Achilles. Posted April 21, 2018 Posted April 21, 2018 With all this talk of narcissism, now seems like the perfect time to stream “I Did Something Bad!”
ultraviolence.xx Posted April 21, 2018 Posted April 21, 2018 2 minutes ago, Achilles. said: Thank you UV! you're welcome! thanks for submitting! oh, another question i had: why the name Cassandra? does that have some mythological denotation i'm not picking up on? or justrandom?
Hug Posted April 21, 2018 Posted April 21, 2018 Just now, Achilles. said: With all this talk of narcissism, now seems like the perfect time to stream “I Did Something Bad!”
swiftie13 Posted April 21, 2018 Posted April 21, 2018 1 minute ago, Achilles. said: With all this talk of narcissism, now seems like the perfect time to stream “I Did Something Bad!” :vomit:
RihsusChrist(ATG) Posted April 21, 2018 Posted April 21, 2018 15 minutes ago, Gastrodonatella said: true narcissism is taking a judge responding to a player and encouraging them to think creatively and making it revolve around yourself True narcissism is deflecting ones own internal feelings of inadequacy on to another person. 14 minutes ago, Hug said: Look at me you may think you see Who I really am but you'll never know me Every day it's as if I play a part Now I see if I wear a mask I can fool the world but I cannot fool my heart Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me? When will my reflection show who I am inside? I am now in a world where I Have to hide my heart and what I believe in But somehow I will show the world What's inside my heart and be loved for who I am Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know? Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time? When will my reflection show who I am inside? There's a heart that must be free to fly That burns with a need to know the reason why Why must we all conceal what we think and how we feel? Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide? I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time When will my reflection show who I am inside? When will my reflection show who I am inside? Its okay Hug, I understand.
Achilles. Posted April 21, 2018 Posted April 21, 2018 4 minutes ago, ultraviolence.xx said: you're welcome! thanks for submitting! oh, another question i had: why the name Cassandra? does that have some mythological denotation i'm not picking up on? or justrandom? Yes. Cassandra was a princess in the city of Troy. The god Apollo fell in love with her, and gave her the gift of prophecy. But she rebuked him, so he cursed her so that nobody would believe her prophecies. Most of her prophecies revolved around how Troy would end up going to war and subsequently be destroyed, but of course nobody believed her. Over the centuries, Cassandra has been used as a symbol / metaphor / allegory of all sorts of things, generally revolving around individuals who speak undesirable truths that are dismissed by others. Her name has actually been invoked quite a bit recently with regards to how some women (and other minorities) tried to warn the world how bad Donald Trump would be and how they were dismissed as “hysterical” and whatnot (that’s kinda what the first verse is alluding to). I’m lowkey surprised you liked the song so much without knowing the story behind it. I guess that means I did a pretty good job conveying what I was going for.
ultraviolence.xx Posted April 21, 2018 Posted April 21, 2018 3 minutes ago, Achilles. said: Yes. Cassandra was a princess in the city of Troy. The god Apollo fell in love with her, and gave her the gift of prophecy. But she rebuked him, so he cursed her so that nobody would believe her prophecies. Most of her prophecies revolved around how Troy would end up going to war and subsequently be destroyed, but of course nobody believed her. Over the centuries, Cassandra has been used as a symbol / metaphor / allegory of all sorts of things, generally revolving around individuals who speak undesirable truths that are dismissed by others. Her name has actually been invoked quite a bit recently with regards to how some women (and other minorities) tried to warn the world how bad Donald Trump would be and how they were dismissed as “hysterical” and whatnot (that’s kinda what the first verse is alluding to). I’m lowkey surprised you liked the song so much without knowing the story behind it. I guess that means I did a pretty good job conveying what I was going for. yeah, you did a good job of conveying the legend's meaning even if someone had no understanding of the legend. it all came through in the song. slé!
