Bey Admired Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 So I went on a “date” last night and I have not heard from him since. I don’t know, I thought we had a connection and I think he found me attractive, so it’s a bit weird to be ghosted like this It’s never happened to me before. I am now ruminating about all the things I may have said that turned him off. I guess I’d just prefer him to say I enjoyed our date but I’m not interested in taking it any further. I’d respect it even. But to be ghosted by him just seems a bit cruel. Share your experiences.
Europe Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 Well of course I mean who hasn't? It's just part of the game. I ghosted a bunch of men too. It's just something that you can't make a big deal out of in 2022. It happens.
Bey Admired Posted December 3, 2022 Author Posted December 3, 2022 5 minutes ago, AbeHicks said: Well of course I mean who hasn't? It's just part of the game. I ghosted a bunch of men too. It's just something that you can't make a big deal out of in 2022. It happens. Why can’t you just say you’re not interested? It isn’t hard. Also, what game? I didn’t know I was playing a game.
smartalek22 Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 no but when i tried to arrange a 3rd date he made up thousands of excuses of how he was 'busy' and then next thing you know like 2 weeks later he's posting about his new boyfriend
Europe Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 Just now, Bey Admired said: Why can’t you just say you’re not interested? It isn’t hard. Well, if you want to be serious about it, in general no answer is an answer too. You can say a lot with silence. Maybe a better way to look at it is that if he can't even take the 2 seconds to text you then he was never worth the energy in the first place. So now that you know that you can move on to the next one.
Bey Admired Posted December 3, 2022 Author Posted December 3, 2022 3 minutes ago, AbeHicks said: Well, if you want to be serious about it, in general no answer is an answer too. You can say a lot with silence. Maybe a better way to look at it is that if he can't even take the 2 seconds to text you then he was never worth the energy in the first place. So now that you know that you can move on to the next one. But what if you feel there was a connection and you genuinely don’t understand the silence? What if you think you may have said something that he took the wrong way and offended him, but you can now never resolve it because he has ghosted you without seeking any further clarification? It’s just very frustrating.
Uncatena Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 (edited) you guys are going on dates? Edited December 3, 2022 by ChapelHooker
duybeeGAshantiGA Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 Silence says a lot. If people go for a date and after that the other person doesnt text a lot there is already an answer. Many people, including myself, try to avoid saying things like "sorry I am not into you that much / I dont think we should go on".
Pacify Him Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 (edited) Yes, but some of the things he said to me was that he has 'a lot of problems' and exams to focus on. Months later, I'm still wondering what I did wrong. Is it me or is it him? But I've been known to be an intense and intimidating person. My one night from last December started talking to me again like around August too when I was talking with that guy. Several conversations later, he revealed to me he isn't ready. So I'm assuming it's the same for that other guy as well. Edited December 3, 2022 by Pacify Him
duybeeGAshantiGA Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 3 minutes ago, Bey Admired said: But what if you feel there was a connection and you genuinely don’t understand the silence? What if you think you may have said something that he took the wrong way and offended him, but you can now never resolve it because he has ghosted you without seeking any further clarification? It’s just very frustrating. I think the connection was not really there, maybe it's just from your side and he was faking it quite well or he was trying to be polite and nice. But then it wasnt very nice when he ghosted you like that :( I think you should just ignore him and move on with your life.
Bloodflowers. Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 No, but I did ghost other guys on two occassions cuz they were WEIRDOS!
Bey Admired Posted December 3, 2022 Author Posted December 3, 2022 Just now, duybeeGAshantiGA said: I think the connection was not really there, maybe it's just from your side and he was faking it quite well or he was trying to be polite and nice. But then it wasnt very nice when he ghosted you like that :( I think you should just ignore him and move on with your life. Yeah, but he was the one who invited me back to his place so he had to be feeling some sort of connection. We didn’t have sex because he said he wanted to wait but we did engage in some foreplay and we left on good terms. So it’s just all a bit odd really. I’m honestly baffled.
duybeeGAshantiGA Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 Just now, Bey Admired said: Yeah, but he was the one who invited me back to his place so he had to be feeling some sort of connection. We didn’t have sex because he said he wanted to wait but we did engage in some foreplay and we left on good terms. So it’s just all a bit odd really. I’m honestly baffled. Same case here. After we even had sex, when I was leaving he said "plz come back when you feel like it" but then I havent heard from him for a few days already but im used to it because I also did that to many people too karma! I guess thats how the gay world works.
