Citrus Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 Random Review #5 @ultraviolence.xx maybe I'm missing the boat, but I'm not usually as wowed by you as the other judges. I think it's because of my predisposition against pretty imagery songs, so lemme work on myself a biT. This is a well written song, as your others have been, but this concept is so beyond tired and basic. Automatic deduction to every Florence song about water. I know it's a round to emulate, but this kind of style is the easiest route to take and dammit I want to see y'all challenge yourselves. I know you can write smoothly and with meter, rhythm, etc etc. However, technical skills are only so much without the intrinsic emotional quality, the OOMPH behind the song, be it personal, creative, or whatever. I need your OOMPH girl, go that extra mile in theme or confession. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minho Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 thanks for the review ~ i definitely agree it was hard to emulate dolly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citrus Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 Random Review #6 @UFO n remember last round when I said you write well but need to work on being more concise? Trick question because you obviously DON'T. There's a lot of cute figurative language, structuring, etc, but we lose our connection to those killer lines when there are like 14 more after it till we hit the chorus. You have a lot of ideas and they're mostly good, slay! But you don't have to force every single idea into your song. Sometimes you have a great line that doesn't fit or doesn't add much - it's okay to not include it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citrus Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 1 minute ago, minho said: thanks for the review ~ i definitely agree it was hard to emulate dolly Esp for someone with a less wordy style like you. Very impressed by what you managed to do with her while still maintaining your own thing. Hence why I signed you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citrus Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 7 minutes ago, SaintWest said: i am eating my chipotle burrito, unbothered by you Random Review #7 @SaintWest No @ night and night rhyming. I love the concept of this, it's a neat way to cover Amy's typical territory but in a new and interesting way. I don't think your song particularly fit her writing style much beyond the topic, though. The nursing a box of wine line especially sticks out because she'd never say that - her figurative language came from dark, sartorial little quips, not everyday metaphors and the like. Swish swish fish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hug Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 Wow let me warn for disruptive Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citrus Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 Random Review #8 @KatyCatPH Okay, honestly drag me for thinking you were gonna be eliminated again. You've shown SO much growth from that first song, and it's really, really encouraging to see. This concept is cute and everything Taylor wished "Welcome to New York" was. I commend you on keeping a consistent theme with your imagery (musical terminology), and I see big things ahead if you keep improving. Slant rhymes like 'closed' and 'roar' are tricky because most slant rhymes rely on pronunciation - if you're gonna use 'em, try to make sure they come across in text, as well. Reminder to check syllable counts, of course, but just keep proofreading and having others check your stuff. Keep up the upward trajectory queen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citrus Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 Random Review #9 @FCKNAmbrosia Deduction for writing about water, sorry sweetie I do like you tho. The titular castaway/clarity line isn't strong enough to anchor the song, but the rest of it is solid enough. You've got good imagery (if not the most strikingly original) and you don't overdo it. One thing that stuck out was the weirdness of some of your descriptors (white sunshine, seance as what?) and awkward lines (the bridge, esp the sand and hourglass line). Try reading your song out loud without music or singing to make sure the words flow easily from your lips without any major pauses or stumbling phrases. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ultraviolence.xx Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 32 minutes ago, Citrus said: I need your OOMPH girl i lowkey cackled at this thank you sis! so if you're predisposed to imagery songs, what wows you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ultraviolence.xx Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 am i finally making ground on my song? stay tuned Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ultraviolence.xx Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 Just now, Gastrodonatella said: gastrodonatella turns her TV off are you comfortable, living in your bubble, bubble? so comfortable you cannot see the trouble, trouble? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ultraviolence.xx Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 (edited) uvie, "violet-eyed" • with violet eyes and tender speech you held my hand and piece by piece rebuilt the broken parts of me • coming soon x Edited September 13, 2017 by ultraviolence.xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ultraviolence.xx Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 Just now, Gastrodonatella said: some of yall need to learn from this gif with ur wordy asses the longest word in my song right now is one of the gemstone descriptors given in the prompt lol so i think i'm learning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minho Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 play of colour it’s early morning but we call it a night platonic love, reflecting in the light Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurora Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 9 minutes ago, Gastrodonatella said: some of yall need to learn from this gif with ur wordy asses I literally have just 9 words and one of them has 5 syllables, me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ultraviolence.xx Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 when you thought somebody cared about your growth and development as a songwriter and would want to hear about your progress Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ultraviolence.xx Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 14 minutes ago, minho said: play of colour it’s early morning but we call it a night platonic love, reflecting in the light this is gorgeous omfg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citrus Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 44 minutes ago, ultraviolence.xx said: i lowkey cackled at this thank you sis! so if you're predisposed to imagery songs, what wows you? I didn't mean it's a bad thing! It's probably an implicit bias because I can't do imagery songs - I kinda specialize in the more simplistic, storytelling type stuff so that's usually what I like to read, as well. Of course I'm not expecting Dolly storytelling from anyone, but I love when a song has some form of narrative. If you're only describing a moment, that's fine, but then your figurative language has to be so strong that it makes me forget nothing is happening. @Jackson's "Stardust" is a good example of a great balance between strong imagery and weaving a narrative, if he's willing to post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ultraviolence.xx Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 Just now, Citrus said: I didn't mean it's a bad thing! It's probably an implicit bias because I can't do imagery songs - I kinda specialize in the more simplistic, storytelling type stuff so that's usually what I like to read, as well. Of course I'm not expecting Dolly storytelling from anyone, but I love when a song has some form of narrative. If you're only describing a moment, that's fine, but then your figurative language has to be so strong that it makes me forget nothing is happening. @Jackson's "Stardust" is a good example of a great balance between strong imagery and weaving a narrative, if he's willing to post i've read Stardust! good example. thanks also how much of a deduction did you give for water songs lmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaintWest Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 1 hour ago, Citrus said: Random Review #7 @SaintWest No @ night and night rhyming. I love the concept of this, it's a neat way to cover Amy's typical territory but in a new and interesting way. I don't think your song particularly fit her writing style much beyond the topic, though. The nursing a box of wine line especially sticks out because she'd never say that - her figurative language came from dark, sartorial little quips, not everyday metaphors and the like. Swish swish fish. thanks sis. but was it badly written or did it just not fit the challenge because it scored really badly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hug Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 So, I think in order of my favorite to least favorite is now... Heaven's Mirror > Tu'er Shen > Kaleidoscope Skies > Ms. Andry, and we're praying the scores don't serve reverse tea! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ultraviolence.xx Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 Just now, Hug said: didn't ask asdfghjk,mbvd i'd love to read your song this week if you want my probably unhelpful feedback Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hug Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 3 minutes ago, Gastrodonatella said: didn't ask Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hug Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 3 minutes ago, ultraviolence.xx said: asdfghjk,mbvd i'd love to read your song this week if you want my probably unhelpful feedback Oh, sure I'll share my song. It's...different for me this week so idk how it will go but I like it regardless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denim Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 Will the op ever have a link to reviews? I think i've seen maybe 3 reviews of my songs this season Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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