ultraviolence.xx Posted April 21, 2018 Posted April 21, 2018 (edited) U MAGAZINE THIS WEEK'S TRACK REVIEWS This post rounds up our reviews of the final quarter of this week's chart debuts. For earlier quarters, check previous digital issues. @Alesus – "Void" Spoiler alesus debuts with “void (veer off into darkness).” okay i’m slain right off the bat by some of these images. you clearly have a love of wordplay that comes through in the way you write. fractals and flames and murky water, whew. i liked that you capitalized Mother in the chorus, gave it sort of a superlative feeling, but that cap was missing in the verse and it would’ve been cool to have them both. the main issue with this song is it feels more poem-y than song-y; it needs a more rigid syllable structure. my wig is already levitating imagining you bring this level of imagery and concept to a song with stronger meter. (also +2,000,000PHU for the lana reference “i will never sing again,” unless it wasn’t intentional, in which case no score increase.) favorite part: “fractals burst through the twilight”; “time is dead and all is hurting”; “let go, forget, be still / journey quietly into the night” @ceremonials – "Breath of the Wild" Spoiler ceremonials makes a legendary return with “breath of the wild.” the title gave me “breath of life” teas, so i knew i’d stan. and then i read it. and i stanned. (stunned? sten? stawn?) this is the first ceremonials song i’ve heard, and i’m beginning to understand their rise to legend status. the bridge in particular features such gorgeous imagery and such a strict sense of meter that shouldn’t possibly coexist, but they do. wig. i feel that already. if i have one criticism that is in any way valid, it’s that the repetition of the chorus at the end doesn’t feel necessary. though the chorus feels important whenever it appears, decontextualized by each of the verses and the bridge, the very last one doesn’t serve any purpose coming right after itself. the outro felt more like an extended chorus which would trump the repeated chorus. (sry for using the word “trump”) favorite part: lines 1-61 @Citrus – "Friends" Spoiler citrus makes a triumphant return to the charts with “friends.” let me start by saying that some parts of this song snatched my wig so hard they barely left any scalp. the second stanza in the verse is one of the best things i read in this entire round; it’s like if CRJ outdid CRJ. the spoken part is like if halsey weren’t a cringe ****ing mess for once and actually delivered something poignant. what really drags this down is the repetition in the chorus. i know from reading this song—specifically the verses and spoken-word bridge—that you can do much, much better. ugh. i just keep reading that one stanza and squealing like a little bitch. serve THIS more consistently next week and break the charts, legend. favorite part: “we’ll be bette apart / but you and i both know you’ll never call me / ‘cause it’ll be too hard / to act as if i never held your heartbeat” @Corsola – "Coccoon" Spoiler all this ****ing time you spend typing this essay when you COULD'VE been spending that completing your entry lmao, jk. okay, WIG. i’ve heard so much through PH11 and at the beginning of this season about how legendary your concepts are and i’m totally seeing it in action now. that intro is ****ing flawless. the phrasing of every line is gorgeous. i just wish it were a whole ass song. lowkey coming to snatch #1 if it weren’t missing parts. the only part i didn’t love is “this shadow of its depths *that i just can’t forget.*” it feels weak compared to the rest of your immaculate lines and i feel like you could figure out better phrasing. i think it’s the “just” throwing me off. favorite part: the internal rhyming in the middle eight BITCH @Auburn – "Galaxy Bedouin" Spoiler auburn debuts on the charts this week with “galaxy bedouin.” okay, this is serving funkiest concept of the week. i like what you’re doing mixing celestial themes with cowboy themes, even if sometimes it comes off a bit “wtf?”. the technicals of the song—meter, imagery, rhyme—are all done really well. none of the rhymes feel like they’re shoehorned in. the word “lick” in the chorus feels like an odd choice of noun, though i like the alliteration it forms with “liquid,” so that’s kind of double-edged. there are very gorgeous moments in here—“wisps and whirls,” “starlit wanderer,” “frosty void,” etc.