned photos and the first impression in real life is more important than chat on apps. And there are ton of ways to write it politely and respectfully, so the other side is not wasting their time on being hung up on you. And no, "no answer" in not an answer. It's just childish and basically an acid test of being a decent human.
MadonnasBoyfriend Posted December 5, 2022 Posted December 5, 2022 I normally ghost if they aren't perfectly toned. I like hot bodies
TeemoR Posted December 5, 2022 Posted December 5, 2022 (edited) Of course and I have ghosted as well. It's almost impossible to not be ghosted if you go out frequently on dates, especially in big cities. It's pretty rough because you start questioning everything about yourself and what you did or said and just want answers...when in reality it might just be something stupid or you didn't think of. For example, maybe the guy you saw has a boyfriend, didn't tell you, and felt guilty after the date and wanted to go back to his boyfriend.... Edited December 5, 2022 by TeemoR
TeemoR Posted December 5, 2022 Posted December 5, 2022 5 hours ago, karma police said: Ghosting is immature and I always like to think about such people that I dodged the bullet. How can you create any stable/serious/mature relationship in which you have to communicate your emotions all the time if you're unable to communicate how you feel after the first meeting? There's absolutely nothing wrong in not feeling anything or thinking it's not "it", cause reality often brutally verify the facetuned photos and the first impression in real life is more important than chat on apps. And there are ton of ways to write it politely and respectfully, so the other side is not wasting their time on being hung up on you. And no, "no answer" in not an answer. It's just childish and basically an acid test of being a decent human. What are some ways to do that? Asking for a friend.
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