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Why do gays struggle to see possessiveness as a good thing?


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Posted

If I wanted to subscribe to the norms of the hets, I'd be in a heterosexual relationship.

I'm not interested in being micromanaged, controlled and isolated, neither am I interested in the hallucinations and delusions of somebody who continuously imagines me to break his trust, for no valid reason whatsoever. I'd rather stay single my entire life than deal with this dumbass possessive ass attitude of a man ever again. :rip: 

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  • nsst

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Posted

Possessiveness is a toxic trait. There is no middle ground on this. The fact that you think that it's okay and should be tolerated is kind of an issue.

Posted

My boyfriends were always possessive of me. 

 

It was creepy they kinda stalked me. 

 

So I ended up giving up occasionally. They were kinda mostly Gaga fans so it made sense unhinged and listening to the songs from the past. 

Posted

I think possessiveness implies an extreme degrees and thus is inherently unhealthy.  
 

I care about my boyfriend and am interested in his day and the lives of his friends.  We both try to help each other be our best selves, but I think it is unhealthy to feel ownership over a person and micromanage their lives.  

Posted

I don't think "possesiveness" is the right term. It's called "commitment". Possessive people are trash no matter the sexual orientation but if you can't count the number of sexual partners you've had while being in a relationship and try to cover it as "freedom" or as "part of LGBT culture" then I feel sorry for you.

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Posted

because it is.

 

 

having feelings of jealousy is normal, not being able to process them and trying to control your partner is not.

Posted
On 10/18/2024 at 10:36 PM, nsst said:

it is 

 

there's definitely a double standard when it comes to possessiveness in relationships. in straight relationships if a guy shows a bit of jealousy or wants to check on his girlfriend, it's often seen as cute and caring.. but in gay relationships, the same behavior gets labeled quickly as toxic

 

 

the examples you listed in the op are toxic af. demanding to see your partner's phone is problematic, it't not 'cute' even if some people see it that way.

Posted

The patriarchy got y'all GOOD :deadbanana2:

Posted

Idk I kinda like it when my partner is like that. But being overly possessive can turn toxic. Some guys need their space and some degree of freedom but sometimes too much freedom can lead them to cheating or doing shady things behind your back.

Posted

It is not "natural". It's rooted in culture.

 

"possessiveness" as in "possess" is negativley coded in itself when attributed to people and relationships.

 

Did Mariah teach you nothing, my friend?

 

 

 

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Posted

Maybe because it is associated with male ownership of women. I mean op got banned guess I'm just discussing it with the rest of atrl 

Posted

The OP being perma banned.

 

:deadbanana:

Posted

What a ******* weird post :rip: 

 

The borderline personality disorder jumped out 

Posted
On 11/3/2024 at 9:05 AM, Chris said:

The OP being perma banned.

 

:deadbanana:

Why though?

Posted

As a person who fell into this trap both in friendships and relationships at some point, NEVER AGAIN.

Posted

being into possessiveness is a sign to go to therapy lol

Posted
On 11/2/2024 at 8:05 PM, Chris said:

The OP being perma banned.

 

:deadbanana:

and I bet he liked it...

Posted (edited)

People are not objects to possess. When it comes to kinks, please by all means enjoy being possessed or possess someone consentually.

 

When it comes to relationships, you do not ever own or possess someone unless they want to. Society tells you you need to be possessive and/or jealous of your partner because it imposes control and heteronormativity. Thankfully, queerness allows you to not fall into that trap.

 

You do not own someone to have the right to be emotionally or physically demanding of control and possessiveness. That's really wrong.

Edited by Mr.X
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Posted
On 10/18/2024 at 11:36 PM, nsst said:

it is 

 

there's definitely a double standard when it comes to possessiveness in relationships. in straight relationships if a guy shows a bit of jealousy or wants to check on his girlfriend, it's often seen as cute and caring.. but in gay relationships, the same behavior gets labeled quickly as toxic

 

 

Am I back in the 80s? I thought we left this garbage way of thinking in the last century

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