—that really vacated my follicles. can’t wait to see what you serve up next week. favorite part: lots actually i can’t pick one @Lucky#17 – "Weatherman" Spoiler lucky#17 debuts with “weatherman.” the main reason this song didn’t sell incredibly well in europe is because listeners called in and said the central refrain of “these weathermen don’t have **** on you” felt lowkey cringey. the spoken “and ****” in the bridge and the “on the daily” in the prechorus totally took me out of the song, made it feel somewhat juvenile. there were some fun lines, though, in the pre-choruses, though the “addiction / affliction” rhyme pairing feels forced. i also really like the way, similar to in UFO’s song, that your central metaphor isn’t overbearing in your song. it’s got traces of some astral stuff, weather teas every now and then, but it isn’t entirely about that to where it feels cramped. i’ll be excited to see what you serve in later rounds. favorite part: “the sun only rises when we start to slumber / it can’t handle coming out to play when we’re awake” @Xedretinz Lododnz – "Burned Into Ashes" Spoiler Xedretinz Lododnz debuts this week with “burned into ashes.” first off, the central image of this song is beautiful: i love the visual of photos on fire, and from a metaphorical standpoint, it’s beautiful, too. unfortunately, some parts of the song could be stronger. the repetition in the chorus weakens it a bit, when two additional lines would’ve made it stronger. also, the repetition in verse 2 weakens it considerably; it reads like you didn’t feel like writing three more lines so you just repeated the same one three more times. (though i could also see that creating a really cool musical moment, some sort of vocal shift or something.) what i’d like to see from you next round is less repetition, because you’ve got the concept part down, it seems. favorite part: “the scars i’ve got from our sharp past / can never be erased without a taste / of tears in your eyes” @SeanKevinMusic – "Playing Pretend" Spoiler SeanKevinMusic debuts with “playing pretend.” okay this is cute, though i think you might be missing a word in the chorus: “why won’t the pain just [ ] away?” it’s told very simply, which is nice. sometimes a break from elevated language is refreshing. “i want you now” is a very simple line but it carries a lot of power, especially standing alone. i also like the bridge, the way it repeats the same sentence but changes some things (“i’m worthy” versus “you want me”); i love that device in music. i would like you find a better sense of meter next week. that would make the song pop i think. yeah, this is very good. hope you serve again next week. favorite part: “as the sun beams down and you open the door / i’m still unsure” Edited April 21, 2018 by ultraviolence.xx
RihsusChrist(ATG) Posted April 21, 2018 Posted April 21, 2018 9 minutes ago, Gastrodonatella said: projecting* enabling*
ultraviolence.xx Posted April 21, 2018 Posted April 21, 2018 2 minutes ago, Corsola said: Hide contents I HATE YOU laksjdhf i'll update with a real rihview i just wanted to give u what u wanted
SeanKevinMusic Posted April 21, 2018 Posted April 21, 2018 7 minutes ago, ultraviolence.xx said: U MAGAZINE THIS WEEK'S TRACK REVIEWS This post rounds up our reviews of the final quarter of this week's chart debuts. For earlier quarters, check previous digital issues. @Alesus – "Void" Reveal hidden contents alesus debuts with “void (veer off into darkness).” okay i’m slain right off the bat by some of these images. you clearly have a love of wordplay that comes through in the way you write. fractals and flames and murky water, whew. i liked that you capitalized Mother in the chorus, gave it sort of a superlative feeling, but that cap was missing in the verse and it would’ve been cool to have them both. the main issue with this song is it feels more poem-y than song-y; it needs a more rigid syllable structure. my wig is already levitating imagining you bring this level of imagery and concept to a song with stronger meter. (also +2,000,000PHU for the lana reference “i will never sing again,” unless it wasn’t intentional, in which case no score increase.) favorite part: “fractals burst through the twilight”; “time is dead and all is hurting”; “let go, forget, be still / journey quietly into the night” @ceremonials – "Breath of the Wild" Reveal hidden contents ceremonials makes a legendary return with “breath of the wild.” the title gave me “breath of life” teas, so i knew i’d stan. and then i read it. and i stanned. (stunned? sten? stawn?) this is the first ceremonials song i’ve heard, and i’m beginning to understand their rise to legend status. the bridge in particular features such gorgeous imagery and such a strict sense of meter that shouldn’t possibly coexist, but they do. wig. i feel that already. if i have one criticism that is in any way valid, it’s that the repetition of the chorus at the end doesn’t feel necessary. though the chorus feels important whenever it appears, decontextualized by each of the verses and the bridge, the very last one doesn’t serve any purpose coming right after itself. the outro felt more like an extended