liquiddiamonds Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 (edited) 9 minutes ago, Bey Admired said: Yeah, but he was the one who invited me back to his place so he had to be feeling some sort of connection. We didn’t have sex because he said he wanted to wait but we did engage in some foreplay and we left on good terms. So it’s just all a bit odd really. I’m honestly baffled. Don’t internalize it as something you did. Maybe he got what he wanted and moved to other endeavors. Another take is that he might even have liked you but not as much or too lazy to further entertain it. Unless he gives you a sort of feedback you wonMt ever know. Some men will ghost you even after seeing your nudes, because somehow thats their goal. It’s ridiculous. If you had said something completely off putting you’d remember the moment by his reaction. If he had a problem with your personality or how you treat people he wouldnt have asked you to go come to his home. It seems more like a he-issue Edited December 3, 2022 by liquiddiamonds
Sazare Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 8 minutes ago, Bey Admired said: Yeah, but he was the one who invited me back to his place so he had to be feeling some sort of connection. We didn’t have sex because he said he wanted to wait but we did engage in some foreplay and we left on good terms. So it’s just all a bit odd really. I’m honestly baffled. Not to be crass but he was probably horny in the moment but lost interest after that passed. Happens.
katara Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 Who hasn't LOL? Gays are fickle as hell. The rule of the thumb after a date is that if he - doesnt write at all - writes only short answers when you initiate - takes long to answer and seems not interested to chat / meet up then he isn't into you. I know it's better to communicate that you have no interest but gays are fickle and bad at communicating
Bey Admired Posted December 3, 2022 Author Posted December 3, 2022 7 minutes ago, Sazare said: Not to be crass but he was probably horny in the moment but lost interest after that passed. Happens. You’re probably right. He did say he didn’t want to have anal sex but he wouldn’t mind a mouth full of my *** so it makes sense.
VVVVVV Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 (edited) In my case i have ghost people but is different i never have a date, because im in the closet. I just hook up, mostly is foreplay. Usually i dont like sex, after i do it i dont want to see anyone for month, is like a cycle. Usually i tell the other person i dont want to see anyone or maybe we are going to see each other in the futute (no specific day or time) and then i ghost o let them in read. I just feel i never be with someone i really like, i just hook up for hook up. I never have chemistry or anything in common with any men at all, something i feel im not gay because my low drive or exciment. I feel i like them more than they like me. Edited December 3, 2022 by VVVVVV
G.U.Y. Gaga Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 45 minutes ago, Bey Admired said: So I went on a “date” last night and I have not heard from him since. I don’t know, I thought we had a connection and I think he found me attractive, so it’s a bit weird to be ghosted like this It’s never happened to me before. I am now ruminating about all the things I may have said that turned him off. I guess I’d just prefer him to say I enjoyed our date but I’m not interested in taking it any further. I’d respect it even. But to be ghosted by him just seems a bit cruel. Share your experiences. Yes but that is just how being gay in nyc works lol You sadly may have to get used to it because I think it’s becoming the common thing to do
Bey Admired Posted December 3, 2022 Author Posted December 3, 2022 Never mind, he’s replied saying he’d like to see me again. He’s just admittedly awful at replying to messages.
Bey Admired Posted December 3, 2022 Author Posted December 3, 2022 12 minutes ago, VVVVVV said: In my case i have ghost people but is different i never have a date, because im in the closet. I just hook up, mostly is foreplay. Usually i dont like sex, after i do it i dont want to see anyone for month, is like a cycle. Usually i tell the other person i dont want to see anyone or maybe we are going to see each other in the futute (no specific day or time) and then i ghost o let them in read. I just feel i never be with someone i really like, i just hook up for hook up. I never have chemistry or anything in common with any men at all, something i feel im not gay because my low drive or exciment. I feel i like them more than they like me.
VVVVVV Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 28 minutes ago, Bey Admired said: What??? ????
Material Girl Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 no but i have ghosted someone before because i thought they were obnoxious. after the date was over i just blocked his number and moved on with my life
Delirious Posted December 3, 2022 Posted December 3, 2022 1 hour ago, Bey Admired said: Never mind, he’s replied saying he’d like to see me again. He’s just admittedly awful at replying to messages. SCREAMING LMFAOOOOOO dont tell me he saw this thread!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Recommended Posts