fountain Posted March 9, 2017 Author Share Posted March 9, 2017 Just now, Hug said: Are they good Yes !!! With Nutella Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ceremonials Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 not 1 done. serve length and girth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackson Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 Remember when I was going to bed 3 hours ago? Well I woke up an hour later and can't go back to sleep now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hug Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 Just now, Jackson said: Remember when I was going to bed 3 hours ago? Well I woke up an hour later and can't go back to sleep now I will pray for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ceremonials Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 1 minute ago, Jackson said: Remember when I was going to bed 3 hours ago? Well I woke up an hour later and can't go back to sleep now lets dubtrack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackson Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 5 minutes ago, ceremonials said: lets dubtrack fine, play things that will make me fall asleep Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ceremonials Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 so are reviews coming like within the hour pearched Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ughgabriel Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 oh @ citrus leaving us waiting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted March 9, 2017 Author Share Posted March 9, 2017 Pears Reviews https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOCyvf7kl2g @Jackson - With this entry, I love your lyrical style. Again you've done a good job of improving your emotional content. If there's any kind of issue here though, I think it's that you bounce around topics a little. You go from like, getting kicked out the house to becoming a homeless prostitute to contemplating suicide. Of course it's storytelling but, I felt like each different 'phase' if you could call it that, could've used a little more attention, or the transitions between each could've been smoother. For example, not that it's an important factor, but I don't think I would've realised this was about a gay person unless you said so in your description, cause you don't really hint at it other than in religious context and while the two are related at times, it's a little too disconnected for me. You could've focused on just one of these aspects in more detail and it would've felt more well rounded, I think. You did a good job of making this obviously a song with the meter. What I like about your writing is that you have a pretty good range of topics that you like to work with. For me, if you make it thru to the semi finals, I'd like you to continue this kind of unpredictability, and continue trying to improve your emotional connection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackson Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 thanks pear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted March 9, 2017 Author Share Posted March 9, 2017 Pears Reviews https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOCyvf7kl2g @ceremonials - Rhymes on point. Lyricism on point. The only thing I'm questioning a little bit is what this narrative is supposed to be. Cause it's completely vague. I can't tell if you're trying to be metaphorical or like it's literally about somebody fighting for, like, a king? I'm so unsure. That said though, the ambiguity didn't really hinder this too much because I loved how you kept to the theme, it was a real smooth song that I enjoyed. With your writing, I really enjoy your lyricism especially on songs like this and your entry last round where you stray away from being overly solemn and depressing. I think, in a way, that attempt at conveying such a strong emotion all the time can drown out and take away from your writing. So if I were you, I'd continue on this kind of path. I don't think there's an issue in being inspired by that kind of dark aura, but it should never overtake your song which in the past I would say it has come close to, so I'd be careful of that. This was much nicer stylistically, if you see what I mean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ceremonials Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 Yeah I'm glad it wasnt too depressing, I dont wanna go there again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted March 9, 2017 Author Share Posted March 9, 2017 Pears Reviews https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOCyvf7kl2g @ughgabriel - I thought you did a perfect job of taking the story and writing around it. Your use of imagery was really, really good and you mixed it seamlessly with really sweet sentimental lines which I adore. It's quite a tough job taking a story like this which is so interpretive too and crafting it into a song so, I think you did an amazing job. And I love this about your writing in general, like in other tracks like Artificial Paradise, you're unafraid to take inspiration which is so different and manages to take me into different worlds at times. This has been really unique to me. You always manage to make your songs emotional but without losing sophistication, for example in Tijuana. I feel like you never go the easy route lyrically, there is always a nice degree of refinement to your entries which I really enjoy. I would suggest keeping that up, pretty much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ughgabriel Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 Thanks Pears I'm specially happy about you and Corsola enjoying this song since you are the ones that I know of who stan Porter and Shelter so it's nice knowing you liked what i did! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted March 9, 2017 Author Share Posted March 9, 2017 will do the others l8r Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citrus Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 My laptop mouse went all weird so I stopped after 2 reviews and read a book. Will get the rest this afternoon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackson Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 1 hour ago, Citrus said: My laptop mouse went all weird so I stopped after 2 reviews and read a book. Will get the rest this afternoon King of reading literature instead of producing it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ughgabriel Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 So I slept nothing at all and I spent the whole morning with my students they took all my energy away and I'm a walking zombie right now, now I'm going to uni Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citrus Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 I have to do a lecture thing so I'm not going to be able to post critiques when I wanted to (now). Sent in my scores though, and you'll get my reviews this evening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackson Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 1 hour ago, ughgabriel said: So I slept nothing at all and I spent the whole morning with my students they took all my energy away and I'm a walking zombie right now, now I'm going to uni Katy her impact Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citrus Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 Hints tho #1 and #2 have each been my #1 before #3 has never been this high for me (love you tho) #4 is not competing in their first season #5 needs to step their ***** up #6 has a Joslyn edit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted March 9, 2017 Author Share Posted March 9, 2017 Everybody who listens to Samaritan gets a 10 http://london.doverstreetmarket.com/ionnalee/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackson Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 51 minutes ago, keshaspearsxo said: Everybody who listens to Samaritan gets a 10 http://london.doverstreetmarket.com/ionnalee/ why are they doing the macarena Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted March 9, 2017 Author Share Posted March 9, 2017 5 minutes ago, Jackson said: why are they doing the macarena I literally just lowered your score Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackson Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 Just now, keshaspearsxo said: I literally just lowered your score I love the macarena though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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