chorus which would trump the repeated chorus. (sry for using the word “trump”) favorite part: lines 1-61 @Citrus – "Friends" Reveal hidden contents citrus makes a triumphant return to the charts with “friends.” let me start by saying that some parts of this song snatched my wig so hard they barely left any scalp. the second stanza in the verse is one of the best things i read in this entire round; it’s like if CRJ outdid CRJ. the spoken part is like if halsey weren’t a cringe ****ing mess for once and actually delivered something poignant. what really drags this down is the repetition in the chorus. i know from reading this song—specifically the verses and spoken-word bridge—that you can do much, much better. ugh. i just keep reading that one stanza and squealing like a little bitch. serve THIS more consistently next week and break the charts, legend. favorite part: “we’ll be bette apart / but you and i both know you’ll never call me / ‘cause it’ll be too hard / to act as if i never held your heartbeat” @Corsola – "Coccoon" Reveal hidden contents all this ****ing time you spend typing this essay when you COULD'VE been spending that completing your entry @Auburn – "Galaxy Bedouin" Reveal hidden contents auburn debuts on the charts this week with “galaxy bedouin.” okay, this is serving funkiest concept of the week. i like what you’re doing mixing celestial themes with cowboy themes, even if sometimes it comes off a bit “wtf?”. the technicals of the song—meter, imagery, rhyme—are all done really well. none of the rhymes feel like they’re shoehorned in. the word “lick” in the chorus feels like an odd choice of noun, though i like the alliteration it forms with “liquid,” so that’s kind of double-edged. there are very gorgeous moments in here—“wisps and whirls,” “starlit wanderer,” “frosty void,” etc.—that really vacated my follicles. can’t wait to see what you serve up next week. favorite part: lots actually i can’t pick one @Lucky#17 – "Weatherman" Reveal hidden contents lucky#17 debuts with “weatherman.” the main reason this song didn’t sell incredibly well in europe is because listeners called in and said the central refrain of “these weathermen don’t have **** on you” felt lowkey cringey. the spoken “and ****” in the bridge and the “on the daily” in the prechorus totally took me out of the song, made it feel somewhat juvenile. there were some fun lines, though, in the pre-choruses, though the “addiction / affliction” rhyme pairing feels forced. i also really like the way, similar to in UFO’s song, that your central metaphor isn’t overbearing in your song. it’s got traces of some astral stuff, weather teas every now and then, but it isn’t entirely about that to where it feels cramped. i’ll be excited to see what you serve in later rounds. favorite part: “the sun only rises when we start to slumber / it can’t handle coming out to play when we’re awake” @Xedretinz Lododnz – "Burned Into Ashes" Reveal hidden contents Xedretinz Lododnz debuts this week with “burned into ashes.” first off, the central image of this song is beautiful: i love the visual of photos on fire, and from a metaphorical standpoint, it’s beautiful, too. unfortunately, some parts of the song could be stronger. the repetition in the chorus weakens it a bit, when two additional lines would’ve made it stronger. also, the repetition in verse 2 weakens it considerably; it reads like you didn’t feel like writing three more lines so you just repeated the same one three more times. (though i could also see that creating a really cool musical moment, some sort of vocal shift or something.) what i’d like to see from you next round is less repetition, because you’ve got the concept part down, it seems. favorite part: “the scars i’ve got from our sharp past / can never be erased without a taste / of tears in your eyes” @SeanKevinMusic – "Playing Pretend" Hide contents SeanKevinMusic debuts with “playing pretend.” okay this is cute, though i think you might be missing a word in the chorus: “why won’t the pain just [ ] away?” it’s told very simply, which is nice. sometimes a break from elevated language is refreshing. “i want you now” is a very simple line but it carries a lot of power, especially standing alone. i also like the bridge, the way it repeats the same sentence but changes some things (“i’m worthy” versus “you want me”); i love that device in music. i would like you find a better sense of meter next week. that would make the song pop i think. yeah, this is very good. hope you serve again next week. favorite part: “as the sun beams down and you open the door / i’m still unsure” Omg I forgot the word!! It’s meant to be: ‘why won’t the pain just go away’ ?? and thank you, it’s a very personal song and a true story!! You can listen to it here: Thank you so much!! ?
MattyTacos Posted April 21, 2018 Posted April 21, 2018 7 hours ago, UFO said: OMG I just realised my hit song Dancing With The Daffodils inspired by William Wordsworth's hit poem I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud would have ACED this challenge. let me not do Daffodils then As if nothing even matters Nothing can ruin what I'm feeling right now I feel no weight on my shoulders Like I'm dancing, dancing with the daffodils As if nothing even matters Even if I'm left in the dark once again I'll stay afloat on the river I'll be dancing, dancing with the daffodils I'm dancing with the daffodils ! Hide contents VERSE I couldn't see beyond the veil Lost in the mist, I gave into hell I always used to let the demons win I had enough of living lies I hid from what I'm really like Soon enough I ended up caving in PRE-CHORUS The smoke has cleared, my fears are denied I let the light in, my heart's revived My tired eyes burn with sudden fire I reach out to the skies CHORUS As if nothing even matters Nothing can ruin what I'm feeling right now I feel no weight on my shoulders Like I'm dancing, dancing with the daffodils As if nothing even matters Even if I'm left in the dark once again I'll stay afloat on the river I'll be dancing, dancing with the daffodils I'm dancing with the daffodils VERSE I couldn't see the horizon Blinded by hope, I longed for heaven Angels came and made the rain disappear Awakened, in paradise Now my happiness has taken flight Finally floating through the atmosphere PRE-CHORUS The smoke has cleared, my fears are denied I let the light in, my heart's revived My tired eyes burn with sudden fire I reach out to the skies CHORUS As if nothing even matters Nothing can ruin what I'm feeling right now I feel no weight on my shoulders Like I'm dancing, dancing with the daffodils As if nothing even matters Even if I'm left in the dark once again I'll stay afloat on the river I'll be dancing, dancing with the daffodils I'm dancing with the daffodils BRIDGE There's a potential for everything When a flower dies, another flower begins You'll make it through the first bloom of Spring Dream it 'til it's happening, happening to you To you too I let the light in, my heart's revived I reach out to the skies CHORUS As if nothing even matters Nothing can ruin what I'm feeling right now I feel no weight on my shoulders Like I'm dancing, dancing with the daffodils As if nothing even matters Even if I'm left in the dark once again I'll stay afloat on the river Cause I'll be dancing, dancing, dancing As if nothing even matters Nothing can ruin what I'm feeling right now I feel no weight on my shoulders Like I'm dancing, dancing with the daffodils As if nothing even matters Even if I'm left in the dark once again I'll stay afloat on the river I'll be dancing, dancing with the daffodils I'm dancing with the daffodils This is serving no tears left to cry
UFO Posted April 21, 2018 Posted April 21, 2018 1 minute ago, MattyTacos said: This is serving no tears left to cry THANKS BB! and yas, it has the same uplifting yet melancholy vibe that I LOVE.
UFO Posted April 21, 2018 Posted April 21, 2018 (edited) 9 minutes ago, ultraviolence.xx said: laksjdhf i'll update with a real rihview i just wanted to give u what u wanted Nnn sis did you review my song? idk if you mentioned me because my notifications are too much from the NTLTC single thread Edited April 21, 2018 by UFO
ultraviolence.xx Posted April 21, 2018 Posted April 21, 2018 1 minute ago, UFO said: Nnn sis did you review my song? idk if you mentioned me because my notifications are too much from the NTLTC single thread yes you were my first review posted today it's on p 75 i thinK?
UFO Posted April 21, 2018 Posted April 21, 2018 (edited) Mess I just got thread-banned from the NTLTC thread with ZERO explanation Edited April 21, 2018 by UFO
MattyTacos Posted April 21, 2018 Posted April 21, 2018 1 minute ago, UFO said: THANKS BB! and yas, it has the same uplifting yet melancholy vibe that I LOVE. Woo, Ariana run PH
poki Posted April 21, 2018 Posted April 21, 2018 1 hour ago, ultraviolence.xx said: U MAGAZINE THIS WEEK'S TRACK REVIEWS This post rounds up our reviews of the third quarter of the week's chart debuts. The final quarter will be posted in a later digital issue. @UFO – "Island" Reveal hidden contents UFO returns this week with “island.” UFO is the long-reigning king of maximalism, and it shows here in a beautiful way. one of the things i love is that you’ve got a central metaphor, but not every single line is adhered to that metaphor; you stray from it and don’t just make another clichéd song about an island. the anaphora in the chorus is very effective (and my thoughts kept rising / and my heart kept hunting / and the waves kept charging) and makes for a very cool center of the song. that said, there are a couple issues i noticed. one of them is the slangy delivery in verse 1 (everybody be faking), which felt too conversational and took me out of the song. also there are some tense issues (“i never realiseD who they truly ARE” should be WERE since it’s past tense, “’til they got what they WANT” should similarly be WANTED). favorite part: “it hurts to be your own worst enemy / when you’ve already been stranded / deserted, damaged, abandoned” @Achilles. – "Cassandra" Reveal hidden contents achilles returns this week with “cassandra,” a feminist anthem. from the opening couplet—“for every woman that knows / there are ten men that don’t believe“—it’s clear that achilles is coming for blood. the story is told in a very simple, processional way (we see the signs, sound the alarms / men ignore us and take up arms) that presents the tale without feeling too general or too done-before. i know you wanted “listen” and “missin’” to rhyme in the chorus, but i would’ve gone with “missing”; the clipped version feels too hokey to be taken seriously, and “missing” and “listen” form a cool slant rhyme. the only part of the song that felt like too much was the last two lines of the bridge, which stepped a bit too much into cloying territory. otherwise a very worthy return. favorite part: the opening couplet @Speezy – "Handle It All" Reveal hidden contents speezy returns this week with “handle it all.” this song, to me, feels like it didn’t have long enough to gestate. there are some lazy lines, like “with a body of wonder / that fulfills all of your wonders,” that feel like you laid down the first thing that came to mind. i kept waiting for something to jump out at me and tie it all together but nothing did. you always deliver the sex, but this week it feels like sex without concept. next week i’d like to see you step out of the comfort zone and wow us with a really big concept. i did like that you had some moments of genuine intimacy (standing strong though your skin is scarred, etc.) that elevated this just past the realm of sex. favorite part: “there’s nothing left in between / only you and me” @Tsareena – "Siren Song" Reveal hidden contents Tsareena returns this week with “siren song.” there are some moments in here that feel a bit too slangy and kind of take me out of the mythological magic you’ve got set up, things like “what in the hell.” some of the rhymes, too, feel a bit forced, like “shore / more,” “much / touch.” there were a few specific moments i thought were really gorgeous—the second verse is my favorite part overall, also the mentioning of Atlantis and the really mythological feeling that accompanies that. the use of “God” as an exclamative felt too modern for the tone you were trying to convey in my opinion. i also thought the outro was a bit too on-the-nose. favorite part: “i watch as your lungs fill up with water / my love song is but a song of slaughter” WHEW! @Avocado – "Impulsive By Nature" Reveal hidden contents avocado returns with “impulsive by nature.” that chorus! gaga’s super bowl intro is SHEWK. also girl WHAT are you doing with that arrow?? the verses are really great but some of these rhymes feel incredibly forced. “misguided/lopsided” are both great words but the lines they’re in feel like they were written just for the rhyme. the “reason / season” lines slay though. “you’re the only one with the power to ripen me” should feel cloying but for some reason it doesn’t at all and i STAN. i did want to ask about the title, because it doesn’t seem to fit the song to me. the song gives off a guarded-heart sense, and i’m wondering how impulsivity plays into that. perhaps the impulse is to protect? favorite part: “you’re the only one with the power to ripen me” @Lane Boy – "The Hunger" Reveal hidden contents lane boy returns this week with “the hunger.” i know you submitted this for an assignment and i think it fits the confines of that assignment better than it does a challenge like this. it feels more like a poem than a song and it’d be interesting to see this turned into a song. it feels almost like this could be rearranged/edited into a song, but in its current state, i can’t really read it as anything other than a poem. that being said, i’ll be excited to see what you come up with for the challenge next week. favorite part: the image of “powder blue butterflies,” which stuck with me for a while after reading this originally! @PoKiTaurus – "Ignited" Hide contents “ignited” by PoKiTaurus debuts on the charts this week. this song is technically written well—there aren’t any unbelievably forced lines, the meter is relatively in check—but there isn’t really anything that makes it stand out for me. maybe it’s because i don’t get it. i have no idea who spyro is or the context of anything you’re saying, so maybe there’s a layer i’m missing, but the technicals are good, so i’m thinking later rounds will click for me? (okay i just googled it, OMG, are there new games coming or something? :dies:) at first, my extra ass was thinking this was some sort of odysseus retelling or something. favorite part: “now he’s coming home, to reclaim his throne / you can’t stop him no”. this reads like it would have SUCH a sick melody, catchy af. Yas the new Spyro games are coming this September OT: hard to choose just 1 flower for my song this round
Kylie Jenner Posted April 21, 2018 Posted April 21, 2018 2 minutes ago, UFO said: Mess I just got thread-banned from the NTLTC thread with ZERO explanation RIP
UFO Posted April 21, 2018 Posted April 21, 2018 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Kylie Jenner said: RIP I'm lowkey upset ATRL is way too conservative and restricting in my opinion, and there's literally SO many people being messy. ajfasfakajs hopefully I'm not the only one thread-banned because that's seriously crappy. Like people literally posted that they're happy Avicii's death is not affecting Ari's comeback single and I'm the one who gets thread-banned for posting this pic of Frankie: Edited April 21, 2018 by UFO
Kylie Jenner Posted April 21, 2018 Posted April 21, 2018 Just now, UFO said: I'm lowkey upset ATRL is way too conservative and restricting in my opinion, and there's literally SO many people being messy. ajfasfakajs hopefully I'm not the only one thread-banned because that's seriously crappy. I just wish people would've stayed on topic because now the thread will be dead with everyone getting banned
UFO Posted April 21, 2018 Posted April 21, 2018 (edited) 7 minutes ago, Kylie Jenner said: I just wish people would've stayed on topic because now the thread will be dead with everyone getting banned There's literally no reason for me to get threadbanned from the new thread though I agree with staying on-topic but this is far too harsh, in my opinion. And also the mods should at the very least provide an EXPLANATION as to why. Getting thread-banned out of nowhere is... Edited April 21, 2018 by UFO
UFO Posted April 21, 2018 Posted April 21, 2018 (edited) Quote UFO returns this week with “island.” UFO is the long-reigning king of maximalism, and it shows here in a beautiful way. one of the things i love is that you’ve got a central metaphor, but not every single line is adhered to that metaphor; you stray from it and don’t just make another clichéd song about an island. the anaphora in the chorus is very effective (and my thoughts kept rising / and my heart kept hunting / and the waves kept charging) and makes for a very cool center of the song. that said, there are a couple issues i noticed. one of them is the slangy delivery in verse 1 (everybody be faking), which felt too conversational and took me out of the song. also there are some tense issues (“i never realiseD who they truly ARE” should be WERE since it’s past tense, “’til they got what they WANT” should similarly be WANTED). favorite part: “it hurts to be your own worst enemy / when you’ve already been stranded / deserted, damaged, abandoned” THANK YOU @ultraviolence.xx I really need this right now! also had to google some words but YAS, king of maximalism!!!! you're reminding me of the great sis @Meowster, making my song sound much better than it actually is THANK YOU yes! I try to stick to a central metaphor as much as possible and I was WAY worse with that in the past, but I still love veering out here and there into other imagery. omg STAN "And my thoughts kept rising / And my heart kept hunting / And the waves kept charging" I love that part too. and I love the lyric you chose! not gonna lie, writing the bridge made me VERY emotional. Edited April 21, 2018 by UFO
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